Saturday, October 28, 2006

LOST- Episode 52: Every Man For Himself

  Previously on LOST: Jack wondered what the Others wanted with him, Sawyer tried to fight his way out of captivity and Sun shot Colleen the Other.

  The show opens on Desmond, who is sitting on the beach watching Claire and Aaron share a moment.  He approaches her and asks if he can fix her roof.  A jealous Charlie approaches and nips this friendly offer to help in the bud. 

  In Jack's aquatic cage, the torture part of the Others' plan has begun as they have left the television and it is playing annoying old school cartoons.  Juliet enters with food and Jack starts playing with her mind.  He asks her if he should talk to Benjamin to find out what's going on.  Juliet insists that Ben is not the leader, that they make decisions together, but she is immediately undermined when Ben storms in and orders her to come with him.  The sub is back and there is a "situation."  When they leave, Jack presses his ear to the door to try and get the scoop, but it is unclear if he is able to learn anything. 

  Quick cut to the Others racing through the jungle with a bloody body on a stretcher. 

  Sawyer is woken up from his nap when his cage door swings open.  It's time for work.  Before Sawyer can provoke another beating, Danny gets a call on his radio and presumably learns of the fate of his lady love, Colleen.  Ben and the Others race by with the stretcher as Kate and Sawyer look on-apparently work is canceled today.  Kate asks what happend.  "We happened," Sawyer answers with a grin.  He says they just got their ticket out of there, which cues the creepy LOST title screen. 

  Over the break, Sawyer concocts a plan.  Every time he earns a reward, a drink of water pours from a pipe.  He's done it enough for a puddle to have collected at the cage door.  When he doesn't earn a reward, there is a jolt of electricity.  Since Picket/Danny is distracted at the moment, it shouldn't be terribly difficult for him to not notice the puddle.  Sawyer grabs him and ZAP!  Kate points out that Sawyer himself will be electrocuted too, but he says he will have the advantage of knowing it's coming.  Kate asks about Jack and Sawyer responds with the title of the episode, "It's every man for himself." 

  Sawyer flashes back to life in prison, where he was apparently a pretty good boxer.  As they head back to their cells, Sawyer asks the guy he just beat about the new guy, who is taking an unsanctioned beating from some thugs.  The guy is named Munson and he is rumored to have ripped off the government for 10 million bucks, which was never found.  Sawyer finds it intriguing that the warden keeps breaking up the fights as they make steely eye contact from afar.  Later, Sawyer talks to Munson and wonders out loud how he got such an easy prison job after only a week.  His theory is that Munson is being buttered up by the warden so that he can get his hands on the money. 

  In the present, Sawyer is pleased to see that his victim will be none other than Benry the Leader.  When Ben steps in the puddle, Sawyer grabs him and starts pusing the electro-button with a stick.  Unfortunately for the con man, Ben has taken the precaution of shutting the power off.  Then Ben kicks his ass.  When Sawyer regains consciousness, he is strapped to a table and is about to be injected in the chest with a giagantic needle.  We don't get to see the deed done before a commercial break, thank goodness.

  At the beach, Desmond approaches Paolo, the new guy just now emerging from the background.  He is launching golf balls into the ocean with the clubs Hurley found and Desmond asks if he can take one.  Paolo quips that if Des takes the five iron, which he never uses, then he won't have to go looking for it when Des dies in the jungle doing God knows what.

  When Sawyer wakes up again, he is greeted by Ben holding a caged bunny.  Ben shakes the cage repeatedly while yelling at the bunny, which eventually causes the bunny to have a heart attack and keel over.  Even funnier, stranger and sadder than I can even describe.  The point is that they have equipped Sawyer with a pacemaker which will cause his heart to explode if he overexerts himself.  It's the Others' own special way of keeping him in line.  Ben also mentions that if Saywer mentions this to Kate, they will do the same thing to her.  He straps a watch/heart rate monitor onto Sawyer's wrist and tells him to take up yoga.

  Sawyer is brought back to his cage and is immeditately put to the test.  Tom has brought Kate some new clothes to change into, and Sawyer can't stop himself from sneaking a peek as she changes.  He also raises her suspicions by not telling her what happened when he was taken.  He can't even explain why his watch is beeping at him as he pours a bucket of water over his head. 

  Sawyer flashes back to when he got a visit in prison from one of his former cons.  I think it's the one from his Long Con episode, but I'm too lazy to look it up.  Anyway, she is the one who landed him in jail by pressing charges.  She shows him a picture of a baby named Clementine and says that she is Sawyer's daughter.  She asks him to write the baby a letter, but Sawyer scoffs at both writing to a baby and the notion that he even has a daughter.

  In the present, Sawyer is still making Kate suspicious with every word.  She thinks she can squeeze through the bars at the top of her cage, but Sawyer tells her not to bother. 

  Meanwhile, Jack is hearing more scratchy voices through his broken intercom, when Juliet comes to get him.  She needs his help because Colleen is dying and he is a doctor. 

  A loud alarm sounds throughout the zoo, which prevents Kate and Sawyer from being able to make themselves heard as Jack is marched past them with a sack over his head.  Ben and the other Others are not thrilled that Juliet has brought Jack to their operating room, but she feels he is their last chance to save Colleen.  As Jack scrubs up he notices some X-rays on the wall, but Juliet tells him they are not Colleen's.  Jack goes right to work on his new patient, easily slipping back into 'doctor during a crisis' mode.  Unfortunately, there is not much he can do and it is not long before Colleen has slipped away. 

