Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Wednesday Afternoon

  - Here's some random thoughts, which I don't do very often, so enjoy!

  -We are having consistent nice weather finally so it's time to break out the short sleeved shirts for good.  Which means the hems on the end of the sleeves will keep flipping up on me.  How do you stop that?

  -Kasey was telling me about a nightmare she had last night.  In her dream, she had three dressers and three nightlights!  GASP!  Oh wait... I don't know why that was scary.  Four-year-olds!

  -I am currently sucking down the last drop of Gatorade in the house and it's only noon.  No grocery shopping until Friday, either.  What ever shall I do?  According to 20/20 last week, tap water is exactly the same as bottled water.  But still...

  -Speaking of Friday, that's my birthday!

  -Lastly, it is a very good thing I never intended for my Monster Midgets series to be published, because the title alone would have seriously offended Kramer's friend on Seinfeld:  :: rogerebert.com :: (xhtml)

Monday, May 9, 2005

Answers

I have decided to take time tonight to answer the questions presented to me so far.  If you didn't get to ask one, you can still add to the comments from that entry and I will get to it next time. 

  The first question is from mst2green of Lehigh Acres, Florida.

  Q: I started reading your journals because of your LOST postings. If you were the writer, how would you explain what is going on?

 A: Believe it or not, I haven't given it much thought.  I am just enjoying the ride and hope that the writers are not leading us somewhere stupid.  If they made me the writer, I would go with some kind of experiment going on on this island involving the untapped power of the mind.  (Thank God I'm not the writer)

Question 2 is from my friend Brandi in Groves, Texas:

  Q: My question is ummmm wait let me think... If you had to listen to a "boy band" for 3 days straight would you pick... NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, or O-Town? And why would you choose that group? :D

  A: Hmm...I suppose I would have to go with the Backstreet Boys.  My sister loved them, so I would be familiar with the songs.  I wouldn't like them, but they would be familiar.

  The next question is from my dear mother:

Q: what did you buy your mother for mothers day besides a card....which was very nice?

A: You mean the Pizza Hut coupons weren't in there?

  And now we're down to the last two reporters.  It sounds like the end, but there's fifteen questions between them.  The next five are from Lisbnjvi (Lisa) of CT.

 Q: When did you first realize that you wanted to become an author? Was there a moment in your schooling when you had a revelation that pushed you towards becoming an author? (sort of the same question, but it may have different answers)

  A: I was killing time between classes at college, just walking around, when inspiration struck me from out of nowhere.  I ran to the library, sat down in a little cubicle and hammered out a short story in one sitting- even cutting the class I had been waiting for in order to get it done.  It is a wonderful and indescribable feeling- almost like you have no choice but to be led.  I thought that if I could spend my life trying to recapture that feeling, then that would be the greatest job ever.

Q: Is your hamster, Homer 2 still alive and kicking?

A: I object to it being called "my" hamster, but it is still alive.  That first one was just a dud.

Q: Have you always had the dry sense of humor that you do now? Did people understand it when you were younger? (I am curious because no one seems to understand me STILL!)

A: I remember my mother telling me one of my teachers loved hearing the things I would say almost under my breath that no one around me would even get.  As far as the type of humor, I actually embrace all kinds- you just can't see me pretending to walk into a door on the computer.

 Q:  Were you a shy child, class clown, nerd, jock in school?

 A: I was shy- still am.  I never had many friends and never really fit into a category.  I try to be funny, but I wasn't a clown; I'm smart, but not really a "nerd", etc.

  Q: Is there a certain moment in time that, if you could, you would want to go back and relive just to be able to say or do something different?

  A: I would go back to the writing experience for this answer.  Every time you sit down to write something, you are trying to relive the amazing feeling of being inspired.  That's where writer's block and 'forced' writing comes from.  I want very badly to relive what it feels like to write a novel and I know I will, which is what keeps you going. 

  If I was going to go back in time to do something differently, I would object much more to going to an all boys high school.

  Finally, there's Julie of Manhattan, KS.  She came up with not one, not two, but ten questions.  Here goes nothing...

1. Would you like to eventually become a full-time author or just release something whenever you feel like it (not under contract/pressure)?

  A: Of course I would love it if I could support my family through writing and not have to work at a job that is beneath me anymore.  And I can handle a deadline, so that wouldn't be a problem.

2. Who is your daddy and what does he do?

  A:  My daddy's name is John and he has done a lot of things.  He served in Vietnam, he was a cop, a limo driver, and most recently a dispatcher.  He is retired at the moment.

 3. Why do you hate midgets?

   A: I do not hate midgets.  While writing Monster Midgets, a series of short stories, I did some research and learned a lot.  I set out to write a campy horror and the midgets ended up being sympathetic characters.

