The VCH

Vampires vs. Zombies

2009-07-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

There are not many valid reasons to watch a movie that you know heading into it is going to stink. One of those reasons (and quite possibly, the only one) is to mercilessly mock the horrible acting and the restraints of the shoestring budget. I thoroughly enjoyed "Zombie Town" because even though it was a bad movie, it was entertaining in its badness. You could tell the creators love movies and tried their best to make a good one. They just couldn't afford it and made due with what they had. They had a plot, a climax and even some backstory. Everything about the movie was bad, but they kind of knew it, which made it all the more fun.

On the other hand, there is no joy in Vampires vs. Zombies. Faced with the same budget constraints as any independent film, they chose to spend the money on a blender with no lid, threw their script into it and produced a movie that is so incomprehensibly bad, it's not even funny. First of all, [SPOILER ALERT] there is absolutely no interaction between the vampires and the zombies in a movie that is entitled VAMPIRES VS. ZOMBIES! If that's not a cardinal sin in itself, then get this- the zombies have nothing to do with the "plot" of the movie. I use plot in quotations because the things that do happen make no sense at all- but I COULD figure out that it had nothing to do with zombies. It would be like Twilight taking place in the mall from Dawn of the Dead with none of the characters ever noticing the undead running around. Even Jack and Rose eventually noticed that the Titanic was sinking. This film takes place during a zombie plague but has nothing to do with a zombie plague, except for when a character hears news about it on the radio or runs over a zombie for fun.

Even worse than the zombies being a non-factor, was the fact that the movie is boring and makes no sense. I can't even begin to explain how unexplainable this jumbled mess is. I'd be happy to try if you would like to contact me personally, but make sure you have a first aid kit for when my ears start bleeding.

Nevertheless, there are some LOL moments of low budget hilarity that I was able to glean from this brain-numbing experience, which I will now present in list form. I implore you to just take my word for it and never give this movie even a minute of your time.

-The movie's about vampires, but takes place exclusively in the daytime, where the vampires are fully functional monsters.

-There is a long (and boring) scene where the three mains are trying to hide a dead vampire they killed from a cop. [I thought something nefarious was afoot because the cop was the same lady who played one of the mastermind vampires, but in the end, I think they were just re-using an actress] Anyway, they get out of that jam without being discovered. Later, as they approach a soldier in the road, one of the girls mentions how the dead body is no big deal if its discovered because they killed in self-defense.

-The movie was made in 2004, but somehow the cellphones look like one step up from the Zack Morris special.

-One character kidnaps another and throws her in the backseat of the car where she cannot, for the life of her, open the doors to get out. Later, when it turns out to be mistaken identity, he tells her to get out of the car and she does. So either she was too panicked at first to figure out how to unlock a door, or they didn't show the guy off-screen hitting the lock button on his keychain over and over again.

-Two of the mains are traveling in an open-topped Jeep, so naturally you would not be able to hear what they were saying if they were traveling over 5 mph. What they are saying is how they will catch up to Dad in no time flat.-One girl has no less than ten dream sequences which she wakes up startled or screaming from every single time. She even wakes up from one while behind the wheel of an automobile. I guess it was fine since they were only going 5 mph.-One girl saves her companions from a vampire only to kill them both in the very next scene because she's in cahoots with another vampire. So, for one thing, why did she bother to save them? Did she want that extra sting of betrayal to send them to hell with? And secondly, the film would have been more accurately titled Vampires vs. Other Vampires On the Backdrop of a Zombie Plague.

-During one of the dream sequences, the main girl finds the bathtub filled with goo. She goes downstairs and tells dad, "There's something in the tub." Dad bolts upstairs as if he has just been told his collection of baseball cards is on fire. Next time the toilet is clogged, I'm calling 911.

Okay, that's all I can think of for now. This was much more fun to write than that movie will ever be to watch, so I guess I'm thankful for that, but overall, I'd say I now have a civic duty to make sure no one ever watches Vampires vs. Zombies on purpose. Learn from my mistakes!

As a movie: 0
As a horror movie: 1
As a zombie movie: 1 (I'd give it a 0 but there are zombies in the movie-it's just hard to tell)
As an indie movie full of unintentional comedy: 3
As a movie a horny 14 year-old boy would watch to try and see boobs: 2 (There's more vampire lesbianism than zombies, but even still, it would only be hot if you had never seen a boob before, including in the movies)

LOST- Whatever Happened, Happened

2009-04-03T09:04:00.000-07:00

Previously on LOST: Sawyer found out he had a kid, Kate befriended the mother, Sawyer jumped off the helicopter, Kate decided to unofficially adopt Aaron and, in 1977, young Ben broke Sayid out of jail only to get shot by him in return.

Things pick up right where they left off last week- Jin is stirred to consciousness by Phil calling him on the walkie. Jin knows that Sayid is heading north because he was attacked by him. That's good work. I wouldn't know which way the assailant went if I got mugged; I'd just be crying. Jin finds young Ben gravely wounded and loads the dying boy into his van.

Back at Dharmatown, Horace is rallying the troops to prepare for another attack. Jack has the audacity to question Horace's assumption that Sayid set the Dharma van on fire, which seems to ruffle the Dharma leader's feathers a little. I'm sure what's really perturbing him is that he knows there was no security breach and therefore, someone on the inside had to have helped Sayid. Meanwhile, Ben's dad asks for Kate's help getting the extinguished van dislodged from the side of the house and quickly deduces that she has no idea what she's doing. "I guess they couldn't sucker anybody into getting on that sub if they told us we were going to be greasemonkeys and janitors." They shake hands and make friends. Luckily Roger doesn't notice the strange look on Kate's face when she figures out that she just met Ben's dad. Just then, Jin returns and Roger goes running after him in a panic when he sees his boy is injured.

Kate flashes back, er, forward, uh, she thinks about when she got off the island the first time and carried out her promise to Sawyer. Pretty obviously, that promise was to check on his daughter, Clementine. Cassidy answers the door, happy to see her old friend again. The mood turns quickly, however, when Kate reveals that Sawyer sent her. Cue creepy LOST title screen.

During the commercial, Kate gets Cassidy up to speed on WHAT REALLY HAPPENED. Cassidy sees Sawyer jumping off the chopper as an act of cowardice, not heroism. She is not surprised to learn that the money Kate is trying to fork out isn't even Sawyer's. "Is it his?" she asks Kate, referring to Aaron. Cassidy can tell from Kate's practiced answer about her pregnancy that the baby is not even hers. But why would Kate trust Cassidy with the truth about the island and then lie about Aaron? "Because I have to," Kate says with a forced smile.

In '77, Horace and Sawyer check out Sayid's cell and find the janitor's keys still in the keyhole. This leaves three suspects, one of them Jack. Outside, Sawyer tells Miles to round up the O6ers and keep them under unofficial house arrest. Things are starting to spin out of control. At the infirmary, Sawyer runs into Roger and asks him for his keys, which the janitor can not produce. Case solved! A look of realization comes over Roger's face as Sawyer goes inside to get a medical update from Juliet. Juliet, the car mechanic! Why does no one question this?? Inside, Sawyer learns that Juliet can do little to help Ben- he needs a real surgeon. And Sawyer just happens to know of one!

Meanwhile, Miles informs the gang of Sawyer's house arrest plan, which Jack doesn't take kindly to. Miles laughs at Hurley's notion that they are all going to disappear because Sayid changed the future by killing Ben. Miles restates Daniel's thesis that whatever happened, happened. Hey, that's the name of this episode! Sayid always shot little Ben in 1977, they all just hadn't experienced it yet. This only leaves Hurley more confused. Sawyer bursts in and asks Jack for his help with Ben. Jack shocks everyone by refusing to help, fully prepared to let Ben just die.

Later, Kate tries to play the "he's just a boy" card, but Jack is not biting. He says he is done trying to fix everything because he was only getting in the island's way. Kate storms out of the house and "surprisingly", Miles does not make good on his earlier threat to shoot anyone who leaves in the leg. Kate then turns up at the infirmary to offer her blood as a universal donor to young Ben Linus. While Kate gives blood, Juliet asks what's going on with Kate and Jack and learns that the two used to be engaged. Roger comes in to get an update and agrees to stay with Kate while Juliet gets back to work. He reveals with very real pain and regret how Ben stole his keys to break Sayid out and get away from him. He now has to cope with how terrible a father he has been.

Back at the house, Miles is getting more and more frustrated as Hurley tries to wrap his brain around all this time travel business. Miles begs Hurley to shoot him. Hurley says Miles can't die in 1977 because then he will never come to the island 30 years later. Miles assures him that he can die because he has already experienced coming back to the island. Hurley then asks why adult Ben, while being captured and tortured in the hatch by Sayid, would not remember being shot as a kid by that exact same guy. Miles finally concedes a point to Hurley and everyone is just as confused as ever.

[My take on the whole thing, which may or may not help you: Their minds and bodies are moving in a normal, human chronology, but their life experiences are not.]

At the infirmary, Juliet sends Roger off to get more supplies, telling him that his boy is stable. She then confides to Kate that that is not exactly good enough. They begin to discuss their options and a look of sick, frustrating, gosh-darn-it-all-ness sweeps over Juliet's face. The Others can help.

Kate and Juliet load Ben into a Dharma van and Kate gets to experience the other end of the line she usually says. "I'm coming with you." Kate insists that Juliet can't come because she has too much to lose. Kate has much less of an established life in the Dharma Inititative and can more afford to go on this crazy adventure. Juliet says she will stall Sawyer as long as she can.

Back at the pivotal dock scene in Oceanic Six time, Kate finds out the plan to go back to the island and leaves in disgust. Aaron wants some milk so she takes him to the grocery store. Inside, she gets a call from Jack that she chooses to ignore, but when she turns around, her boy has disappeared! After a few panicky moments, she finds Aaron at the front of the store walking away and holding a blonde woman's hand. The woman explains that the boy looked LOST so she was taking him up front to have an announcement made. Kate thanks the woman and hugs Aaron tight.

In '77, Kate arrives at the sonic fence and gets out to check on Ben. The dying boy asks her to tell his dad he's sorry he took the keys. Kate looks terrified as another van approaches her. It is Sawyer, but he is not there to stop her. He is there to help.

Back in O6 time, Kate has returned to visit Cassidy, as apparently their friendship has been repaired and maintained over the last three years. Cassidy is also surprised that Jack and company want to go back to the island. Kate then recounts the tale of how she LOST Aaron in the store and wonders why she more than half expected him to be taken. "Because you took him," Cassidy replies. Kate says Claire was gone- she had to help the baby because he needed her. Cassidy tells her friend knowingly that Sawyer broke her heart and Kate was the one who needed Aaron.

Back in '77, Kate asks Sawyer why he is helping. He says it's because Juliet asked him to. No matter what Ben may grow up to be, they can't just let a kid die. Back at the house, Juliet dismisses Miles and Hurley so she can confront Jack in the shower. And she sees his whole con-front. She expresses her sadness and disappoinment that Jack wouldn't help her in the infirmary. She doesn't need his help, she just wants to know why he came back. Jack again spouts that Locke-esque "nonsense" about the island and purpose and destiny, even though he doesn't yet know what he's supposed to do. "Well, you better figure it out," Juliet tells him with a pained look on her face.

In the jungle, Kate tells Sawyer how she did what he asked and helped Clementine. Sawyer asks about Cassidy and Kate tells him Casssidy's theory about why he jumped. Sawyer's face says that he can't disagree with his ex's assessment of him. He tells Kate that he never could have been her boyfriend because he wasn't cut out for it at the time. Kate mentions how well he's doing with Juliet and Sawyer agrees, saying he has grown up a lot in three years. Before things can get any mushier, the two are confronted by the Others, who have their guns drawn. Sawyer demands to be taken to Richard Alpert.

Back in the future, Kate visits Claire's mother at the motel and comes clean about everything, including how she has a grandson and how Claire is still alive. Kate tells her that she is checked in with Aaron two doors down and the boy knows that his grandmother will be taking care of him. As for Kate, she is heading back to the island to find Claire. In her room later, Kate strokes Aaron's hair and cries while he sleeps. This is good-bye...probably forever.

In '77, the Others are marching their prisoners to see Richard, when he suddenly just appears like he already knew they were coming. Richard correctly identifies the hurt boy as Ben Linus, which startles Sawyer. Richard can help the boy but...

"If I take him, he's not ever going to be the same again...he'll forget this ever happened and...his innocence will be gone. He will always be one of us."

Uh, what the hell does that all mean? But, sure, go ahead and take him anyway.

Richard takes Ben in his arms and is questioned by one of his Other buddies about doing it without asking Ellie or Charles. Hmmm. Richard says he doesn't answer to them and walks away. He keeps walking until he gets to the temple, where he ominously takes young Ben through its mysterious doors.

Back in the most present of all LOST's presents, Locke watches Ben wake up from his encounter with the business end of an oar and welcomes him back to the "land of the living." Hardy har har, I thought of that one while I was creepily staring at your unconscious body! That was a good one, right?

Next time: The holes in Ben's post-island story are filled in, such as, how did he get so badly beaten! Yay!

LOST- He's Our You

2009-03-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

Turns out the island still needed me, so I'm back after two years. Let's get right into it.

Previously on LOST, young Ben Linus met a disheveled hostile named Richard in the jungle, who told him to be patient. Years later, adult Ben hired Sayid to kill all the Widmore boys who might hurt Sayid's buddies. Still later, Sayid was transported back to the island and captured as a hostile by Jin. Oh, and it's the 70's so it's not really "later" at all. Ugh!

If there's one thing we've learned about Sayid, it's that his flashbacks are boring and predictable. When he was a boy in Iraq, his brother (?) friend (?) who cares (?) was assigned to kill a chicken but the future PETA member couldn't do it. Young boy Sayid broke a chicken's neck and handed it over, but the other boy wouldn't go along with the ruse. Dad was impressed by Sayid's killer instinct and told him he would be a man.

In 1977, young Ben Linus has taken an active interest in Sayid, the hostile prisoner. Phil tries to talk him out of bringing in another sandwich since Sayid is not eating, but Ben insists. He tells Sayid the story of how he met Richard and says that if Sayid is patient, like Ben has been, then Ben can help him. Cue creepy LOST title screen.

During the Oceanic Six days, Sayid was a hired assassin and here he is again, breaking into a panicked man's apartment and shooting him dead. The attempted bribe did not work. Sayid meets Ben in a back alley and is informed that the list is complete. Assignment over. Instead of being happy, Sayid seems to take this news like a teenager being dumped. So Ben doesn't even want to go out for cake to celebrate? That's it?? Ben tells him to go live his life.

In 1977, a grim-looking Horace enters Sayid's cell with an implement of torture, but it's a fake out. He just cuts the restraints off Sayid's wrists. Horace introduces himself and asks what Sayid was doing in the jungle, but Sayid remains silent. Horace gives him an hour to decide to talk or the stakes will get higher.

Elsewhere, Sawyer finds Juliet sadly staring out their window and asks what's up? She thinks their time playing house together is over. She never thought the O6 would come back, thus implying that maybe she didn't even want them to. She is concerned that Sayid will give them all away. Sawyer assures her he has things under control, but he uses his extra sweet voice. Ya know, distract her with kindness. Because the look on his face when Horace shows up and says there's a problem with the prisoner reveals that Sawyer is far from in control. Horace wants to bring in Oldham but Sawyer is against using "that psychopath." Instead, he offers to talk to the prisoner himself...alone.

Sawyer barges into the security station and dismisses Phil from his post. And finally, Sawyer and Sayid get to have a little quality time to work out a plan. Sayid asks how Sawyer can live there with Ben and Sawyer replies that he has no choice. Sawyer enters the cell and headbutts his friend, starting a fight. Sawyer's plan is to make it look like Sayid struggled with him as Sawyer beat a confession out of him. Then they'll say that Sayid gave up intel on the hostiles in exchange for living there with them. Voila! Problem solved. Except for......

Oh yeah, Sayid doesn't like that plan. He doesn't want to live there with them in perfect Dharma harmony. He would rather just be let go. Sawyer can't do that because he is trusted and it would blow his cover. It's either join the party or be on your own. "Then I guess I'm on my own," Sayid says determinedly.

In the Dharma cafeteria, Kate asks Jack what the plan is, but what she doesn't understand is that Jack is no longer the man with the plan. This is the new "go with the flow" Jack and he is leaving everything up to Sawyer. Happily, too. Hurley mentions the other elephant in the room (that wasn't a fat joke, I swear)- the fact that Sawyer and Juliet are together now. Kate looks understandably sad. Is it too late to change my mind about getting on that flight? Oh, crap, it is!

Back at the cell, Ben's dad, the janitor, starts mopping up and makes fun of Sayid for getting caught. Ben comes in with more food for the prisoner and receives a verbal, then physical beat down from his angry father. Sayid is shocked and angry but can do nothing from behind bars except glare. Glare and think.

He thinks about when he was building houses in the Dominican Republic and Ben came by to see him. Ben tells him about the new danger. Locke is dead and there's a thug staking out Hurley's mental institute. Sayid, still feeling like the jilted lover, questions why he should help Ben again. "You're capable of things most other men aren't," Ben tells him. Sayid says he doesn't like killing people. Ben apologizes for calling him a killer. (It was a compliment, man!) Ben walks away defeated, but not really, as we and probably he knows.

Back in '77, Sawyer is back with a security team. When Sayid remains silent during his last chance, Sawyer has no choice but to stun him and order, "Take him to Oldham."

Oldham is a creepy looking loner who lives on the outskirts of Dharmatown in a teepee. Sayid asks Sawyer who he is and Sawyer replies in a whisper, "He's our you." Hey, that's the name of this episode! Sayid tries to struggle so security ties him to a tree where he is force-fed Oldham's special brand of truth serum. That smell is Sawyer's trousers.

Back at the pier in 2007, Sayid dismisses himself from Ben's O6 reunion and goes off to a bar. He meets a beautiful woman and aw, hell, I'll just skip this part because it's boring and obvious and I mean, really, didn't we go through this exact same thing in Sayid's last episode, "The Economist?" Oh, and is the mysterious Economist dead? Ben said the list was complete! What the hell? Anyway, whats-her-name seduces Sayid, kicks him in the face and says he is going to Guam to answer for the murder of the dude from the golfcourse.

In 1977, Sayid's drugs are taking effect and he loopily answers question #1. His name is Sayid Jarrah. Then the fun really begins as Sayid is forced to spill, via truth serum, how he really came to be on the island...twice! And he knows the purposes of three Dharma stations- including the Swan which hasn't been built yet! He's from the future and you're all going to die! Wheeeeee!!! Fortunately for Sawyer and everyone else we know and love, this all sounds like crazy nonsense. Oldham apologizes for using too strong a concoction. In one of the best moments of the season, a loopy and defeated Sayid laughs maniacally and says that the dose was exactly enough. I think he finally reached that Jack-like breaking point. You win, island! Let's just do what you will!

At the motor pool, apparently no one has questioned why Juliet was suddenly an expert baby deliverer and she's back to fixing Mystery Mobiles. She has a tense and overly-polite, faux-friendly conversation with Kate about how she and Sawyer are together now.

That night, Horace has a meeting in his home with all the Dharma team leaders about what to do with Sayid. Radzinsky wants to kill him. They have no choice. He knows too much. Sawyer, obviously, is against this but slowly and surely, the argument begins to favor Radzinsky. Even the reluctant and possibly benevolent Horace calls for execution when it's finally put to a vote. He turns to Sawyer, the lone "nay" vote and says that he would really like to call it unanimous. Giving in to peer pressure and self-preservation, Sawyer has no choice but to raise his hand and vote his friend dead.

Saywer's last ditch plan is to have it look like Sayid beat him up and escaped. But Sayid will not go, even in the face of execution. Sayid explains that when he woke up in the jungle and realized where he was, he felt he had no purpose left. But now he knows what it is. Sawyer thinks he's crazy for thinking his purpose is to get shot and leaves the cell in a huff.

Sawyer gets to his own doorstep, pauses and walks over to Kate's house. Oh, so it's starting already. Poor Juliet! He asks why she came back (and messed up everything!!!!!) Kate says she only knows why she came back. (LOST- proudly serving answers that don't answer anything since 2004!) Before the conversation can go further, they are distracted by the old flaming Dharma van crashing into a house and starting a massive fire trick. The fire brigade springs into action and saves the occupants of the house. Jack asks what happened and Sawyer says, "Three years and no burning buses! Ya'll are back for one day..." (and messed up everything!!!!!!) And that line cements in Sawyer the opinion that Juliet expressed earlier. They waited so long for something that they forgot why they were waiting... and maybe they didn't even want it anymore.

The burning bus, it turns out, was young Ben's plan to distract everyone so he could spring Sayid from jail. Sayid plays along and says that he has been sent to get Ben. They run off together into the jungle and I think it's safe to assume what Sayid thinks his new purpose is. Because he's boring and predicatable. Jin finds the two runaways and starts to call it in, but Sayid kicks his butt and takes his gun. Then he says, "You were right about me. I am a killer." Sayid pulls the trigger and shoots the surprised boy dead. Predictable in execution, gigantic in canonical implications!

Next time: Horace knows someone let Sayid out of his cell and Sawyer's long con starts crumbling down thanks to those damned O6ers!

Top 101 of 2008

2008-11-29T08:13:00.000-08:00

101. White Winter Hymnal- Fleet Foxes
100. Between Us & Them- Moving Units
99. Mother Mary- Foxboro Hot Tubs
98. Language City- Wolf Parade
97. Better Things- Passion Pit
96. One Month Off- Bloc Party
95. Let’s Dance To Joy Division
94. Elvis- These New Puritans
93. Sausalito- Conor Oberst
92. You! Me! Dancing!- Los Campesinos!
91. Top Drawer- Man Man
90. GfC- Albert Hammond Jr.
89. California Girls- The Magnetic Fields
88.Cath…- Death Cab For Cutie
87. Futures & Folly- Blitzen Trapper
86. The Age of the Understatement- The Last Shadow Puppets
85. While We Go Dancing- White Rabbit
84. Bathosphere- Smog
83. You Don’t Know Me- Ben Folds w/Regina Spektor
82. Working Part Time- The Henry Clay People
81. Buildings & Mountains- The Republic Tigers
80. For Emma- Bon Iver
79. Rat is Dead- CSS
78. Creeper- Islands
77. Seeing Hands- Dengue Fever
76. The Step & The Walk- The Duke Spirit
75. Alarm Clock- The Rumble Strips
74. Dawn of the Dead- Does it Offend You, Yeah?
73. New Soul- Yael Naim
72. I Will Possess Your Heart- Death Cab For Cutie
71. Shut Up and Let Me Go- The Ting Tings
70. The Kelly Affair- Be Your Own Pet
69. Sax Rohmer #1- The Mountain Goats
68. Fools -The Dodos
67. Get Better- Mates of State
66. Is There a Ghost- A Band of Horses
65. Mirando- Ratatat
64. Highways of Gold- Jaguar Love
63. Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa- Vampire Weekend
62. Keep Your Eyes Ahead- The Helio Sequence
61. Regrets a Paradise- Japanese Motors
60. A & E- Goldfrapp
59. Ghosts- Ladytron
58. Paper Planes- MIA
57. Lights & Music- Cut Copy
56. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?- She & Him
55. Hummingbird- Born Ruffians
54. Cannibal Queen- Miniature Tigers
53. Oxford Comma- Vampire Weekend
52. Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
51. The Plot- White Rabbits
50. Take Me To the Riot- Stars
49. No One’s Gonna Love You- A Band of Horses
48. Hang Them All- Tapes ’n’ Tapes
47. Balloons- Foals
46. The Beginning of the Twist- Futureheads
45. The Engine Driver- The Decemberists
44. Veni Vidi Vici- The Black Lips
43. The Nun’s Litany- The Magnetic Fields
42. Sour Cherry- The Kills
41. Lucid Dreams- Franz Ferdinand
40. Do The Panic- Phantom Planet
39. Second, Minute or Hour- Jack Penate
38. Lolita- Throw Me the Statue
37. Grounds For Divorce- Elbow
36. Publish My Love- Rogue Wave
35. My Drive-Thru- Santogold, Julian Casablancas and N.E.R.D.
34. Sentimental Heart- She & Him
33. West Coast- Coconut Records
32. A-Punk- Vampire Weekend
31. I Woke Up Today- Port O’Brien
30. Please Stop Dancing- The Magnetic Fields
29. Skinny Love- Bon Iver
28. Some Are Lakes- Land of Talk
27. Walk it Off- The Breeders
26. Lovely Allen- Holy Fuck
25. Homecoming- The Teenagers
24. Featherbeds- Oxford Collapse
23. Grip Like a Vice- The Go! Team
22. Kids- MGMT
21. Mercury- Bloc Party
20. No Sex For Ben- The Rapture
19. Rich Girls- The Virgins
18. Big Mistake- Tim Fite
17. Good to Sea- Pinback
16. That’s Not My Name- The Ting Tings
15. 2 Atoms in a Molecule- Noah & The Whale
14. Little Bit- Lykke Li
13. Rocky Took a Lover- Bell X1
12. Oh No You Didn’t!- Wojahn Bros
11. Electric Feel- MGMT
10. I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You- Black Kids
9. Handlebars- Flobots
8. Bruises- Chairlift
7. Great DJ- The Ting Tings
6. No Children- The Mountain Goats
5. Bag of Hammers- Thao Nguyen
4. Time To Pretend- MGMT
3. L.E.S. Artistes- Santogold
2. URA Fever- The Kills
1. Five Years Time- Noah and the Whale

Bullet Points

2008-11-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

I am wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up and a long-sleeved T-shirt without the sleeves rolled up. I've never seen this done and I am going to keep doing it until I see someone else doing it. I invented a style! I think. My wife says I look stupid. She may not have been referring to my clothes, though.
Regardless of the fact that I don't get NFL Network and can't watch the game anyway, I find Thursday night football utterly annoying. It's oversaturation. We don't need games on Sunday, Monday and Thursday and sometimes Saturday. I like to take all week to think about the games and who I'm going to pick. Now I have to rush my picks in because the deadline got pushed back three days for the sake one of stupid game I can't watch and don't care about! Annoying.
Yesterday on my way home from work, I saw a house fully decorated for Christmas. Lights, gigantic Santa blow-up- the works. Trying to make Christmas last four months is annoying enough when retail stores do it, but there is no commercial gain for someone to decorate their house 2 months in advance! When I used to say things like, "I can't wait for summer vacation!" my mother used to say, "You're wishing your life away!" And I think to a degree, we all do that. We look forward to things that are going to happen more than we enjoy the things that are happening now. "Why should I have to wait for something? That's boring! I'll just make it Christmas now and put up my decorations!" In that spirit, I'm totally making my Best of 2008 song list and posting it within the next week. Hey, the second week of November is practically the end of the year, right? I'm too excited about it to do any of that stupid waiting stuff.

