Friday, March 31, 2006

The Pre-Op Entry

  Monday at 10:15, I will be gassed and sliced and when I wake up, the carpal tunnel in my left wrist will be free flowing again.  I don't write much on weekends, so I figure this will be the last entry before the surgery.  I don't know what to expect about the after effects.  I might be able to type one-handed, I might not.  I might be able to but not want to.  I just don't know!  Damn it, Jim, I'm a writer, not a doctor!

  That was a little Star Trek humor.  Anyone remember that show?

  ---------------

  Today I went to the very first showing of Slither all by myself.  My wife thinks it's weird that I would go to the movies by myself, but I don't think so.  I see men by themselves all the time.  What I have never seen is a woman by herself.  Women are more social creatures, I suppose.  Men just want to see a movie.

  Anyway, the movie was not as great as I had hyped myself into thinking it would be.  Then again, I didn't feel like I had wasted my money either.  It's not scary enough to be a horror movie and not funny enough to be a comedy.  It's one of those movies that does not lend itself to genre classsification. 

  Though I am usually scared of zombie movies, it turns out this isn't really much of a zombie flick in the "traditional" sense.  They say it on the commercial so it's not really a spoiler, but the slimy red slugs burrow into people and turn them into a hive mind to serve the alien that crashes on Earth in the beginning and does a body snatch. 

  The movie has one of my favorite bad actors, Michael Rooker, and since it takes a while for him to change into an alien, the first half hour is like the Michael Rooker show.  Good times.

  All in all I'd give the movie a generous B+ just because.  If you're a horror/gore/comedy fan, you will enjoy it. 

  -------------

  In other news, I got myself a new cell phone.  I figured I will need one soon when I am going back and forth to work.  It's good to have in case of an emergency.  It is a camera phone and I tried to take a picture of the wild turkey that strolled through the backyard this morning, but it didn't come out too well.

  I don't know what it is about a new phone that makes you want to play around with it like a new toy.  I had zero interest in getting one other than for emergencies, yet there I was looking through all the songs available to DL as ring tones and just generally messing around with the phone.  Good times!

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  I am very excited because this Sunday I am driving down to NJ to watch Wrestlemania at my cousin's house.  His GF works for the cable company, so they get PPVs at bargain prices.  Believe me, I would not have paid 50 bucks for a wrestling show.  Even if it is four hours.  I even got my brother to come along, so hopefully this will be the start of getting him back in the game so Sean and I can have a tie breaker the next time we discuss dream matches for hours at a time on a long beach day.

  WRESTLEMANIA Predictions:

  Triple H over John Cena-  HHH has dropped the title at the last two Manias and it has been far too long since he has hogged all the TV time as champ.  With Cena suddenly getting booed, H might even turn himself into a hero.

  Randy Orton over Kurt Angle and Rey Misterio- As much as I would love to see Angle retain, the fact is that this was an unplanned title run and it means little as far as long term plans go.  As for Rey, I can't help but notice that they have started to downplay the "inspiration" he has been getting from the late Eddie Guerrero.  And if he doesn't have that angle, then I can't see them making such a small guy the champ.

  Ric Flair wins the Money in the Bank Ladder Match- Every time Flair is on TV, they mention how he might still have one more title run in him.  I think HHH will take the title, drop it one more time to his pal Flair and then get it back.  That would get Flair up to 17 reigns while taking HHH from 10 to 12.  We all know that H's goal is to have the most title reigns ever and this is a good way for him to continue down that road.  As for the other guys in the ladder match: RVD- maybe.  Shelton Benjamin, Matt Hardy, Fit Finlay, and Bobby Lashley- no chance.

  Carlito and Chris Masters over Kane and Big Show- Kane and Big Show are just too dominant for the wimpy tag division and too valuable as singles guys to hold onto the belts any longer.  Plus, the 'tag champs who don't really like each other' angle hasn't been done in a while and I think eventually, Carlito will turn face and break up the team. 

  Shawn Michaels over Vince McMahon- HBK has been doing every humilating segment asked of him.  It just has to result in good triumphing in the end.  Or does it?  Knowing Vince's ego, I'm just not sure on this one.

  Chris Benoit over JBL- I think JBL could make a good run with this title, but I haven't picked any other champions to retain so I thought I'd give the nod to Benoit on a whim.  JBL will take it down the road.

  Undertaker over Mark Henry- There is no chance in hell of Undertaker giving up his double digit undefeated streak at Wrestlemania to a guy who won't be on the roster this time next year.

  Mickie James over Trish Stratus- Trish has had the women's belt for almost a year and a half- time for someone else to run with it for a while.