4. Have you ever thought of doing a series of books? If so, do you fear it would be hard to come up with ideas under pressure if you have a certain number left to fill for your contract?

  A:  I am lucky that I was able to stretch my first novel out to a respectable novel length.  I don't know if I have it in me to write something on an epic LOTR level.  Unless you consider a couple of short pieces about midgets turning into monsters an epic.

5. Do you LIKE killing hamsters?

  A:  I don't know- I never tried it!  Do you?

  6. Have you ever thought of becoming a prostitute? If so, did you consider costumes?

  A: I already tried being a prostitute but business was bone dry.  Just couldn't get over the hump.

7. Are you really John Locke?

  A:  No.  But then again, John Locke is a liar, so maybe I really am and I'm lying about it.

8. What's in the Hatch?

 A: Since you capitalized Hatch, I'll assume you meant Richard Hatch, the first Survivor winner.  In that case, I would say, his boyfriend.

9. What genre of literature do you like READING the most? Which genre do you like WRITING the most?

  A: I'll read almost anything if it holds my interest from the start. I enjoy thrillers and suspense the most.  I also like to read character driven stories that span someone's life such as She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb.  I enjoy writing suspense the most just because it comes out the best.  I know I'm funny to talk to, but it is very difficult to write a funny book.

 10. Are you having a love affair with an ice cream sandwich?

  A: As often as possible.  Everyone loves ice cream sandwiches.  In fact, if you ever need to escape from prison as part of a magic trick, you can just unplug the ice cream machine so that all the guards will have to eat the ice cream sandwiches before they get melty.  Just make sure you've gotten the key you swallowed out of your intestine first.

 

Well, that's it.  I enjoyed this and I hope more questions are added to that Press Conference entry...hint hint!  :)


 

Saturday, May 7, 2005

Press Conference

  I've seen some interviews posted in other journals and I decided that I would like to be interviewed as well.  Of course, I couldn't decide who, of all my wonderful friends, would receive the "honor" of asking the questions so I have decided to hold an online press conference.  If you have a question you would like to ask me about my journal, my novel, my life, or anything else you can think of- please post it in the comments section of this entry.  I will answer them all- each and every one- in another entry next week.   

Thursday, May 5, 2005

LOST- Episode 21: The Greater Good

  Previously on LOST: Sayid tried to get the radio signal but got whacked in the head and Boone tried to use a radio but wound up dead.

  We open on Sayid's face.  He is looking very sad because he is watching Shannon play with her dead brother's hair.  If this was all part of Boone's plan to get more attention from her- it worked.  Sayid asks the standard funeral question, "Is there anything I can do?"  He tries to comfort her with the story of Boone's bravery- deciding to die instead of using up all of Jack's antibiotics.  Shannon nods, but says nothing.

  Sayid flashes back to when he was just walking along- then the camera pulls back to show he is being escorted in handcuffs by military guys.  Though I don't know why Sayid's daydream would contain a reveal shot.  'I remember that time I was walking...oh wait- I was arrested, that's right.  Silly me.'

  18 hours later, the CIA and the Australian version of the CIA are ready to talk about a deal with our man.  Sayid is insulted that they think he is a terrorist, but they know he is not.  His old college roommate is and they want to use Sayid to infiltrate the organization.  Sayid resists this plan until they reveal that they know where his beloved Nadia is.  If he wants to know the information, he must go to Sydney.

  Back on the island, Kate is tracking something in the jungle and finds what she is looking for.  It's a crazed and tired looking Jack who is stumbling in circles looking for Locke.  He is mad that he based his treatment of Boone on Locke's lie and wants some answers.  Kate begs him to come back to camp for the good of the masses. 

  Next on today's agenda is the funeral at the beach.  A chance for all the extras to get in a scene and put "looked sad on LOST" on their resumes.  Jack asks Shannon if she would like to say anything, but she refuses.  Sayid steps up and says that while he didn't know Boone well, he admired his courage in trying to help the drowned Joanna.  And if that eulogy was awkward- imagine what Locke's is going to be like.  Locke stays at a distance, still wearing his Boone-stained shirt and begins with, "It was my fault."  He very carefully reveals some select details about what happened during Boone's accident.  Locke agrees with Sayid that Boone was a hero.  At this point, Jack can no longer hold in his rage and assaults Locke while shouting "Where were you?", "What did you do?" and "You lied!"  This outburst triggers the creepy LOST title screen, which I totally forgot about.

  The gang tries to get Jack to calm down and tell him to get some rest.  He is convinced that Locke is a liar and there is something going on with a hatch.  Sayid flashes back to a religious ceremony where he meets up with his old buddy, Essam.  Yes, I had to look that name up.  Sayid learns that his friend is a tree cutter now and lost his lover to a stray bomb.  They go back to his place and meet the other cell members, er, I mean tree cutters.  Sayid busts them pretty quickly when he notices that their cigarettes are not setting off the smoke alarm.  He pulls the device down and disables a bug. 