The Worst Week

2008-10-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

My favorite new show of the TV season is "Worst Week". That show has made me LOL literally in three out of four episodes.

Since Hollywood rarely has an original thought, it was no surprise that "Worst Week" is yet another Americanized version of a British show. So out of curiosity, I watched the first season of the BBC's "Worst Week of My Life." Though I haven't seen Season 2 or 3 because they are not yet available here, I am happy to report that the two shows are very different. The US version seems to be only inspired by the original, instead of a word for word remake like The Office was at first. The premise is exactly the same- likeable guy who can't do anything right exasperates his inlaws. But the plotlines have been completely different with almost no stolen gags.

Spoilers ahead...

I was expecting the British version to be even more madcap than America's but it is actually more morbid. The British version has a subplot of Howard being stalked by his ex-lover for the entire week, which eventually builds into the focal point of the last episode. The American version is significantly tamer by comparison. Instead of a co-worker stalking him, Sam had only to deal with a drunk co-worker who he dropped off at her house after she came on to him. Perhaps more will come of that, but for now, she has not been heard from again.

The accidental death of the family pet was toned down from "dog in a cement mixer" to "parakeet being poisoned." I shouldn't even have to tell you which one was funnier- you can probably deduce it from shock value alone.

All in all, both shows have their charm and I like them both equally. I can't pick one over the other- which is, I suppose, a compliment to the version that came second. They are different enough that you don't have to choose.

Worst Week: A The Worst Week of My Life: A

Relaunch

2008-10-28T12:16:00.000-07:00

AOL threatening to delete my old journal really bugged me. I may not have written in it anymore, but I still used it for research (like what songs I used to like) or for nostalgia purposes. I'm glad that I was able to keep the archives on Blogger. I'm thinking about starting to write here again. Start over. Maybe make some new friends. I met so many people back in 2004-2005 and now it seems lately like I have nobody left. Of the dozen or so people I befriended, I have 2 left. They are 2 of my very best friends, but still, only 2? Out of all of AOL Journal-land? I want to fix this.

The New One

2007-05-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

The VCH is no more. I started a new livejournal. I hope you follow me there. If not, thanks for reading.

My new blog is here: The Blue-Collar Scholar

Also, I posted every LOST recap I have ever written into a seperate livejournal. It has all of Seasons 1 & 2 and the parts of Season 3 I completed. I really slacked off this year and for that, I apologize. All of the "coming soons" will be replaced eventually. I promise.

LOST Recap Central

See ya!

Hello

2007-04-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry to anyone who checks here everyday to see if I have posted anything. I really thought there was no one left out there.

I haven't had much opportunity to write in here because of a lot of stuff going on, but I was thinking about giving this journal up anyway. I am going to move to an internet journal very soon. My PC wouldn't open AOL for a while (and now has no net connection at all!) so I couldn't even post from the other room while my wife used the laptop. When I decide where to go, I will let you know here.

The one thing I am definitely going to do when I get enough time to do it is collect all my LOST recaps and put them in their own journal so anyone can access them at anytime. I will try to catch up on all the episodes I missed and put the whole show in order. It would be a lot easier than digging through the archives of a three year old journal looking for original airdates.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned here for further announcements. :)

The Expert

2007-03-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

Out of 321 participants, I am currently in 15th.

4 points away from 10th, which is the first spot that pays out.

I don't follow college b-ball in the slightest, yet somehow I managed to get the Final Four exactly right.

Now go Georgetown!

LOST- Episode 61: The Man From Tallahassee

2007-03-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

Previously on LOST: Locke woke up from the plane crash with the ability to walk, remembered the time his dad stole his kidney and went with Kate to rescue Jack, who actually may not want to be rescued.

Things kick off in flashback land where Mr. Locke is balder than he usually is in his memories. He is answering personal questions to some stiff office lady who is filling out a form. Locke is trying to continue getting disability benefits but is refused because he won't attend his therapy sessions. He doesn't feel they are doing anything to help his depression. Then he gets up and walks away. Fooled ya.

In the present, the Rescue Rangers are still lurking in the bushes, stunned by the sight of Jack playing football with Tom and Juliet. Kate seems particurly intrigued by J and J touching arms and walking away together. At the same time, Sayid notices that Rousseau has disappeared again. Locke pulls out his binoculars and watches Jack shake hands with a wheelchair bound Ben. "This is going to be more complicated than we thought," Locke says with a frown. Cue creepy LOST title screen.

Kate locks and loads and is ready to go in guns blazing but Sayid stops her. He and Locke agree that Jack must have a plan of some kind and that they should get to him at night when he is alone. Locke then flashes back to his lonely life full of dinners for one and TV movies. There is a knock on the door and Locke reluctantly meets a young man named Peter. Peter suspects his mom's new boyfriend is conning his mom and has followed the trail back to John Locke, who happened to donate a kidney to the man. Locke looks at the picture of the man he knows as his father, Anthony Cooper, but denies ever meeting him. He insists that the organ donation was anonymous and sends Peter packing.

In the present, night has fallen and the crew watches as Jack says good night to Juliet and enters a building alone. They split up- Sayid covering the front, Locke covering the back and Kate going in to get Jack. She finds him peacefully playing the piano and they share an awkward hello. Jack tells her to get lost, not that he's not grateful and all, but They are watching. Sure enough, the Others come busting in with guns and take Kate down. They have Sayid too. The new Danny asks who else is with them, and Kate says that they are alone. This leaves Locke free to save the day except...

...Locke is not covering the back of the house. He is in Ben's bedroom with his gun pointed straight at the leader of the Others. Ben offers to tell him where Jack is, but Locke says he is not looking for Jack. He is looking for the submarine. Ben plays dumb, but Locke sees through it, mentioning how he got the information from Mikhail right before he killed him. Alex enters the room against her father's warning and Locke grabs her. There is a knock on the door so Locke takes the girl into the closet and waits. Tom enters to inform Ben about Kate and Sayid. Tom gets his orders and leaves while Ben continues to talk to a man named Richard. (No one on this show, be they crash survivor, Other or flashback person has the same name as anyone else. Explain that mystery, writers!) Ben instructs Richard to get the man from Tallahassee. BOM BOM BOM! Locke emerges from the closet thinking that that line was some kind of code for danger, but Ben denies it. Next Locke demands that Alex go and get him Sayid's backpack.

Locke flashes back to a flower shop where he has tracked down dear old Dad shopping for flowers for his wedding. They step aside to speak in whispers. Locke reveals that he found his dad because the son came to him and is on to the scam. Locke demands that his father break the engagement and leave immediately before more people get hurt and Dad agrees to do it without so much as an argument. Yeah, cause that's how things work in all the other times we've seen this relationship.

Back in Ben's house, Ben uses his mind games to get Locke to help him into his wheelchair. Ben doesn't seem to think that Locke has any intention of using the sub to escape. He has deduced, of course correctly, that since Locke met Mikhail and found the Flame, that he must have taken some C4 with the intention to blow up the sub. A big leap in deduction, but I'll roll with it since Ben is always so all-knowingly powerful. They play the same game Mikhail played last week where Locke thinks Ben doesn't know him, but Ben reveals one tidbit after another, proving the opposite to be true. Ben even adds that he knows Locke was in a wheelchair and he knows how he ended up in it. Ben asks if it hurt. "I felt my back break. What do you think?" John answers.

Meanwhile, Kate is in the Othersville Pool Hall where she pulls her handcuffed arms around her legs to get her hands back in front of her just as Tom walks in to see her do it. Awkward! But Tom is only there to allow Jack to speak to her and leaves the two of them alone with a warning for Jack to be careful. He explains that this is where the Others live and that the kidnapped children are safe. Kate is incredulous at this patented Other 'answer without answering' and asks if he is with Them now. Jack says he is not with anybody. Kate says she didn't think he meant it when he said not come back. She kneels down in front of him and sadly takes his hands in hers. Jack tells her that he made a deal and he gets to go home first thing in the morning. Juliet interrupts the bittersweet tender moment and tells Jack that they have to go. Jack gets up and tells Kate that he will come back for her.

In the past, Locke returns to his apartment complex from doing some shopping and finds two detectives waiting for him. They ask him if he knows Peter but he denies it. They press him until he admits that Peter did come to his door but he doesn't know him. They want to know why Locke's name and number were in the boy's pocket. Locke wonders why they were going through Peter's pockets, but he pretty much knows the grim answer- Peter is dead.

In the present, Ben and Locke continue to wait for Alex. Ben says it wasn't easy to be with John in Station Six of the Dharma Initiative all that time, knowing who John was and what had happened to him, but not being able to ask about it. Locke says to ask now. Ben asks if Locke's ability to walk returned immediately upon crashing there and Locke says yes. Then Locke figures out where this is going. Ben wants to know why his own recovery is taking so darn long. Ben speculates that John is afraid to leave the island because it would mean returning to the wheelchair. Locke responds by asking for food.

Meanwhile, Sayid is chained to a swingset outside, when Alex shows up and says that Ben wants the prisoner's pack. The new Danny's name is Ryan, by the way, and he hands over the bag with little question. Sayid guesses that the girl is Alex and says so. He knew it because she looks like her mother. Alex says her mother is dead and Sayid's assertion that that is what They told her earns him a swift shot to the gut from Ryan, the new Danny.

Locke and Ben are out of the bedroom now and Locke takes some leftover chicken from the fridge. Ben, with desperation in his eyes, decides to talk John out of his plan. He claims that most of his people were recruited and are operating under the pretense that they can leave at any time and Ben needs them to believe that. Ben offers to help Locke understand the island. He tries to explain the inner workings of the island in a way that John can understand. He tells him to picture a box somewhere on the island and whatever you want to be in it can be in it when you open it up. Locke's only response is that Ben should wish for a new submarine. Har har. Ben asks why John is so angry and Locke responds that Ben's people are "cheating" by using electricity and water and guns-they don't deserve to be on the island. "How is it that you think you know this island better than I do?" Ben asks. "Because you're in the wheelchair and I'm not". Point for Locke! Circle gets the square.

Alex returns with the backpack and Locke is ready to put his plan in motion. He says that Alex will take him to the sub, despite Ben's request that it be him instead. Ben stops him from leaving with his last, last shot to stop Locke's plan. He says that the beacons and communications aren't working and once Jack leaves in the sub, it can never return, therefore making the destruction of the sub unnecessary. Locke doesn't respond to this either and heads out the door with Alex.

Outside, Alex tells Locke that all her father does is manipulate people and he is probably doing it to Locke. "He makes you think it's your idea, but it's his." They arrive at the sub and Locke lets Alex go with an apology. Watching Alex leave from the bushes is Rousseau wearing the same grim expression she always has.

Nice call back to the end of Season One with Locke staring down the long way down the submarine ladder after opening the hatch. Meanwhile, as Ben puts away the leftover chicken, Jack and Juliet enter without knocking. Jack asks for one last thing-let his friends go. Ben says that they are only there to rescue Jack so there's no need to hold them after he is gone. Ben gives his word that as soon as Jack is gone, he will let his prisoners go. Oh, Jack, you just made a sucker deal! Ben and Juliet share an emotionless good-bye, maybe partially because Ben knows he will see her again sooner rather than later.

As Jack, Juliet and their escorts reach the dock, they encounter Locke striding up the dock. He quietly surrenders and accepts his capture. Jack asks him what he is doing there and John's only answer is, "I'm sorry, Jack." KA-BOOM! Bye bye, submarine. We will miss your metallic warmth and charming ability to get us off the island.

Locke flashes back to his frantic visit to Dad's fancy apartment. He is desperate to be assured that Dad did not kill Peter. Dad claims that he is a con man, not a murderer. In fact, he's in a pickle because of this tragedy. Turns out, his bride to be called off the wedding. Locke wants to call her to make sure this is true so Dad points to the phone. Locke calls the bluff by going to the phone, so Dad has no choice but to lunge at his son and knock him out the window. Unfortunately for Locke, they are eight stories up and he takes quite the fall. I'm thinking he'll need a wheelchair. Lucky to be alive though! Worst of all was that Dad spilled his McCutcheon whiskey in the process. That stuff ain't cheap.

Locke wakes up in the hospital to learn from the detectives that Dad skipped town and could be anywhere. Case closed! Then an annoying orderly comes in to force Locke to do his physical therapy. Locke is resistant and since he still has bruises on his face, I'd say the accident was, like, yesterday and dude should give him a break. But the orderly insists and picks Locke up and sits him in his new wheelchair. "You fell eight stories and survived. I don't want to hear about what you can't do," the orderly tells him. That eventually will become Locke's mantra, but for now he just wants to sit in his wheelchair and cry.

Present day Locke is chained to a pipe and Ben and Richard enter to unlock him. Richard has turned out to be the guy who aggressively recruited Juliet. Ben tells John that he is not a cheater. He was about to let Jack leave and look bad in front of his people when out of nowhere, he got exactly what he wished for-a way out in the form of John Locke and his C4. Locke tells him not to start talking about the magic box, but Ben says he can do better and show John what came out of it. As they walk down the hall, Ben clarifies his earlier question. He wants to know if it hurt when his own father tried to kill him. Ben speculates that John destroyed the submarine because he is afraid and is in the one place where his father can never find him. Ben says Locke has a special communion with the island and he wants to help him understand it better. Any guesses what's behind Door Number 1? Why, it's dear old Dad, bound and gagged!

Next time on LOST: Somebody dies and it could be because of Sun.

LOST- Episode 60: Par Avion

2007-03-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

Previously on LOST: Kate swore to go and get Jack back from the Others, her team found an above-ground Dharma Station manned by Mikhail, who turned out to be an Other, and Desmond warned Charlie that he was going to die.

Things kick off with the now rare opening eyeball. It belongs to young Claire, who has black hair in this flashback and has just woken up in a wrecked car. She climbs out the windshield that was broken open when her mom flew threw it. Claire wails on the pavement next to her gravely injured mum.

In the present, Claire awakens from her dream to find that Charlie has been taking care of the baby and preparing a lavish breakfast for her on the beach. Claire wonders why Charlie is no longer moping around and he says he has decided to stop feeling sorry for himself and seize the day.

Deep in the jungle, the Rescue Rangers have stopped to consult the electrical grid/map that Sayid got from the Flame Station. Locke is not confident in the accuracy of the map, so Sayid sarcastically remarks that it couldn't be as infallible as the magic carvings on Eko's stick. Locke points out that the stick led them to the Flame, followed by Sayid pointing out that Locke blew up the Flame. Locke says that Sayid should have warned him about the C4 lining the basement. An actual point-counterpoint instead of everyone just shrugging their shoulders? A first for LOST in three seasons! Kate stops the bickering by asking Mikhail straight up if they are going the right way. He says yes. Locke and Rousseau agree that Mikhail is very disposable, but Kate and Sayid want to keep him alive. Kate tells everyone to just keep moving.

Back at the beach, Claire and Charlie have their breakfast interrupted before it even gets started. Desmond has emerged from the woods with a sudden great interest in what Charlie is up to. They both know what this means and begin an awkward conversation like two kids on a first date. Claire sees some birds flying off the island and over the ocean and runs off excitedly. She tells the boys that she has an idea that could get them home! Cue creepy LOST title screen.

When Claire gets back to camp, she asks Jin for his fishing nets. Sawyer finds her perkiness amusing, but stops short of calling her Barbie, since he lost the ping-pong bet andall. Claire explains her plan to catch the birds and tie herself to them so she can fly off and get help. Just kidding. Turns out the birds are tagged by scientists and she wants to send a message out into the world. Charlie seems very doubtful of her plan and is lost in thought when Claire starts bossing him around to help. He thinks it's a waste of time and walks away. Claire shoots a glance over at Desmond, who also walks away.

Claire flashes back to the hospital where she is being stitched up. A cop comes in to ask her questions about the accident. Claire had been driving the car and gets more and more defensive about her role in things. The cop says he is not blaming her, but the questions are standard procedure when there has been a fatality. Claire reminds him that her mother is still alive.

It's time for a water break in the jungle, so Kate asks Rousseau why she never asks about her daughter. Rousseau rightly points out that there is no way Alex knows who she is or that she ever cared, so what's the point of getting to know all about her? She doesn't ask because she does not want to know the answers.

When the trek continues, Kate asks Mikhail how he came to be on crazy island. Rousseau insists that everything he says will be a lie, but Mikhail seems to be a different breed of Other. Perhaps it his role in communications that has made him more open to, ya know, communication. He says he was recruited and came to the island by submarine. The Others can come and go as they please, except the "come" part ended when an electromagnetic pulse knocked out the underwater beacons that lead to the island. Kate wonders why anyone would want to come back there and Mikhail says she is not capable of understanding because she is not on "the list." Mikhail proclaims the greatness of the man who brought him and his people here, which Kate mistakenly assumes is Ben. Mikhail says that his present company is not on the list because they are flawed: angry, weak and frightened. Sayid tells him not to speak to them as if he knows them, which emits a smirk from Mikhail. Of course he doesn't know Sayid Jarrah or Kate Austen. He claims to have a memory of Locke and begins to taunt him until Rousseau interrupts because she has found something. They walk into a clearing and see giant pillars placed in a line to make what looks like an invisible fence.

At the beach, Claire, Sun and Jin have put Claire's plan into action. As Claire and Sun chop up fish to attract birds, they discuss mothers. Sun says hers would be very disappointed that Sun is doing work and married a fisherman's son because she never worked a day in her life. Claire seems saddened by the discussion and mentions how her mother WAS a librarian. Sun seems interested in the past tense, but Claire speaks no more. She flashes back to a bedside meeting with the doctor and her aunt, who doesn't seem to like Claire very much. The doctor says that Mom may never wake up but she will be well cared for in the hospital because an anonymous someone is footing the bill.

By the time Claire is done on memory lane the trap is set. Unfortunately, all the birds fly away when a gunshot rings out from nearby. Desmond apologizes and says he was hunting boar. Claire is very suspicious, especially after Desmond stammers through his reasoning for being in the vicinity. Claire thinks he doesn't want her to catch a bird at all.

Back in the jungle clearing, Sayid is very cautious about going near the invisible fence. He has noticed sensors on the sides of the pillars and thinks it's an alarm system or a trap. Mikhail says he is right, but it hasn't functioned in years. As Sayid checks the map to confirm Mikhail's claim that the fence surrounds the entire barracks, Locke puts down his bag and suddenly whips Mikhail into the fence. Mikhail says thank you, then promptly foams at the mouth and drops dead. Locke says sorry. And really, what else can you say after becoming a murderer?

After a commercial to ponder this development, Sayid and Kate have decided that they are mad at Locke. Sayid has even begun to wonder why Locke is really with them. It's not like he was exactly bosom buddies with Jack. Kate has decided that they should go over the fence and asks for the ax. Locke insists on getting it from his bag, which makes Sayid even more suspicious and lo and behold, when he opens the bag, he finds some C4. Now Locke is both a murderer and a liar, liar, pants on fire. He says you never know when C4 might come in handy, which is in the lame excuse handbook right under "It's not you, it's me'.

Backat camp, Claire has decided she is mighty angry and accuses Charlie of being up to something. He professes innocence, but Claire calls him a liar and tells him to stay away from the baby.

In the past, Claire arrives at the hospital to find that her mother is being looked at by a new doctor. It is the man we know as Christian Shepherd, Jack's dad. It seems Claire's aunt isn't too fond of him, either. Tempers flare and Claire learns that Shepherd is one paying the bills and that he is the father she was told was dead . Now we all know what that means. It means when Jack delivered Aaron, he was looking at his sister's business.

*EDIT* Amalfimama is right. Kate delivered Aaron. I'm seriously starting to worry about my formerly stellar memory.

Meanwhile, the Rescue Rangers have chopped down a tree and leaned it onto one of the pillars. It's time to climb and Kate is up first. She gingerly shimmies up the tree, drops down and is SAFE! Locke goes next and also makes it. He and Kate then take a moment to check out the dead body, man!

At the beach, Sun tells Claire she is right to be upset and the discussion leads to Claire deciding that she is going to get some answers. She flashes back to Dad visiting her at work in the Wild Chick Piercing and Tattoo Parlor. Cause she's a crazy punk with BLACK hair, so that's totally where she would work! Dad insists on a cup of coffee and then he will be gone forever. During the coffee break, Dad tells her that he visited a lot when she was younger but stopped coming around because Mom kind of resented him having another family in the States. Then he gets to the point. He wants Claire to pull the plug on Mom and knows ways to get around the law. Claire is disgusted and storms off. Dad stops her and tells her not to keep her mom alive out of guilt.

In the present, Claire has tracked Desmond to a more remote part of the coast where he climbs a rock and catches a bird. Claire is amazed, yet still kind of angry and bewildered that Desmond knew exactly where to go and what to do. Desmond points to some more rocks nearby and says that that is where Charlie fell in the water and died. BOM BOM BOM!

But of course Charlie is not quite dead yet-he is relaxing at camp. Claire approaches him and revealsthat Desmond told her everything. Charlie asks her if she believes that rubbish. Claire flashes back to a visit with her motheryears after the prior flashbacks. Mom is still comatose and hospitalized. Claire reveals to her that she is pregnant and she is going to give the baby away. Then she breaks down and apologizes for her role in the accident. Her role being a disobedient punk kid who argued with her mother and probably caused the accident on purpose.

As the sun sets at the beach, Charlie reads the note Claire has written. He says it is perfect, but I disagree since she forgot to write SEND HELP!. Charlie attaches the note to the tagged bird and sends it off.

In the jungle, Sayid returns to his friends from a bit of scouting and announces, "We're here". The gang takes a peek through the bushes and sees the suburb of Otherville complete with people biking and walking and...Jack running for his life. Kate wants to call out to him, but Sayid puts a hand out to stop her. Then they watch in horror as Jack completes his route, catches the football and spikes it for the touchdown! Tom to Jack for 6! I told you Jack and Tom were BFF! Is Jack now a card-carrying member of the Others?

Next time on LOST: The one we've all been waiting for! Locke confronts Ben, but more importantly, he flashes back to how he got in the damn wheelchair.

PS- If you see a Support John McCain ad at the top of this page, please be reminded that I have no control of the ads. I've gotten used to it for the most part, but that one struck me as a new level of wrong. The VCH has no political allegiance.

VCH Radio 3/12/07

2007-03-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

The latest audio version of my journal is now available. Hear my ten favorite songs of the week.

Plus: Remembering comedian Richard Jeni.

http://www.yousendit.com/download/T2dkcHBKYUlKV00wTVE9PQ

Still Alive

2007-02-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't updated in forever. There has just been no time for anything lately. I had to stay 2 hours late every night at work last week which put me home between 3 and 4am. This in turn made me sleep longer and have to go to work almost as soon as I got up. Saturday and Sunday I worked OT and last night I stayed an extra hour and a half. Trying to score a big paycheck does not leave much room for free time.

In addition, our wireless router was fried by my wife doing what Vonage tech support told her to. (Vonage= BAD. Use at own risk.) Plus, our DVR has gone cuckoo and decided it doesn't really care if I want to see LOST or Veronica Mars- it's not recording them! If it had a tongue, I think it would give me the raspberries. Fortunately, I can eventually watch those shows online, but that's why I missed the LOST recap yet again last week and might again this week. Here, have a delicious sucks donut.

I also haven't done an audio show in a few weeks because of snow days, school vacations, fatigue and not being able to use the laptop.

Now that I'm done crying a river, here's a few random thoughts:

-The "Company Man" episode of Heroes was freakin' awesome. Heroes is slightly better than LOST at the moment. The LOST continuous season, while great, really needs to pick up steam.

- I had the strange urge to watch Open Water 2, even though I hated Open Water 1, and I did end up liking it a lot better. The premise this time is that a group of morons forget to lower the ladder on their yacht and can't get back on the boat. It's a lot more intriguing than the first depressingly hopeless movie because this time you can see salvation right there and if they could just overcome their own stupidity, they could save themselves. It's a definite 'yell at the screen' movie.

Winter Takes Off The Kid Gloves

2007-02-16T18:31:00.000-08:00

TUESDAY: 12 hours until Death Storm '07. I have taken the day off in anticipation of the 10-20" of snow we are supposed to get come nightfall. I head to Home Depot to get an ice chopper. Actually, I head to Wal-mart first, but they didn't have any. Then I head to Home Depot, which has them right inside the front door. Time spent in HD: 1 minute. I spend all afternoon chopping ice in the driveway. I want the driveway to be flat before Death Storm '07 arrives. Unfortunately, the driveway is so long that I come nowhere near my goal. Time to hope for the best.

At 9pm, Death Storm '07 arrives. Until that point, I had been regretting taking the day off since 7 of the 10 hours I would spend at work have been fine weather-wise. As the snow falls, and fast, I no longer regret my decision.

WEDNESDAY: It snows and snows and then it snows some more. It never stops snowing. People who have died during Death Storm that I know of: 0. But that number could shoot up at anytime. (Simpsons reference) I shovel and shovel. By the time I am done shoveling, the place where I started from needs to be shoveled again. We are getting 1-3" an hour. After I am done shoveling, the landlord comes by with a snowblower.

As much as I would love to go to work, I can't because snow emergencies have been declared in every county I have to pass through. Travel bans are issued. When I call in to work, they give me a confirmation number, which has never happened before. I hope it means that they are going to pay those who couldn't come in.

THURSDAY: I call into work again, which means when I finally go back on Monday, it will have been a week since I worked. The irony is that all the shoveling I am doing is more work than what I actually do at work. My back hurts and I am exhausted and grumpy. The "good" news is that there is more snow coming tonight.

FRIDAY: Good Lord. When I head out to shovel the driveway so my wife can go to work, I see that about another foot has fallen. When will it end? Where will I put it all? I can not recall another winter in my adult life when I have shoveled snow over my head. The banks are so high that I have to cross my fingers and hope for the best when I back out of the driveway. No cars coming, no cars coming, no whammys, stop! Go!