  Danny/Picket just lost his wife and this understandably puts him into a rage.  He takes out his aggression the only way he knows how lately, by beating the crap out of Sawyer.  Even though Sawyer doesn't fight back, the action is still too much for his heart and the watch starts beeping.  As Danny repeatedly punches Sawyer, he godes Kate into admitting that she loves the con man.  He then storms off, not even bothering to throw Sawyer back into his cage. 

  Back in Flashback State Pen, Sawyer has buddied up to Munson and has earned enough trust for Munson to ask for his help in moving the stolen money.  Something tells me this might be exactly what Sawyer wanted. 

  Back in his cage and still alive, Sawyer starts to clean himself up and doesn't even bother to try and figure out what motivated the beating.  Kate decides now would be a good time to try and climb out of her cage- a move Sawyer protests.  She makes it out safely and without tripping an alarm and starts to beat the lock on Sawyer's cage with a rock.  Sawyer grabs her by the arm and begs for her to leave him behind.  This is the last straw for Kate as she wonders incredulously what they did to him.  She asks for the truth for once in his life, but his only reply is that if she really loved him, she would run.  Kate replies that she only said that to put an end to the beating.  And with that emotional dagger, she climbs back into her cage to stick it out with Sawyer.  "Live together, die alone," she says, echoing Jack.

  Watching the action on Camera 5, Tom comments to Ben that Danny wants to kill Sawyer.  Ben tells him that can wait.  As for Jack, he can stew for a little longer, as well.  Jack is handcuffed to table where Colleen's dead body still lies.  Juliet enters and admits that she is a fertility doctor and has not been around death before.  She thinks she should have gotten Jack sooner, but he says it wouldn't have mattered.  Juliet wonders if he is just saying that to make her feel better, but he says he doesn't care how she feels.  Duh!  He then mentions the X-rays and thinks he has figured out why he was taken.  Someone has a tumor on their spine and Jack just happens to be a spinal surgeon. 

  At the beach, Desmond has used the golf club and some other stuff to create a contraption that Hurley thinks is pop art.  It looks more like a lightning rod to me, and soon enough, a storm begins and a bolt of lightning hits it. 

  Night has fallen at the zoo, or early morning rather, as Ben wakes Sawyer up with a "good morning".  Apparently, he wants to show him something.  Sawyer flashes back to his meeting with the warden and all is revealed.  Things can never be what they seem with James Ford.  He hands over the location of the 10 million dollars and is, in turn, a free man.  The warden asks Sawyer what he wants to do with his share and Sawyer tells him to have it put in a fund for baby Clementine, with the stipulation that she can never know where or who the money came from. 

  Whatever Ben wants to show Sawyer is really far away and quite a climb.  Sawyer's heart rate is getting dangerously close to critical mass.  They stop close to the top of the hill so Ben can show Sawyer the rabbit, alive and well.  There's no exploding pacemaker inside Sawyer after all.  What Ben finds most interesting is that threatening Kate was the real trick that kept Sawyer in line, not the threat of his own death.  Sawyer punches him in the face, but Ben keeps his cool, saying only that the rabbit is not what he wanted Sawyer to see. 

  And here's the real kicker.  The Others don't live on Crazy Island- they live on a nearby seperate island, about twice the size of Alcatraz.  That explains why they need to steal boats, take their captives to a pier and have a sub.  Sawyer is floored, realizing that even if he escapes, there is nowhere to run. 

  Next time on LOST: Locke begins his rescue mission and has more problems with Mr. Eko.             

Friday, October 27, 2006

The season so far...

  LOST recap is coming tomorrow.  I know- I'm a slacker.  Let's talk about television for a few, though.  I've done the reading so you don't have to.  Except you have to read this.  The system is flawed.

SUNDAY:  This night still belongs to ABC even with the loss of Grey's Anatomy.  Desperate Housewives has made a creative comeback, though the rumblings are getting louder that it's slipping again.  Brothers and Sisters despite the behind the scenes troubles before it even debuted has been a solid hit and holds DH's numbers better than Boston Legal ever did.  (Though doesn't build on them like Grey's did.)  FOX is happy with its comedy block, though they want to dump The War at Home which doesn't match the animated nature of the rest of the lineup.  They have hired Robert Smigel, he of SNL's TV Funhouse and Conan's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, to create a new show.  NBC is happy to be back in the football mix, but I haven't heard what they plan to do in January.  At CBS, things are solid with the "Race, Case, Trace" lineup, but Amazing Race's numbers are down from the other nights it has been on.  I don't think that show has ever been in the same time slot twice.

MONDAY:  CBS is still untouchable with its comedy line-up, even though The Class has dropped off its initial good numbers.  Might have something to do with the quality taking a nosedive.  Not that I've ever seen it in the first place.  FOX has seen Prison Break's ratings drop consistently (which is a shame!) and Vanished has already vanished to be replaced with Justice, which also sucks anyway.  I think these shows will at least hold the fort until the 24 juggernaut returns in January.  NBC has its biggest hit with Heroes (awesome show btw) but Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip has dipped way down below its premeire numbers.  The good news: NBC has ordered at least three more episodes and the show is tops among "upscale" viewers.  (+ $75,000 income).  Bad news: A rerun of the show has been replaced by Friday Night Lights this week.  Damn monkeys running the network seem to think a show about football will do well against actual football on ESPN.  Psssh!  I don't even know what ABC has on.  They've definitely saved their best crap for other nights.