  On the beach, Claire tries to fend off Charlie and Sun who are trying to take her gigantic baby so she can get some sleep.  Charlie assures her that he won't let anything happen and she finally gives in.  Elsewhere, Locke returns Boone's bag to Shannon.  He sits down with her and tells her how sorry he is for ever letting Boone hunt with him.  Locke leaves thinking her silence is an acceptance of his apology, but in the very next scene, she asks Sayid to do something about Locke.  Maybe she's mad that he couldn't even change out of the bloody shirt before talking to her.

  Over in the tent, Kate forces Jack to suck down every last drop of juice to get his blood sugar up.  Jack tries to stand up to find Locke but he can't because Kate drugged him with sleeping pills.  Jack tries to laugh it off, but he is asleep almost immediately. 

  At Cavetown, Locke is at long last washing his shirt.  Walt gives him an odd look.  Sayid sees Locke's surgical scar, but Locke insists it is a war wound.  Sayid then asks to be taken to the aircraft that killed Boone so that he can get some of the radio parts.  So it's off to the jungle, where the game of cat and mouse begins.  Sayid's interrogation forces Locke to admit that he and Boone weren't hunting boar- they were exploring.  Sayid even questions Locke's leg injury.  Locke realizes what is going on and thinks that Sayid might consider him a liar.  Sayid says that he knows when he is being lied to. 

  Just as they reach the wrecked plane, Sayid flashes back to a friendly one on one soccer game with his pal.  Sayid realizes that a target is coming soon and Essam admits that he is the one who has been chosen to be a martyr.  He also admits that he doesn't think he can do it.  Later, Sayid takes this information to the CIA but they tell him that getting Essam to surrender is useless because he doesn't know anything.  In an ironic twist, the agents tell Sayid that he has to convince his friend to go through with the bombing so that they will know what the target is.

  At the beach, Charlie can not get the baby to stop crying and Hurley's bad singing does not help matters.

  Back at the plane, Sayid tries to piece together what happened and asks Locke why he lied.  Locke says he made a mistake.  As Sayid begins his salvage mission inside the plane, Locke asks him why he doesn't trust him.  For one thing, Sayid has seen the gun Locke is packing and hasn't told anyone about.  It's the gun Locke found on the dead Nigerian "priest".  He hands it over and asks for trust, but Sayid is still skeptical.  Locke only handed it over because he was busted.  Locke scratches his head and decides to reveal something Sayid doesn't know.  He was the one who whacked Sayid when he was trying to locate the radio signal way back when. 

  Sayid has a commercial break to mull this over, but it is not long enough because he grabs Locke by the throat and points the gun at his neck.  Locke's shaky explanation is that they shouldn't have wanted to find the source of the signal since it was saying how "it killed them all".  "Is that a place you really want to lead people to?"  Sayid releases Locke and asks why he hadn't said anything all this time.  Locke says no one would have listened to reason back then because they were too focused on getting off the island to see the bigger picture.  Sayid continues to interrogate.  No, Locke did not burn the raft.  The "hatch" Boone mentioned was the door of the plane.   (Good one, John!  I think he bought it.) 

  Sayid lowers his gun and thinks back to when he convinced Essam to go through with the bombing...by agreeing to do it with him.  In real time, Shannon is looking at her wallet photo of her and Boone together when Sayid approaches and asks to go for a walk.  He tells her that he believes Boone's death to be an accident.  Shannon is upset with him for not being able to do her simple little murderous favor. 

  At the raft, Walt is dropping all kinds of hints that he doesn't want to leave by asking questions about tipping over and sharks.  Michael calmly answers all his son's silly questions and assures his son that they are not going to die like Boone did.  Charlie approaches looking for help from anyone he can find.  The baby won't stop crying until an intriguing discovery is made.  The baby stops crying whenever it hears Sawyer's voice.  Sawyer tries to run for it, but Charlie follows in hot pursuit. 

  Jack awakens from his drug-induced slumber and quickly realizes that someone has taken the gun case key from around his neck.  Jack goes off to find Locke, since he obviously is the culprit, but Sayid tells him it wasn't him.

  This mystery won't last nearly as long as some of the others, because our next scene is Shannon opening the case and arming herself.  She stalks off with a gleam in her eye. 

  We return from the break in flashback mode and it's GO TIME for the terrorists.  Sayid and Essam receive their instructions and prepare to move out.  The explosives are hidden in the back of the van, the disguises are on and Essam begins to pray.  This display forces Sayid to admit his true motive.  Essam feels betrayed that he was used just so his so-called friend could find a woman.  Maybe he was right to be upset, but suicide was a little drastic.