That afternoon, Kasey wants to play outside so I decide to do as much shoveling and ice chopping as I can muster the strength to do. I am defeated. Demoralized. My back hurts and I can't do this anymore. I say I can't do this anymore out loud. Then my next door neighbor, Paul, shows up and says his buddy is coming with a plow and he'll do my driveway too. (Our driveways touch so he kind of has to.) I make a mental note to submit this to the Vatican as proof of God.

I continue to shovel so that I can get the car out of the way when I hear a KABOOM! It seems a gigantic sheet of ice with icicles still attached has just fallen off the roof. It came about 6 inches from hitting my car. (I should also mention that ice falling on Monday cracked my wife's windshield. We had it replaced and the landlord offered to take it off our rent. Nice guy.) The ice missed my car by 6 inches and ME by a foot. It was a total WHOA moment for me. I pick up the 40 or 50 pounds of the Abominable Snowman's dentures and toss them into a snowbank. As I do this, the next gigantic ice block slides off the roof and hits the spot where I had been standing during the first KABOOM! Basically, if the things had fallen in a different order, I'd be dead.

People who have died during Death Storm '07 that I know of: Still 0. Barely.

LOST- Episode 56: Flashes Before Your Eyes

2007-02-15T10:21:00.000-08:00

Previously on LOST: Desmond woke up naked in the jungle with the ability to see the future.

Welcome back to the most comprehensive LOST recap on the web. Even better than the one at Entertainment Weekly. Though I do enjoy the puns in their titles. Writing puns for EW is my dream job! Anyway...

As Desmond stands on the beach looking contemplative, Charlie and Hurley are busy raiding Sawyer’s tent. Desmond approaches and says that he needs them to come with him. They head into the jungle and find Locke and Sayid waiting for them. Locke explains that Mr. Eko is dead-that the island killed him. As characters with names and speaking parts, they need Charlie and Hurley to help keep the others calm when the news is broken on the beach. Desmond seems a little distracted as this conversation is going on. Suddenly, he bolts toward the beach without a word of explanation. Once there, he rips off his shirt and shoes and dives into the ocean. It appears there is someone else in the water. When Charlie realizes that Claire is missing, he heads for the water himself, but Des already has the job done and has pulled Claire to safety. Des performs CPR as a frantic Charlie hovers over them. As Desmond carries the revived Claire to her tent, Charlie wonders how Desmond knew. Hurley matter-of-factly states that Des can see the future...dude. Cue creepy LOST title screen.

Later, as Desmond stares at his photo of himself with his long lost love, Penelope, Claire approaches to thank him for saving her. Charlie breaks up the meeting and gives Des a menacing glare. After handing the baby off to Claire, Charlie and Hurley begin to discuss the notion that Desmond can see the future. Charlie intends to find out what happened to Des after Station Three imploded and he intends to find out by getting the Scotsman drunk.

The two buddies find Desmond on the beach and Charlie apologizes for not being more grateful to Des for saving his girlfriend. Charlie proposes they have a little party, but Desmond declines. When Desmond sees that Charlie has brought McCutcheon whiskey, he begins to laugh (a little too much) and agrees to drink up.

Cut to nightfall and the trio is clearly now wasted as they sing, naturally, drinking songs. Charlie finally gets to the point and asks Desmond straight up how he knew Claire was drowning. Des tries to play it off as good hearing, but his new buddies don’t buy it. Charlie presses, but Desmond isdone with him and starts to walk away. Charlie goes after him and calls him a coward. This sets Des off so he jumps Charlie and begins to strangle him. Desmond screams that Charlie does not want to know what happened to him.

Desmond flashes back to critical mass in Dharma Station Three. He heads underground, declares his love for Penny and turns the failsafe key. Then....

He wakes up. It seems he has taken a nasty fall while painting the flat he shares with Penelope. As Penny tends to his bumped head, Des looks around and can’t believe where he is and what is going on. He kisses Penny, hugs her close and looks confused.

Later, Desmond is dressing himself up in a suit and tie as he prepares to meet Penny’s father for a job interview. As they talk, Des becomes distracted by the microwave going off-the strange thing being that it sounds exactly like the "Time to Push the Button" countdown from his hatch days. Des explains it to Penny as deja vu, but he doesn’t look like he’s convinced himself of that.

At dear old Dad’s office, the two go over Desmond’s resume, which includes set design for the Royal Shakespeare Company, no graduation from college and no military experience. Des compliments Dad on his model boat and when Dad mentions his foundation’s race around the world, Des has a quick flash before his eyes of the circumstances that led him to Crazy Island. Dad offers Des a job, but he turns it down, asking instead for Penelope’s hand. Dad breaks out the McCutcheon whiskey and lays out some insults, the most important of them being that Des is not worthy of his alcohol or his daughter.

Outside, Desmond tears off his tie in disgust but before he can maintain his rage, he is distracted by a street minstrel playing "Wonderwall" by Oasis. Des recognizes the man (it’s Charlie), but he can’t quite put his finger on it. He asks where they have met before and has a another quick flash of the hatch implosion. Des recognizes him as Charlie, which is unimpressive since Charlie has a sign: Musical Stylings of Charlie Hieronymus Pace-Donations Accepted. Des is really flipping out and scaring people as he has more and more flashes of his life on the island. He begins to piece together that everything that is happening at thatmoment has already happened before. Desmond looks up to the heavens with exasperation right after predicting the exact moment it would start to rain.

Later, Desmond finds his friend Oliver and asks him about time travel. They head to a pub where Oliver dismisses Des as a crackpot. Des thinks he has gone back in time to live his life over again which only produces laughter from his friend. Just then, the song on the jukebox triggers Desmond’s memory of a great football comeback that’s about to happen, followed by a man barging through the door and hitting the debt-owing bartender with a cricket bat. Unfortunately for Desmond’s credibility, none of these things come to pass. Oliver tells him that there is no such thing as time travel, but since true love is just as unlikely, he should marry Penny even without her father’s approval.

After a talk with Penny upon his return home, Desmond decides that Oliver was right. The next day he enters a jewelry store with the intention of getting the best engagement ring he can find in his meager price range. But this jewelry store turns out to be Bizarro Jewelry Store. Perhaps the Jewelry Store of the Damned. The old saleswoman refuses to sell him the ring she shows him and starts spouting off about how Desmond is supposed to break Penny’s heart, enter the sailing race, crash on Crazy Island and end up pushing a button for three years before eventually turning the failsafe key. The saleswoman declares that if Desmond doesn’t do all that, then they will all die.

A stunned Desmond refuses to hand back the ring, so the old woman takes him outside for some chestnuts. She oddly points out a man walking down the street in red shoes, then takes Desmond to sit down on a bench. Desmond starts to think that none of this is really happening, that the woman is his subconscious and that there is no island. Just then, there is a construction accident and Des is horrified to see that the man in red shoes has been killed. The old woman admits that she knew it was going to happen but there was nothing she could do. Telling him would have only led him to die a different way. Kind of like Final Destination. The universe has a way of "course correcting." That man was supposed to die just as Desmond is supposed to go to the island and push the button. Desmond remains unconvinced and only asks the woman how much the ring costs.

Later, Desmond meets Penny and they stop to have their photo taken. It turns out to be the inspirational photo that Des will keep with him on the island. Seeing it seems to stir something in Desmond’s mind and suddenly he is breaking up with Penny right on the spot. He tells her they were not meantto be together. After breaking her heart, Desmond seems resolved to his destiny and chucks the ring as far as he can throw it.

Later at the pub, Desmond decides to drown his sorrows over a mistake he has made twice now. He eyes the McCutcheon but settles for the cheapest pint they’ve got. Maybe I’M the crazy one because I think the bartender might be a white-haired, British John Locke. Anyway, something amazing happens. The soccer team begins their unlikely comeback. Desmond realizes he just had the wrong night and he is really not crazy. The man Des predicted would come in arrives right on schedule. Des tries to break up the fight but takes a cricket bat to the face for his trouble. Then...

He wakes up. He is lying in the jungle and he is completely naked. He runs over to see the big hole in the ground where Station Three used to be and mutters an "Oh no." In the grass, Desmond finds his beloved photo and asks the universe if he can go back one more time and do things right. Then his life begins to flash forward to all the precognitions he has had on the island since the implosion. Finally he stops in the present, where he is choking the life out of Charlie. Hurley breaks things up as Desmond begins to cry that no matter what you do, you can’t change it. Hurley gives Charlie the cuckoo sign and they help the drunken Scotsman back to his tent.

After apologies all around, Charlie sits down to have a blunt talk with Des. He really wants to know what has been going on. Desmond explains that when he turned the key, his life flashed before his eyes. Then he was back on the island but the flashes didn’t stop. The kicker is that he wasn’t saving Claire this morning. He was saving Charlie. Charlie was supposed to drown saving Claire. Charlie was supposed to be electrocuted before Des redirected the lightning to the homemade rod. But he can’t go on forever. No matter what he does, Charlie is eventually going to die. Like soon.

Next time on LOST: Kate questions someone, presumably Carl, about what happened to the people who were taken by the Others. Speaking of them, Cindy and company show up to say hi to the still caged Jack.

LOST- Episode 55: Not in Portland

2007-02-08T09:13:00.000-08:00

LOST IS BACK! LOST IS BACK! LOST IS BACK!

Previously on LOST- Ben asked Jack to perform spinal surgery, which Jack agreed to after he saw Kate and Sawyer gettin' it on from the surveillance room. Once the surgery began, Jack staged a coup and ordered Kate to run.

Juliet is sitting on the beach and, awww, she looks sad. She leaves the beach and enters a dimly lit corridor. As she walks down the hall, Ethan greets her with a friendly hello. So this is a flashback, because Ethan is, like, you know, dead. She enters a room at the end of the hall and sits down on a bed next to a sleeping, sickly looking woman. Juliet whips out a syringe and fills it with a small bottle marked Test Sample. The woman wakes up and Juliet tells her to lift up her shirt. She then injects the drug into the woman's stomach. The woman yelps with pain and jokingly tells Juliet that she is some doctor. Juliet replies that she is not doing it as a doctor but as her sister. Juliet wants her sister, Rachel, to come live with her, but Rachel says she wants to live on the beach. Juliet opens up the curtains and says, "This is Miami! Everything is on the beach!" And the swerves just keep on coming!

In the present, Juliet watches silently as Jack is making his move in the operating room. Over at the zoo cages, Danny is distracted by Kate and Jack's radio argument, giving Sawyer the chance to attack. In the OR, Tom orders Juliet to fix the incision Jack made in Ben's kidney, but she can't do that because she is not a surgeon. Back at the zoo, Kate and Sawyer win the day but Sawyer decides to get some payback. He thrusts Danny's head into the food button in his cage three times, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot into the man's body. The pouring rain makes the shock especially bad. Kate and Sawyer lock Danny in the cage and run off.

Over in the OR, Tom asks Juliet what to do and she says to tell Danny to bring back Austen and Ford. Jack is furious and reminds her that he is going to let Ben die. Juliet almost smirks, confidently disbelieving that Jack will let a patient go. Juliet orders one of the Others to get going and adds matter-of-factly, "If you have to, kill them." Cue creepy LOST title screen.

Juliet flashes back to Miami, where she uses her key card to enter a Bio-research lab after hours. As she walks down the hall, she takes a cell phone call about an appointment for 2 o'clock the next day. Juliet enters a dark lab and begins Operation: Steal More Test Samples. Suddenly, the lights come on, so Juliet ducks into a hiding spot. A man and woman enter and begin doing the things men and women do. Bio-research labs- the ultimate aphrodisiac! Before things go too far, Juliet's cell rings again, alerting the couple to her presence. Juliet makes up a crappy excuse, then the man, Edmund, introduces Juliet to his friend as his ex-wife. As Juliet leaves, Ed asks her to turn off the lights. Oh, Zeljko Ivanek, you so good at playing a creepy sleazeball!

In the present, Juliet informs Jack of the flaw in his plan, that is, that they are on a different island, therefore making Kate and Sawyer's escape impossible. Juliet offers to negotiate for a peaceful resolution, but Jack counters with spilling the beans about Juliet secretly asking for Ben's death. Voices are raised until Tom bellows for quiet. Tom tells Juliet to get out, not because he necessarily believes Jack, but because she already admitted to not being able to do anything for Ben. As Juliet leaves, she tells Tom that Jack would never let a patient die on purpose.

Meanwhile, as Danny is rescued from the cage, Kate and Sawyer are off and running through the rainy jungle. They make it to the beach and see Crazy Island exactly where they left it, two miles away. They scramble along the beach looking for a boat, which Sawyer thinks is a fool's errand, but what else are they gonna do? Kate calls Jack on the walkie talkie and tells him about their situation. As Jack tries to put the screws to Tom, he hears gunfire. At the beach, Kate has the walkie blown right out of her hand. Danny has arrived with the cavalry and they have decided to ask questions later. Kate and Sawyer take off into the jungle, avoiding bullets at every turn. They hide, but Sawyer is out of bullets. Things look bleak until they are saved by young Alex Rousseau. She leads them into one of her hidey-holes and they watch tensely as Danny and friends pass by over their heads.

Back in the OR, Tom questions whether Juliet really asked Jack to kill Ben. Jack nods and says she will get her wish in 40 minutes. To the surprise of both men, they hear a voice. Ben is awake and talking. He asks to speak to Juliet.

In the research lab of the past, Juliet is summoned to Edmund's office. He tells her he knows what she is doing and he wants in, ethics be damned. He's not exactly asking either. More like threatening. He has a point, since with the company backing, Juliet's research turns from borderline criminal activity into scientific breakthroughs. Juliet is then given some time to think about it.

In the present, Tom finds Juliet and summons her to see Ben. Meanwhile, Kate, Sawyer and Alex emerge from hiding. Alex tells them that she has a boat and they can use it in exchange for helping her rescue her boyfriend. Sawyer correctly guesses that the boy is Carl, the kid who first occupied Kate's cage.

Over in the OR, Ben reveals that he has been able to hear what has been going on and is impressed with Jack's chess move. Juliet arrives and Ben asks to speak to her alone. Jack won't allow it but reluctantly agress after being asked nicely by a potentially dying man. Jack goes to the observation room but can't hear what Ben is saying. Even Others hate awkward silence so Tom introduces himself and informs Jack that Juliet and Ben have history. After a few moments, Juliet emerges and asks Jack to fix Ben and finish the surgery. In exchange for this, Juliet is going to help his friends escape. Jack and Tom, now BFF, share a bewildered look.

Juliet flashes back to a job interview with Mittelos Science from outside Portland. The man she has met is showing her a slideshow of how great their company is and how everyone is happy and goes on field trips. Juliet wonders why they want her and it is because she is a brilliant doctor. She even impregnated a male mouse! The man puts the offer on the table but Juliet is forced to turn it down because her bastard ex-husband would never let her go. She begins to get upset, but the man keeps pressing, asking what would get her to change his mind. Unfortunately, Juliet believes it to be nothing short of getting hit by a bus. She composes herself slightly, says she is not a leader and dismisses herself.

Back in the present, Juliet IS a leader. She marches into the surveillance room to get a bead on Kate and Sawyer. When she sees that Alex is helping them she lets out an, "Aw, hell."

Kate, Sawyer and Alex approach a Dharma station where a guard named Aldo is standing guard. Alex approaches the station with a gun pointed at Sawyer's head yelling for Aldo to open the door. Aldo falls for the trick and is easily disabled, but not before revealing to the audience that Alex believes Ben is her father. Kate threatens a confession out of Aldo that Carl is in Room 23. They race down the dark hall to find that Room 23 is a crazy reprogramming room, where Carl is strapped to a chair and being forced to watch a sensory overload of bizarre images and subliminal messages. They unhook Carl from the chair and an IV and carry him out of there.

Later, Danny is putting the boots to Aldo for being an idiot when Juliet comes to tell him that they are letting Ford and Austen go. Danny doesn't believe it, and says that Ben would rather die on the table than let them go. As Danny stalks off, Juliet flashes back to her apartment. Rachel is there with the great news that Juliet's experiment worked and she is pregnant. Later that day, Juliet finds Ed coming out of the building and tells him the news. Ed congratulates her but is visibly disappointed when he finds out she doesn't want to publish her findings. In mid-sentence he steps into the street and is HIT BY A BUS. Freaky, eh?

In the present, Jack is back to work and notices that Tom is a little squeamish about the blood. Jack asks why they didn't get Ben off the island if they could. Tom starts to respond that "ever since the sky turned purple"- but he is interrupted by Jack hitting an artery and squirting blood everywhere. This was not part of the plan and Ben could be in real trouble now.

At the beach, the gang of escapees pull Alex's boat toward the water. Unfortunately, they are busted by Danny who approaches slowly with gun drawn. Just as he is about to kill Sawyer, Juliet calls his name. When he turns, Juliet guns him down in cold blood.

Back in the OR, Jack is forced to enlist the squeamish Tom's help in order to stop Ben's bleeding. Back at the beach, Juliet sees her former prisoners off, but tells Alex that she has to stay behind. Alex says a tearful good-bye to a still dazed Carl. Then Juliet reminds Kate of Jack's order. In the OR, Jack still doesn't have things under control but forces Tom to hold the walkie talkie up to him. As Kate recounts the tale Jack told them at their first meeting-a tale remarkably similar to what Jack is going through now- Jack finds his courage and ability and is able to finish the task at hand. When the story is done, Jack orders Kate to leave and never come back for him. Kate cries as the walkie is shut off and Sawyer reminds her that they have to go.

Later, the surgery is complete and Jack waits for whatever is next from the observation window. Juliet approaches and Jack asks her what Ben said to her. She tries to blow it off, but Jack insists that she owes him an answer after everything that has happened. Juliet flashes back to identifying her ex-husband at the morgue. After being left alone, she is consoled by the dude from Portland, as well as by Ethan, who Juliet vaguely recognizes. Juliet is slightly aghast that she got exactly what she had wished for in a weak moment, but the two men dismiss her puzzlement and offer her the job, which actually is kind of Not in Portland.

After snapping out of her thoughts, Juliet answers Jack's question and tells him exactly how many years, months and days she has been on the island. "He said that if I let him live and that I helped you, that he would finally let me go home."

Next time on the non-stop season of 24, I mean LOST!

Claire wonders what the hell is going on with Desmond and Kate breaks her promise to Jack by coming back to Othersville with a whole bunch of Locke and Sayid action at her side.

VCH Radio 2/2/07

2007-02-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

A new episode of VCH Radio is now available for your enjoyment.

A brand new Top Ten Countdown, plus hear what I sound like with my head stuffed up! LOL

YouSendIt: The Leader in File Delivery.

Sick! Sick in the head!

2007-01-29T09:19:00.000-08:00

-No audio show last week. 1) I was and still am suffering from a bad head cold. 2) Just never seemed to have any free time last week. Either my wife called in sick, my sister-in-law cut class or my brother came to visit. Never had time to plan the show, let alone record it. Fortunately, this may only disappoint a minimum of three people, one of them being myself.

-Monday has now usurped Thursday as the go-to night on TV. My plate is loaded on Tuesday morning with Prison Break, 24, Heroes and Studio 60.

- Two movie recommendations. The first is Idiocracy (2006). A comedy from Mike Judge, creator of Beavis and Butthead and cult classic Office Space. This film got a suck-ass "limited release" rivaled only by Project Greenlight's Feast, but it wasn't buried because it was a bad movie, that's for sure. It's about how an average Joe from today Rip Van Winkle's himself to the year 2505 to find that America has been dumbed down to the lowest common denominator and he is now the smartest man alive. It is hilarious and not to mention something to think about. How far can commercialism, casual swearing and just plain stupidity go? The future world presented in Idiocracy may not be too far-fetched. Grade: A

The second recommendation is The Wicker Man (2006). Nicolas Cage plays a traffic cop summoned to help find a missing girl on a mysterious island inhabited by a matriarchal cult. Premise- interesting. Trailer- intriguing. Box cover- creepy. Film- HORRIBLE. Everything about this movie doesn't work and most surprsing of all is the terrible acting pooped onto the screen by the normally reliable Cage. ( I was thinking about it before the nominations, but he earned a well-deserved Golden Raspberry for this garbage, which I whole-heartedly endorse.) So why am I recommending the movie then? Because it crosses that oh so wonderful line. Yes, it's so bad that it's good. The last half hour is a goldmine of unintentional comedy. If you don't mind the "surprise" ending being spoiled, you can sample the high/lowlights on Youtube: YouTube - Best Scenes From "The Wicker Man"

Grade as a thrilller: D as unintentional comedy: B+

Needs More Survey!

2007-01-21T10:07:00.000-08:00

1. Do you drink milk? With cereal or cake. I like chocolate milk a lot.

2. Do you prefer apple or orange juice? I like both. No preference

3. Do your computer speakers plug into the back of your computer or your monitor? Back of the desktop. On the laptop, sound plays like magic.

4. How many clocks are in your house? 6. 2 alarm clocks, 2 cable boxes, oven, microwave

5. How about the room you're in right now? Yeah, how about it? WOW!

6. How often do you check your email? Obsessively.

7. Do you live by yourself? I'm the man of the house.

8. What's the most you've ever won on a scratcher? Never gotten anything from a backscratcher.

9. What's the nearest food to you right now? A tie for everything in the kitchen.

11. Do you know what a plecostamous is? a fish.

12. Have you ever watched a sunrise rise over the ocean? No

13. How many messages are in your inbox/outbox on your phone? I'm not in charge of that, but i think none.

14. Do you prefer wooden or mechanical pencils? Wood, oh yeah. Wood.

15. What's on your feet right now? Socks

16. Do you have one best friend, or a lotta good friends?... Both online, none in the real world.

17. Snapple or SoBe? I don't even know what SoBe is, so Snapple

18. Where do you buy birthday/christmas cards? I don't. Hallmark is the DEVIL

19. What's your take on "puppy love"? Bestiality is against the law.

20. Do you enjoy breaking hearts? No, BUT I CAN'T HELP IT!

21. What date/time was the last text you recieved? No comment, detective.

22. When's the last time you sent a text? I want a lawyer.

23. Do you believe there is only one "right" religion? Yes, and all non-Catholics are obviously in hell.

24. What's your favorite planet, besides this one?   Planet Hollywood

25. Does anything special happen for you on March 15th?   Everyone comes over to my house for my famous Ides of March party where we reenact the fall of Caesar and get drunk.

26. If you could get back in touch with one person you've lost touch with, who would it be? Wow just one?   A guy named Bill in college was the closest I ever came to having an honest to God friend.

27. What type of internet connection do you use? Cable

28. Do you vote for city-related issues?   I vote against everything.

29. Do you say 'ya'll', 'you guys', 'dudes', or something else when addressing more than one friend at a time?    Short answer: No

30. Would you want marijuana legalized if it meant alcohol would be illegal? Ohh, so provocative I forgot to answer.

31. Have you ever been to the Vatican? Yes, if by "the Vatican", you mean "Wal-mart".

32. Have you ever waved at someone who was waving at you, only to realize they were waving at someone else? I sincerely doubt it.

33. What did you do? I can't tell you and I'm still waiting on that lawyer.

34. How many remote controls are in your house, and what are they for? Actually, today is the two week anniversary of one of our cable remotes being missing. We have three remotes, but only 2 reporting for duty lately.

35. Do you mainly use your house phone or your cell phone? I use anything
36. How many 2005 calenders are in your house?   None, how old is this?

37. Do you take baths or showers?   Yes I do.

38. Do you take quizzes in magazines? Only in Kitchen and Bath Design News

40. Do you buy bananas when they're green so they won't go bad as fast?   I don't buy bananas at all.

41. Do you do anything for a bad sunburn? I don't get one in the first place.

42. Do you use mouthwash?    Water

43. What noises reach your ears right now?   The DVD my daughter is watching

45. Have you ever been to a national park?   Lawyer stuck in traffic.

46. How old are your parents? I don't know. 50 or 60 something

47. Does anyone have the keys to your heart?   I'm not a robot.

48. Have you ever had to run for your life?   Greg and I ran for our lives when we thought we were about to be kidnapped.

49. Is there an empty place in your heart?   I can't see inside my body.

50. Have you ever been to a family reunion? No

51. Have you ever scraped a pipe?   No, but I have scraped metal barriers at work occasionally..

52. Do you prepare soup in the microwave or on the stove?   Stove!

53. Is it sunny out right now? yeah, but not enough to melt the snow

54. Do you have a catnip plant in your house? Hidden under the bed.

55. Do you use surge protectors? Yes, they protect my surges.

56. Do you pay attention to the stock market? Not at all.

57. Do you take precautions against the West Nile Virus? I don't even take precautions from Eastern viruses.

58. Do you meditate? That's personal.

59. If your lover cheated on you and profusely apologized, would you accept them back into your life?   it's never come up.

60. Do you eat carbs?   only if they're in food.

61. If you could be one animal for the rest of your life, what would you pick? i wouldnt want that

62. Are you the kinda person who will search the entire room for the remote because you don't wanna change it on the TV?   Nooooo...
63. Has your insurance gone up because of something on your DMV record? Nah

64. Have you ever gone too work/school drunk? I've never consumed any alcoholic beverage.

65. Is it all about YOU?   Not ever.

66. Are you allergic to any insect bites?    Not so far.

67. Are you allergic to any kind of food/medicine?    Nah

68. Have you ever swam in Lake Tahoe? No. Have you?

69. If you could hug one person right now, who would it be?    Sir Thomas Crapper
70. Are you in debt? Not too badly

71. When you say "often" do you pronounce the "T" or leave it silent?   How dare you ask me that.

72. If you could have a plane ticket to anywhere right now, where would you go? Uhhh, London. Why not
74. How many pairs of socks do you own?   Pervert.

75. How often do you do laundry?   Whenever I need to.

76. What do you think of Arnold Schwarzenegger?   I don't.

77. Do you own your own car, pink slip and all?   No
78. Has anyone ever given you jewelery on Christmas? I'm a boy.

79. Do you count down the days till anything?   Til the work week is over.

20 Things That Start With K

2007-01-21T09:29:00.000-08:00

Scoured the myspace bulletin board for some bitchin' fun surveys to fill out.

Yes, I am 30.

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question. You can't use the same word more than once.