  The Boogeyman over Booker T and Sharmell- Boogeyman has won all his matches with one move.  They might drag it out a little with Booker T running scared, but I can't see him even putting a dent in Boogey's armor.

  Mick Foley over Edge- This is my upset pick.  Doesn't seem logical for a retired guy to go over a guy being groomed as a champion, but the Cactus Jack hardcore legend has taken such a beating lately.  Every time Foley comes back,  he loses.  I think he is going to get the "one WM moment" he has been looking for and pull off the upset- of course while still making Edge look really good.

  Finally, the Playboy Pillow fight will go to a No Contest.

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Okay, that's it.  See you when I'm better, kids.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

LOST- Episode 41: Lockdown

  Previously on LOST: Locke got long conned by his dad, but then chose Helen in the end.  Also, Ana-Lucia and company went to find Henry Gale's balloon and Henry taunted Jack and Locke about that fact.

  Last season we had the opening eyeball.  This season it's all about the flashback, as once again, we begin in the past.  John Locke takes the engagement ring he bought out of his sock drawer and heads to the kitchen to make a picnic for his lady love.  He rolls the ring into a napkin without raising suspicion but his grand plans are foiled when Helen sits down to read the newspaper.  It seems that Locke's father has died.

  In the present, we pick up exactly where we left off in 'The Whole Truth'.  Jack demands that Henry redraw the map, but Henry insists that he was only making a bad joke.  Nevertheless, Jack is angry and orders Locke to put the prisoner back in his cell.  Henry questions why Locke lets the doctor talk to him like that, which is exactly the wrong thing to say.  As Henry hastily apologizes, an infuriated Locke grabs him by the shirt and throws him back into the armory.

  Out in the jungle, Sayid is ready to end the search for the balloon at the three hour mark, but Ana-Lucia is still not ready to give up.  Charlie calls them over and shows them that he has found a cross marking a gravesite.  Ana-Lucia then looks up and sees a balloon that has crashed into the trees.  Has Henry Gale just been vindicated?  Cue creepy LOST title screen.

  Back at the beach, Jack has decided to take a stroll down Underused Lane.  First he tells Hurley that there is no "loop" and Hurley is not out of it.  Then he assures Claire that baby Aaron is still fine.  Finally, he advises Libby to put some Neosporin on her sea urchin sting.  She reminds him that one of the more important characters- Sawyer- has control of the only medicine cabinet.

  Back in Station Three of the Dharma Initiative, Locke is feverishly working out on a stationary bike and listening to some music when he thinks he hears something unusual.  He shuts off the music and notices a little bit of voice and a whole lot of static and feedback coming from a speaker mounted on the wall, close to the ceiling.  As Locke fiddles with it and Henry wonders what's going on, Locke thinks back to his father's funeral.  Locke and Helen are justabout the only ones there, but Locke notices that there seem to be more people watching from a distance than actually in attendance.  Two shady looking guys watch from a nearby grave and as Locke gets up to say that he forgives his father, a car a few yards away drives off in a hurry.

  In the present, Locke yells for Henry to shut up so he can hear the speaker.  And what he hears is ominous.  A woman's voice is performing a countdown.  6...5...4...  When the count gets to zero, all hatch-hell breaks loose and the blast doors start coming down- even one over the window with the simulated sunlight.  Locke grabs a crowbar, dives to the floor and stops one of the doors from closing all the way.  It's not enough, however.  He and Henry are trapped.

  At the beach, Jack is watching Hurley get his butt kicked at poker by Sawyer and tries to lend some advice to the big guy.  Slightly impressed, but more intrigued by Jack's ability to read people, Sawyer invites the doctor to play.  Jack has to get back to "the hatch", but it doesn't take much macho prodding for him to sit down and be dealt in. 

   Back in Station Three, the lights are flickering and Henry's calls from the armory sound more nervous.  Locke's attempts to pry open the door have failed miserably, yet he still insists to his prisoner that nothing is wrong.  Locke then flashes back to his job as a home inspector.  After assuring Sayid's friend Nadia that nothing is wrong with the house she is buying, he notices the same car that was watching him at the funeral.  He walks over and gets a shock when the window rolls down.  His father is very much alive.

  Later, at a bar, Locke's father apologizes for the kidney scam and tells his son that he needs him again.  Dad explains that he pulled a retirement con on the wrong guys and had to fake his death before they handed him a real one.  He hands over a key to a safety deposit box and offers Locke a share of the money if he goes and retrieves it.  Locke just shakes his head in disbelief.  His dad may not have had good kidneys, but he's sure got balls.

  In the present, Locke finally has no choice but to tell Henry what is going on.  Locke thinks the two of them together might be able to lift the door, but Henry scoffs at helping his captor.  After some discussion, they make a deal that Henry will help if Locke promises to protect him from harm no matter what. 

