Monday, July 27, 2009

Vampires vs. Zombies

There are not many valid reasons to watch a movie that you know heading into it is going to stink. One of those reasons (and quite possibly, the only one) is to mercilessly mock the horrible acting and the restraints of the shoestring budget. I thoroughly enjoyed "Zombie Town" because even though it was a bad movie, it was entertaining in its badness. You could tell the creators love movies and tried their best to make a good one. They just couldn't afford it and made due with what they had. They had a plot, a climax and even some backstory. Everything about the movie was bad, but they kind of knew it, which made it all the more fun.

On the other hand, there is no joy in Vampires vs. Zombies. Faced with the same budget constraints as any independent film, they chose to spend the money on a blender with no lid, threw their script into it and produced a movie that is so incomprehensibly bad, it's not even funny. First of all, [SPOILER ALERT] there is absolutely no interaction between the vampires and the zombies in a movie that is entitled VAMPIRES VS. ZOMBIES! If that's not a cardinal sin in itself, then get this- the zombies have nothing to do with the "plot" of the movie. I use plot in quotations because the things that do happen make no sense at all- but I COULD figure out that it had nothing to do with zombies. It would be like Twilight taking place in the mall from Dawn of the Dead with none of the characters ever noticing the undead running around. Even Jack and Rose eventually noticed that the Titanic was sinking. This film takes place during a zombie plague but has nothing to do with a zombie plague, except for when a character hears news about it on the radio or runs over a zombie for fun.

Even worse than the zombies being a non-factor, was the fact that the movie is boring and makes no sense. I can't even begin to explain how unexplainable this jumbled mess is. I'd be happy to try if you would like to contact me personally, but make sure you have a first aid kit for when my ears start bleeding.

Nevertheless, there are some LOL moments of low budget hilarity that I was able to glean from this brain-numbing experience, which I will now present in list form. I implore you to just take my word for it and never give this movie even a minute of your time.

-The movie's about vampires, but takes place exclusively in the daytime, where the vampires are fully functional monsters.

-There is a long (and boring) scene where the three mains are trying to hide a dead vampire they killed from a cop. [I thought something nefarious was afoot because the cop was the same lady who played one of the mastermind vampires, but in the end, I think they were just re-using an actress] Anyway, they get out of that jam without being discovered. Later, as they approach a soldier in the road, one of the girls mentions how the dead body is no big deal if its discovered because they killed in self-defense.

-The movie was made in 2004, but somehow the cellphones look like one step up from the Zack Morris special.

-One character kidnaps another and throws her in the backseat of the car where she cannot, for the life of her, open the doors to get out. Later, when it turns out to be mistaken identity, he tells her to get out of the car and she does. So either she was too panicked at first to figure out how to unlock a door, or they didn't show the guy off-screen hitting the lock button on his keychain over and over again.

-Two of the mains are traveling in an open-topped Jeep, so naturally you would not be able to hear what they were saying if they were traveling over 5 mph. What they are saying is how they will catch up to Dad in no time flat.-One girl has no less than ten dream sequences which she wakes up startled or screaming from every single time. She even wakes up from one while behind the wheel of an automobile. I guess it was fine since they were only going 5 mph.-One girl saves her companions from a vampire only to kill them both in the very next scene because she's in cahoots with another vampire. So, for one thing, why did she bother to save them? Did she want that extra sting of betrayal to send them to hell with? And secondly, the film would have been more accurately titled Vampires vs. Other Vampires On the Backdrop of a Zombie Plague.

-During one of the dream sequences, the main girl finds the bathtub filled with goo. She goes downstairs and tells dad, "There's something in the tub." Dad bolts upstairs as if he has just been told his collection of baseball cards is on fire. Next time the toilet is clogged, I'm calling 911.

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. This was much more fun to write than that movie will ever be to watch, so I guess I'm thankful for that, but overall, I'd say I now have a civic duty to make sure no one ever watches Vampires vs. Zombies on purpose. Learn from my mistakes!