TUESDAY: ABC is doing well with DancingWith the Stars.  FOX is happy with House.  Standoff will be back for at least three more episodes.  I don't really watch anything on this day so I haven't paid too much attention to what's happening.  The one show I do watch, Veronica Mars, has improved its numbers on The CW and, though they haven't said it, there's no reason why it shouldn't be bumped up to a full season instead of the 13 originally ordered.

WEDNESDAY:  The unthinkable has happened.  LOST screwed with its audience too much and has "lost" it.  It has been losing to freakin' Criminal Minds on CBS.  The upcoming three month hiatus could be catastrophic.  In other bad news, the critically acclaimed (and excellent) The Nine has been tanking (as in getting trounced by freakin' Dateline).  If they are forced to cancel it as well as the too high concept Daybreak (which slips into the LOST spot) ABC may very well end up losing the very night that began their big comeback two years ago.  On NBC, Kidnapped is already gone, relegated to Saturday to run its course, which is more dignity than most bombs get.

THURSDAY: CSI and Grey's Anatomy are having the biggest battle in years, finishing one and two every week and alternating who is on top.  William Peterson (Grissom) will be taking a break from the show in January and will be replaced by B list movie star, Liev Schreiber.  That might definitely swing things toward ABC as it's a pretty major shake up.  CBS is committed to Survivor, even though it's wearing thin and they picked up a full season of Shark, even though it hasn't found an audience.  ABC has the biggest new hit with Ugly Betty.  NBC has settled into third with Earl and The Office holding steady and ER enjoying a resurgence in ratings.  They will make a bid in November to reclaim the Must See Comedy moniker when Deal or No Deal slides out of the 9 o'clock hour to make room for 30 Rock and Scrubs.  All the comedic eggs are officially in one basket now.  FOX has The OC coming back, but other than that, they've lost the small foothold they once had on the night and have all but given up. 

FRIDAY:  CBS owns this night too, as Numbers and whatever other crap they put on continue to do well. ABC has gotten a better than expected performance from Men in Trees and it will probably make it to Season 2.  NBC has another game show hit with 1 vs. 100 and it shouldn't be long before they try to fill the gaping holes in their lineup with at least one all game-show night.

SATURDAY:  Still nothing on.  I checked.  Not even Kidnapped.  Liars! 

 

Here's this week's Top Ten:

1. Hang Me Up To Dry- Cold War Kids

2. The Pick of Destiny- Tenacious D

3. Sundress- Ben Kweller

4. Wildcat- Ratatat

5. A Pillar of Salt- The Thermals

6. Pushover- The Long Winters

7. Let Me Go- Wired All Wrong

8. Postcards From Italy- Beirut

9. Naive- The Kooks

10. I Need Some Fine Wine and You Need To Be Nicer- The Cardigans

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Are you ready for some football? ...YES! STOP ASKING ME THAT!

  I actually made it home from work last night without finding out who won the Giants game.  It doesn't take much to make me happy.

  Here's some observations: 

-Both Manning brothers won their game by the unusual score of 36-22.  A spooky coincidence just in time for Halloween.

- New Cowboys QB threw interceptions to all three facets of the Giants defense.  A tip to a linebacker, a botched screen to a defensive lineman and a bad pass to a cornerback.

- In an interview, Hank Williams said he gets asked if he is ready for some football 100 times a day.  He's done the song for 15 years.  That means he has been asked the same question 547,500 times with another 100 coming today.  He said he loves it, but he must be lying.  Right?

-----

  - Did you ever stand on your tip toes and wonder how much different your life would be if you were just a little bit taller?  Me neither.

  - You should check out Frank Caliendo's stand-up albums.  He is so much better than the five minutes he gets on Fox's football pregame.  I am convinced he can imitate anyone's voice.  It's pretty amazing.

  - Congrats to Jericho, Heroes and Shark for being picked up for a full season.  Smith, Kidnapped, Runaway, we hardly knew you.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Top Ten

Me: If you like pizza and you like pepperoni, why won't you try pepperoni pizza?

Kasey: Well you like tomatoes but you don't like salad!

 

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Sundress- Ben Kweller

2. Pushover- The Long Winters

3. A Pillar of Salt- The Thermals

4. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

5. Wildcat- Ratatat

6. Exeter, Rhode Island- Jennifer O'Connor

7. Get Myself Into It- The Rapture

8. I Need Some Fine Wine and You Need To Be Nicer- The Cardigans

9. Naive- The Kooks

10. O! Valencia- The Decemberists

LOST- Episode 51: Further Instructions

Previously on LOST: Locke's actions caused massive destruction in the hatch.

  This week's opening eyeball belongs to Locke.  He is bloody and beaten, but alive.  He finds himself lying in the jungle brush- similar to the way Jack found himself after the plane crash.  Jack didn't get to see Desmond running around naked, though.  Locke tries to say something to Des, but no words come out.  Desmond takes off without noticing Locke.  Locke stands up and almost gets nailed in the head by Mr. Eko's Jesus stick falling from the sky. 

  Locke returns to the beach and starts tearing down his tent.  Charlie tries to talk to him, but for one, Locke is pretty focused on whatever he is building and for two, Locke has gone mute.  They play a game of charades, which Charlie is not too good at, but eventually he figures out that Locke needs to speak to the island.  Okay...cue creepy LOST title screen.

  When Locke is done building his new little hut, he approaches Charlie and asks him (with paper and a marker) to stand guard.  Charlie points out that he detests Locke, but Locke pays him no mind and asks him again to guard the "sweat lodge."