1. Actor/actress: Kevin James/ Kim Fields

2. 4 letter word: KILL

3. Street name: Kennedy

4. Color: Kiwi

5. Gift/presents: King's ransom in Tootsie Pops

6. Vehicle: KIA

7. Tropical Location: Kuwait

8. College Major: Knitting

9. Dairy Product: Kentucky Bourbon...with milk

10. Thing in a Souvenir Shop: Kaleidoscope (sp?)

11. Boy Name: Kirk

12. Girl Name: Kandi

13. Movie Title: Karate Kid III

14. Beer: Killians ?

15. Occupation: King

16. Flower: Karnation

17. Celebrity: Ken Jennings

18. Magazine: Kitchen and Bath Design News

19. U.S. City: Kansas City

20. Band: The Kooks

The Office Quotes "The Return: Producer's Cut"

2007-01-19T10:39:00.000-08:00

Jim: I miss Dwight. Congratulations, Universe. You win.

---

Michael (admiring Oscar's new car): How many pesos that set you back?

Oscar: It's a company lease. From the settlement. After you kissed me.

Michael: Well, that's how this company takes care of its employees. We settle and we settle high.

---

Kevin: Hi, Oscar. How was your gay-cation?

Oscar: That's very funny, Kevin.

Kevin: Yeah, I thought of that, like, two seconds after you left.

---

Oscar: Hey, where's Dwight?

Creed: Oh, you didn't hear? Decapitated! Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.

Jim: Pretty sure none of that's real.

(Oh, but it is, Jim! LOL But it was Truck, not Dwight.)

Creed: You're not real, man!

---

Michael: (about Andy) He's always up in my bidness, which is ebonics for being in my face, annoying the bejezzus out of me. I just don't understand how someone could have so little self-awareness.

---

Michael (to Oscar): Your gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you, to me. And we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyliss, I want you to go find some firecrackers ...and a...chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section, Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga.

Oscar: Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office?

Michael: Ahhh, of course. A burro. If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.

---

Karen: ... I've inherited 15 new clients from Dwight and each file is password protected with a different mythical creature so...

---

Jim: Hey, Ryan, you wanna pull a prank on Andy?

Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again ten years ago.

Jim: I liked you better as a temp.

Ryan: Me too.

---

Andy (singing): In your head! In your head! Zombie-e-e-e-e-e!

Jim: Would you like to pull a prank on Andy?

Pam: I'm kind of in the middle of- Yes please!

---

Kelly: So how much do you love Lance Bass now?

Oscar: I don't know who that is.

Kelly: You don't know who Lance Bass is? Only one of the five best singers ever and ...gay!

Oscar: I've never heard of him.

Kelly: You really need to learn more about your culture.

---

Michael: I don't want someone sucking up to me because they think it will help their career. I want someone sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.

---

Andy: So Michael had a little talk with corporate and they decided to send me to management training. Anger management technically, but still, management material.

VCH Radio 1/19/07 +the complete 24 Death Watch

2007-01-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

http://www.yousendit.com/download/SGxUdli1oxN5TA%3D%3D

Feeling better today, thanks. I accidentally hadn't deleted my aborted show from Wednesday and let me tell you, I sounded like I had just gotten my ass kicked by a gang of overzealous midgets. Like the kind of beating that not only beats you but makes you feel like a loser and saps your will to live. But two days later, I am nearly fine and the show is completely done. Clocking in at a crisp 1 hour and 5 minutes, you will hear this week:

- My ten favorite songs at the moment.

- A few of my lame impressions (as I gain confidence on the mic, I am letting loose with more silliness)

- The all-important return dates for all the most important television shows.

- And more...

And for those who didn't hear it at the time, here is the complete and revised 24 Death Watch List. Some I didn't mention on the show because it was running long and some I added after I saw the show and learned some of the new characters:

0% (chance of dying) - President Wayne Palmer

5%- Jack Bauer

10%- Chloe O'Brian

15%- Mike Novick

20%- Seceretary of Defense James Heller

25%- Kim Bauer

30%- Bill Buchanan

35%- Karen Hayes-Buchanan

40%- Sandra Palmer

45%- Martha Logan

50% - Audrey Raines

55%- Peter MacNichol's character- the presidential advisor

60%- Curtis Manning XXXXXXX DECEASED!

65%- The leader of the Chinese abductors of Jack

70%- Agent Aaron Pierce

75%- Charles Logan

80%- Sandra Palmer's boyfriend

85%- Morris O'Brian

90%- Graham (leader of the conspiracy)

95%- Chinese guards/terrorists (didn't realize Jack would be out of China already, so I amended it to "terrorists")

100%- "Bomb victim" (as listed in the cast)

Radio show postponed

2007-01-17T07:43:00.000-08:00

I just tried to record a new show, but since this is also the day I have to go back to work, all I could do was sit there while the music was playing and think about my sore mouth. My sore mouth in a world without Vicodin. I have a show all prepared, but it will have to wait until my face is not throbbing!

See you tomorrow.

Tooth saga

2007-01-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

(watching a commercial for some new show)

Keri: They should make a really great show, then never advertize it and see what happens.

Me: It was called Arrested Development.

----

Right now, I keep spitting blood and my lips are all red. I look like a vampire. Or Jack Bauer after escaping captivity. But let's start at the beginning.

Saturday I woke up in excruciating pain. One of my teeth was throbbing like crazy and would not stop hurting. This is the kind of pain that almost makes me crazy and/or brings me to tears. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing worse than a toothache. Sometimes a toothace is just one of the symptoms I get when I'm coming down with a cold. Several times I've had them, even bad like this one, and they have gone away. But this was a persistent sucker and we were forced to take advantage of our dentist's emergency hotline that night. This is apparently just his cellphone. I couldn't believe we could just call up the dentist and talk to him, but that's what happened.

There was some confusion as to what Eckerd he called in a prescription to, but we made it to the right one with ten minutes to spare. All day yesterday I had to take an antibiotic every 8 hours and alternate between Vicodin and wicked strong Ibuprofen every 3 hours. Even the glorious, habit-forming dizzy high of painkillers wasn't enough to mask the toothache so I spent all day yesterday loopy, yet still in pain. Not fun. But at least the Patriots won. That means we get another chapter in the Colts-Pats saga, my second favorite team is still alive, I won five bucks at work and my wife took a 1 game lead in our family pool. The Patriots winning was very good indeed.

In the middle of the night, I had a dream about a high-pitched humming noise I could not get to shut off. I beat the shit out of a stereo with a baseball bat but the noise would not stop. Then I woke up and realized the noise was real. My wife had left the TV on and it was emitting a loud test pattern noise. I laughed and went back to sleep after shutting it off.

This morning, the toothache woke me up. Can't take painkillers while you're asleep! I drugged up and went back to sleep. When I woke up at a more reasonable hour, I called the dentist and they fit me in at 11. I waited a long time, not in the waiting room but once I got into the chair. Then we all waited a long time for the double shot of novocaine to take effect. Then the doctor pulled the roots out in less than 5 minutes. I had my mp3 player with me and the whole procedure once it got going took the same amount of time it takes to listen to We Used To Be Friends, by the Dandy Warhols.

When I got out of there, I had gauze jammed in my mouth and I wa shaking like a leaf. Having things pulled is very invasive. I am spitting blood now and dreading what this is going to feel like when the 'caine wears off. I anticipate a continuing need for the Vicodin and am about to call in sick to work. All I want to do now is rest. My stomach is growling like crazy but I don't think I will be able to eat today.

The end.

VCH Radio 1/10/07

2007-01-10T09:35:00.000-08:00

It's a very special episode of VCH Radio that everyone is sure to enjoy. This week's theme is "songs from commercials". Find out who sings that song you get stuck in your head that forces you to head to the store immediately to buy the advertised product. All that and more at a lean 1:06.

Download the show here: http://www.yousendit.com/download/JjuSet6cbWx5TA%3D%3D

Oh, and PLEASE leave a comment here if you listened. I will mention everyone by name on next week's show.

VCH Radio 1/4/07

2007-01-04T08:59:00.000-08:00

The latest episode of VCH Radio is ready for your enjoyment.

Download it here: http://www.yousendit.com/download/LFNIt5aI4oB5TA%3D%3D

This week you will hear:

- My ten favorite songs of the moment- in countdown form!

- The brink of a nervous breakdown as I become overly frustrated by my own ability to talk!

- Breaking entertainment news as of January 4th!

- Plus, the highlight of the week, ie, the thing I worked the hardest to prepare- The 24 Death Watch. Find out the likelihood that your favorite character is going to die on 24 this season!

Later!

Happy New Year

2007-01-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

Like my original title? I bet I'm the only person in all of AOL Journal Land who named an entry Happy New Year. I came up with that all on my own, too.

Sorry I haven't been around. You know how it is during the holidays. I was all set to record a new audio show, but right now the dishwasher is running too much interference. I promise there will be a new episode of VCH Radio on Thursday or Friday. Probably Thursday.

In case you missed the last show, my ten favorite songs of the year were:

10. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

9. Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

8. Song With a Mission- The Sounds

7. LDN- Lily Allen

6. Your Ex-Lover is Dead- Stars

5. Connecticut's For F*cking- Jesus H. Christ and the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse

4. Skeleton Key- Margot and the Nuclear So and So's

3. Mr. November- The National

2. Crazy- Gnarls Barkley

1. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

See you on Thursday!

Kasey

2006-12-22T20:34:00.000-08:00

YouSendIt to the rescue!

2006-12-22T19:05:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to tell you that I found a reasonably priced (free) website that will host my rather large VCH Radio files. Go there, download and enjoy me.

Sometime within the next 7 days. Better do it now just to be safe. :)

http://www.yousendit.com/download/25ktWaxXwLh5TA%3D%3D

"VCH Radio" Status Update (+#11)

2006-12-22T08:09:00.000-08:00

I'm officially an idiot. I forgot about the space limitations of sending files through e-mail. Yesterday I recorded a wonderful program that I thought was really great. I was witty and somewhat engaging and the whole thing came out better than expected. I really enjoyed doing it and listening to myself. The problem is that it was an hour and fifteen minutes and the size of the file came in at a whopping 34MB. After AOL mail failed me, I searched around to try and find if another mail service has a bigger capacity, but AOL is in actuality quite a bit larger than most. Our Time Warner mail service only allows a transfer of 10MB, same with Yahoo, while AOL allows 16.

I tried compressing the show into a zip file, but that only knocked it down to 31MB. I tried splitting the recording into two or three parts but I don't know if or how you can do that once the recording is complete. You can split it while you're recording, but I don't know if you can do it after, so that was no help either.

There are options. There are services out there that offer ways to send large files to people or at least allows you to post the file, give people a password and have them pick it up at the site. The free version of this only allows three downloads per file, however. You have to pay 3 dollars a month for unlimited. With the tepid response I got to the introduction of my show, I don't think this is worth it. Clearly, I only have two readers to begin with. I can't tell you how disappointed I was to get home from work the last two days and have no mail.

Option 2 is probably the way I will go even though I don't want to. That would be to cut the show down to a half hour or so. The first half hour I recorded as a test run came in at 13.3MB, which is within AOL's capacity to send by mail.

It's just a shame that no one will be able to hear the program I recorded yesterday because it was really fun and funny (I actually made myself laugh as I listened back to it.) If there is anyone out there lurking in the shadows, please join my mailing list and expand my audience so I can justify joining a large file transfer program!

----

I am so crestfallen right now that I barely have the enthusiasm to tell you that #11 is Snakes on a Plane by Cobra Starship. I'm not going to upload it because I've done it twice in this journal already and you know what it sounds like from that. :-P

God, I'm in a bad mood.

The Best of 2006-#12 PLUS Some Exciting News

2006-12-20T06:44:00.000-08:00

#12 is How We Operate by Gomez.

One of the reasons I wanted an mp3 player for Christmas (which I got early- thank you, dated rebate) is because I really wanted to make some kind of podcast where I can act as my own DJ and play music. Yesterday, I gave it a shot and I think it turned out better than I expected, considering the primitive nature of what I did. I used the microphone option on the mp3 player, which can record up to 10 hours at once and I just talked into it naturally. Then when I wanted to play a song, I kept very quiet and held the player up to the laptop speakers. And I was satisfied with the results. I even have learned to not hate the sound of my own voice. So not only is it a great Christmas present for what it is, it also has built my self-esteem up a little. :)

So here's what I'm gonna do. The BIG NEWS. I am going to start the audio version of this journal. "VCH Radio" if you will. What I want to do, and this is very important so pay attention, is start a mailing list. I initially wondered how I was going to post an audio entry in here because I don't know how or if this even has the capacity for that. Then the light bulb went off last night at work. I'm recording my show as an mp3 file, so I can just e-mail it to anyone who wants to hear it. Then you can simply download it out of your mailbox instead of having to come to the site to get it. So that's what I'm going to do.

My e-mail is CaptHappyv2@aol.com. If you would like to subscribe to the free audio version of this journal, drop me a line and I will add you to my address book Listeners category. The first episode is in the can and can be sent to you post haste! Even if you don't like my music, you can very easily fast forward past it and just listen to me talk. I amuse myself and am full of fun and information, plus my hoarseness is pretty sexy. I think you will enjoy it.

PS- I won't be wasting any more space in this journal with the countdown after tomorrow and I won't be messing around with failed uploads anymore. The second episode of VCH Radio will be the Top Ten of 2006. Whoo hoo! Hope to hear from you. Yes, you. In the pajamas.

The Best of 2006- #13

2006-12-20T05:56:00.000-08:00

#13 on the Best of 2006 Countdown is Alive With the Glory of Love by Say Anything.

I have news I am very excited about and it involves me, this journal and my early Christmas present. I will have full details in the next entry which is coming up as soon as I'm done writing this one.

The Best of 2006- #14

2006-12-18T06:08:00.000-08:00

#14 is Smile by Lily Allen.

I know that every company in the world tries to cash in on the Christmas rush and I may have even mentioned this before in here, but I always get a laugh when things are described as the perfect gift, when clearly they are not.

Unless someone specifically asks for a Swiffer mop, then it is not a great gift and it would be justifiable for the recipient to beat you with it.

And nothing says 'I don't give a crap about you' quite like a McDonald's gift card.

That's all I can think of this early in the morning. Feel free to add any "great" gifts you've seen advertised.

The Best of 2006- #15

2006-12-18T05:49:00.000-08:00

#15 is But It's Better When We Do by Panic! at the Disco. They've blown up pretty big on the pop scene, so I'm sure you've heard this song by now. No need for me to upload it. Also, the upload didn't work.

I got my Christmas present early and I like it very much. It's an mp3 player.

So I got up at 6 yesterday and started ripping all my CDs. Remember when I mentioned that I needed an mp3 player because I couldn't fit my whole year end list onto a CD? Well, in 2003 I actually made a second disc (40-21). Guess how many tracks I ripped off that CD yesterday. Four! I just didn't like the rest of them anymore. I thought to myself, well that's why I never made a Disc Two before- they don't have the staying power. Then I moved on to Disc One (20-1) and I only took 6 off of there. My point is that I just couldn't believe that my music tastes move so quickly and change so much that songs I liked three years ago I don't even like anymore. This time next year will I hate Franz Ferdinand or Interpol?? It doesn't seem possible!

Survivor +#16

2006-12-18T05:30:00.000-08:00

#16 is Hands Open by Snow Patrol.

I thought last night's twist in Survivor was a good move. Having three people in the final vote actually made it a better final two. It eliminated the possibility of Ozzie voting out Yul and taking Becky to the final, which would have been completely anticlimactic. This way, the worthless Becky became an afterthought as she should have been and the vote really came down to the two most worthy people. It was a close vote and both people deserved to win so it ended up being a good show.

The Best of 2006- #17

2006-12-17T16:51:00.000-08:00

Waaaaaaaay behind on my entries. I will make a big update when I get caught up on the music list.

#17 is Let's Make and Listen Death From Above by Cansei De Ser Sexy (aka CSS). I think the grammatical error is intentional or lost in translation because they're Portuguese. Still, this song is pretty funky, bad English or not.

The Best of 2006- #18

2006-12-14T08:52:00.000-08:00

Not a lot of time here, but since I'm already a day behind, I figured I'd stop by to tell you that my 18th favorite song of 2006 is Fraud in the 80's by Mates of State. Yes, they're married.

The Best of 2006- #19

2006-12-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

#19 is Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games by Of Montreal.

You may have heard the bastardized version of this song on commercials for Outback Steakhouse. It's really Of Montreal singing, so I guess it's okay to bastardize your own song. I prefer that to selling away the rights. :)

The Best of 2006- #20

2006-12-11T07:25:00.000-08:00

#20 is Catastrophe Keeps Us Together by Rainer Maria.

I can't believe we've already reached the CD portion of my countdown. These will be the songs I hear almost every day when I get frustrated with the radio and pop in my Best of 2006 CD.

The Best of 2006- #21 (and TAR grumblings)

2006-12-11T06:59:00.000-08:00

#21 is Cobrastyle by Teddybears.

Three things that annoyed me about The Amazing Race finale last night:

1. The finale was anti-climactic YET AGAIN. It seems almost every season they work so hard to keep things close and bunch everyone up so no team runs away with it. People are having trouble with challenges or directions and getting passed all the time. Yet for the last episode, there is no point where the leaders can get tripped up. How are you supposed to pass someone skydiving? And tailoring a shirt? What was that? The whole thing becomes so frustrating when people win a million dollars because their cab got someplace first. The family edition may have sucked, but at least they had to do that tough puzzle before they could hit the final mat. Last season's flag challenge was good, too. If they had the problem solved, why didn't they stay with it?

2. I'm sure I'm not the only one who forgot about the football game overrun. We need to invent DVRs that know when shows are actually starting and ending instead of relying on pre-determined times. It was some sort of cosmic joke that our recording cut off just as TAR was doing their weekly suspenseful edit as to who would come in first. At least I was able to find out and learn that it was as predictable as I assumed.

3. Finally, I'm mad at myself. I was going to pick the two model guys because two males are almost always the winners. Yet in their opening, they had to go and mention that they were models and formerly addicted to drugs. I thought they were weak. I should have known better. If I had just stuck with my original formula instead of going with my guy, I would have had another successful prediction!

The Best of 2006- #22

2006-12-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

#22 is Stay by Small Sins.

I had so much fun answering the TV survey the other night, that i went trolling through myspace to find more to do. I got this Year End one from my sister's bulletin and I thought it fit nicely with my countdown theme. Here we go.

WITH 2006 COMING TO AN END, HAVE YOU...

1. Have you had any relationships this year?
With everyone I know to some degree or another.

2. Have you had your birthday yet?
Yes, and it was quite depressing.

3. Cried yet?
When I found out Lance was gay.

4. Been on a diet?
YES! Between that and exercise, I lost 50 pounds this year.

5. Pulled an all nighter?
I'm so old I don't even know what that means

6. Drank Starbucks?
No, I've never had any kind of coffee ever. It smells nasty.

7. Went Camping?
yes, over the 4th of july.

8. Bought something(s)
Nope. Thank God I made it through an entire year without buying anything. It was close a couple of times, though. Sometimes I really want food.

9. Met someone special?
Nope, but I don't go out of my way to meet the mentally handicapped, so it's not surprising.

10. Been out of state?
Vacation in NJ

11. Gone Snowboarding?
No

12. What are you thinking about?
Trying to think of a wittier response to the snowboarding question.

13.) Hugged someone?
Only complete strangers at the grocery store.

14.) Slept in someone elses bed?
yes, and couches sometimes too

15.) Any alchohol?
No. Not even on cuts.

16.) Loaned out money?
Nothing substantial

17.) Gotten in a car accident?
Nope, but I know some people who have.

18.) Gone over your cell phone bill?
Not my department

19.) Been called a whore?
Probably. Men can be so cruel.

20.) Done something you regret?
Never. I only look forward with my foot on the gas, baby

Last Person you hugged?
Your mom.

Last Person to call you?
No one calls me.

When was the last time you felt stupid?
When I forgot to close the lid on the washing machine so it just filled up and did nothing.

Who was the last person you danced with?
The devil!

Who did you last yell at?
probably kasey

What did you do today?
Christmas party, babysitting, grocery shopping

TEN FACTS

01. Hometown?
Wood-ridge, NJ
02. Natural hair color?
brown

03. Initials?
KB

04. Hair style?
buzzzzzzzz

5. eye color?
red

06. Height:
5'9

07. Pets:
pets backwards is step

08. Mood:
mood backwards is doom. now i'm freaked out

09. Where would you rather be?
at the movies

10. Last thing you drank?
a half full glass of soda that my wife left by the computer 8 hours ago. Sad, but true.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:

01. Have you ever been in love?
yes

02. Do you believe in love?
yes

03. Why did your LAST relationship fail?
Incompatibility

04. Have you ever been heartbroken:
yes

05. Have you ever broken someone's heart:
Anything's possible.

06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend?
I don't have any friends.

07. Have you ever loved someone and not told them?
yes, but most of the time, they're not real anyway.

08. Are you afraid of committment?
Yes, because I'm not that crazy.

10. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships in your life?
Nope

5 EMOTIONS

01. Are you missing someone right now?
Nope, everyone is accounted for.

02. Are you happy?
Not until the Shins' new album comes out in January

03. Are you eating anything?
you wish

04. Do you like someone right now?
I like everyone!

That's only four.....

Oh well.

The Best of 2006- #23

2006-12-08T18:43:00.000-08:00

#23 is The Number by Pretty Girls Make Graves. I can't find a copy of this song anywhere, so you'll just have to take my word on its goodness.

-I recently received a compliment, believe it or not. One of Kasey's friends came over after school while his mom was at work and later he told his mom that Kasey is very lucky because she has such a nice daddy.

-Speaking of good parenting, I'd like to pass on a note to other parents. Cinderella.com: not what you think it would be.

Survey Thief

2006-12-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

Stole this from the real J-Lo's journal. I'm sure it was originally stolen from myspace anyway, so I don't feel bad.

List 6 of your favorite TV shows, then answer the questions.

1. Veronica Mars
2. The Office
3. LOST
4. Heroes
5. Prison Break
6. Arrested Development

1. Who is your favorite character from #2?

Hmmm, tough one. I'd have to go with Jim.

2. Who is your least favorite character from #4?

Nicole/Jessica. She was intriguing at first, but lately seems too detached from the big picture. Besides, having a split personality doesn't even make you a super hero.

3. What would a crossover between #1 and #5 include?

Veronica Mars: Fox River Bounty Hunter

4. Who is your favourite ship from #6?

George-Michael- Maebe!

5. If you were to set one person from #3 and one person from #6 on a blind date, who would they be?

George Sr. and Kate seems natural since they've both been on the run from the law.

6. If you could meet one person from #4 and spend the day with them, who would it be, and what would you do?

I would spend the day with Hiro, over and over.

7. If you could change one thing about #2's plotline, what would you change? Make Jim act more like he just got a big promotion. That seems like it should be a bigger deal, especially to Dwight (though he is a little distracted by Andy)

8. Explain a relationship between two people (not necessarily romantic) from show #3, and why you like the relationship between them.

Jack and Ben. Even though they are the leaders of opposing factions, you can tell that, even if they can't admit it to themselves, they are falling in love.

9. If the lead title characters (first name in the credits) from #1 and #5 were both drowning, and you could only save one, who would it be?

Although I'm sure they could both rescue themselves, I'd have to save Veronica. She's not a criminal.

10. If you could change the title characters' order in the credits for #6, what order would you choose?

It was pretty spot-on, I thought.

11. If you were able to add a new character, any kind of character you wanted, to the storylinefor #4, what would the character be like and what would their role be?

They add new characters pretty much every week, but I guess I would add a robot monkey to be Nathan's sidekick that makes sassy comments.

RM: Nate, you so fly!

Nathan: Keep it down, Robo-monkey!

RM: Quit acting like you gay, yo. *I believe you can FLY!*

Nathan: Dude!

RM: Maybe you ARE gay.

That would be awesome. I should write shows.

12. What happens in your favorite episode of show #2? Now I have to think about which was my favorite. Most of them are great.

13. If you could kill off one of the characters of #1, who would it be and how would you do it? The dean

14. If you got the chance to visit the set for either show #3 or show #5, which would you choose? LOST. It's in Hawaii.

15. So, I saved the best for last. If you could date anyone from any of these shows, which show and which person?

The Best of 2006- #24

2006-12-07T11:58:00.000-08:00

#24 is Wildcat by Ratatat.

If you had told me at the beginning of the year that one of my very favorite songs would be something with with no lyrics other than roaring, I would have giggled. But there you go. My tastes have gotten crazy. :-)

The Best of 2006- #25

2006-12-06T08:54:00.000-08:00

My twenty-fifth favorite song of the year is New English by Ambulance LTD. Unfortunatley, I have never ever been able to find a decent copy that I can play. I direct you to the band's myspace page, where you can hear this sweet little two minute song. Good day.

www.myspace.com/ambulanceltd

The Best of 2006- #26

2006-12-06T08:51:00.000-08:00

#26 is Long Distance Call by Phoenix.

Can you believe the countdown is half way over already?

The Best of 2006- #27

2006-12-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

#27 is Cheated Hearts by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Of the songs off the Show Your Bones album, this is my favorite.

Here are my favorite songs this week, independent of the year end countdown.

1. Naive- The Kooks

2. Between the Moon and the Ocean- Bon Savants

3. Test Pattern- The Thermals

4. Treasure- Papercranes

5. Long Way Home- Tom Waits

6. Hang Me Up To Dry- Cold War Kids

7. Painted By Numbers- The Sounds

8. God Knows- El Perro Del Mar

9. Wildcat- Ratatat

10. Just Stay- Kevin Devine

Bad News! + #28

2006-12-05T08:37:00.000-08:00

#28 is Love Me or Hate Me by Lady Sovereign. This song contains foul language so if you are a prude, you should hit ESC now. :)

So the bad news is that my team has already been eliminated from the 2007 World Series of Pop Culture. My brother tried to register and was informed that NYC was already booked to capacity. This is just not right. Know why? Because I registered at VH1.com to be informed when casting began. And I have not received any notification whatsoever as of this moment. I had to see it in an ad in a magazine and by then it was too late. Needless to say, VH1 will be receiving a strongly-worded letter from me. The only matter left to decide is how many exclamation points to use.

The VCH Television Awards II

2006-12-02T17:21:00.000-08:00

It's time for the second annual VCH Television Awards! Before we get started, let's travel back in time to one year ago and look at my ten favorite shows from 2005.