As a movie: 0
As a horror movie: 1
As a zombie movie: 1 (I'd give it a 0 but there are zombies in the movie-it's just hard to tell)
As an indie movie full of unintentional comedy: 3
As a movie a horny 14 year-old boy would watch to try and see boobs: 2 (There's more vampire lesbianism than zombies, but even still, it would only be hot if you had never seen a boob before, including in the movies)

Friday, April 3, 2009

LOST- Whatever Happened, Happened

Previously on LOST: Sawyer found out he had a kid, Kate befriended the mother, Sawyer jumped off the helicopter, Kate decided to unofficially adopt Aaron and, in 1977, young Ben broke Sayid out of jail only to get shot by him in return.

Things pick up right where they left off last week- Jin is stirred to consciousness by Phil calling him on the walkie. Jin knows that Sayid is heading north because he was attacked by him. That's good work. I wouldn't know which way the assailant went if I got mugged; I'd just be crying. Jin finds young Ben gravely wounded and loads the dying boy into his van.

Back at Dharmatown, Horace is rallying the troops to prepare for another attack. Jack has the audacity to question Horace's assumption that Sayid set the Dharma van on fire, which seems to ruffle the Dharma leader's feathers a little. I'm sure what's really perturbing him is that he knows there was no security breach and therefore, someone on the inside had to have helped Sayid. Meanwhile, Ben's dad asks for Kate's help getting the extinguished van dislodged from the side of the house and quickly deduces that she has no idea what she's doing. "I guess they couldn't sucker anybody into getting on that sub if they told us we were going to be greasemonkeys and janitors." They shake hands and make friends. Luckily Roger doesn't notice the strange look on Kate's face when she figures out that she just met Ben's dad. Just then, Jin returns and Roger goes running after him in a panic when he sees his boy is injured.

Kate flashes back, er, forward, uh, she thinks about when she got off the island the first time and carried out her promise to Sawyer. Pretty obviously, that promise was to check on his daughter, Clementine. Cassidy answers the door, happy to see her old friend again. The mood turns quickly, however, when Kate reveals that Sawyer sent her. Cue creepy LOST title screen.

During the commercial, Kate gets Cassidy up to speed on WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. Cassidy sees Sawyer jumping off the chopper as an act of cowardice, not heroism. She is not surprised to learn that the money Kate is trying to fork out isn't even Sawyer's. "Is it his?" she asks Kate, referring to Aaron. Cassidy can tell from Kate's practiced answer about her pregnancy that the baby is not even hers. But why would Kate trust Cassidy with the truth about the island and then lie about Aaron? "Because I have to," Kate says with a forced smile.

In '77, Horace and Sawyer check out Sayid's cell and find the janitor's keys still in the keyhole. This leaves three suspects, one of them Jack. Outside, Sawyer tells Miles to round up the O6ers and keep them under unofficial house arrest. Things are starting to spin out of control. At the infirmary, Sawyer runs into Roger and asks him for his keys, which the janitor can not produce. Case solved! A look of realization comes over Roger's face as Sawyer goes inside to get a medical update from Juliet. Juliet, the car mechanic! Why does no one question this?? Inside, Sawyer learns that Juliet can do little to help Ben- he needs a real surgeon. And Sawyer just happens to know of one!

Meanwhile, Miles informs the gang of Sawyer's house arrest plan, which Jack doesn't take kindly to. Miles laughs at Hurley's notion that they are all going to disappear because Sayid changed the future by killing Ben. Miles restates Daniel's thesis that whatever happened, happened. Hey, that's the name of this episode! Sayid always shot little Ben in 1977, they all just hadn't experienced it yet. This only leaves Hurley more confused. Sawyer bursts in and asks Jack for his help with Ben. Jack shocks everyone by refusing to help, fully prepared to let Ben just die.

Later, Kate tries to play the "he's just a boy" card, but Jack is not biting. He says he is done trying to fix everything because he was only getting in the island's way. Kate storms out of the house and "surprisingly", Miles does not make good on his earlier threat to shoot anyone who leaves in the leg. Kate then turns up at the infirmary to offer her blood as a universal donor to young Ben Linus. While Kate gives blood, Juliet asks what's going on with Kate and Jack and learns that the two used to be engaged. Roger comes in to get an update and agrees to stay with Kate while Juliet gets back to work. He reveals with very real pain and regret how Ben stole his keys to break Sayid out and get away from him. He now has to cope with how terrible a father he has been.