  Locke flashes back to driving a pickup truck down the road in the pouring rain.  He picks up a young hitchhiker on his way to Eureka.  The man's name is Eddie and he is trying to get away to start a new life.  His mom is dead and his dad is a drunk.  Locke is almost smiling, sharing an instant bond with the stranger who, like him, has no real family.  Just as the rain stops, a police officer pulls them over.  Locke has guns in the back of the truck, but it's all legal so the cop has to let him go.  He thinks about taking Locke in for picking up a hitchhiker, but Eddie claims that Locke is his uncle.  As they get back in the truck and head off, Eddie wonders what all the guns are for.

  In the present, Locke makes sure that Charlie will stand guard one last time and heads into his little tent.  Once inside, Locke sits by a fire, eats some of his hallucinogenic paste that he gave to Boone in Season One and pours some hot water on his head.  Almost immediately, the vision begins.  Boone puts his hand on Locke's shoulder and says hi.  He has a different hairstylethan when John knew him, so we know this is some crazy dream.  Locke is still mute, but Vision-Boone can read lips and accepts Locke's apology for sacrificing him to the island.  He tells Locke that he will be able to speak when he has something worth saying.  Locke tries to stand, but his legs won't work either.  Boone points to the wheelchair sitting by the fire and tells him that he will need that.

  With a flash, they are at the airport.  As Boone wheels Locke around, he tells him that someone is in serious danger.  They begin to see the crash survivors getting ready to board the plane, only they're in bizarro world.  That is, the relationships developed on the island already exist here.  Charlie and Claire are together, but they are not the ones in danger...yet.  Sayid can take care of Jin and Sun.  Desmond can take care of himself.  There's nothing Locke can do for Jack and company...yet.  No, first Locke has to clean up his own mess.  Boone teleports to the top of an escalator and summons Locke to crawl up there.  When he does so, he sees Eko's bloody walking stick as a now bloody Boone tells him that "they've got him".  Locke returns to his tent and a polar bear jumps out at him from within the fire.  Locke is obviously startled and bolts out of the tent.  Charlie asks him what's going on and Locke is finally able to speak.  He has to save Mr. Eko.

  Locke and Charlie head through the jungle, following Eko's trail of blood drops.  Locke says that a polar bear dragged Eko away as they find Eko's cross.  Charlie rejects the notion that Locke should go on alone.  Locke, with Boone still fresh on his mind, warns Charlie that bad things happen to people who hang around with him.  This statement also triggers a flashback.  Locke has brought his new friend back to the cult-like happy family community where he now lives.  They walk past a small tent which Locke explains is a sweat lodge.  You can go in there and figure out what to do with your life.  He introduces Eddie to Mike and Jan, leaders of the cult and big Geronimo Jackson fans.  (You know, one of the obscure records found in Station Three on the island)  John then says grace and mentions how this family is better than his real one. 

  Back in the present, John and Charlie find what's left of the hatch.  It's a gigantic smoking hole in the ground.  Not even the Geronimo Jackson album survived.  There's nothing.  They move on and Locke finds some polar bear hair and a fresh kill.  They hear some roaring. so Locke tells Charlie to run.  They take off with the bad CGI/puppet head of a polar bear right on their heels.  When they stop, they hear some rustling so Locke takes out his hunting knife and throws it.  He hits the canteen that Hurley is holding up to his lips.  Close one.  Definitely worth the first "Dude..." of the season. 

  As they start walking, Hurley explains what happened on the Walt rescue mission, including the fact that "Henry" is the leader.  Locke tells Hurley to go back to camp and do what the Others instructed him to do.  Hurley is surprised, so Charlie pulls him aside and tells him about Eko and the Bear, which is a much more dangerous situation than Echo and the Bunnymen.  Of course, this only serves to frighten Hurley about the prospect of continuing on alone.

  Locke and Charlie continue to follow the trail of white hair, which leads them to a cave.  Locke flashes back to community life, which Eddie has become a full part of.  The only problem is he asks way too many questions about the secret greenhouse he must never enter.  Eddie keeps pressing about it until Locke agrees to talk to Jan and Mike.

  In the present, Locke puts mud all over himself so that the Predator can't see him and instructs Charlie to stay outside.  Then he lights his torch and enters the cave of destiny.  You just know when he chops Vader's head off, it's going to be his own face he sees inside the helmet. 

  Hurley is also continuing on his journey but is getting scared at every little noise.  "Bear, is that you?" he asks nervously.  But it's not.  It's Naked Desmond- which is more disturbing than scary.  Hurley offers him a XXXL shirt and wonders how the hatch implosion blew off Desmond's underwear.  Desmond doesn't have answers- he just woke up like that.

  In the cave, Locke proceeds cautiously, passing the time by flashing back.  He enters the greenhouse to find Mike and Jan frantically packing up all the marijuana and stolen money they can.  They are pretty mad at John for bringing Eddie the Undercover Cop into the fold.  Locke is confused even as he sees the physical evidence that he has been duped.  He says it's not too late to fix the mess and convinces Mike and Jan to not run away.   For the moment.

  Deeper in the cave, Locke finds a lot of animal bones as well as a bloodied and battered Mr. Eko.  The polar bear is there to guard his captured prey, so Locke uses hairspray to blow his torch flame into the bear's face and win the day.  He drags Eko out of the cave and gets Charlie to help carry their unconscious friend away.