1. Arrested Development -canceled!

2. The Office -still awesome!

3. LOST -still awesome!

4. My Name is Earl -nosedive!

5. Project Greenlight -canceled!

6. Survivor -still good, but not awesome!

7. Grey's Anatomy -better than ever!

8. Pardon The Interruption -work schedule prevents me from watching it!

9. Prison Break -still awesome!

10. Reunion -canceled!

And now, break out your tux for this year's ceremony. Here are my ten favorite shows from this year:

1. Veronica Mars (The CW)- Yeah, I know. I was surprised, too. But I realized a couple of weeks ago that VM is actually the best show on television. It's got everything. A wittiness to match any of the best comedies. The mystery solving and cool gadgetry of CSI and company. The 'don't care if you get it right away or not' attitude of Arrested Development. The healthiest and best parent-child relationship on TV. And of course, a hot girl as the lead...

Yes, the VCH loves Veronica Mars. As a friend.

2. The Office (NBC)- With AD gone, The Office inherits the spot as the best comedy on television. And my God is it funny. Like 'having someone drawn into the room wondering what the heck you are watching that could possibly be so funny' funny. And, as I said last year, despite its zaniness, the characters are so real. Michael Scott is a surprisingly complex character. In the season three premeire, he made me laugh, cringe, and truly feel sorry for him all in the span of twenty-two minutes. And don't even get me started on the Jim-Pam thing. I think it could be the gateway into getting my wife to watch the show.

3. LOST (ABC)- OMG! Michael just shot Ana-Lucia and Libby! I know most of the media attention is on the controversial hiatus and the off-camera activities of its cast, but LOST is still the most dramatic, amazing roller-coaster ride on TV and still the only show that has literally dropped my jaw. I don't get home from work until very late, and if there is a LOST recording waiting for me, I can't go to bed until I've watched it.

4. Heroes (NBC)- The best new show on television this fall. I was a little on the fence about watching this one, as the previews didn't look too terribly captivating, but I am so glad I did. It's fast-paced, action-packed and yet still character driven. How can anyone not fall in love with Hiro? Or Heroes for that matter.

5. Prison Break (FOX)- Who would have thought this show could have kept up its pace and its crazy twists into a second season when the title of the show had already been achieved? Yet the show didn't miss a beat and I found myself being interested and talking about it even more than I had the first season. Of course, that might have been only because of physical therapy where Kate and I would do nothing but talk about it. Good times!

6. The Loop (FOX)- The best of last spring's mid-season comedies and the only one to not be canceled- technically. Last I heard, it was coming back again this next spring, only with more focus on the workplace part of the show, which was the best part. Check it out if it ever does make it back on the air.

7. The Nine (ABC)- And now the sad part of the list. The shows that were canceled or practically canceled and never given a proper chance. God forbid a show should be put on the air that uses character development almost exclusively to move a story forward. Maybe The Nine doesn't have all the twists and turns that other shows have, but it was still telling an intriguing storytelling before being yanked. Let's hope ABC comes to their senses and let's this one play out.

8. Kidnapped (NBC)- The biggest travesty of the new season. I can't believe I got duped by a network again. I drooled at the mere announcement of this show. I looked forward to it all summer. I watched the premeire with glee. And then I got hosed by an impatient network once again. I voiced my displeasure to NBC in a non-angry, sensible e-mail and this is what I got:

Thanks for your email. NBC values your comments, but unfortunately, due to the volume of emails we receive, we cannot respond to each one. Please check our FAQ section to see if your question is answered there:

http://www.nbc.com/faq/

Since we cannot accept unsolicited scripts, show ideas, or other creative material, any such submission by email will be deleted without being read.

We would also like to hear more of your opinions about television and the programs you watch. If you would like to share your feedback with us by becoming part of our viewer panel, please visit the following link:

http://www2.rresults.com/1809998/index.cfm?s=50

Once you join, you'll occasionally be invited to take Internet surveys, which are fun to do and usually take about 5 minutes to complete. The informationyou give will have an impact on the television programs you enjoy.

Thanks for logging on to NBC's websites.

Thanks. That makes it all better!

9. Grey's Anatomy- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I watch a girl show. Sue me! It's still pretty funny.

10. Monk- (USA)- There's a reason Tony Shalhoub keeps winning the acting Emmy for this show. He has created one of the best television characters of all time. Like VM, Monk blends mystery with comedy flawlessly. Only Monk is not as hot.

---Okay, that's it! My favorite shows of 2006 whether they're on the air or not. I highly recommend checking all this stuff out because if I like it, it has to be good. I have impeccable taste. Now I'm off to watch my WWE recording.

The Best of 2006- #29

2006-12-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

#29 is Fire Island, AK by The Long Winters.

This is why I need an mp3 player. My Best of the year CD only fits 20 songs so great songs like this get put in the high twenties and forgotten. I listen to the CDs all the time and it burns them into my memory. I know what #15 was on my 2005 list, but I do not know what #29 is. Making the cut on the CD makes a big difference in my brain. If I had an mp3 player, the whole list would fit on there. And I would memorize it!

Coming up later- my second annual Top Ten Best of Television list. And there's a new number 1! (Since Arrested Development is not on anymore)

Oh, guess what! I was flipping through the channels and AD was on G4 something or other channel-I've never heard of it. Tonight they are showing 4 more episodes. They're out of sequence, but still, it's AD on TV!!!

The Best of 2006- #30

2006-12-01T17:07:00.000-08:00

I love, love, LOVE this song. Which is why it's tearing me up that the whole songs are not playing. I am hoping maybe it's just my problem and you can hear it, but I doubt it. The pain will only get worse if I can't play this stuff for you. Obviously, every day we get to a song I like better than anything before it.

Oh yeah, #30 is Sundress by Ben Kweller.

...well, this one seems to be playing. Who knew that crossing your fingers works?

Tomorrow I am going to write a really long entry that will not be all about music. That's for all the complainers! :-)

The Best of 2006- #31

2006-12-01T16:49:00.000-08:00

#31 is Munich by Editors.

I think I've mentioned how I like wacky covers. The other night I heard the Editors covering Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz. Instead of doing the rap parts the singer would start putting the lyrics to this song in there. It's funny. Anyway, I don't know why this song is called Munich, but I like it.

The Best of 2006- #32

2006-12-01T16:24:00.000-08:00

Ok. Everything is back to normal here. Phone. Check. Internet. Check. TV. Check. Feels great to be reconnected with the world.

#32 is Gold Lion by Yeah Yeahs Yeahs. At first I hated this song, but it didn't take long for me to remember that the Y's rock. Sometimes I just don't listen to new stuff right away and it takes me a little while to catch on.

I really don't want to stop uploading songs on here, but it better start playing the whole song! Hulk getting mad.

I'm back...again! ( + The Best of 2006- #33)

2006-12-01T08:21:00.000-08:00

UGH! I haven't had the internet for three days! Tuesday at noon, the cable went out and when it came back, the net didn't. On top of that, the cable guy was just here for two hours trying to fix our reception and the net. He pulled out all kinds of old wires in the basement and found a lot of wires that led nowhere and all kinds of crazy crap. The people before us really went nuts with wires and splitters and it really screwed everything up. The net problem is another story. Apparently, there is an outage in 60% of our area. The weird thing is that the modem works on the desktop, but if I hook up our router and Vonage, it stops working. This problem is supposed to be fixed today and if it's not, there is of course a number to call.

Anyway, #33 is Better by Regina Spektor. I don't have this song (thought I did) so here is the myspace page: www.myspace.com/reginaspektor

The Best of 2006- #34

2006-11-27T06:32:00.000-08:00

#34 is Shine a Light by Wolf Parade.

This upload seems to have not worked at all, so here is the myspace link: www.myspace.com/wolfparade

I can barely understand the lyrics, but sometimes that doesn't matter. :)

------

I knew this would become a trend as the television landscape changes more and more. I am talking about the "fall finale." Mini-seasons are not just for cable anymore. This week Desperate Housewives, Prison Break, and Jericho go away for the rest of the calendar year and The Nine has been yanked with no specifics on a return. The networks have been patted on the back for being patient this year, yet some great stuff has still been given no chance. I've given up on Kidnapped since only the current episode is available online. If I didn't know that the series had become online only until two weeks in, how am I supposed to get caught up? I will wait for the DVD and hope it is a big seller. Man-crush on The Sisto aside, Kidnapped is really good and yes, Jeremy is one of the main reasons why. It's only crime was starting too slowly. Things really picked up once the show was already dead in the water.

---

It amazes me that an entire 3 hours of a football game can be decided on just one play. Mathias Kiwanuka not finishing his game-clinching sack of Vince Young, literally cost the Giants the game. If he makes sure the guy is on his butt instead of inexplicably letting go and immediatly turning his back on his opponent in midplay, the Giants win instead of lose. It was the most mind-boggling thing I have ever seen and I've seen the Giants blow games before. That play was just surreal.

As for picking the games, I am slowly climbing out of my season-long slump. I have climbed up the standings in my cousin's pool and while I am still 14 games out of first, I am just six games out of 5th place, which is the first spot to get prize money at the end of the season. Still no hope for the family pool as shaving 6 games off my sister-in-law's lead still puts me 17 behind. Kudos to my wife though, who has eliminated a 13 game lead in just three weeks. If the Packers win tonight, she will pull into a tie for the lead. The lesson, of course is, it's better to not know anything about football and just guess than it is to overanalyze everything.

The Best of 2006- #35

2006-11-27T06:21:00.000-08:00

#35 is Crooked Teeth by Death Cab For Cutie.

I've been looking over my whole list, and DCFC is one of the only bands to have a song on both the 2005 and 2006 lists. Just goes to show how many great bands are out there and how many new great bands keep popping up.

In other news, I am getting tired of my uploads not playing the whole song. I don't know how to fix it.

The Best of 2006- #36

2006-11-25T06:46:00.000-08:00

#36 is Hang Me Up To Dry by Cold War Kids. Of course the upload didn't work properly again, so here's a link: www.myspace.com/coldwarkids

Since this is my current favorite song, I thought I'd do an impromptu Top Ten List. I usually don't keep a list during my yearly countdown, but I can do whatever I want. It's my prerogative as Bobby Brown and then Britney Spears said.

1. Hang Me Up To Dry- Cold War Kids

2. Naive- The Kooks

3. Wildcat- Ratatat

4. The Pick of Destiny- Tenacious D

5. Small Parts- The Oolahs

6. Just Stay- Kevin Devine

7. O Valencia!- The Decemberists

8. Let Me Go- Wired All Wrong

9. Enough To Get Away- Joseph Arthur

10. Between the Moon and the Ocean- Bon Savants

The Best of 2006- #37

2006-11-25T06:27:00.000-08:00

#37 is Living Proof by Cat Power.

It's not your FACE!

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." - Abraham Lincoln

The Best of 2006- #38 (HAPPY THANKSGIVING BTW)

2006-11-23T08:24:00.000-08:00

#38 is Conceived by Beth Orton.

I don't know if the whole thing will play. I've been having problems with this lately. The song is also on her myspace page: www.myspace.com/bethorton

Happy Thanksgiving! Save some food for me. I have to work.

The Best of 2006- #39

2006-11-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

#39 is Let Me Go by Wired All Wrong. I couldn't get a copy of the song for the journal, but I did make it my profile song on myspace:

www.myspace.com/capthappy

It wasn't working when I added it, but maybe it will work for you. As we get into the 30s, we're starting to get to the songs I liked from the very first time I heard them. The first time I heard this, we were leaving the parking lot at Pizza Hut and I thought, "Oh, this sounds cool. I will like this song." I hope you get to hear it play because this song is cool and I like it.

The Best of 2006- #40

2006-11-22T08:15:00.000-08:00

#40 is This Isn't Farm Life by The Essex Green.

The Essex Green Website

Good news is there is lots of work to do at work so I got some overtime yesterday. Bad news is that there will be no work to do on Thursday, so I will lose the overtime by going home early. Also, Wal-mart is not giving us turkeys this year. Losers! They've ruined Thanksgiving!

The Best of 2006- #41

2006-11-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

#41 is Dress Up In You by Belle and Sebastian.

This song is off of the very good album The Life Pursuit. I have it in contention for album of the year, but if my favorite song off of it can only reach 41, I'm not sure I can justify that. Anyway, check out that whole album, or buy a T-shirt of it here: Belle & Sebastian

*EDIT* For some reason, the journal is not playing the whole song. Here's a live version of the song on Youtube: YouTube - Belle & Sebastian - Dress Up in You (live) (Wow, it's not just their website that's boring! These guys are all [indie rock nerd] business!)

The Best of 2006- #42

2006-11-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

#42 is Get Myself Into It by The Rapture.

I thought of another way to hear only one song at a time in here. Click on View Archives and then you can see each entry one at a time instead of the last ten.

Also, I'm not sure if I downloaded the explicit version or the edited version of this song. I guess we'll find out...

The Best of 2006- #43

2006-11-18T15:15:00.000-08:00

#43 is Bullets by Editors

I got a comment on Myspace from my cousin's GF, Frances telling me about how awful it is that I will miss Thanksgiving because they have the LOST role playing game. I agree. I have never missed Thanksgiving! Stupid work! Plus, they've already told us that there will be no work but they won't schedule anyone off.

Here is my official reply to Frances' comment:

I've never had to work on Thanksgiving before. It's going to stink! BTW, the new Entertainment Weekly with James Bond on the cover has an ad in it for the 2007 World Series of Pop Culture. It will be in New York on the weekend of Jan 12. Sean and I have to do it! We need a third person and I was leaning toward my brother, but I don't know. I might feel better if we can find some old broken down derelict who was once a proud champion and we have to whip him back into shape and remind him of his former glory and that it's never too late to give up on your dreams. I picture a montage where we dust him off and at first he's terrible at the questions, but then we clean him up, get him a haircut, give him a shave and then finally he gets that twinkle back in his eye when he overhears two people talking in the background and one of them clearly has the character's name wrong. Then he corrects them, repeating the right name over and over like some strange mantra, ("Garth's last name was Algar!"), his former life beckoning to him from the past, and the broken down bum starts dancing in the streets, grabbing us by the shoulders and smiling, still screaming the answer like it has saved his life and, in a way, it has, because at last he is inspired to join our team and help us win the 2007 World Series of Pop Culture. This could happen.

The Best of 2006- #44

2006-11-18T15:03:00.000-08:00

So yeah, I missed a day. It's hard to post every day! I've been really sick and didn't get off the couch hardly at all yesterday. Shrek 2 for the Playstation was the babysitter as I drifted in and out of consciousness. Three times I collapsed to the ground because I was too dizzy once I stood up. I also had a strange dream in which I was Jim from The Office.

#44 is Conventional Wisdom by Built to Spill.

BUFFER- that's a funny word!

The Best of 2006- #45

2006-11-16T09:47:00.000-08:00

#45 is Phenomena by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I thought over the course of the year that the band would score three songs in the top twenty, but as usual, there's just too much good stuff so their first song off the Show Your Bones album falls all the way to 45. Oh well. :)

The Best of 2006- #46 ...and other stuff

2006-11-15T07:42:00.000-08:00

CAUTION: Today's song contains vulgar language. Hit Esc to turn off the music.

#46 is The Pick of Destiny by Tenacious D. You can visit the "greatest rock band in the world" here: Tenacious D

I've liked Tenacious D for a long time. Jack Black and Kyle Gass are so sincere in their silliness that it twists what should be terrible music and turns it into some fun, good stuff. The D takes the cheesiness up a notch with this new offering because, hey, they've got a new movie to promote. The blatant self-promotion is what makes this song even funnier than what we've heard before. The movie is "better than Citizen Kane!" I should go see it, right?

By the way, this is not the last the countdown has seen of catchy songs blatantly promoting a film :)...

-------------

Remember the Seinfeld episode where George starts doing the opposite of what his instincts tell him to and starts to turn his life around? Funny, right? Well, it worked for me! (As far as gambling goes, that is.) First, I picked all the teams I thought would win or at least cover the spread. Then when I entered them into my cousin's pool, I took the other team. I even picked against the Giants for the first time ever. Result: I am now 250 dollars richer.

-------------

Last night at work I realized I had forgotten to put my belt on when my pants almost fell down. They fell right off my waist. Back in June, I was upset because I had to buy a 40 waist and now a 35 is too much to wear without a belt. The funny thing is that I have even gone jogging in over two weeks. I think I must have sped my metabolism up because last time I checked, I had lost three pounds without even trying. I'm awesome.

-------------

TV Thoughts:

Prison Break: How intense was T-Bag? Biting his hand off to escape just like a trapped animal! And I don't think he's ever looked scarier than when he came to get his money back. Oh Michael, you should feel guilty for what you've released into the world. The funniest part of the show was Geary using the money to act on some sexual deviances. "A Cleveland what?" said the prostitute. LOL I don't think Sara will be killed. If Kellerman could go through with killing her, he would have already done it. He has shown no hesitation in the past.

Heroes: The last episode was just filler until next week's big "save the cheerleader" episode, but it was still good. I like the Charlie character and I don't think she will be dead for good. (Go Hiro!) It may not be a dynamic world-saving superpower, but remembering everything could be quite useful and I would take that ability before I would take flying or mind-reading.

Studio 60: The number one complaint I've read about this show is that the bottom line is that it's about whether or not rich people can put on a television show and it's hard to invest in that. I answer that by saying that it's the damn premise of the show. If a show takes place behind the scenes of a TV show, then that's what I expect to see. I don't get distracted or find it hard to care about someone because of how much money someone makes on a doctor or lawyer show so why should a change of venue make a difference. It's been nice to have at least one show where you know no one is going to die.

Veronica Mars: The self-contained mystery was a little ho-hum. Even Veronica herself was disinterested at first. I'm sure the mystery of the kid that ended up in the drunk tank with no memory could have been eventually solved by the police without VM tracking cell phones and credit card transactions. But the bigger stories were that Keith dumped his married girlfriend because he had lost his daughter's respect, which means more to him than romance. Secondly, Veronica was almost the next rape victim! Sure, she fits the profile anyway, but I'm sure the rapist must know she is on the case and getting close so he tried to stop himself from being the next checkmark on her undefeated track record.

The Best of 2006- #47

2006-11-14T09:37:00.000-08:00

#47 is Star Witness by Neko Case.

I have to get to work, so that will have to do it for today's entry. :-)

The Best of 2006- #48

2006-11-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

#48 is A Pillar of Salt by The Thermals.

The band's website is currently under construction, so here is their myspace page: www.myspace.com/thethermals

I like this song. That is my brilliant analysis. I don't want to burn myself out this year.

This is a buffer zone. I am trying to help you not get overlapping music. :-)

The Best of 2006- #49

2006-11-12T06:51:00.000-08:00

Remember, you can hit Esc to turn off the music. You might want to do this if you scroll too much and two songs start playing at once. Plus, this next one is an acquired taste.

#49 is The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack by Liars

It sounds like it might be the saddest song ever, but it's actually a very sweet song about loyalty.

The Best of 2006- #50

2006-11-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

It's the third annual countdown of my favorite songs of the year. And this year I will try not to lose focus or be in too much pain from the carpal tunnel syndrome to finish. I am particularly excited about this year's countdown since I can actually play the music for you.

# 50 is Pushover by the Long Winters

You can visit the official band website here: The Long Winters | Seattle, WA

I find this to be a very difficult song to get stuck in your head. It's hard to sing the overlapping vocals. But still, I like it a lot. It fits my melancholy musical taste perfectly. I hope you like it too.

I'm Back

2006-11-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

Did you miss me? Don't be shy. You know you did. We just moved into an apartment and the cable company wouldn't come to hook us up for a whole week. What a terrible thing to happen during a sweeps month! Fortunately, this TV season is unlike any other in history, as now you can watch almost anything for free on the internet. I've caught up with LOST, Desperate Housewives and I just watched the director's cut of The Office. It will take some time but I think we can get through this and get caught up. Except for Veronica Mars. Get on board with the wave of the future CW! Offer your shows online!

---

In my little spare time these last couple of weeks, I've been doing something I look forward to all year. Compiling my list of favorite songs of the year. Each year seems to get tougher and tougher, but overall I am pleased with my list and I think if I had to do it over again without referencing the final product, it would probably come out about the same. The Top 50 starts tomorrow so today I'm going to blow out #'s 150-51. This entry is going to be long. To the one or two people who will read it: Enjoy!

150. When the Sun Goes Down- Arctic Monkeys

149. New Years- Asobi Seksu

148. Out Here All Night- Damone

147. Adventure Rocket Ship- Robyn Hitchcock

146. Cruel- Calexico

145. To Go Home- M. Ward

144. Lonesome Valley- Magnolia Electric Co.

143. End of the Line- Mohair

142. AM Slow Golden Hit- Hotel Lights

141. Wolf Like Me- TV on the Radio

140. Tricycle- Psapp

139. We Share Our Mother's Health- The Knife

138. Don't Listen to the Radio- The Vines

137. Just Drums- Tapes 'n' Tapes

136. An Old Familiar Scene- Elf Power

135. Louisiana- The Walkmen

134. Jekyll n Hyde- Ella Rouge

133. Situation- Irving

132. Standing in the Way of Control- Gossip

131. Key of C- Jim Noir

130. Shot Down- Nine Black Alps

129. When You Were Young- The Killers

128. Enemies Like This- Radio 4

127. Boys Wanna Be Her- Peaches

126. Consolation Prizes- Phoenix

125. The Compromise- The Format

124. Stuck Between Stations- The Hold Steady

123. Sing- The Dresden Dolls

122. Suddenly I See- KT Tunstall

121. Plan of the Man- The M's

120. Meds- Placebo

119. Eanie Meany- Jim Noir

118. Paralyzed- Rock Kills Kid

117. Thursday- Asobi Seksu

116. Suzie- Boy Kill Boy

115. I Need Some Fine Wine and You Need To Be Nicer- The Cardigans

114. I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor- Arctic Monkeys

113. Enough To Get Away- Joseph Arthur

112. Absolutely Nothing- Lily Allen

111. Bad Education- Tilly and the Whale

110. I Will Follow You Into the Dark- Death Cab for Cutie

109. Lazy Eye- Silversun Pickups

108. Love is Stronger Than Witchcraft- Robert Pollard

107. Love You in the Fall- Paul Westerberg

106. Hate (I Really Don't Like You)- Plain White T's

105. Steady, As She Goes- The Raconteurs

104. Miss Murder- AFI

103. The Big Guns- Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins

102. Oh My- Mellowdrone

101. This Time- DJ Shadow

100. Naive- The Kooks

99. Hard to Beat- Hard-Fi

98. Let the Sirens Rest- Now It's Overhead

97. Idecide- What Made Milwaukee Famous

96. Quiet as a Mouse- Margot & The Nuclear So and So's

95. Half Dead- The Mountain Goats

94. Your Eyes- Aloha

93. Gone Daddy Gone

92. Skip to the End- Futureheads

91. Well Thought Out Twinkles- Silversun Pickups

90. MakeDamnSure- Taking Back Sunday

89. Is It Any Wonder?- Keane

88. February- The Appleseed Cast

87. There Is No Ending- The Arab Strap

86. Ooh La La- Goldfrapp

85. The Blues Are Still Blue- Belle & Sebastian

84. Chips Ahoy!- The Hold Steady

83. I Don't Feel Like Dancin'- Scissor Sisters

82. Exeter, Rhode Island- Jennifer O'Connor

81. In The Morning- Razorlight

80. Mr. Tough- Yo La Tengo

79. Postcards From Italy- Beirut

78. I've Been Stalking You On Myspace- John B

77. Sister Twisted- Kinky

76. Breaking The Ice- Mojave 3

75. Fishnets and Cigarettes- New York Dolls

74. Breath Me- Sia

73. Saying Sorry- Hawthorne Heights

72. Hey! Is That a Ninja Up There?- Minus the Bear

71. No Key, No Plan- Okkervil River

70. If You Talk Too Much (My Head Will Explode)- People in Planes

69. Your Touch- The Black Keys

68. I Want You So Hard- Eagles of Death Metal

67. Happy- Snowglobe

66. O Valencia- The Decemberists

65. Wicked Light Sleeper- The Joggers

64. Not Going Home- The Elected

63. Dream Sequence- The Arab Strap

62. With a Gun- The Minus 5

61. God is Going to Get Sick of Me- Aberdeen City

60. Dancing on the Lip of a Volcano- New York Dolls

59. Snakes in the Grass- Essex Green

58. Monster Hospital- Metric

57. Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken- Camera Obscura

56. Be Gentle With Me- The Boy Least Likely To

55. Treasure- Papercranes

54. You Have Killed Me- Morrissey

53. Bang Bang, You're Dead- Dirty Pretty Things

52. Elevate Myself- Grandaddy

51. Penny on the Train Track- Ben Kweller

LOST- Episode 53: The Cost of Living

2006-11-04T09:38:00.000-08:00

Previously on LOST: Sun killed Colleen, Jack saw some X-rays, and Eko found his dead brother on the downed prop plane.

We begin in flashback land as young Eko breaks the lock off of a storage shed so that young Yemi can have some food. Unfortunately, before they can dig in too much, a stern looking nun busts them and takes them into the church. She orders young Eko to confess his sin, but he is reluctant. Is acting on the survival instinct really a sin? According to this nun's God, it is.

In the present, Eko is still unconscious. Sayid, who is suddenly back, tries to wake him to no avail. Hurley tells him to let Locke know that he is back. They leave Eko alone with his mind, which is racing through his first flashback episode. When he gets to the end, he wakes up to see Yemi by his side. "It is time to be judged," Yemi tells his older brother.

Outside, Sayid, Charlie and Hurley see that the tent they just left is now on fire. They put it out with dirt and drag Mr. Eko to safety. Eko grabs Charlie's leg and mutters "My brother," a few times. Locke comes to check on the fire and when Charlie tries to show him where they left Eko, Eko is no longer there. This sudden disappearance cues the creepy LOST title screen.

In his cell, Jack is keeping in shape by doing pull-ups on the pipe, when Ben enters the room dressed in a dressy tunic. He asks Jack to come for a walk with him and gives him his own tunic to wear. As Ben leaves to wait outside, Jack asks him if his neck hurts from the tumor. Ben says he doesn't know what Jack is talking about, but his eyes tell a different story.

Jack is led, unrestrained, to the beach where the Others are having a Viking funeral for Colleen. Juliet approaches him and says she hates funerals- something she has in common with Jack if you can remember all the way back to the first half of the first season. As the funeral progresses, Ben pulls Juliet aside and asks her why she showed Jack his X-rays.