Back at the house, Miles is getting more and more frustrated as Hurley tries to wrap his brain around all this time travel business. Miles begs Hurley to shoot him. Hurley says Miles can't die in 1977 because then he will never come to the island 30 years later. Miles assures him that he can die because he has already experienced coming back to the island. Hurley then asks why adult Ben, while being captured and tortured in the hatch by Sayid, would not remember being shot as a kid by that exact same guy. Miles finally concedes a point to Hurley and everyone is just as confused as ever.

[My take on the whole thing, which may or may not help you: Their minds and bodies are moving in a normal, human chronology, but their life experiences are not.]

At the infirmary, Juliet sends Roger off to get more supplies, telling him that his boy is stable. She then confides to Kate that that is not exactly good enough. They begin to discuss their options and a look of sick, frustrating, gosh-darn-it-all-ness sweeps over Juliet's face. The Others can help.

Kate and Juliet load Ben into a Dharma van and Kate gets to experience the other end of the line she usually says. "I'm coming with you." Kate insists that Juliet can't come because she has too much to lose. Kate has much less of an established life in the Dharma Inititative and can more afford to go on this crazy adventure. Juliet says she will stall Sawyer as long as she can.

Back at the pivotal dock scene in Oceanic Six time, Kate finds out the plan to go back to the island and leaves in disgust. Aaron wants some milk so she takes him to the grocery store. Inside, she gets a call from Jack that she chooses to ignore, but when she turns around, her boy has disappeared! After a few panicky moments, she finds Aaron at the front of the store walking away and holding a blonde woman's hand. The woman explains that the boy looked LOST so she was taking him up front to have an announcement made. Kate thanks the woman and hugs Aaron tight.

In '77, Kate arrives at the sonic fence and gets out to check on Ben. The dying boy asks her to tell his dad he's sorry he took the keys. Kate looks terrified as another van approaches her. It is Sawyer, but he is not there to stop her. He is there to help.

Back in O6 time, Kate has returned to visit Cassidy, as apparently their friendship has been repaired and maintained over the last three years. Cassidy is also surprised that Jack and company want to go back to the island. Kate then recounts the tale of how she LOST Aaron in the store and wonders why she more than half expected him to be taken. "Because you took him," Cassidy replies. Kate says Claire was gone- she had to help the baby because he needed her. Cassidy tells her friend knowingly that Sawyer broke her heart and Kate was the one who needed Aaron.

Back in '77, Kate asks Sawyer why he is helping. He says it's because Juliet asked him to. No matter what Ben may grow up to be, they can't just let a kid die. Back at the house, Juliet dismisses Miles and Hurley so she can confront Jack in the shower. And she sees his whole con-front. She expresses her sadness and disappoinment that Jack wouldn't help her in the infirmary. She doesn't need his help, she just wants to know why he came back. Jack again spouts that Locke-esque "nonsense" about the island and purpose and destiny, even though he doesn't yet know what he's supposed to do. "Well, you better figure it out," Juliet tells him with a pained look on her face.

In the jungle, Kate tells Sawyer how she did what he asked and helped Clementine. Sawyer asks about Cassidy and Kate tells him Casssidy's theory about why he jumped. Sawyer's face says that he can't disagree with his ex's assessment of him. He tells Kate that he never could have been her boyfriend because he wasn't cut out for it at the time. Kate mentions how well he's doing with Juliet and Sawyer agrees, saying he has grown up a lot in three years. Before things can get any mushier, the two are confronted by the Others, who have their guns drawn. Sawyer demands to be taken to Richard Alpert.

Back in the future, Kate visits Claire's mother at the motel and comes clean about everything, including how she has a grandson and how Claire is still alive. Kate tells her that she is checked in with Aaron two doors down and the boy knows that his grandmother will be taking care of him. As for Kate, she is heading back to the island to find Claire. In her room later, Kate strokes Aaron's hair and cries while he sleeps. This is good-bye...probably forever.

In '77, the Others are marching their prisoners to see Richard, when he suddenly just appears like he already knew they were coming. Richard correctly identifies the hurt boy as Ben Linus, which startles Sawyer. Richard can help the boy but...

"If I take him, he's not ever going to be the same again...he'll forget this ever happened and...his innocence will be gone. He will always be one of us."