  Elsewhere, Desmond explains about the failsafe key.  Hurley explains about what happened to the island when Des did that, like the big noise and bright lights.  When he mentions Jack, Desmond says not to worry because Locke is going to save them, as he mentioned in his big speech.  Hurley is confused since Locke didn't say anything like that, which makes Desmond confused as well.  Confusion abounds.

  As they carry Eko on their shoulders, Locke tells Charlie how he saw Vision-Boone and about how he was told to clean up his own mess.  This causes Locke to flash back to a the big confrontation with Eddie.  They are in the woods under the guise of going hunting, but soon Locke is pointing a gun at his former friend.  He forces Eddie to admit that Locke was the target mark because he is amenable to coercion.  Fancy words for "you're a sucker."  (Tell us something we don't know!)  John is upset, but no matter how many times he is deceived in life, he is still not a killer.  Eddie is able to walk away from the standoff as Locke just stands there with tears in his eyes, unable to pull the trigger.

  In the present, they stop to rest and Charlie goes off to get Eko some water.  Locke uses the alone time to apologize to the unconscious Eko for losing his faith in the island.  He blames himself for the capture of their friends because if he had let Eko push the button, he could have gone on the Walt mission and protected and saved them.  Eko is awake now and tells him that there is still time to protect and save them.  Charlie returns to the good news that Eko is awake, but when they turn back to him, Eko is not awake in any sense.  More island trickery. 

  They return to camp and are greeted by Claire and two people who have speaking parts, but no names yet.  Must be the names in the opening credits that I didn't recognize.  Hurley bears the bad news (no pun intended) that Jack is not coming back.  This is when Locke stands up to make his big speech about how he is going to go out and rescue them.  Hurley stares at Desmond off in the distance and is stunned into silence by the eerie premonition his new friend made.  Charlie wonders what's going on and Hurley explains it as deja vu.  I wrote this while watching the internet stream and it wants me to remind you that Deja Vu is coming soon to a theater near you. 

  Next time on LOST- It turns out that the Others are really just a bunch of hardcore Kate/Sawyer shippers who want some answers, damn it!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

LOST- Episode 50: The Glass Ballerina

  Previously on LOST: Jack, Sawyer and Kate were captured by the Others.

  The show opens with the glass ballerina of the title tumbling to the floor and shattering.  A little Asian girl runs away in horror at what she has just done.  Later, when she is done practicing the piano, her father walks in holding a trash bag of broken glass.  He questions L'il Sun about what happened and she says the maid did it.  She sticks to her guns even after Dad tells her the maid will have to be fired.

  In the present, Sun is on Desmond's boat suffering from some morning sickness.  Jin calls her above deck to translate.  He wants her to tell Sayid it's time to go home because Jack is clearly not coming.  Sayid thinks Jack can't see the smoke because of a mountain and wants to head north to light a new signal fire.  Sun agrees with Sayid which angers Jin.  He is going to sail them home because he is the only one who can sail, but Sun tells Sayid that is not true.

  In Jack's aquatic cell, Juliet brings him some soup, but he is being particularly non-responsive, probably lost in some more flashbacks we are not privy to.  Outside the cell, Juliet knocks on a door and Ben emerges from a surveillance room.  He comments that Juliet never made soup for him.  AnOther woman comes down the ladder to alert them of a situation.  The "Iraqi" found the decoy village and he has a sail boat.  Ben thinks for a moment before commanding Colleen to put a team together.  "I want that boat," he says coldly.  Cue creepy LOST title screen.

  At the zoo, Sawyer wins another fish biscuit, just cause he can, but his celebration is ended by the Others leading him and Kate out of their cages at gunpoint. 

  Over on the boat, Sun apologizes to her husband for disagreeing with him in front of Sayid, but he thinks she shouldn't have disagreed, period.  Sun flashes back to being in bed with Jae, the hotel heir/English teacher and instantly everything we think we know about Sun changes.  Forget all that stuff last season about her being true to Jin and the island making a baby by magic- turns out Sun is just a sociopathic liar.  Jae wants to run away with Sun and presents her with a pearl necklace ( um, the kind you can show on network television).  Unfortunately, they are interrupted by a knock on the door.  Sun's Daddy is here and is none too pleased with Sun's betrayal.

  Kate and Sawyer are led to a labor camp and instructed to start digging rocks out of the ground and haul them away.  The leader appears particularly grumpy and warns them not to do anything to piss him off.  Kate demands to see Jack, which earns Sawyer a shock from the stun gun.

  Back in the past, Sun's Daddy calls Jin into his office and shows him a picture of Jae.  "This man has been stealing from me," he says.  Dad wants the situation taken care of and warning will not suffice.  Jin doesn't like the implication and is forced to resign.  Dad plays a different card at that point and calls Jin his son.  He urges him to restore the family honor by avenging the shame that has been brought on them.    

  On the boat, Sayid and friends reach the dock where their friends were taken and Michael went home from.  Sayid decided this would be a good place to start the new fire.

  At the labor camp, Kate is distracted by a young girl calling to her from a hiding place in the bushes.  It is Alex Rousseau and she wants to know if Kate has seen Carl in her cage.  Kate has not, which disappoints Alex.  She tells Kate that she is wearing her dress but she can keep it.  And with that, she is gone.

  Sayid and Sun begin to build a bonfire and Sun reveals that she knows Sayid has been lying about his plans.  Sayid confesses that he believes Jack's team has been captured and he wants to lure the Others into a trap to question and/or kill them. 