The next day at their own beach, Locke tells Sayid and Desmond that he thinks he knows a way to find their captured friends. Desmond tells Sayid about the communication capabilitiesof the computer in the Swan station, so Locke thinks they should head back to the Pearl to try its computer out. Hurley and Charlie report back with the news that they can't find Eko's trail. When Locke hears that Eko was mumbling about his brother, Locke tells them that they will catch up to him because they are going to the same place.

Mr. Eko, meanwhile is stumbling through the jungle in a daze. As he collapses to the ground, he flashes back to his return to Yemi's church, still being mistaken for a priest. Since he fooled the military men, he figures he might as well keep this thing going by fooling the whole town. Never mind that they've, you know, seen him before in his other confrontations with Yemi. He enters the church and finds his brother's bible bookmarked with a photo of the two brothers from their younger days. He is disturbed by a woman and her son. He tells them that he is replacing Yemi, who was called away and she asks if Father Yemi is still going to London.

In the present, Eko wakes up suddenly and begins stumbling around again. He doesn't notice a little piece of Smoky the Monster zip past behind him. Before he can make it very far, Eko is attacked by some mean looking dudes, who almost nail him in the head with a machete. He pulls the machete out of the tree it got wedged in and goes on the offensive. Except that it looks like the damage has been done already, as his attackers are bloody and missing limbs. One begs for mercy as Eko holds the machete over his head. Then the begging guy turns into the altar boy Eko just met in his most recent flashback. The boy tells Eko to Shh and then disappears. Mr. Eko is very confused.

Elsewhere, Locke changes things up by telling everyone exactly what is going on, what he plans to do and inviting everyone to come along. Hurley thinks this a nice change of pace from Jack's leadership by secret mission approach. Locke's style leads to the recruitment of Nikki, which leads to Paolo reluctantly coming too. She tells him that he is always complaining about not being included and this is their chance. Desmond pulls Locke aside and asks him if they are really going for the computer or if they are going after Eko. Locke tells him that Yemi's plane crashed on the hatch they are going to. Desmond is impressed by this coincidence, so Locke tells him not to mistake coincidence for fate.

Meanwhile, Eko makes it to a stream and begins drinking. He flashes back to the church. The altar boy tells him not to wash his hands in the holy water, but Eko tells him he is washing away his sins. They hear gunfire outside, so Eko strolls outside to see what is happening. It seems Yemi had made some kind of deal with the local thugs for "protection" in exchange for vaccines from the Red Cross, which the bad guys would sell. I say "it seems" because I'm not entirely sure that's right, but my limit of watching the same scene consecutively is three. :) The leader of the bad guys wants to know if Eko will continue to honor Yemi's arrangement, but Eko says he is not afraid of them. So the bad guy shoots a woman dead and tells Eko to comply by Friday or he will have more blood on his hands.

In the present, Eko continues drinking and tending to his polar bear wounds, when he sees Smoky's reflection in the water. He turns around to face it and Smoky retreats into the jungle with its Smoky tail between its Smoky legs. Then Locke and company show up to say hello.

Elsewhere, Juliet enters Jack's cell with a covered plate of mystery lunch. Jack says he's not big on mysteries. Juliet lifts the lid to show Jack his cheeseburger, which thoroughly impresses the good doctor. Ben interrupts their flirty banter to tell Juliet that he needs to speak to Jack alone. Jack says he is fine with Juliet there, but Ben says it's a matter of doctor-patient confidentiality. When Juliet leaves, Ben starts going on about the wonderful plan they had to break Jack and convince him that they weren't his enemies. He says that Juliet resembles Jack's ex-wife and she was the means to get Jack "invested". Of course, the whole plan was shot to sunshine when Jack saw the X-rays and figured out Ben was dying. Ben is reduced to simply asking Jack to think about performing the operation. He says that two days after he was diagnosed with a tumor on his spine, a spinal surgeon fell from the sky. Proof of God is what that is in Ben's mind.

Meanwhile, Eko has joined Locke's expedition so Locke begins to talk to him, asking him if he is looking for Yemi. Eko pushes him against a tree and holds the machete to his throat, demanding that he never say that name. Locke asks him what he is so afraid of, which triggers a flashback. Father Eko questions the altar boy's mom about the vaccine arrangement with the militia. She says the vaccines fetch a high price on the black market but if he is thinking about crossing those men, he had better not. They owe what little they get to Father Yemi's efforts. Later, Eko puts his drug dealer hat back on and tries to make his own vaccine deal with someone else. Then he is going to leave the country.

Our gang reaches the Pearl hatch and Locke tells Sayid to take everyone down while he helps Eko. Paolo and Nikki, Mr. and Mrs. Exposition, remind the viewers that Yemi's body is on the plane by talking about what Eko is doing. As they remove the rocks blocking the door of the plane, Locke wants to talk monster with Eko, asking him what he saw. Locke says he saw a beautiful light, but that is not what Eko saw. No, sir. When they get the final rock moved, Eko is shocked and dismayed to find that his brother's body is gone.

Locke takes a commercial break to think about it and decides that Yemi's body burned in the fire or was dragged away by animals. As a resident of Crazy Island, he should know better than that. Eko pulls the photo of him and his brother from his pocket and tells Locke that he will wait there and not enter the hatch. Then Locke returns the cross he found while looking for Eko. Eko flashes back to Yemi's church one more time. The bad guys kick the door in and ask Eko if he thought they wouldn't find out about the double cross. Because he is a priest, they will not kill him, but simply chop his hands off. Eko doesn't like that deal, so he fights back, gets control of the machete and starts hacking away. This is the exact scene Eko recently recreated on the island, only this time he brings the machete down on his begging enemy instead of having the guy morph into an altar boy. After his victory, Eko stumbles out of the church with the bloody machete still in his hand. The town is shocked and disappointed to see this, particularly altar boy and his mom.

In the Pearl Station, Nikki watches the Station Five orientation film while Sayid inspects the computer. He tells Locke that the wiring is one way and it is a dead end. Nikki asks what the other TVs are for, pointing out that the Dharma dude mentions more than one project on the island. Sayid goes back to work, trying to patch into any other feeds that might be available. Paolo emerges from another room to report that the toilet works. After some fiddling, Sayid manages to get a picture on one of the monitors. They see a computer room and to their surprise, a dude with an eye patch appears right in front of them. Then he reaches for the camera and the picture goes dead. "I guess he'll be expecting us," Locke says.

Back in Jack's cell, Juliet enters the room on the other side of the glass and pops a movie into the VCR. Jack says pass, but Juliet insists he watch it, even if the sound is turned down. She begins to apologize, but as she speaks, Jack notices that the movie playing is not To Kill A Mockingbird, but a home video of Juliet herself holding up large flashcards like that old Bob Dylan video. The first one says, "Ignore everything I'm saying."

As she goes on and on about how desperate they are to save Ben and how great he is, her signs tell a different story.

"Ben is a liar."

"And he is very dangerous."

"Some of us want a change."

"But it has to look like an accident."

"It has to look like we tried to save him."

"And that's up to you. Jack"

"It's a complicated surgery. No one would ever Know"

"And I would protect you"

"Now tell me to turn off the movie"

Jack does as the video instructs and Juliet leaves him with this new wrinkle to think about.

In flashback land, Eko has packed up and tells altar boy that he is going to London. AB asks Eko if he is a bad man and Eko replies that only God knows. Outside, the altar boy's mother is not grateful that Eko killed the bad men because they will just be replaced. Eko sees the townspeople boarding up the church and AB's mom informs him that it can no longer be used because of what Eko did in there. She tells him that he owes Yemi one church.

In the present, Yemi appears before Eko, but doesn't answer his brother's cries as he stalks off into the jungle. After a few more moments of shouting and frantic searching, Eko finds his brother waiting for him in a field. Eko says he is ready and begins his confession. "I ask for no forgiveness, Father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man. If I could answer him now, I would tell him that when I was a young boy, I killed a man to save my brother's life. I am not sorry for this. I am proud of this." Eko drops to his knees with his arms extended. "I did not ask for this life I have been given but it was given nonetheless and with it, I did my best." With spite in his eyes, Yemi tells Eko that he speaks to him as if he were his brother. Eko stands, confused now. "Yemi" disappears into the jungle and Smoky the Monster emerges to take his place. Eko is ready to fight and is not afraid, but you can't win a fight with Smoky when he's in a fighting mood. Smoky grabs Eko by the waist and whips him violently into nearby tree trunks over and over again. Locke and company hear the violence above and come rushing to help, but it is too late. All they find when they get up there is Eko lying bloody and beaten on the ground. Eko whispers something in Locke's ear, goes to his happy place, which is hanging out with his younger brother in their youth, and then dies. Sayid asks what was said and Locke solemnly answers. "We're next."

Next time on the "Fall Finale" of LOST: Jack wants to get off the island and Kate and Sawyer get it on.

LOST- Episode 52: Every Man For Himself

2006-10-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

Previously on LOST: Jack wondered what the Others wanted with him, Sawyer tried to fight his way out of captivity and Sun shot Colleen the Other.

The show opens on Desmond, who is sitting on the beach watching Claire and Aaron share a moment. He approaches her and asks if he can fix her roof. A jealous Charlie approaches and nips this friendly offer to help in the bud.

In Jack's aquatic cage, the torture part of the Others' plan has begun as they have left the television and it is playing annoying old school cartoons. Juliet enters with food and Jack starts playing with her mind. He asks her if he should talk to Benjamin to find out what's going on. Juliet insists that Ben is not the leader, that they make decisions together, but she is immediately undermined when Ben storms in and orders her to come with him. The sub is back and there is a "situation." When they leave, Jack presses his ear to the door to try and get the scoop, but it is unclear if he is able to learn anything.

Quick cut to the Others racing through the jungle with a bloody body on a stretcher.

Sawyer is woken up from his nap when his cage door swings open. It's time for work. Before Sawyer can provoke another beating, Danny gets a call on his radio and presumably learns of the fate of his lady love, Colleen. Ben and the Others race by with the stretcher as Kate and Sawyer look on-apparently work is canceled today. Kate asks what happend. "We happened," Sawyer answers with a grin. He says they just got their ticket out of there, which cues the creepy LOST title screen.

Over the break, Sawyer concocts a plan. Every time he earns a reward, a drink of water pours from a pipe. He's done it enough for a puddle to have collected at the cage door. When he doesn't earn a reward, there is a jolt of electricity. Since Picket/Danny is distracted at the moment, it shouldn't be terribly difficult for him to not notice the puddle. Sawyer grabs him and ZAP! Kate points out that Sawyer himself will be electrocuted too, but he says he will have the advantage of knowing it's coming. Kate asks about Jack and Sawyer responds with the title of the episode, "It's every man for himself."

Sawyer flashes back to life in prison, where he was apparently a pretty good boxer. As they head back to their cells, Sawyer asks the guy he just beat about the new guy, who is taking an unsanctioned beating from some thugs. The guy is named Munson and he is rumored to have ripped off the government for 10 million bucks, which was never found. Sawyer finds it intriguing that the warden keeps breaking up the fights as they make steely eye contact from afar. Later, Sawyer talks to Munson and wonders out loud how he got such an easy prison job after only a week. His theory is that Munson is being buttered up by the warden so that he can get his hands on the money.

In the present, Sawyer is pleased to see that his victim will be none other than Benry the Leader. When Ben steps in the puddle, Sawyer grabs him and starts pusing the electro-button with a stick. Unfortunately for the con man, Ben has taken the precaution of shutting the power off. Then Ben kicks his ass. When Sawyer regains consciousness, he is strapped to a table and is about to be injected in the chest with a giagantic needle. We don't get to see the deed done before a commercial break, thank goodness.

At the beach, Desmond approaches Paolo, the new guy just now emerging from the background. He is launching golf balls into the ocean with the clubs Hurley found and Desmond asks if he can take one. Paolo quips that if Des takes the five iron, which he never uses, then he won't have to go looking for it when Des dies in the jungle doing God knows what.

When Sawyer wakes up again, he is greeted by Ben holding a caged bunny. Ben shakes the cage repeatedly while yelling at the bunny, which eventually causes the bunny to have a heart attack and keel over. Even funnier, stranger and sadder than I can even describe. The point is that they have equipped Sawyer with a pacemaker which will cause his heart to explode if he overexerts himself. It's the Others' own special way of keeping him in line. Ben also mentions that if Saywer mentions this to Kate, they will do the same thing to her. He straps a watch/heart rate monitor onto Sawyer's wrist and tells him to take up yoga.

Sawyer is brought back to his cage and is immeditately put to the test. Tom has brought Kate some new clothes to change into, and Sawyer can't stop himself from sneaking a peek as she changes. He also raises her suspicions by not telling her what happened when he was taken. He can't even explain why his watch is beeping at him as he pours a bucket of water over his head.

Sawyer flashes back to when he got a visit in prison from one of his former cons. I think it's the one from his Long Con episode, but I'm too lazy to look it up. Anyway, she is the one who landed him in jail by pressing charges. She shows him a picture of a baby named Clementine and says that she is Sawyer's daughter. She asks him to write the baby a letter, but Sawyer scoffs at both writing to a baby and the notion that he even has a daughter.

In the present, Sawyer is still making Kate suspicious with every word. She thinks she can squeeze through the bars at the top of her cage, but Sawyer tells her not to bother.

Meanwhile, Jack is hearing more scratchy voices through his broken intercom, when Juliet comes to get him. She needs his help because Colleen is dying and he is a doctor.

A loud alarm sounds throughout the zoo, which prevents Kate and Sawyer from being able to make themselves heard as Jack is marched past them with a sack over his head. Ben and the other Others are not thrilled that Juliet has brought Jack to their operating room, but she feels he is their last chance to save Colleen. As Jack scrubs up he notices some X-rays on the wall, but Juliet tells him they are not Colleen's. Jack goes right to work on his new patient, easily slipping back into 'doctor during a crisis' mode. Unfortunately, there is not much he can do and it is not long before Colleen has slipped away.

Danny/Picket just lost his wife and this understandably puts him into a rage. He takes out his aggression the only way he knows how lately, by beating the crap out of Sawyer. Even though Sawyer doesn't fight back, the action is still too much for his heart and the watch starts beeping. As Danny repeatedly punches Sawyer, he godes Kate into admitting that she loves the con man. He then storms off, not even bothering to throw Sawyer back into his cage.

Back in Flashback State Pen, Sawyer has buddied up to Munson and has earned enough trust for Munson to ask for his help in moving the stolen money. Something tells me this might be exactly what Sawyer wanted.

Back in his cage and still alive, Sawyer starts to clean himself up and doesn't even bother to try and figure out what motivated the beating. Kate decides now would be a good time to try and climb out of her cage- a move Sawyer protests. She makes it out safely and without tripping an alarm and starts to beat the lock on Sawyer's cage with a rock. Sawyer grabs her by the arm and begs for her to leave him behind. This is the last straw for Kate as she wonders incredulously what they did to him. She asks for the truth for once in his life, but his only reply is that if she really loved him, she would run. Kate replies that she only said that to put an end to the beating. And with that emotional dagger, she climbs back into her cage to stick it out with Sawyer. "Live together, die alone," she says, echoing Jack.

Watching the action on Camera 5, Tom comments to Ben that Danny wants to kill Sawyer. Ben tells him that can wait. As for Jack, he can stew for a little longer, as well. Jack is handcuffed to table where Colleen's dead body still lies. Juliet enters and admits that she is a fertility doctor and has not been around death before. She thinks she should have gotten Jack sooner, but he says it wouldn't have mattered. Juliet wonders if he is just saying that to make her feel better, but he says he doesn't care how she feels. Duh! He then mentions the X-rays and thinks he has figured out why he was taken. Someone has a tumor on their spine and Jack just happens to be a spinal surgeon.

At the beach, Desmond has used the golf club and some other stuff to create a contraption that Hurley thinks is pop art. It looks more like a lightning rod to me, and soon enough, a storm begins and a bolt of lightning hits it.

Night has fallen at the zoo, or early morning rather, as Ben wakes Sawyer up with a "good morning". Apparently, he wants to show him something. Sawyer flashes back to his meeting with the warden and all is revealed. Things can never be what they seem with James Ford. He hands over the location of the 10 million dollars and is, in turn, a free man. The warden asks Sawyer what he wants to do with his share and Sawyer tells him to have it put in a fund for baby Clementine, with the stipulation that she can never know where or who the money came from.

Whatever Ben wants to show Sawyer is really far away and quite a climb. Sawyer's heart rate is getting dangerously close to critical mass. They stop close to the top of the hill so Ben can show Sawyer the rabbit, alive and well. There's no exploding pacemaker inside Sawyer after all. What Ben finds most interesting is that threatening Kate was the real trick that kept Sawyer in line, not the threat of his own death. Sawyer punches him in the face, but Ben keeps his cool, saying only that the rabbit is not what he wanted Sawyer to see.

And here's the real kicker. The Others don't live on Crazy Island- they live on a nearby seperate island, about twice the size of Alcatraz. That explains why they need to steal boats, take their captives to a pier and have a sub. Sawyer is floored, realizing that even if he escapes, there is nowhere to run.

Next time on LOST: Locke begins his rescue mission and has more problems with Mr. Eko.

The season so far...

2006-10-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

LOST recap is coming tomorrow. I know- I'm a slacker. Let's talk about television for a few, though. I've done the reading so you don't have to. Except you have to read this. The system is flawed.

SUNDAY: This night still belongs to ABC even with the loss of Grey's Anatomy. Desperate Housewives has made a creative comeback, though the rumblings are getting louder that it's slipping again. Brothers and Sisters despite the behind the scenes troubles before it even debuted has been a solid hit and holds DH's numbers better than Boston Legal ever did. (Though doesn't build on them like Grey's did.) FOX is happy with its comedy block, though they want to dump The War at Home which doesn't match the animated nature of the rest of the lineup. They have hired Robert Smigel, he of SNL's TV Funhouse and Conan's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, to create a new show. NBC is happy to be back in the football mix, but I haven't heard what they plan to do in January. At CBS, things are solid with the "Race, Case, Trace" lineup, but Amazing Race's numbers are down from the other nights it has been on. I don't think that show has ever been in the same time slot twice.

MONDAY: CBS is still untouchable with its comedy line-up, even though The Class has dropped off its initial good numbers. Might have something to do with the quality taking a nosedive. Not that I've ever seen it in the first place. FOX has seen Prison Break's ratings drop consistently (which is a shame!) and Vanished has already vanished to be replaced with Justice, which also sucks anyway. I think these shows will at least hold the fort until the 24 juggernaut returns in January. NBC has its biggest hit with Heroes (awesome show btw) but Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip has dipped way down below its premeire numbers. The good news: NBC has ordered at least three more episodes and the show is tops among "upscale" viewers. (+ $75,000 income). Bad news: A rerun of the show has been replaced by Friday Night Lights this week. Damn monkeys running the network seem to think a show about football will do well against actual football on ESPN. Psssh! I don't even know what ABC has on. They've definitely saved their best crap for other nights.

TUESDAY: ABC is doing well with DancingWith the Stars. FOX is happy with House. Standoff will be back for at least three more episodes. I don't really watch anything on this day so I haven't paid too much attention to what's happening. The one show I do watch, Veronica Mars, has improved its numbers on The CW and, though they haven't said it, there's no reason why it shouldn't be bumped up to a full season instead of the 13 originally ordered.

WEDNESDAY: The unthinkable has happened. LOST screwed with its audience too much and has "lost" it. It has been losing to freakin' Criminal Minds on CBS. The upcoming three month hiatus could be catastrophic. In other bad news, the critically acclaimed (and excellent) The Nine has been tanking (as in getting trounced by freakin' Dateline). If they are forced to cancel it as well as the too high concept Daybreak (which slips into the LOST spot) ABC may very well end up losing the very night that began their big comeback two years ago. On NBC, Kidnapped is already gone, relegated to Saturday to run its course, which is more dignity than most bombs get.

THURSDAY: CSI and Grey's Anatomy are having the biggest battle in years, finishing one and two every week and alternating who is on top. William Peterson (Grissom) will be taking a break from the show in January and will be replaced by B list movie star, Liev Schreiber. That might definitely swing things toward ABC as it's a pretty major shake up. CBS is committed to Survivor, even though it's wearing thin and they picked up a full season of Shark, even though it hasn't found an audience. ABC has the biggest new hit with Ugly Betty. NBC has settled into third with Earl and The Office holding steady and ER enjoying a resurgence in ratings. They will make a bid in November to reclaim the Must See Comedy moniker when Deal or No Deal slides out of the 9 o'clock hour to make room for 30 Rock and Scrubs. All the comedic eggs are officially in one basket now. FOX has The OC coming back, but other than that, they've lost the small foothold they once had on the night and have all but given up.

FRIDAY: CBS owns this night too, as Numbers and whatever other crap they put on continue to do well. ABC has gotten a better than expected performance from Men in Trees and it will probably make it to Season 2. NBC has another game show hit with 1 vs. 100 and it shouldn't be long before they try to fill the gaping holes in their lineup with at least one all game-show night.

SATURDAY: Still nothing on. I checked. Not even Kidnapped. Liars!

Here's this week's Top Ten:

1. Hang Me Up To Dry- Cold War Kids

2. The Pick of Destiny- Tenacious D

3. Sundress- Ben Kweller

4. Wildcat- Ratatat

5. A Pillar of Salt- The Thermals

6. Pushover- The Long Winters

7. Let Me Go- Wired All Wrong

8. Postcards From Italy- Beirut

9. Naive- The Kooks

10. I Need Some Fine Wine and You Need To Be Nicer- The Cardigans

Are you ready for some football? ...YES! STOP ASKING ME THAT!

2006-10-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

I actually made it home from work last night without finding out who won the Giants game. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Here's some observations:

-Both Manning brothers won their game by the unusual score of 36-22. A spooky coincidence just in time for Halloween.

- New Cowboys QB threw interceptions to all three facets of the Giants defense. A tip to a linebacker, a botched screen to a defensive lineman and a bad pass to a cornerback.

- In an interview, Hank Williams said he gets asked if he is ready for some football 100 times a day. He's done the song for 15 years. That means he has been asked the same question 547,500 times with another 100 coming today. He said he loves it, but he must be lying. Right?

-----

- Did you ever stand on your tip toes and wonder how much different your life would be if you were just a little bit taller? Me neither.

- You should check out Frank Caliendo's stand-up albums. He is so much better than the five minutes he gets on Fox's football pregame. I am convinced he can imitate anyone's voice. It's pretty amazing.

- Congrats to Jericho, Heroes and Shark for being picked up for a full season. Smith, Kidnapped, Runaway, we hardly knew you.

Top Ten

2006-10-21T13:59:00.000-07:00

Me: If you like pizza and you like pepperoni, why won't you try pepperoni pizza?

Kasey: Well you like tomatoes but you don't like salad!

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Sundress- Ben Kweller

2. Pushover- The Long Winters

3. A Pillar of Salt- The Thermals

4. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

5. Wildcat- Ratatat

6. Exeter, Rhode Island- Jennifer O'Connor

7. Get Myself Into It- The Rapture

8. I Need Some Fine Wine and You Need To Be Nicer- The Cardigans

9. Naive- The Kooks

10. O! Valencia- The Decemberists

LOST- Episode 51: Further Instructions

2006-10-21T06:47:00.000-07:00

Previously on LOST: Locke's actions caused massive destruction in the hatch.

This week's opening eyeball belongs to Locke. He is bloody and beaten, but alive. He finds himself lying in the jungle brush- similar to the way Jack found himself after the plane crash. Jack didn't get to see Desmond running around naked, though. Locke tries to say something to Des, but no words come out. Desmond takes off without noticing Locke. Locke stands up and almost gets nailed in the head by Mr. Eko's Jesus stick falling from the sky.

Locke returns to the beach and starts tearing down his tent. Charlie tries to talk to him, but for one, Locke is pretty focused on whatever he is building and for two, Locke has gone mute. They play a game of charades, which Charlie is not too good at, but eventually he figures out that Locke needs to speak to the island. Okay...cue creepy LOST title screen.

When Locke is done building his new little hut, he approaches Charlie and asks him (with paper and a marker) to stand guard. Charlie points out that he detests Locke, but Locke pays him no mind and asks him again to guard the "sweat lodge."

Locke flashes back to driving a pickup truck down the road in the pouring rain. He picks up a young hitchhiker on his way to Eureka. The man's name is Eddie and he is trying to get away to start a new life. His mom is dead and his dad is a drunk. Locke is almost smiling, sharing an instant bond with the stranger who, like him, has no real family. Just as the rain stops, a police officer pulls them over. Locke has guns in the back of the truck, but it's all legal so the cop has to let him go. He thinks about taking Locke in for picking up a hitchhiker, but Eddie claims that Locke is his uncle. As they get back in the truck and head off, Eddie wonders what all the guns are for.

In the present, Locke makes sure that Charlie will stand guard one last time and heads into his little tent. Once inside, Locke sits by a fire, eats some of his hallucinogenic paste that he gave to Boone in Season One and pours some hot water on his head. Almost immediately, the vision begins. Boone puts his hand on Locke's shoulder and says hi. He has a different hairstylethan when John knew him, so we know this is some crazy dream. Locke is still mute, but Vision-Boone can read lips and accepts Locke's apology for sacrificing him to the island. He tells Locke that he will be able to speak when he has something worth saying. Locke tries to stand, but his legs won't work either. Boone points to the wheelchair sitting by the fire and tells him that he will need that.

With a flash, they are at the airport. As Boone wheels Locke around, he tells him that someone is in serious danger. They begin to see the crash survivors getting ready to board the plane, only they're in bizarro world. That is, the relationships developed on the island already exist here. Charlie and Claire are together, but they are not the ones in danger...yet. Sayid can take care of Jin and Sun. Desmond can take care of himself. There's nothing Locke can do for Jack and company...yet. No, first Locke has to clean up his own mess. Boone teleports to the top of an escalator and summons Locke to crawl up there. When he does so, he sees Eko's bloody walking stick as a now bloody Boone tells him that "they've got him". Locke returns to his tent and a polar bear jumps out at him from within the fire. Locke is obviously startled and bolts out of the tent. Charlie asks him what's going on and Locke is finally able to speak. He has to save Mr. Eko.