Uh, what the hell does that all mean? But, sure, go ahead and take him anyway.

Richard takes Ben in his arms and is questioned by one of his Other buddies about doing it without asking Ellie or Charles. Hmmm. Richard says he doesn't answer to them and walks away. He keeps walking until he gets to the temple, where he ominously takes young Ben through its mysterious doors.

Back in the most present of all LOST's presents, Locke watches Ben wake up from his encounter with the business end of an oar and welcomes him back to the "land of the living." Hardy har har, I thought of that one while I was creepily staring at your unconscious body! That was a good one, right?

Next time: The holes in Ben's post-island story are filled in, such as, how did he get so badly beaten! Yay!

Friday, March 27, 2009

LOST- He's Our You

Turns out the island still needed me, so I'm back after two years. Let's get right into it.

Previously on LOST, young Ben Linus met a disheveled hostile named Richard in the jungle, who told him to be patient. Years later, adult Ben hired Sayid to kill all the Widmore boys who might hurt Sayid's buddies. Still later, Sayid was transported back to the island and captured as a hostile by Jin. Oh, and it's the 70's so it's not really "later" at all. Ugh!

If there's one thing we've learned about Sayid, it's that his flashbacks are boring and predictable. When he was a boy in Iraq, his brother (?) friend (?) who cares (?) was assigned to kill a chicken but the future PETA member couldn't do it. Young boy Sayid broke a chicken's neck and handed it over, but the other boy wouldn't go along with the ruse. Dad was impressed by Sayid's killer instinct and told him he would be a man.

In 1977, young Ben Linus has taken an active interest in Sayid, the hostile prisoner. Phil tries to talk him out of bringing in another sandwich since Sayid is not eating, but Ben insists. He tells Sayid the story of how he met Richard and says that if Sayid is patient, like Ben has been, then Ben can help him. Cue creepy LOST title screen.

During the Oceanic Six days, Sayid was a hired assassin and here he is again, breaking into a panicked man's apartment and shooting him dead. The attempted bribe did not work. Sayid meets Ben in a back alley and is informed that the list is complete. Assignment over. Instead of being happy, Sayid seems to take this news like a teenager being dumped. So Ben doesn't even want to go out for cake to celebrate? That's it?? Ben tells him to go live his life.

In 1977, a grim-looking Horace enters Sayid's cell with an implement of torture, but it's a fake out. He just cuts the restraints off Sayid's wrists. Horace introduces himself and asks what Sayid was doing in the jungle, but Sayid remains silent. Horace gives him an hour to decide to talk or the stakes will get higher.

Elsewhere, Sawyer finds Juliet sadly staring out their window and asks what's up? She thinks their time playing house together is over. She never thought the O6 would come back, thus implying that maybe she didn't even want them to. She is concerned that Sayid will give them all away. Sawyer assures her he has things under control, but he uses his extra sweet voice. Ya know, distract her with kindness. Because the look on his face when Horace shows up and says there's a problem with the prisoner reveals that Sawyer is far from in control. Horace wants to bring in Oldham but Sawyer is against using "that psychopath." Instead, he offers to talk to the prisoner himself...alone.

Sawyer barges into the security station and dismisses Phil from his post. And finally, Sawyer and Sayid get to have a little quality time to work out a plan. Sayid asks how Sawyer can live there with Ben and Sawyer replies that he has no choice. Sawyer enters the cell and headbutts his friend, starting a fight. Sawyer's plan is to make it look like Sayid struggled with him as Sawyer beat a confession out of him. Then they'll say that Sayid gave up intel on the hostiles in exchange for living there with them. Voila! Problem solved. Except for......

Oh yeah, Sayid doesn't like that plan. He doesn't want to live there with them in perfect Dharma harmony. He would rather just be let go. Sawyer can't do that because he is trusted and it would blow his cover. It's either join the party or be on your own. "Then I guess I'm on my own," Sayid says determinedly.

In the Dharma cafeteria, Kate asks Jack what the plan is, but what she doesn't understand is that Jack is no longer the man with the plan. This is the new "go with the flow" Jack and he is leaving everything up to Sawyer. Happily, too. Hurley mentions the other elephant in the room (that wasn't a fat joke, I swear)- the fact that Sawyer and Juliet are together now. Kate looks understandably sad. Is it too late to change my mind about getting on that flight? Oh, crap, it is!