  Sun flashes back to dinner with her husband.  He tells her about his day and about the meeting with her father.  Sun is just as tired of Dad's antics as Jin is and suggests that they run away.  Jin thinks Dad has the resources to find them no matter where they go.  They argue about the sacrifices it takes to be married before Jin stalks off to "deliver the message".

  In the present, Jin approaches Sayid and asks for a gun.  Sayid plays dumb, so Sun comes over to translate.  Apparently, Jin knows what is really going on because he can understand more English than they thought.  He also casually mentions that he knows Sun betrayed him.  Sayid hands over a gun, but before he can instruct Jin on how to use it, Jin has the thing locked and loaded like a pro.  Sayid then tells Sun she will be safer on the boat and reveals where the last gun is hidden on board. 

  At the work camp, Juliet tosses Sawyer a canteen, but he just dumps in on the ground with a smirk.  Still feeling rebellious, he marches over to Kate and starts frenching her.  The Others come over to break it up, but Sawyer wins the fight and gains control of a rifle.  Before he can make any more moves, Juliet appears at Kate's side with a gun pointed at her.  Forgetting momentarily that Kate is a known bad-ass who might be able to fight out of the situation, Sawyer immediately surrenders meekly.  Then he gets the hell shocked out of him. 

  Night has fallen on the jungle as Sayid and Jin lay in wait.  Inside the boat, Sun hears ominous footsteps coming from above deck.

  In the past, Jin sees his target and beats the holy hell out of Jae inside a hotel room.  Jin points a gun at Jae's head but can't go through with this deadly sin.  He angrily commands Jae to leave the country and cease to exist.  Outside, Jin gets into his car just as Jae crashes onto it in an apparent suicide.  In his hand, he is clutching the pearls he bought for Sun.

  The Others are on board Desmond's boat now and Colleen climbs down into the kitchen to find Sun pointing a gun at her.  She claims to know all about Sun and that she is not a killer, but her fatal mistake is to not stop stepping forward.  Sun shoots her right in the gut and tries to make an escape.  The fire fight alerts Sayid and Jin to what is going on.  They go racing toward the boat as it starts to pull away from the dock.  Sun rolls into the water as bullets fly at her and a horrified Jin dives in after her.  The Others escape with the boat, but that doesn't matter at the moment as husband and wife find each other in the water and embrace with relief.

  Sun flashes back to when she attended Jae's funeral from afar.  Her Dad sees her and tells her to go home to her husband.  (He was there because he did business with Jae's father)  Sun asks if he will ever tell Jin and he angrily responds that it is not his place.  In the present, Jin and Sun dry off and Jin tells her that he doesn't know what he would do without her or the baby.  Sayid apologizes for not listening to Jin in the first place.  Now they have a long walk home.

  Safely back in their zoo cages, Sawyer and Kate have a discussion about how scared most of the Others looked when Sawyer took control of the rifle.  Most of them have seen no real action, though Sawyer is convinced that the woman we know as Juliet would have killed Kate without blinking.  They make a plan to wait for a mistake and jump on it. 

  Unfortunately, they just made a mistake themselves because Ben is watching them from his surveillance room and he even has audio.  He then mosies into Jack's cell and pulls up a chair.  He is amused that a week ago he and Jack were in opposite positions but Jack is still too catatonic to find the humor.  Ben explains why he had to lie about who he was, which finally stirs Jack enough to ask what the man wants.  Ben says he wants to change Jack's perspective.  He extends his hand and introduces himself as Benjamin Linus, lifelong island resident, but Jack refuses to shake. 

  As Ben asks for something to be brought in, Jack asks about Kate and Sawyer.  "Now why Kate and Sawyer and not Sawyer and Kate?" Ben asks.  Just kidding.  He says they are fine and close.  A television of all things is wheeled into the room at that point and Ben says that if Jack cooperates, he can go home.  Jack chuckles with disbelief at the very notion of going home, as if he doesn't even believe that's where Michael and Walt went.  He wants to know why the Others would even be there if they could leave at any point.  To prove that he has contact with the outside world, Ben tells Jack that George Bush was re-elected, Christopher Reeve died and the Red Sox won the World Series.  Jack, remembering his father's old saying, really laughs at that last nonsensical notion.   That is until Ben shows him a videotape of Fox's coverage of the Red Sox actually capturing the championship.  You know, you don't have to watch LOST right now, you could be watching Fox's stellar coverage of the baseball playoffs.  As Jack is stunned into silence by what he is watching, Ben tells him that if he does what he is told when the time is right, he can go home.  Think about that, doctor!

  Next time on LOST: Locke is alive!  And so is the seldom seen security system. 

Friday, October 13, 2006

Happy Birthday you stupid, stupid journal!

-Sorry recap fans.  It's coming.  Excuse for Thursday: I didn't feel like using my whole free morning before work to do it.  Excuse for Friday: I got to the last scene and the whole thing deleted when I hit backspace.  Undo was not an option for some reason.  I will do it over tonight, when I am not so mad.

-Today is my journal's second birthday.  Hooray, journal.  Maybe that's why he deleted Lost- he knew I didn't get him anything.  (My journal is a boy.)

- I don't really have a favorite song this week so I'd thought I'd compile a list of ten electronica, dancy type songs I like.  In the order I think of them:

Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above- CSS

Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

Stalking You on Myspace- John B

Eanie Meany- Jim Noir

Get Myself Into it- The Rapture

Monster Hospital- Metric

Wildcat- Ratatat

That's only seven.  Deal with it, yo.  Captain Cranky is mad at his journal- on its birthday.  (I just took away its boyhood.  Maybe you'll think about being castrated the next time you want to delete something!)