Locke and Charlie head through the jungle, following Eko's trail of blood drops. Locke says that a polar bear dragged Eko away as they find Eko's cross. Charlie rejects the notion that Locke should go on alone. Locke, with Boone still fresh on his mind, warns Charlie that bad things happen to people who hang around with him. This statement also triggers a flashback. Locke has brought his new friend back to the cult-like happy family community where he now lives. They walk past a small tent which Locke explains is a sweat lodge. You can go in there and figure out what to do with your life. He introduces Eddie to Mike and Jan, leaders of the cult and big Geronimo Jackson fans. (You know, one of the obscure records found in Station Three on the island) John then says grace and mentions how this family is better than his real one.

Back in the present, John and Charlie find what's left of the hatch. It's a gigantic smoking hole in the ground. Not even the Geronimo Jackson album survived. There's nothing. They move on and Locke finds some polar bear hair and a fresh kill. They hear some roaring. so Locke tells Charlie to run. They take off with the bad CGI/puppet head of a polar bear right on their heels. When they stop, they hear some rustling so Locke takes out his hunting knife and throws it. He hits the canteen that Hurley is holding up to his lips. Close one. Definitely worth the first "Dude..." of the season.

As they start walking, Hurley explains what happened on the Walt rescue mission, including the fact that "Henry" is the leader. Locke tells Hurley to go back to camp and do what the Others instructed him to do. Hurley is surprised, so Charlie pulls him aside and tells him about Eko and the Bear, which is a much more dangerous situation than Echo and the Bunnymen. Of course, this only serves to frighten Hurley about the prospect of continuing on alone.

Locke and Charlie continue to follow the trail of white hair, which leads them to a cave. Locke flashes back to community life, which Eddie has become a full part of. The only problem is he asks way too many questions about the secret greenhouse he must never enter. Eddie keeps pressing about it until Locke agrees to talk to Jan and Mike.

In the present, Locke puts mud all over himself so that the Predator can't see him and instructs Charlie to stay outside. Then he lights his torch and enters the cave of destiny. You just know when he chops Vader's head off, it's going to be his own face he sees inside the helmet.

Hurley is also continuing on his journey but is getting scared at every little noise. "Bear, is that you?" he asks nervously. But it's not. It's Naked Desmond- which is more disturbing than scary. Hurley offers him a XXXL shirt and wonders how the hatch implosion blew off Desmond's underwear. Desmond doesn't have answers- he just woke up like that.

In the cave, Locke proceeds cautiously, passing the time by flashing back. He enters the greenhouse to find Mike and Jan frantically packing up all the marijuana and stolen money they can. They are pretty mad at John for bringing Eddie the Undercover Cop into the fold. Locke is confused even as he sees the physical evidence that he has been duped. He says it's not too late to fix the mess and convinces Mike and Jan to not run away. For the moment.

Deeper in the cave, Locke finds a lot of animal bones as well as a bloodied and battered Mr. Eko. The polar bear is there to guard his captured prey, so Locke uses hairspray to blow his torch flame into the bear's face and win the day. He drags Eko out of the cave and gets Charlie to help carry their unconscious friend away.

Elsewhere, Desmond explains about the failsafe key. Hurley explains about what happened to the island when Des did that, like the big noise and bright lights. When he mentions Jack, Desmond says not to worry because Locke is going to save them, as he mentioned in his big speech. Hurley is confused since Locke didn't say anything like that, which makes Desmond confused as well. Confusion abounds.

As they carry Eko on their shoulders, Locke tells Charlie how he saw Vision-Boone and about how he was told to clean up his own mess. This causes Locke to flash back to a the big confrontation with Eddie. They are in the woods under the guise of going hunting, but soon Locke is pointing a gun at his former friend. He forces Eddie to admit that Locke was the target mark because he is amenable to coercion. Fancy words for "you're a sucker." (Tell us something we don't know!) John is upset, but no matter how many times he is deceived in life, he is still not a killer. Eddie is able to walk away from the standoff as Locke just stands there with tears in his eyes, unable to pull the trigger.

In the present, they stop to rest and Charlie goes off to get Eko some water. Locke uses the alone time to apologize to the unconscious Eko for losing his faith in the island. He blames himself for the capture of their friends because if he had let Eko push the button, he could have gone on the Walt mission and protected and saved them. Eko is awake now and tells him that there is still time to protect and save them. Charlie returns to the good news that Eko is awake, but when they turn back to him, Eko is not awake in any sense. More island trickery.

They return to camp and are greeted by Claire and two people who have speaking parts, but no names yet. Must be the names in the opening credits that I didn't recognize. Hurley bears the bad news (no pun intended) that Jack is not coming back. This is when Locke stands up to make his big speech about how he is going to go out and rescue them. Hurley stares at Desmond off in the distance and is stunned into silence by the eerie premonition his new friend made. Charlie wonders what's going on and Hurley explains it as deja vu. I wrote this while watching the internet stream and it wants me to remind you that Deja Vu is coming soon to a theater near you.

Next time on LOST- It turns out that the Others are really just a bunch of hardcore Kate/Sawyer shippers who want some answers, damn it!

LOST- Episode 50: The Glass Ballerina

2006-10-15T08:48:00.000-07:00

Previously on LOST: Jack, Sawyer and Kate were captured by the Others.

The show opens with the glass ballerina of the title tumbling to the floor and shattering. A little Asian girl runs away in horror at what she has just done. Later, when she is done practicing the piano, her father walks in holding a trash bag of broken glass. He questions L'il Sun about what happened and she says the maid did it. She sticks to her guns even after Dad tells her the maid will have to be fired.

In the present, Sun is on Desmond's boat suffering from some morning sickness. Jin calls her above deck to translate. He wants her to tell Sayid it's time to go home because Jack is clearly not coming. Sayid thinks Jack can't see the smoke because of a mountain and wants to head north to light a new signal fire. Sun agrees with Sayid which angers Jin. He is going to sail them home because he is the only one who can sail, but Sun tells Sayid that is not true.

In Jack's aquatic cell, Juliet brings him some soup, but he is being particularly non-responsive, probably lost in some more flashbacks we are not privy to. Outside the cell, Juliet knocks on a door and Ben emerges from a surveillance room. He comments that Juliet never made soup for him. AnOther woman comes down the ladder to alert them of a situation. The "Iraqi" found the decoy village and he has a sail boat. Ben thinks for a moment before commanding Colleen to put a team together. "I want that boat," he says coldly. Cue creepy LOST title screen.

At the zoo, Sawyer wins another fish biscuit, just cause he can, but his celebration is ended by the Others leading him and Kate out of their cages at gunpoint.

Over on the boat, Sun apologizes to her husband for disagreeing with him in front of Sayid, but he thinks she shouldn't have disagreed, period. Sun flashes back to being in bed with Jae, the hotel heir/English teacher and instantly everything we think we know about Sun changes. Forget all that stuff last season about her being true to Jin and the island making a baby by magic- turns out Sun is just a sociopathic liar. Jae wants to run away with Sun and presents her with a pearl necklace ( um, the kind you can show on network television). Unfortunately, they are interrupted by a knock on the door. Sun's Daddy is here and is none too pleased with Sun's betrayal.

Kate and Sawyer are led to a labor camp and instructed to start digging rocks out of the ground and haul them away. The leader appears particularly grumpy and warns them not to do anything to piss him off. Kate demands to see Jack, which earns Sawyer a shock from the stun gun.

Back in the past, Sun's Daddy calls Jin into his office and shows him a picture of Jae. "This man has been stealing from me," he says. Dad wants the situation taken care of and warning will not suffice. Jin doesn't like the implication and is forced to resign. Dad plays a different card at that point and calls Jin his son. He urges him to restore the family honor by avenging the shame that has been brought on them.

On the boat, Sayid and friends reach the dock where their friends were taken and Michael went home from. Sayid decided this would be a good place to start the new fire.

At the labor camp, Kate is distracted by a young girl calling to her from a hiding place in the bushes. It is Alex Rousseau and she wants to know if Kate has seen Carl in her cage. Kate has not, which disappoints Alex. She tells Kate that she is wearing her dress but she can keep it. And with that, she is gone.

Sayid and Sun begin to build a bonfire and Sun reveals that she knows Sayid has been lying about his plans. Sayid confesses that he believes Jack's team has been captured and he wants to lure the Others into a trap to question and/or kill them.

Sun flashes back to dinner with her husband. He tells her about his day and about the meeting with her father. Sun is just as tired of Dad's antics as Jin is and suggests that they run away. Jin thinks Dad has the resources to find them no matter where they go. They argue about the sacrifices it takes to be married before Jin stalks off to "deliver the message".

In the present, Jin approaches Sayid and asks for a gun. Sayid plays dumb, so Sun comes over to translate. Apparently, Jin knows what is really going on because he can understand more English than they thought. He also casually mentions that he knows Sun betrayed him. Sayid hands over a gun, but before he can instruct Jin on how to use it, Jin has the thing locked and loaded like a pro. Sayid then tells Sun she will be safer on the boat and reveals where the last gun is hidden on board.

At the work camp, Juliet tosses Sawyer a canteen, but he just dumps in on the ground with a smirk. Still feeling rebellious, he marches over to Kate and starts frenching her. The Others come over to break it up, but Sawyer wins the fight and gains control of a rifle. Before he can make any more moves, Juliet appears at Kate's side with a gun pointed at her. Forgetting momentarily that Kate is a known bad-ass who might be able to fight out of the situation, Sawyer immediately surrenders meekly. Then he gets the hell shocked out of him.

Night has fallen on the jungle as Sayid and Jin lay in wait. Inside the boat, Sun hears ominous footsteps coming from above deck.

In the past, Jin sees his target and beats the holy hell out of Jae inside a hotel room. Jin points a gun at Jae's head but can't go through with this deadly sin. He angrily commands Jae to leave the country and cease to exist. Outside, Jin gets into his car just as Jae crashes onto it in an apparent suicide. In his hand, he is clutching the pearls he bought for Sun.

The Others are on board Desmond's boat now and Colleen climbs down into the kitchen to find Sun pointing a gun at her. She claims to know all about Sun and that she is not a killer, but her fatal mistake is to not stop stepping forward. Sun shoots her right in the gut and tries to make an escape. The fire fight alerts Sayid and Jin to what is going on. They go racing toward the boat as it starts to pull away from the dock. Sun rolls into the water as bullets fly at her and a horrified Jin dives in after her. The Others escape with the boat, but that doesn't matter at the moment as husband and wife find each other in the water and embrace with relief.

Sun flashes back to when she attended Jae's funeral from afar. Her Dad sees her and tells her to go home to her husband. (He was there because he did business with Jae's father) Sun asks if he will ever tell Jin and he angrily responds that it is not his place. In the present, Jin and Sun dry off and Jin tells her that he doesn't know what he would do without her or the baby. Sayid apologizes for not listening to Jin in the first place. Now they have a long walk home.

Safely back in their zoo cages, Sawyer and Kate have a discussion about how scared most of the Others looked when Sawyer took control of the rifle. Most of them have seen no real action, though Sawyer is convinced that the woman we know as Juliet would have killed Kate without blinking. They make a plan to wait for a mistake and jump on it.

Unfortunately, they just made a mistake themselves because Ben is watching them from his surveillance room and he even has audio. He then mosies into Jack's cell and pulls up a chair. He is amused that a week ago he and Jack were in opposite positions but Jack is still too catatonic to find the humor. Ben explains why he had to lie about who he was, which finally stirs Jack enough to ask what the man wants. Ben says he wants to change Jack's perspective. He extends his hand and introduces himself as Benjamin Linus, lifelong island resident, but Jack refuses to shake.

As Ben asks for something to be brought in, Jack asks about Kate and Sawyer. "Now why Kate and Sawyer and not Sawyer and Kate?" Ben asks. Just kidding. He says they are fine and close. A television of all things is wheeled into the room at that point and Ben says that if Jack cooperates, he can go home. Jack chuckles with disbelief at the very notion of going home, as if he doesn't even believe that's where Michael and Walt went. He wants to know why the Others would even be there if they could leave at any point. To prove that he has contact with the outside world, Ben tells Jack that George Bush was re-elected, Christopher Reeve died and the Red Sox won the World Series. Jack, remembering his father's old saying, really laughs at that last nonsensical notion. That is until Ben shows him a videotape of Fox's coverage of the Red Sox actually capturing the championship. You know, you don't have to watch LOST right now, you could be watching Fox's stellar coverage of the baseball playoffs. As Jack is stunned into silence by what he is watching, Ben tells him that if he does what he is told when the time is right, he can go home. Think about that, doctor!

Next time on LOST: Locke is alive! And so is the seldom seen security system.

Happy Birthday you stupid, stupid journal!

2006-10-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

-Sorry recap fans. It's coming. Excuse for Thursday: I didn't feel like using my whole free morning before work to do it. Excuse for Friday: I got to the last scene and the whole thing deleted when I hit backspace. Undo was not an option for some reason. I will do it over tonight, when I am not so mad.

-Today is my journal's second birthday. Hooray, journal. Maybe that's why he deleted Lost- he knew I didn't get him anything. (My journal is a boy.)

- I don't really have a favorite song this week so I'd thought I'd compile a list of ten electronica, dancy type songs I like. In the order I think of them:

Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above- CSS

Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

Stalking You on Myspace- John B

Eanie Meany- Jim Noir

Get Myself Into it- The Rapture

Monster Hospital- Metric

Wildcat- Ratatat

That's only seven. Deal with it, yo. Captain Cranky is mad at his journal- on its birthday. (I just took away its boyhood. Maybe you'll think about being castrated the next time you want to delete something!)

MONEY!

2006-10-08T17:06:00.000-07:00

GO CHARGERS!

Here's the current situation vis a vis me winning $250 dollars in my cousin's weekly NFL pool:

The leader has 10, I have 9. If the Chargers win, we will both have 10. We both picked the Denver on Monday night so the tie-breaker is the total score of Monday's game. I picked 20 and he picked 38. There's also 5 people who have both Sunday night and Monday night's game different than the current leader so let's just hope Baltimore doesn't win because that would just make a big fustercluck. :-)

Top Ten

2006-10-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Smile- Lily Allen

2. Get Myself Into It- The Rapture

3. Sundress- Ben Kweller

4. Pillar of Salt- Thermals

5. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

6. The Pick of Destiny- Tenacious D

7. Chips Ahoy- The Hold Steady

8. Mr. Tough- Yo La Tengo

9. Love You in the Fall- Paul Westerberg

10. Bang Bang, You're Dead- Dirty Pretty Things

Captain Cranky's Quick Hits:

- How come all the really good jobs always have people performing them that you KNOW you can do a better job than? Sports coach, TV network programmer, game show host, etc.

- How come you can buy cordless phones and cars that beep and tell you where they are at the push of a button, but I can't get that technology installed into the TV remote?

- How about we just make it officially the Christmas season year-round. I used to think it was ridiculous for stores to have their holiday stuff out the day after Halloween, but now they don't even wait. At Target, the Christmas stuff is one aisle over from the Halloween stuff.

LOST- Episode 49: A Tale of Two Cities

2006-10-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

Previously on LOST: The Others did a lot of stuff to our heroes, up to and including capturing Jack, Kate and Sawyer.

Things kick off with an old school first season-style opening eyeball. It belongs to a woman we don't know. She selects a CD from her collection and begins to sing along to "Downtown." Before she can forget all her troubles, the smoke alarm goes off and she rushes to the kitchen. Her muffins are burning and in her hurry to save them, she burns her hands and drops them all over the floor. A friendly neighbor stops by and is surprised that there is still a man under her house working on the plumbing. Unseen, he comments that it is a work in progress. And then the book club begins. For the second straight season premeire, I am left wondering if I am watching the right show. Suddenly, the ground begins to shake and when the earthquake subsides, everyone runs outside to see what is going on. The plumber under the house is none other than Ethan Rom and now we start to get a sense of what is going on. The suburbanites look up to see a plane break into pieces and crash a few miles away. The man we know as "Henry Gale" quickly instructs Ethan and Goodwin to get going for some undercover operations. He wants lists in three days. After the men set off, "Henry" looks at our woman, sees her holding a Stephen King book and comments that he is out of the club. The camera pans back and shows the Others little gated community set snug amongst the deeper landscape of Crazy Island. So the Others are desperate housewives. Who knew?

In case there was anyone out there who still liked Jack, our first flashback of the season is a brief one of Jack stalking his presumed ex-wife. He watches from his car while she happily jokes around with another man. Jack snaps out of this memory abruptly and finds himself lying on a table in a dank room. He tries to walk to the door, but smashes into the wall of glass which is containing him. He tries kicking and yelling, but of course, neither of those things work as far as escape plans go.

Elsewhere, Kate awakens in a public shower and finds Tom, the beardless wonder hovering over her. Instead of answering her questions, he instructs her to take a hot shower. When she refuses to undress in front of him, he comments that she is not his type and leaves with a chuckle.

Somewhere else, Sawyer awakens on the dirty ground and finds himself in what can only be described as a cage in a zoo. He sees a young man in the cage across from him with his back turned. He calls to him, but gets no answer. Turning his attention elsewhere, Sawyer sees a large red button with a knife and fork painted on it, so naturally, he decides to press it. It makes a big racket and a recording of a woman says WARNING but there is no food. He presses it again and the same thing happens. The boy speaks up and warns Sawyer not to do that. Sawyer scoffs at being told what to do, but when he presses the button a third time, he is blasted off of his feet by a shockwave. "Told you," the boy says.

Back in the dungeon, Jack climbs onto the table and begins to yank hard on a chain hanging from the ceiling. A woman enters the room on the other side of the glass and tells him to stop. Her name is Juliette. We know her as the woman from the book club.

Jack flashes back to a meeting with his soon to be ex-wife, Sarah. She asks where his lawyer is and he says that he fired him. Jack apologizes and seems ready to make amends and save the marriage. Unfortunately, he is interrupted by Sarah's cell phone. She takes the call and seems happy about who is on the other end. When she is done, Jack asks who the new man is, but Sarah won't tell him. He says she can have all of their worldly possessions in exchange for the new man's name. Seems like a good deal, but for some reason, Sarah won't take it and walks away.

Back in the present, Juliette tries talking to Jack, but he is kind of angry about the situation he is in. She has a seat and tries to wait out his stubborn chain yanking.

Shower complete, Kate can't seem to find her clothes. There is a note on one of the lockers that says Wear This. Like a good little Alice in Wonderland, Kate puts on the sundress she finds inside, even though she doesn't seem to like it. Tom comes back to tell her that "he" is waiting. Kate is then led by Tom and an armed escort to a gazebo on the beach. "Henry" is there waiting for her and he offers her coffee and breakfast. Of course she has to handcuff herself pretty tightly, but other than that, it's rather pleasant. When she asks why the Others captured her only to bathe her and feed her, "Henry" replies that he wanted her to have some nice memories to hold on to because the next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant for her.

In his office of the past, Jack tries getting to the bottom of the mystery of his wife's lover by calling every number in her cell phone. Dear old dad enters and tells him to stop. You know, John Terry has a good agent. This is a pretty juicy role for a character that's been dead since the first episode. Jack's dad has been on this show more than Walt. Anyway, Jack calls the next number and his father's cell phone ring. With that, Jack begins to understand why Sarah might want to protect the identity of her new man. "Let it go," is Dad's humble advice.

Back in the dungeon, Jack hears a lot of static coming from the intercom on the wall. The words of the past echo through the speaker as Dad repeats that Jack should let it go. Juliette reenters and tells Jack that the intercom hasn't worked in years. She has brought him some officially licensed Dharma Initiative Water and a sandwich. She instructs him to sit against the wall so she can open the door and give him the food, but Jack won't do it. He would rather have answers than food, so he gets neither.

Back in the zoo, Sawyer has noted that his cage has some other buttons and levers and is trying to flex his problem solving muscles. The boy across the way calls to him and asks him how long it would take to get back to Sawyer's camp. Sawyer is slightly amused and continues to work on his levers. When he turns around, the boy's cage is open and he is gone. The boy comes over and picks Sawyer's lock as well, instructing him to run in the opposite direction as him. With the alarm sounding, they both take off. The first person Sawyer encounters is Juliette, who calmly takes a dart gun out of her back pocket and shoots him down. Dazed, he is dragged back to his cage by Juliette and Tom. Once safely locked back inside, Tom grabs the boy, who he calls Carl, by the hair and instructs him to apologize for involving Sawyer in the escape attempt.

Back in the dungeon, Juliette really wants Jack to eat something. He reluctantly and wordlessly agrees to sit down against the wall so she can open the door. Jack flashes back to the hopsital where he can't focus on his job because Dad is in his peripheral vision, taking a cell phone call and acting way too happy about who is on the other end. Suspicious, Jack, still in his surgical scrubs, follows Dad to a hotel. He busts into the room his father enters and demands to see the cell phone. This really causes quite a scene at the AA meeting. The moderator explains what is going on and that Dad has told them all about Jack, but this doesn't help. Jack confronts Dad about Sarah, but really comes off more as a maniacal lunatic the longer this goes on. Finally, things culminate in a physical attack which makes it officially, the best AA meeting ever!

When the door to the dungeon opens, Jack springs up and knocks Juliette off her feet. He takes control of her, holds a knife to her throat and demands to know the way out. He instructs her to open a large metal door, but she insists that they will die if she does. "Henry" stops by to back up her story. Jack tosses her aside and decides to open it himself. "Henry" sees this and runs for it, closing a door behind him and locking both Jack and Juliette inside. When Jack gets his own door open, a rush of water comes flooding in and quickly overtakes everything. Together, Jack and Juliette manage to get the door closed again and save themselves. Then Juliette punches her captive and knocks him out.

Back at the zoo, Sawyer reaches through the bars and retrieves a large rock. He uses this to hold down a button at his feet. Then he hits the food button and throws his boot at a lever near the ceiling. Happy music plays and the recorded woman announces a reward. The reward is: an officially licensed big dog biscuit shaped like a fish. Whoo hoo!!! Hey, it's still a reward, so Sawyer starts to eat it. Just then, Tom leads Kate into the cage formerly occupied by Carl. Tom is impressed that Sawyer got a fish biscuit, but comments that the bears did it in only two hours. When he leaves, Sawyer and Kate get caught up and share some tender longing in their eyes. Sawyer even tosses her his biscuit because that's how sweet he is on her.

Jack wakes up in his dungeon cell, back to square one. He has figured out that he is in a Dharma station aquarium underwater. Juliette says it is called the Hydra but when pressed about the Dharma Initiative, she says that it was a long time ago. Moving on, Juliette has a file in front of her which contains Jack's whole life. She even has a copy of his father's autopsy report! When he realizes that she really does have everything, he starts to ask about Sarah. Juliette asks him what he wants to know.

Jack flashes back to being released from jail because Sarah posted his bail. She says she got a drunken call from his dad about where Jack was and came to help. Then she abruptly walks out. Jack follows her out the door and sees a man waiting for her across the street. He really wants to know that man's name, but Sarah won't tell him. What difference does it make? she would like to know. She tells him about how drunk his dad was and adds that now he has something to fix. And with that, the marriage is over.

In the present, Jack asks if Sarah is happy and Julitte replies with a smile that yes, she is very happy. Jack can no longer hold back the tears and is so broken down that Juliette can now safely bring him his food. After she exits, she sees "Henry" waiting for her. "Good work," he tells her. "Thank you, Ben," is her reply. No, thank you, Juliette! Now I don't have to use annoying quotations for the leader. His name is Benry Gale. The End.

Next time on LOST: Sayid. Jin and Sun go on the offensive to save their friends leading to Sun getting shot and killed. Just kidding... I think.

It's Not Me, It's You...You're Better

2006-09-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

This morning, Kate, my physical therapist, broke up with me. She said my prescription was expiring and I had made enough progress to not warrant a new one. It's true that my right hand is almost completely better but my left still bothers me a lot and I thought the therapy was helping it along. She said if it is still bothering me in a few weeks to give her a call. I think we both know I will never call. A clean break is for the best. I'm off to have a big bowl of ice cream.

Kate, I will miss your massages and talking about Prison Break on Tuesdays.

This week's Top Twenty:

1. Smile- Lily Allen

2. Alive With the Glory of Love- Say Anything

3. Get Myself Into It- The Rapture

4. Love You in the Fall- Paul Westerberg

5. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

6. Sundress- Ben Kweller

7. Hate (I Really Don't Like You)- Plain White T's

8. Wildcat- Ratatat

9. Your Touch- The Black Keys

10. Pushover- The Long Winters

11. Bang Bang, You're Dead- Dirty Pretty Things

12. Cobrastyle- Teddybears

13. Well Thought Out Twinkles- Silversun Pickups

14. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

15. Penny on the Train Track- Ben Kweller

16. I Don't Feel Like Dancin'- Scissor Sisters

17. Chips Ahoy- The Hold Steady

18. Stay- Small Sins

19. This Time- DJ Shadow

20. Idecide- What Made Milwaukee Famous

I <3 Veronica

2006-09-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

If you can't wait until Tuesday, you can watch the entire Season Three premeire of Veronica Mars right here:

MSN video

The VCH Reviews "Feast"

2006-09-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

I picked up the new Entertainment Weekly that came in the mail on Friday and saw a short one page article that shocked and dismayed me. The Project Greenlight movie, Feast, that was one of the first distribution victims of the Miramax/Disney/Weinstein divorce was being dumped by its new studio. Dumped meaning that it was only being shown in a limited number of thateres ONE TIME ONLY AT MIDNIGHT. I immediately checked the newspaper to see if Albany's little arthouse theater, The Spectrum, was showing it and they were. As a fan of Project Greenlight and horror films, I pateintly waited through pushback after pushback for a year and a half to see this movie and I wasn't going to miss it. It was a good thing I had picked up that magazine, which I only do half the time.

Having said that, the movie was disappointingly mediocre. It was not good enough to be a good movie and it wasn't bad enough to be a good bad movie. Anytime there was action on screen, it sped up into fast motion and confusing quick cuts. I know this was to cover the measly million dollar budget, but it's still annoying to not be entirely sure what's going on. It looked pretty good for such a shoestring budget, but you can just tell how much better it could have been if they had gotten behind it a little more. If Wes Craven had made this himself instead of sticking it on a reality show, it could have been better.

I think the biggest problem, other than budget, was that the script was just all over the place. I think Project Greenlight should have been about picking the amateur director and not also about picking amateur screenwriters. You can probably survive one or the other, but the movie could not survive both. The movie would have been perfect as a "wink wink" this is only a movie type movie. And it starts out promisingly enough, as every time a character shows up, the screen freezes and there's a mini-bio including life expectancies such as, "dead in 70 minutes". Jason Mewes was even listed as himself Occupation: Actor, Life Expectancy: Already exceeded. Later, a character mentions that they should be careful because no had died horribly in a while. These parts are good, but they are too far in between. The terrible script and budget and acting do not allow for things to be presented too seriously, and yet the mood tries too hard to be tense when they should have just stuck with campy. It would have been perfect as pure camp, but it strays too far and since it tried to be a real movie, I have to grade it as such and give it a C.