Back at the cell, Ben's dad, the janitor, starts mopping up and makes fun of Sayid for getting caught. Ben comes in with more food for the prisoner and receives a verbal, then physical beat down from his angry father. Sayid is shocked and angry but can do nothing from behind bars except glare. Glare and think.

He thinks about when he was building houses in the Dominican Republic and Ben came by to see him. Ben tells him about the new danger. Locke is dead and there's a thug staking out Hurley's mental institute. Sayid, still feeling like the jilted lover, questions why he should help Ben again. "You're capable of things most other men aren't," Ben tells him. Sayid says he doesn't like killing people. Ben apologizes for calling him a killer. (It was a compliment, man!) Ben walks away defeated, but not really, as we and probably he knows.

Back in '77, Sawyer is back with a security team. When Sayid remains silent during his last chance, Sawyer has no choice but to stun him and order, "Take him to Oldham."

Oldham is a creepy looking loner who lives on the outskirts of Dharmatown in a teepee. Sayid asks Sawyer who he is and Sawyer replies in a whisper, "He's our you." Hey, that's the name of this episode! Sayid tries to struggle so security ties him to a tree where he is force-fed Oldham's special brand of truth serum. That smell is Sawyer's trousers.

Back at the pier in 2007, Sayid dismisses himself from Ben's O6 reunion and goes off to a bar. He meets a beautiful woman and aw, hell, I'll just skip this part because it's boring and obvious and I mean, really, didn't we go through this exact same thing in Sayid's last episode, "The Economist?" Oh, and is the mysterious Economist dead? Ben said the list was complete! What the hell? Anyway, whats-her-name seduces Sayid, kicks him in the face and says he is going to Guam to answer for the murder of the dude from the golfcourse.

In 1977, Sayid's drugs are taking effect and he loopily answers question #1. His name is Sayid Jarrah. Then the fun really begins as Sayid is forced to spill, via truth serum, how he really came to be on the island...twice! And he knows the purposes of three Dharma stations- including the Swan which hasn't been built yet! He's from the future and you're all going to die! Wheeeeee!!! Fortunately for Sawyer and everyone else we know and love, this all sounds like crazy nonsense. Oldham apologizes for using too strong a concoction. In one of the best moments of the season, a loopy and defeated Sayid laughs maniacally and says that the dose was exactly enough. I think he finally reached that Jack-like breaking point. You win, island! Let's just do what you will!

At the motor pool, apparently no one has questioned why Juliet was suddenly an expert baby deliverer and she's back to fixing Mystery Mobiles. She has a tense and overly-polite, faux-friendly conversation with Kate about how she and Sawyer are together now.

That night, Horace has a meeting in his home with all the Dharma team leaders about what to do with Sayid. Radzinsky wants to kill him. They have no choice. He knows too much. Sawyer, obviously, is against this but slowly and surely, the argument begins to favor Radzinsky. Even the reluctant and possibly benevolent Horace calls for execution when it's finally put to a vote. He turns to Sawyer, the lone "nay" vote and says that he would really like to call it unanimous. Giving in to peer pressure and self-preservation, Sawyer has no choice but to raise his hand and vote his friend dead.

Saywer's last ditch plan is to have it look like Sayid beat him up and escaped. But Sayid will not go, even in the face of execution. Sayid explains that when he woke up in the jungle and realized where he was, he felt he had no purpose left. But now he knows what it is. Sawyer thinks he's crazy for thinking his purpose is to get shot and leaves the cell in a huff.

Sawyer gets to his own doorstep, pauses and walks over to Kate's house. Oh, so it's starting already. Poor Juliet! He asks why she came back (and messed up everything!!!!!) Kate says she only knows why she came back. (LOST- proudly serving answers that don't answer anything since 2004!) Before the conversation can go further, they are distracted by the old flaming Dharma van crashing into a house and starting a massive fire trick. The fire brigade springs into action and saves the occupants of the house. Jack asks what happened and Sawyer says, "Three years and no burning buses! Ya'll are back for one day..." (and messed up everything!!!!!!) And that line cements in Sawyer the opinion that Juliet expressed earlier. They waited so long for something that they forgot why they were waiting... and maybe they didn't even want it anymore.