Sunday, October 8, 2006

MONEY!

  GO CHARGERS!

Here's the current situation vis a vis me winning $250 dollars in my cousin's weekly NFL pool:

The leader has 10, I have 9.  If the Chargers win, we will both have 10.  We both picked the Denver on Monday night so the tie-breaker is the total score of Monday's game.  I picked 20 and he picked 38.   There's also 5 people who have both Sunday night and Monday night's game different than the current leader so let's just hope Baltimore doesn't win because that would just make a big fustercluck.  :-)

Saturday, October 7, 2006

Top Ten

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Smile- Lily Allen

2. Get Myself Into It- The Rapture

3. Sundress- Ben Kweller

4. Pillar of Salt- Thermals

5. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

6. The Pick of Destiny- Tenacious D

7. Chips Ahoy- The Hold Steady

8. Mr. Tough- Yo La Tengo

9. Love You in the Fall- Paul Westerberg

10. Bang Bang, You're Dead- Dirty Pretty Things

 

Captain Cranky's Quick Hits:

- How come all the really good jobs always have people performing them that you KNOW you can do a better job than?  Sports coach, TV network programmer, game show host, etc. 

- How come you can buy cordless phones and cars that beep and tell you where they are at the push of a button, but I can't get that technology installed into the TV remote?

- How about we just make it officially the Christmas season year-round.  I used to think it was ridiculous for stores to have their holiday stuff out the day after Halloween, but now they don't even wait.  At Target, the Christmas stuff is one aisle over from the Halloween stuff. 

Thursday, October 5, 2006

LOST- Episode 49: A Tale of Two Cities

  Previously on LOST: The Others did a lot of stuff to our heroes, up to and including capturing Jack, Kate and Sawyer.

  Things kick off with an old school first season-style opening eyeball.  It belongs to a woman we don't know.  She selects a CD from her collection and begins to sing along to "Downtown."  Before she can forget all her troubles, the smoke alarm goes off and she rushes to the kitchen.  Her muffins are burning and in her hurry to save them, she burns her hands and drops them all over the floor.  A friendly neighbor stops by and is surprised that there is still a man under her house working on the plumbing.  Unseen, he comments that it is a work in progress.  And then the book club begins.  For the second straight season premeire, I am left wondering if I am watching the right show.  Suddenly, the ground begins to shake and when the earthquake subsides, everyone runs outside to see what is going on.  The plumber under the house is none other than Ethan Rom and now we start to get a sense of what is going on.  The suburbanites look up to see a plane break into pieces and crash a few miles away.  The man we know as "Henry Gale" quickly instructs Ethan and Goodwin to get going for some undercover operations.  He wants lists in three days.  After the men set off, "Henry" looks at our woman, sees her holding a Stephen King book and comments that he is out of the club.  The camera pans back and shows the Others little gated community set snug amongst the deeper landscape of Crazy Island.  So the Others are desperate housewives.  Who knew?

  In case there was anyone out there who still liked Jack, our first flashback of the season is a brief one of Jack stalking his presumed ex-wife.  He watches from his car while she happily jokes around with another man.  Jack snaps out of this memory abruptly and finds himself lying on a table in a dank room.  He tries to walk to the door, but smashes into the wall of glass which is containing him.  He tries kicking and yelling, but of course, neither of those things work as far as escape plans go.

  Elsewhere, Kate awakens in a public shower and finds Tom, the beardless wonder hovering over her.  Instead of answering her questions, he instructs her to take a hot shower.  When she refuses to undress in front of him, he comments that she is not his type and leaves with a chuckle. 

  Somewhere else, Sawyer awakens on the dirty ground and finds himself in what can only be described as a cage in a zoo.  He sees a young man in the cage across from him with his back turned.  He calls to him, but gets no answer.  Turning his attention elsewhere, Sawyer sees a large red button with a knife and fork painted on it, so naturally, he decides to press it.  It makes a big racket and a recording of a woman says WARNING but there is no food.  He presses it again and the same thing happens.  The boy speaks up and warns Sawyer not to do that.  Sawyer scoffs at being told what to do, but when he presses the button a third time, he is blasted off of his feet by a shockwave.  "Told you," the boy says.

  Back in the dungeon, Jack climbs onto the table and begins to yank hard on a chain hanging from the ceiling.  A woman enters the room on the other side of the glass and tells him to stop.  Her name is Juliette.  We know her as the woman from the book club.

  Jack flashes back to a meeting with his soon to be ex-wife, Sarah.  She asks where his lawyer is and he says that he fired him.  Jack apologizes and seems ready to make amends and save the marriage.  Unfortunately, he is interrupted by Sarah's cell phone.  She takes the call and seems happy about who is on the other end.  When she is done, Jack asks who the new man is, but Sarah won't tell him.  He says she can have all of their worldly possessions in exchange for the new man's name.  Seems like a good deal, but for some reason, Sarah won't take it and walks away. 

  Back in the present, Juliette tries talking to Jack, but he is kind of angry about the situation he is in.  She has a seat and tries to wait out his stubborn chain yanking.