Not a correction

2006-09-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

The name of yesterday's entry was a reference to that Spanish soccer announcer who shouts for a minute straight when someone scores. The Spanish word for goal is gol. I would never make a spelling error that egregious! And yes, I did reach my goal of being under 200 lbs. Since I still look pretty fat, I've set the next goal at high school weight, which was 170.

-----

This Week's Top Ten:

1. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

2. Cobrastyle- Teddybears

3. Get Myself Into It- The Rapture

4. Your Touch- The Black Keys

5. Hate (I Really Don't Like You)- Plain White T's

6. Penny On The Train Track- Ben Kweller

7. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

8. O Valencia!- The Decemberists

9. Half Dead- The Mountain Goats

10. Well Thought Out Twinkles- Silversun Pickups

---

Captain Cranky

It's well documented (by me) that I was upset about missing the World Series of Pop Culture. (And even more upset when I found out that my cousin, my partner of choice, KNEW about it and didn't act! DOH!) So, needless to say, I was intrigued when my wife told me about AOL's Gold Rush- use your pop culture knowledge to win a spot on a game show! So I played, and you know what? It's nauseating. It's not so much a challenge to see who knows the most about pop culture, it's more like a challenge to see who can be the most obedient consumer. The whole game is a gigantic ad! Everytime I do a puzzle of a Coke ad, or scour People Magazine's website trying to find the page that has an answer on it, it makes me feel dirty! BOO to AOL for this hideous offense of a "game". I will not be winning.

GOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!!!!

2006-09-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

199!

Monday Morning Quarterback

2006-09-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

Woooo! What a comeback by the Giants. I got ten of my picks right and only five wrong. Unfortunately, the people I'm trying to catch up to got eleven. Grrr!

Not all of my picks worked out yesterday. I totally got burned by The Amazing Race. I tried to change up my usual picking style and try something new, but of course, the usual standards held up and my picks ended up looking dumb.

First, I almost opened my mouth to say the Muslim guys would be first out. Not because they're Muslim, but because they're chubby. But I held off and ended up taking the chubby black ladies. Wrong! The Muslims were the first ones out, even if it was in unfair fashion.

Then, my Alpha males had to go and say they were recovering drug addicts which made me think maybe they weren't Alpha males, so I didn't pick them and randomly went with the Indian couple. So what happens? The drug addicts finish first at the first stop and the Indians are last and eliminated! I'm so humiliated! This is the first time in TAR history where I have no team to root for. I've always had my insta-pick make it to at least the halfway point. Obviously, this is the worst I've ever done.

The Big Friday Entry...on Saturday!

2006-09-16T03:30:00.000-07:00

For reasons beyond my control, I couldn't write in my journal yesterday. See, I got my Playstation working, so that eats up a lot of my time.

MUSIC

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

2. Cobrastyle- Teddybears

3. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

4. Love Me or Hate Me- Lady Sovereign

5. Penny on the Train Track- Ben Kweller

6. Hate (I Really Don't Like You)- Plain White T's

7. Bang Bang, You're Dead- Dirty Pretty Things

8. Get Myself Into It- The Rapture

9. Your Touch- The Black Keys

10. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

11. The Compromise- The Format

12. Well Thought Out Twinkles- Silversun Pickups

13. Stalking You on Myspace- John B

14. LDN- Lily Allen

15. Better- Regina Spektor

16. Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above- CSS

17. Long Distance Call- Phoenix

18. Alive With the Glory of Love- Say Anything

19. Stay- Small Sins

20. Suzie- Boy Kill Boy

It's the time of year where I start getting excited about composing my end of the year Best of (Insert Year) music list. Actually, I'm always excited about that because I'm a big loser. :-) Now that I have the ability to post songs in here, I am definitely going to bring back my annual 50 songs in 50 days, even though I have never been able to stay focused on it for the duration. But I'm really going to try this year!

There's a promo on Sirius 26 Left of Center that says "We're not music snobs, we're music geeks!" So true. Though I'm probably both.

------------

FOOTBALL

I feel really good about my football picks and you know what that means. I am going to do very poorly this Sunday. Here they are anyway:

Ravens (-11) over Raiders- The Raiders looked like the worst team in football last Monday. Now on a short week they have to travel across the country. A recipe for a damn ugly game.

Colts (-13) over Texans- Only one week in the books and already it looks like Houston not taking Reggie Bush is the stupidest move in the history of sports. Like the Red Sox getting rid of Babe Ruth bad.

Browns (+10.5) over Bengals- I can't explain this one. I just have a feeling. That doesn't happen too often and it probably means nothing other than "I'm dumb" but I can't help it. I have a feeling.

Bills (+6.5) over Dolphins- Culpepper proved in Pittsburgh that a new uniform didn't improve his erratic play. I think the Bills will be motivated by their close but no cigar performance in New England last week.

Lions (+8.5) over Bears- Lot of red flags in this one, especially stupid Roy Williams guaranteeing victory (and also saying his team almost scored 40 last week when they actually scored 6 and lost). Still, I think the over/under on this game should be 8, not the line.

Vikings (+2) over Panthers- The Panthers are nothing without Steve Smith. I'm assuming he's not playing, which might bite me.

Giants (+3) over Eagles- Homer pick. The Giants schedule is so unfairly brutal that I could seriously see them being the most talented 5-11 team in history.

And here it is: Colts (arguably the best team), at Philly (tough division rival), at Seattle (Super Bowl team last season), Redskins (division rival), at Atlanta (playoff caliber), at Dallas (tough division rival and 4th road trip in 6 games), Buccaneers (playoff team), Texans (bad team, but the Giants lost to them the only other time they played), Bears (playoff team), at Jacksonville (playoff team), at Tennessee (bad team, but still a road game which is never a gimmee), Cowboys (division rival), at Carolina (playoff team), Eagles (division rival), Saints (Reggie Bush!), at Washington (division rival).

Excuse me, I may have to cry.

Falcons (-5.5) over Bucs- No reason other than the Falcons won last week and the Bucs lost. That kind of reasoning never works out! Um...until now!

Packers (+2) over Saints- Yes, the Pack stinks, but I can't see the Saints winning two road games in a row. They're still the Saints!

Rams (-3) over 49ers- No comment. That's not sarcasm, I just can't think of anything.

Seahawks (-7) over Cardinals- I'm on the Arizona bandwagon, but I don't see them being good enough to compete in the NFC champ's house.

Patriots (-6) over Jets- A lot of experts think the Jets can compete because they won last week and the Patriots looked bad in their own win. Don't be fooled. It's the freaking Jets. They may have gotten their ONLY win last week.

Chargers (-11.5) over Titans- The Titans may have had some fight at home against a bad Jets team, but they can't compete on the road with a good team.

Broncos (-10.5) over Chiefs- Money in the bank! The Chiefs are in real trouble without their quarterback.

Cowboys (-5.5) over Redskins- I think the Boys will remember what happened at home against Washington last year (they dominated the game but lost on two long passes late in the game). Also, Washington is still trying to get a newly installed offense down pat, as shown by their LACK of offense.

Jaguars (pick em) over Steelers- I'm hoping Big Ben doesn't play because I would love to bet against Charlie Batch on the road, but even if Ben plays, I still like the Jags. They are quietly one of the best teams in the league.

----------

CAPTAIN CRANKY

You know what's been bugging the hell out of me? The cell phones that attach to your ear. The first time I saw one, I thought it was some fancy, trying to make hearing aids hip kind of thing. But when I started seeing them over and over, I realized what it was. There just can't be that many escaped mental patients talking to themselves in one Target.

Besides the fact that it makes you look like you're talking to yourself, the thing is just tacky. It looks really stupid. I can see wearing one in the car because it gives you the hands free capability, but walking around the store...it's just....stupid.

Are you ready for some football?

2006-09-13T07:38:00.000-07:00

Here I am with what's becoming a rare mid-week check-in. I've been meaning to write but, as usual, there are not enough hours in the day.

In case you didn't hear, the NFL started this past weekend. It felt pretty good being able to relax and watch the games without having to use vacation time from work to do it. Or to have to leave for work at halftime like last year. I will never again work the weekend night shift.

Anyway, I got absolutely smoked my first week of picking. I had been meaning to log and explain my picks here, but I'm glad I didn't. I am already 5 games behind after going 5-11. It was mostly the little things that got me like the 49ers kicking a FG at the end to cover the spread or the Colts doing the same thing to the Giants. Of course, who could have known that the week I decide to play it safe and take mostly home teams would be the week the Patriots, Chiefs, Buccaneers, and Redskins would decide to play some of the worst football ever. Way to show up for the big home opener, boys.

Everything else I wanted to talk about either I can't remember or it doesn't seem that interesting now that I've sat down to write it. So catch ya later.

Captain Cranky

2006-09-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

Have you ever taken a step back from yourself and just realized- Hey, I'm in a bad mood! What's up with that?

See, I recorded the NFL's opening game last night while I was at work and spent all night hoping I wouldn't overhear anything. Then on the way home, I popped in a CD just in case a DJ might talk about it. Then this morning I didn't enter the kitchen because I know my father watches Sportscenter and again, I didn't want to hear anything. But then I got called by my wife and I said, 'I don't want to come because I was watching the game and don't want to go near the TV in the kitchen'. My dad thought I said that I DID want to know what happened- and the rest is history. Seems silly now that this is what I was mad about, but people have been way more upset about way stupider things I am sure.

So I had my morning plans spoiled... but then, about an hour later, I realized how stupid it was to be mad. Then I further realized that maybe only sleeping 4-5 hours a night and routinely going 16-24 hours without eating anything is probably a major contributor to my mood. I like my job, but I will have to get a better handle on what it does to me.

As I watched the football game in triple fast forward, I even further realized that I had been spared a whole lot of grief. I hate the Steelers! Well, not the team, but their fans.

And so that's how I've decided to channel my cranky rage. Every Friday is going to be Captain Cranky Day in The VCH.

WHY I HATE STEELERS FANS

by Captain Cranky

I hate Steelers fans because they do not confine themselves to Pittsburgh. At least with the Cowboys, you can argue that before the league blew up in popularity, markets that didn't have a team showed them so that's why they have fans everywhere. I buy that...slightly. But every Steeler fan that lives in Albany, NY or Bergen County, NJ or Sarasota, FL or Lincoln, NE is only a "fan" of the team because they've been winning. And some of them say, "Oh, I've been a fan of them since the 70's." Well, gee, isn't that around the time they were winning every other Super Bowl. What a coincidence that that was the exact time you started liking them!

But that reason is not exclusive to the Pittsburgh Steelers or football for that matter. There's more.

The Steeler fan is arrogant and obnoxious and takes ridiculous sports obsessions to a higher, or more accurately, a lower level. Now I love football and I love the NY Giants, but I can distance myself from them. I don't feel the need to define myself through the team. I try not to use "we" when talking about the Giants...

I just sat here for ten minutes massaging my temples. I've decided I can't even put into words why the Steelers fans bug me so much. I know every team in every sport has its obnoxious superfans who are so in your face and care way too much, but with the Steelers, ugh, I don't know. I know what it is about local fans- it's that you should not identify so closely with a place you've never even been to. Show some civic pride! You live in the place where the NY Giants hold training camp. There shouldn't be local bars that cater only to Pittsburgh fans, but somehow there is. Somehow the Steelers have taken on this false hard-working, blue-collar everyman persona and it makes me angry. Everyone on that team is a millionaire just like on every other team. They're not "just like you and me" and for their silly fans to say that the Steelers winning is some kind of anti-establishment victory for the little guys is ridiculous.

The Steeler fan is more selfish and self-centered than any other fans I've met. As I said, I am a Giants fan, but I am firstly a football fan and have a vast knowledge of the game which I put to good use when discussing the league. I can talk to anyone about football and about their team regardless of who they root for. A Steelers fan does not want to talk about football. A Steelers fan only wants to talk about the Steelers. Try as I might, I have never been able to steer a football conversation with a Steelers fan away from their team for more than three minutes. If it doesn't relate to the black and gold, then it doesn't matter to them. I guess that's part of the ridiculous obsession I mentioned. They shun peripheral knowledge of their favorite sport to remain tunnel-visioned on their own team.

In closing I would like to say- waving a towel is stupid. Having the logo on only only one side of your helmet is stupid. Naming your stadium after ketchup is stupid. Having the names on the back of your jersey be yellow instead of white is stupid. And having the refs in your pocket, as they did yet again last night, is VERY stupid. And wrong.

I hate Pittsburgh.

--------

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

2. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

3. Penny on the Traintracks- Ben Kweller

4. Love Me or Hate Me- Lady Sovereign

5. Alive With the Glory of Love- Say Anything

6. Fire Island, AK- The Long Winters

7. Bang Bang, You're Dead- Dirty Pretty Things

8. The Compromise- The Format

9. Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above- CSS

10. Long Distance Call- Phoenix

Good luck

2006-09-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

The following letter was posted by Kurt Angle on http://www.kurtanglewwe.com

To all my respective fans in WWE/ECW,

The letter you are about to read is not from WWE, nor from my agent, but from me- Kurt Angle…to all my fans.

This is my personal ‘Thank You’ straight from my heart, to all my fans for being here with me and providing me with the most honorable privilege to perform and entertain for you. Thank you for tuning into your TVs weekly, for visiting me at hundreds of house show chanting ‘You Suck’ (I love that phrase), to every single good, bad or indifferent e-mail I’ve received over the past 6 years and continue to receive daily. Thank you for being there and making my life truly blessed.

When I came to WWE, many fans had doubts that an Olympic Gold Medalist in Amateur Wrestling could turn and master the art of Sports Entertainment. To my humble surprise, God graciously granted me the gift to make this exciting transition in my life. Coming into the WWE, I had one goal in mind...to be the VERY BEST! Many say I am; some may say I'm not. But I want you to know with over six solid years of non-stop wrestling action under my belt from all the shows to the world tours...I treated every single match as if it were my last!

I’ve never known a time in my life from training, competition or entertainment that I have not tried to give over 100%. I honestly do not know of any other way to wrestle or perform, and I have always wanted to give YOU, the fans, what I would expect to see.

From the entertainment standpoint, (good guy or bad guy), it’s been truly exciting, but I know in my heart that I have not reached my peak. Critics have compared me to very honorable wrestlers like Rick Flair, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker, all of whom I value and truly respect. But there is one BIG difference between us. I am by far the most aggressive and intense athlete of all on the mat. When I step into the ring, I treat it as real, it feels real and then I play it like a real shoot fight.

As an amateur wrestler for 23 years and a pro for 6, unfortunately over the past 4 years I have suffered many injuries. I broke my neck twice and had two major neck surgeries. I’ve fractured my ribs, hip, tailbone, fingers and toes while also tearing almost every major muscle at least one time or another. Injuries have always been a natural part of the business and my life, but where I have failed is not taking the time off to recover. When I’m off the mental stress, sitting back becomes worse than the physical pain. Something tells my inner soul to go back regardless of the condition. The funny thing is, this obsession is what the industry loves, but this obsession can also be my destruction.

Week after week, day after day, 250 days a year on the road can be a living hell for anyone, especially when you’re in daily pain for months on end. It was at home when I began to realize how severe the problems were- when a simple task like taking out the garbage is like a full workout and I needed Motrin in order to get up and do it.

It’s time to rest! After 6 long years, I looked into my wife’s eyes and finally saw that she, too, was severely stressed and worn out due to my livelihood that she had to endure. My 3-year old daughter Kyra basically became my nurse, thinking she had to put ice packs or heating pads on my neck, back and legs because she could see the pain her daddy was in.

At this point, something happened that made me realize that wrestling wasn't the most important thing in my life. I sat down with my wife Karen, who had tears in her eyes. I could see in her face how concerned she was for me. She said,

“I love you. I didn't marry you because you were a WWE Superstar. I married you before you ever joined them. Kurt, I’m so worried that if you continue going at this pace, something bad is really going to happen and I don't want Kyra and Kody (our unborn son) to grow up without their father.”

I did take this all to heart, but then, as usual, a couple of days later, I went back on the road, wanting to electrify my new ECW fans.

My last event was at the Westchester Arena in White Plains, New York. The show was sold out. The main event was me against RVD. I had a great match against RVD as the fans were cheering for both of us. The more we wrestled (Rob and I wrestle more of a realistic shoot style), the more I wanted to give them. Ten minutes into the match, I severely pulled my groin. Most wrestlers would have quit right on the spot. But the fans were chanting louder and louder "THIS MATCH RULES!" continuously, so I kept going. Compensating for my groin injury, I pulled my lower abdominal muscle off my pelvic bone. Now, I was in trouble, but I looked up at the fans and they were screaming louder than ever.

So Rob and I started into our finish, false finish after false finish, back and forth. But the one thing the fans noticed is that I was doing half of the match on one leg. That made it feel even more real for the fans. I can only thank God and the fans for keeping me going, as I was in so much pain. And at the end of the match, I had the opportunity to beat RVD. I set him up for the Angle Slam and Rob countered with a flying DDT. My hamstring blew out. The fans cheered and I could not move in the ring. As the agonizing pain grew greater, I could only look around. Every fan was on their feet giving me a standing ovation. And this was at a house show, not a PPV. My only regret was that I could not stand up and thank them all for it.

To the ones who love me, the ones who hated me and even the ones who loved to hate me- You were and are my inspiration. God was and is my strength and so is my family—my Mom, sister and brothers, my father (God rest his soul), my Manager Dave Hawk and most especially, my wife Karen, who went through hell during my career. She has never given up on me.

Fans, thank you all for the memories. It was quite a ride. I would not trade any of it for the world. As I sit here a bit teary eyed, I do want all of you to know, I will be fine. I will finally get to spend some real quality time with my family… time that is much, much overdue. My plan and goal is to become stronger mentally, physically and spiritually. I, Kurt Angle, will be back! That’s a promise. And that’s DAMN TRUE!

Vince, if you happen to read this, I want to again say thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are a great man! When we get together, the next cup of coffee is on me. ; )
God Bless,
Kurt Angle

I am so good-looking

2006-08-31T08:58:00.000-07:00

It seems like I'm always apologizing for the lack of updates. This time I have a lot of things I've been meaning to talk about but not enough time to sit down here and do it. The 1 o'clock hour when I have to leave for work sneaks up fast.

Last night I was finally allowed to be on my own. No more technically unnecessary training. So of course, I got the worst truck- just a big mess. But I handled it.

Co-worker: What are you doing, Kevin?

Me: It's called 'trial by fire'.

Co-worker: No, they wouldn't fire you.

----

I have to make a correction to a comment I made when I was discussing television in a previous entry. I said that no new show I watched made it to a second season. However, I forgot about Prison Break. I think I forgot about it because I caught up with it during a mid-season marathon and didn't take the normal road of summer anticipation. All I remember of last year at this time was eagerly waiting for Threshold and Reunion and both of those shows were axed way too quickly. It still stings!

----

Time to issue some big GET WELL SOONS. First to Lisa, my most consistent comment giver, who recently underwent a lobotomy. Hugs and love! It sounds like you're doing well but we want you to be back at 100% soon.

Second, to my favorite wrestler ever, Kurt Angle, who was recently granted an early release from WWE. The guy is so tough that he was trying to wrestle with a lot of nagging injuries (such as a groin tear!). It finally caught up with him as he is now addicted to painkillers and getting a divorce. I sincerely hope Kurt can get his life back in order and get back into championship form. We do not need another high profile wrestler on the deceased list. Especially one of the best ever.

----

Last Saturday my brother and I went to see Beerfest. Another lowbrow comedy that scores. I particularly enjoyed the satire. Like Snakes, the movie is funnier if you are in on the joke that it's only a movie. Beerfest acknowledges the cliches it presents and revels in them. Either I'm being too nice lately or I'm only seeing things I know I will like, but Beerfest is another Grade A.

----

This Week's Top Ten

1. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

2. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

3. Love Me or Hate Me- Lady Sovereign

4. LDN- Lily Allen

5. Penny on the Traintracks- Ben Kweller

6. Long Distance Call- Phoenix

7. Stalking You on Myspace- John B

8. In The Morning- Razorlight

9. Is It Any Wonder?- Keane

10. Better- Regina Spektor

---

Today I weigh 204 lbs. Only 4 away from my original goal in only 3 months! That would be 40 dropped.

What To Watch

2006-08-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

IFILM Player <--- Video for Fidelity by Regina Spektor. Too bad everytime I like a singer, Tricia tells me about their coke habit. LOL

--I just finished my first full week back at work. The unloading job is super easy and I am really looking forward to being good at my job again. My boss told me last night that the guy training me has said only good things and they are both psyched to get me out on my own and show my relatively unexperienced co-workers how things are done. He used the word 'psyched' three times. The only downside is that I'm still in the cold temperatures so my carpal tunnel syndrome is flaring up again.

YouTube - BOOM! <---- Brock Lesnar superplexes The Big Show and the ring breaks.

-- Today it's really cold. Last Monday was the season premiere of Prison Break. The NFL is half way done with the pre-season. All this means that the summer is all but officially over. Time to seriously think about what we are going to be watching on TV this fall.

Monday- Definites: Prison Break, Monday Night Football, WWE Monday Night Raw Maybes: NBC's new shows Heroes and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. (After last season's debacle of every new show I tried being canceled, I am very wary of trying anything new)

Tuesday- Definite: Veronica Mars Maybe: Knights of Prosperity

Wednesday- Definites: Jericho, LOST, Kidnapped Maybe: The Nine

Thursday- Survivor, My Name is Earl, The Office, CSI, Grey's Anatomy

Friday- WWE Friday Night Smackdown

Saturday- NOTHING

Sunday- The Amazing Race, The Simpsons, Sunday Night Football, Desperate Housewives

YouTube - Cat on a fan <--- an old classic

This Week's Top Ten

2006-08-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

2. Love Me or Hate Me- Lady Sovereign

3. LDN- Lily Allen

4. Better- Regina Spektor

5. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

6. Smile- Lily Allen

7. Stay- Small Sins

8. Well Thought Out Twinkles- Silversun Pickups

9. In the Morning- Razorlight

10. Breaking the Ice- Mojave 3

The VCH Reviews SNAKES ON A PLANE

2006-08-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

The following entry may contain *SPOILERS*

*sigh of relief* I am happy to report that Snakes on a Plane delivers. As they like to say on Big Brother this season, "it is what it is." SoaP is a fun, critic-proof popcorn movie. It is a campy, action-horror romp. I, of course, can't judge it by awards potential or any other mainstream industry standard. I can only judge it by how much I was smiling while watching it. And that was a lot. I haven't smiled that much in a theater since Freddy fought Jason.

Samuel L. Jackson plays Flynn, a typical Jackson bad-ass role. He is a federal agent escorting a witness for the prosecution to LA to testify against an Asian mob boss. The kid has witnessed a murder and is a target, but how he was found by both the mob and Jackson, what police corruption has to do with anything, and how the bad guys knew which plane was not the decoy is all inconsequential in a film called Snakes on a Plane. The whys and hows are tossed within the first 10 minutes and soon enough we're at the airport meeting all the characters who may or may not become snake food.

They include a germophobic rap star and his posse, an annoying business woman and her dog, Mary-Kate. Of course, the movie delivers on the all-important cliches as well. You've got the guy who is afraid to fly, the obnoxious man who hates everyone around him, and not one, but two flight attendants who are about to retire. And, as is customary, the people who have sex are the first to be dispatched.

Things escalate quickly from humorous to exciting to utterly preposterous, but none of it is ever boring or bad. I can't recommend it or not recommend it because it's the type of movie where you either like it or you don't and you know which it is before you would ever need to hear someone else's opinion. I can only say that I absolutely loved it. Snakes on a Plane gets an A+

*The only thing I was disappointed with was the obvious edit to include the now world-famous Jackson line heard at the beginning of this song. I thought it would come after he kills one or when the snakes really screw something up in the plane's instruments. Instead, he says it right before they put the landing plan into action. That would work just fine except that his anger didn't really fit the mood of the scene. I guess I was just expecting too much from that line. LOL

Also, it would have been a cool nod to Deep Blue Sea if Flynn had died in the middle of his "Let's keep it together" speech, but, funny as that would have been, you can't have the second half of the movie Jackson-free if you don't have Tom Jane to take you home.

It's a wicked world that we live in

2006-08-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

Doesn't this song about black market trafficking make you want to buy shampoo? I would love to meet the ad execs who slipped this one past both their bosses and clients.

Shampoo bigwig: Gee, there's a lot of cussing in this song!

Pitch guy: Don't worry about the lyrics, we won't use them. Don't you hear the WOO WOO?

Shampoo bigwig: Oh yeah, I like that. Sounds like a train! WEEEE!

---------------

Happy Snakes on a Plane day! I'm almost positive that my brother was serious about going to the midnight showing last night so I will be going by myself this afternoon. I will let you know how it is. I am anticipating the best movie of the summer and it had better deliver!

-------------------------

I am not the first and certainly won't be the last blogger to sing the praises of Youtube.com, but damn if I haven't watched this clip 25 times already. It's a hilarious tribute to our nation's first president. Enjoy.

YouTube - george washington

------------------

I don't have a picture, but I have now lost 30 pounds and it is starting to show in my waistline. I can shove my whole hand down my pants now. Not that I would or anything...

Man at Work

2006-08-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

Well, today is the day. For the first time since Dec. 5, 2005 I am going to work. I'm not 100% but maybe I never will be. The good news is that I lucked out and got back to where I belong in that place. Driving a forklift and letting the machines do the work. That's more my style. No threat of crippling injuries.

My new schedule is Monday- Thursday 2pm-12am. I am finally going to have weekends off. Football. Family functions. Football. I am pleased.

This Week's Top Ten:

1. LDN- Lily Allen

2. Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)- Cobra Starship

3. Love Me or Hate Me- Lady Sovereign

4. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

5. Smile- Lily Allen

6. Dancing on the Lip of a Volcano- New York Dolls

7. In the Morning- Razorlight

8. Breaking the Ice- Mojave 3

9. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

10. Alive With the Glory of Love- Say Anything

TWO days left until SNAKES ON A PLANE.