The burning bus, it turns out, was young Ben's plan to distract everyone so he could spring Sayid from jail. Sayid plays along and says that he has been sent to get Ben. They run off together into the jungle and I think it's safe to assume what Sayid thinks his new purpose is. Because he's boring and predicatable. Jin finds the two runaways and starts to call it in, but Sayid kicks his butt and takes his gun. Then he says, "You were right about me. I am a killer." Sayid pulls the trigger and shoots the surprised boy dead. Predictable in execution, gigantic in canonical implications!

Next time: Horace knows someone let Sayid out of his cell and Sawyer's long con starts crumbling down thanks to those damned O6ers!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Top 101 of 2008

101. White Winter Hymnal- Fleet Foxes
100. Between Us & Them- Moving Units
99. Mother Mary- Foxboro Hot Tubs
98. Language City- Wolf Parade
97. Better Things- Passion Pit
96. One Month Off- Bloc Party
95. Let’s Dance To Joy Division
94. Elvis- These New Puritans
93. Sausalito- Conor Oberst
92. You! Me! Dancing!- Los Campesinos!
91. Top Drawer- Man Man
90. GfC- Albert Hammond Jr.
89. California Girls- The Magnetic Fields
88.Cath…- Death Cab For Cutie
87. Futures & Folly- Blitzen Trapper
86. The Age of the Understatement- The Last Shadow Puppets
85. While We Go Dancing- White Rabbit
84. Bathosphere- Smog
83. You Don’t Know Me- Ben Folds w/Regina Spektor
82. Working Part Time- The Henry Clay People
81. Buildings & Mountains- The Republic Tigers
80. For Emma- Bon Iver
79. Rat is Dead- CSS
78. Creeper- Islands
77. Seeing Hands- Dengue Fever
76. The Step & The Walk- The Duke Spirit
75. Alarm Clock- The Rumble Strips
74. Dawn of the Dead- Does it Offend You, Yeah?
73. New Soul- Yael Naim
72. I Will Possess Your Heart- Death Cab For Cutie
71. Shut Up and Let Me Go- The Ting Tings
70. The Kelly Affair- Be Your Own Pet
69. Sax Rohmer #1- The Mountain Goats
68. Fools -The Dodos
67. Get Better- Mates of State
66. Is There a Ghost- A Band of Horses
65. Mirando- Ratatat
64. Highways of Gold- Jaguar Love
63. Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa- Vampire Weekend
62. Keep Your Eyes Ahead- The Helio Sequence
61. Regrets a Paradise- Japanese Motors
60. A & E- Goldfrapp
59. Ghosts- Ladytron
58. Paper Planes- MIA
57. Lights & Music- Cut Copy
56. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?- She & Him
55. Hummingbird- Born Ruffians
54. Cannibal Queen- Miniature Tigers
53. Oxford Comma- Vampire Weekend
52. Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
51. The Plot- White Rabbits
50. Take Me To the Riot- Stars
49. No One’s Gonna Love You- A Band of Horses
48. Hang Them All- Tapes ’n’ Tapes
47. Balloons- Foals
46. The Beginning of the Twist- Futureheads
45. The Engine Driver- The Decemberists
44. Veni Vidi Vici- The Black Lips
43. The Nun’s Litany- The Magnetic Fields
42. Sour Cherry- The Kills
41. Lucid Dreams- Franz Ferdinand
40. Do The Panic- Phantom Planet
39. Second, Minute or Hour- Jack Penate
38. Lolita- Throw Me the Statue
37. Grounds For Divorce- Elbow
36. Publish My Love- Rogue Wave
35. My Drive-Thru- Santogold, Julian Casablancas and N.E.R.D.
34. Sentimental Heart- She & Him
33. West Coast- Coconut Records
32. A-Punk- Vampire Weekend
31. I Woke Up Today- Port O’Brien
30. Please Stop Dancing- The Magnetic Fields
29. Skinny Love- Bon Iver
28. Some Are Lakes- Land of Talk
27. Walk it Off- The Breeders
26. Lovely Allen- Holy Fuck
25. Homecoming- The Teenagers
24. Featherbeds- Oxford Collapse
23. Grip Like a Vice- The Go! Team
22. Kids- MGMT
21. Mercury- Bloc Party
20. No Sex For Ben- The Rapture
19. Rich Girls- The Virgins
18. Big Mistake- Tim Fite
17. Good to Sea- Pinback
16. That’s Not My Name- The Ting Tings
15. 2 Atoms in a Molecule- Noah & The Whale
14. Little Bit- Lykke Li
13. Rocky Took a Lover- Bell X1
12. Oh No You Didn’t!- Wojahn Bros
11. Electric Feel- MGMT
10. I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You- Black Kids
9. Handlebars- Flobots
8. Bruises- Chairlift
7. Great DJ- The Ting Tings
6. No Children- The Mountain Goats
5. Bag of Hammers- Thao Nguyen
4. Time To Pretend- MGMT
3. L.E.S. Artistes- Santogold
2. URA Fever- The Kills
1. Five Years Time- Noah and the Whale