  Sayid, Jack and Kate are running through the dark and stormy jungle trying to stop Shannon, but Jack falls down.  Kate stops to help him so that it is only Sayid who discovers Shannon with weapon drawn on a helpless Locke.  Sayid tries to talk her down but all it does is make her shoot.  Fortunately, it misses.  Jack and Kate arrives which emboldens Shannon's cause since it was Jack who informed her that Locke is a liar.  Sayid makes his move and tackles his girlfriend but the gun goes off anyway and Locke hits the dirt. 

  Shannon is very angry with Sayid for stopping her and tells him to get away from her.  Jack ignores his oath and walks away after he sees Locke stirring and stares him down for a bit.  The bullet only grazed his head, by the way.

  At the beach, Sawyer has reluctantly given in to Charlie and is reading to the unnamed baby from a car magazine.  As the sun sets, Sayid watches Shannon sitting alone and Kate assures him that she will get over it in time.  Sayid says that time won't make a difference.  Sayid flashes back to the aftermath of his actions.  He learns that Nadia is in California and his plane leaves in two hours.  Alas, when he finds out that Essam's body is not going to be properly disposed of according to their faith, he demands a different flight so he can stay and claim his friend. 

  At the campfire, Locke thanks Sayid for saving him.  Sayid still doesn't trust the man but senses that Locke is their best chance for survival.  "And now you're going to take me to the hatch," he says.  Locke tries to stammer his way out of it, but Sayid stares him down and says, "No more lies."   

  Next week on LOST: Kate and Sawyer fight over who gets to go on the suicide raft, while Jack and the others try to open the hatch.  Walt doesn't think this is a good idea...        

   

Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Temptation

I am tired of everyone telling me how gorgeous my daughter is!  I present now: Sticker Face. 

stickerface.jpg

She did that to herself, not me.

I am also tired of being addicted to McDonald's.  I haven't had it in over six months and yet still, walking past it at Wal-mart, I had to resist the urge to stop by and have a quarter pounder and some McNuggets.  I know they put addictive chemicals in their food and I have over twenty years of habit to break, but it still made me mad.  I am mad at McDonald's for making me want them. 

  All this talk is making me hungry...maybe I'll go get some Wendy's.  I'm only human- I can't ban all fast food!...

Speech! Speech! Speech!

And now a classic scene from Arrested Development-

G.O.B.: Speech, speech, speech...

All: (Chanting.) Speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech, speech...

Narrator: The family continued to chant “speech, speech, speech” for no one in particular.

All: ...speech, speech, speech!

Michael: Gee, after all that, I was kind of hoping somebody would make a speech.

Buster: Speech, speech, speech!

Michael: All right, I’ll say something.

G.O.B.: Typical.

  So what was all that about?  Just a way for me to continue pushing my pro-AD agenda so rampant in all my entries.  Today I am posting the toast I made at the wedding.  I have given up waiting for a picture since the professional photographer didn't even bother to shoot it.  There was a nice shot of my hand, though.  GRRR!  I was at this wedding, I swear.

  Almost four years ago, the best man at my wedding, one Jeff Burke, stood up and gave a speech that opened with a joke no one got, and which he "read" from a blank piece of paper.  When given the chance to return the favor now, I had to write everything down.  Yes, I had to do this the right way...so I thought maybe I could embarrass these two by talking about all the women Jeff has used and discarded before finally settling down.  Only that doesn't work because there has been only one woman...and he's not done with her yet.

  Then I thought I could go back to all those wild and crazy moments Jeff and I had out on the town.  But I couldn't go there either because the only parties we've ever been to together were family-only affairs where we played football, board games, or Tree Ball- a game of my own invention (patent pending).

  And that's when it hit me.  At these "family-only" parties, for the better part of a decade, Laurie has been there.  Today we officially welcome Laurie into our family, but realistically, we had already done that years ago.  She's been to weddings, graduations, birthdays, and even actual births.  She has been my daughter's aunt for close to five years.  The celebration we are having today is not a sigh of relief that two people finally found each other or that a wild man has been tamed at last.  But rather, this is a celebration of two soul mates continuing on with their lives together. 

  Like my brother knew what he wanted to say without having to write it down, Jeff and Laurie have the confidence and bravery to know what they want to say to the world with this commitment.  I commend them for it and we should all now raise our glasses and toast them for it.

 

...And scene.

Monday, May 2, 2005

At last- an entry!

I have always tried to keep this journal as light-hearted as possible.  Therefore I will not be talking about my wild weekend at work filled with all kinds of racism, religious intolerance and the general stupidity of almost everyone around me!  >:(

If you want to see what Kasey's redecorated room looks like, follow the link to my wife's journal.  It looks great.  You don't want to know what every other room looks like. ;-)