  Shower complete, Kate can't seem to find her clothes.  There is a note on one of the lockers that says Wear This.  Like a good little Alice in Wonderland, Kate puts on the sundress she finds inside, even though she doesn't seem to like it.  Tom comes back to tell her that "he" is waiting.  Kate is then led by Tom and an armed escort to a gazebo on the beach.  "Henry" is there waiting for her and he offers her coffee and breakfast.  Of course she has to handcuff herself pretty tightly, but other than that, it's rather pleasant.  When she asks why the Others captured her only to bathe her and feed her, "Henry" replies that he wanted her to have some nice memories to hold on to because the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant for her.

  In his office of the past, Jack tries getting to the bottom of the mystery of his wife's lover by calling every number in her cell phone.  Dear old dad enters and tells him to stop.  You know, John Terry has a good agent.  This is a pretty juicy role for a character that's been dead since the first episode.  Jack's dad has been on this show more than Walt.  Anyway, Jack calls the next number and his father's cell phone ring.  With that, Jack begins to understand why Sarah might want to protect the identity of her new man.  "Let it go," is Dad's humble advice.

  Back in the dungeon, Jack hears a lot of static coming from the intercom on the wall.  The words of the past echo through the speaker as Dad repeats that Jack should let it go.  Juliette reenters and tells Jack that the intercom hasn't worked in years.  She has brought him some officially licensed Dharma Initiative Water and a sandwich.  She instructs him to sit against the wall so she can open the door and give him the food, but Jack won't do it.  He would rather have answers than food, so he gets neither. 

  Back in the zoo, Sawyer has noted that his cage has some other buttons and levers and is trying to flex his problem solving muscles.  The boy across the way calls to him and asks him how long it would take to get back to Sawyer's camp.  Sawyer is slightly amused and continues to work on his levers.  When he turns around, the boy's cage is open and he is gone.  The boy comes over and picks Sawyer's lock as well, instructing him to run in the opposite direction as him.  With the alarm sounding, they both take off.  The first person Sawyer encounters is Juliette, who calmly takes a dart gun out of her back pocket and shoots him down.  Dazed, he is dragged back to his cage by Juliette and Tom.  Once safely locked back inside, Tom grabs the boy, who he calls Carl, by the hair and instructs him to apologize for involving Sawyer in the escape attempt. 

  Back in the dungeon, Juliette really wants Jack to eat something.  He reluctantly and wordlessly agrees to sit down against the wall so she can open the door.  Jack flashes back to the hopsital where he can't focus on his job because Dad is in his peripheral vision, taking a cell phone call and acting way too happy about who is on the other end.  Suspicious, Jack, still in his surgical scrubs, follows Dad to a hotel.  He busts into the room his father enters and demands to see the cell phone.  This really causes quite a scene at the AA meeting.  The moderator explains what is going on and that Dad has told them all about Jack, but this doesn't help.  Jack confronts Dad about Sarah, but really comes off more as a maniacal lunatic the longer this goes on.  Finally, things culminate in a physical attack which makes it officially, the best AA meeting ever!

  When the door to the dungeon opens, Jack springs up and knocks Juliette off her feet.  He takes control of her, holds a knife to her throat and demands to know the way out.  He instructs her to open a large metal door, but she insists that they will die if she does.  "Henry" stops by to back up her story.  Jack tosses her aside and decides to open it himself.  "Henry" sees this and runs for it, closing a door behind him and locking both Jack and Juliette inside.  When Jack gets his own door open, a rush of water comes flooding in and quickly overtakes everything.  Together, Jack and Juliette manage to get the door closed again and save themselves.  Then Juliette punches her captive and knocks him out. 

  Back at the zoo, Sawyer reaches through the bars and retrieves a large rock.  He uses this to hold down a button at his feet.  Then he hits the food button and throws his boot at a lever near the ceiling.  Happy music plays and the recorded woman announces a reward.  The reward is:  an officially licensed big dog biscuit shaped like a fish.  Whoo hoo!!!  Hey, it's still a reward, so Sawyer starts to eat it.  Just then, Tom leads Kate into the cage formerly occupied by Carl.  Tom is impressed that Sawyer got a fish biscuit, but comments that the bears did it in only two hours.  When he leaves, Sawyer and Kate get caught up and share some tender longing in their eyes.  Sawyer even tosses her his biscuit because that's how sweet he is on her.

  Jack wakes up in his dungeon cell, back to square one.  He has figured out that he is in a Dharma station aquarium underwater.  Juliette says it is called the Hydra but when pressed about the Dharma Initiative, she says that it was a long time ago.  Moving on, Juliette has a file in front of her which contains Jack's whole life.  She even has a copy of his father's autopsy report!  When he realizes that she really does have everything, he starts to ask about Sarah.  Juliette asks him what he wants to know.

  Jack flashes back to being released from jail because Sarah posted his bail.  She says she got a drunken call from his dad about where Jack was and came to help.  Then she abruptly walks out.  Jack follows her out the door and sees a man waiting for her across the street.  He really wants to know that man's name, but Sarah won't tell him.  What difference does it make? she would like to know.  She tells him about how drunk his dad was and adds that now he has something to fix.  And with that, the marriage is over.

  In the present, Jack asks if Sarah is happy and Julitte replies with a smile that yes, she is very happy.  Jack can no longer hold back the tears and is so broken down that Juliette can now safely bring him his food.  After she exits, she sees "Henry" waiting for her.  "Good work," he tells her.  "Thank you, Ben," is her reply.  No, thank you, Juliette!  Now I don't have to use annoying quotations for the leader.  His name is Benry Gale.  The End.

Next time on LOST: Sayid. Jin  and Sun go on the offensive to save their friends leading to Sun getting shot and killed.  Just kidding... I think.