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Bullet Points

  • I am wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up and a long-sleeved T-shirt without the sleeves rolled up. I've never seen this done and I am going to keep doing it until I see someone else doing it. I invented a style! I think. My wife says I look stupid. She may not have been referring to my clothes, though.
  • Regardless of the fact that I don't get NFL Network and can't watch the game anyway, I find Thursday night football utterly annoying. It's oversaturation. We don't need games on Sunday, Monday and Thursday and sometimes Saturday. I like to take all week to think about the games and who I'm going to pick. Now I have to rush my picks in because the deadline got pushed back three days for the sake one of stupid game I can't watch and don't care about! Annoying.
  • Yesterday on my way home from work, I saw a house fully decorated for Christmas. Lights, gigantic Santa blow-up- the works. Trying to make Christmas last four months is annoying enough when retail stores do it, but there is no commercial gain for someone to decorate their house 2 months in advance! When I used to say things like, "I can't wait for summer vacation!" my mother used to say, "You're wishing your life away!" And I think to a degree, we all do that. We look forward to things that are going to happen more than we enjoy the things that are happening now. "Why should I have to wait for something? That's boring! I'll just make it Christmas now and put up my decorations!" In that spirit, I'm totally making my Best of 2008 song list and posting it within the next week. Hey, the second week of November is practically the end of the year, right? I'm too excited about it to do any of that stupid waiting stuff.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Worst Week

My favorite new show of the TV season is "Worst Week". That show has made me LOL literally in three out of four episodes.

Since Hollywood rarely has an original thought, it was no surprise that "Worst Week" is yet another Americanized version of a British show. So out of curiosity, I watched the first season of the BBC's "Worst Week of My Life." Though I haven't seen Season 2 or 3 because they are not yet available here, I am happy to report that the two shows are very different. The US version seems to be only inspired by the original, instead of a word for word remake like The Office was at first. The premise is exactly the same- likeable guy who can't do anything right exasperates his inlaws. But the plotlines have been completely different with almost no stolen gags.

Spoilers ahead...

I was expecting the British version to be even more madcap than America's but it is actually more morbid. The British version has a subplot of Howard being stalked by his ex-lover for the entire week, which eventually builds into the focal point of the last episode. The American version is significantly tamer by comparison. Instead of a co-worker stalking him, Sam had only to deal with a drunk co-worker who he dropped off at her house after she came on to him. Perhaps more will come of that, but for now, she has not been heard from again.

The accidental death of the family pet was toned down from "dog in a cement mixer" to "parakeet being poisoned." I shouldn't even have to tell you which one was funnier- you can probably deduce it from shock value alone.

All in all, both shows have their charm and I like them both equally. I can't pick one over the other- which is, I suppose, a compliment to the version that came second. They are different enough that you don't have to choose.

Worst Week: A The Worst Week of My Life: A

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


AOL threatening to delete my old journal really bugged me. I may not have written in it anymore, but I still used it for research (like what songs I used to like) or for nostalgia purposes. I'm glad that I was able to keep the archives on Blogger. I'm thinking about starting to write here again. Start over. Maybe make some new friends. I met so many people back in 2004-2005 and now it seems lately like I have nobody left. Of the dozen or so people I befriended, I have 2 left. They are 2 of my very best friends, but still, only 2? Out of all of AOL Journal-land? I want to fix this.