  At the beach, things did not go as well as Sawyer had hoped as he has just lost his last bunch of papayas to the good doctor.  Jack excuses himself, but to save his pride, Sawyer insists on one more hand so he can win back his fruit.  Jack agrees, with the stakes being that Sawyer has to put all the stolen medicine on the line.

  Over in Station Three, Locke and Henry pry the blast door open enough to slide a weightlifting bar under the door.  Then they use the bar to pry the door open enough to slide a toolbox under.  Locke thinks this is enough space to slide under, and before Henry can stop him, he is on the floor and half way through.  Just then, the toolbox gives out a little and the door comes down right on Locke's legs.  Thank goodness he didn't do a headfirst crawl like most people would have done- Locke's marching to his own drummer saved him this time.  Henry props the door back up a little with some weights, but Locke is still stuck.  One of the spokes on the door has pierced his leg.  Henry suggests they wait for help because it's only a matter of time before someone comes.  Unfortunately, time is the one thing they don't have because it's almost time to push the button.

  Perhaps to take his mind off the pain, Locke flashes back to the bank where he opened up Deposit Box #1516 and marveld at all the cash inside.  When he returns home, his good mood is spoiled by the presence of the shady looking guys from the funeral.  They ask if Locke has seen his father since he died, but they are not spiritual men- they are the ones who have been conned and they believe that Dad might have been faking.  After Locke denies this truth and lets them look through his bag to find nothing, they have no choice but to leave.  Helen asks for the truth herself, but Locke doesn't give it to her either.

  Back in the now, Locke has just finished explaining the computer and the numbers and the countdown to an incredulous Henry.  Locke tells him to climb through the grate in the pantry, enter the dome and save the world.  Unfortunately, Henry is not much of a world saver.  As he climbs the pantry shelves, he falls and knocks himself out.

  Meanwhile at the beach, Jack goes all in and wins the hand with a pair of 9's.  An angry and frustrated Sawyer asks him why he didn't play for the guns.  Jack answers cockily, "When I need the guns, I'll get the guns."

  The computer's beeping has begun in Station Three, but luckily, Henry has started to stir.  Before he can even shake it off, Locke is shouting at him to get moving.  Henry makes it up into the vent this time, but we stay with Locke.  The computer beeping turns into the alarm sounding.  Locke screams for Henry but he is apparently out of earshot. 

  As Locke lays there to ponder what will happen if Henry fails, he flashes back to an airport motel- the place where Dad asked to meet him with the money.  Dad is grateful and offers Locke his share, but Locke says he didn't do it for the money.  When Locke doesn't answer why he did it, Dad says good-bye and leaves his son's share on the table.  When he opens the door, he comes face to face with Helen.  I don't know how long they've been together, but you would think Locke would know by now that his girl often tails him when she thinks he's up to something.  Helen is angry about being lied to and storms back to her car.  Instead of shouting "Surprise!" or something else that requires quick wits, Locke simply stumbles through an apology, professes his love and need for her and then makes an awkward proposal with the ring he never got around to presenting before.  Helen flat out turns him down, saying that he will always need his father's love more than hers.  As both lover and Dad drive away, Locke is left sad and alone once again.  It's all phone sex operators and paralysis from here, but that's a story for another day.

  Present day Locke is still pinned under a blast door and getting more panicked as the alarm gets louder and more threatening.  But then it stops and he hears the regular flapping of the counter resetting.  All is not well just yet, though, as the lights go out completely.  As Locke calls for Henry, a blue light fills the room and reveals a light show on the blast door.  I'll let the obsessed nerds scrutinize it, but it looked to me like the Dharma symbols forming a circle with a question mark in the middle.  After a moment, the lights return to normal, the picture disappears and all the blast doors raise back up.  Locke crawls his way to the computer and collapses just as he sees that Henry has not used this opportunity to escape.  As Henry helps him up, Locke pats him on the shoulder and thanks him for not leaving him.  Poor Locke and his abandonment issues.  Can we get a collective AWWWW?

  That night, Jack is finally heading back when Kate catches up and requests a shower.  Jack bumbles through some lame excuse about the pipes and tells her to head back.  When she says that she is glad that he beat Sawyer, Jack changes his mind and decides to walk her back himself.  Before he can take Ana-Lucia's advice and "hit that", they both see a blinking white light a few yards away.  They head over and find a parachute attached to a Dharma Initiative supply drop.  Before they can look through all the food, they are startled by Sayid, Ana-Lucia and Charlie returning from their mission.  Jack alters his catchphrase to "What did you find?" and  Sayid nods, which is not really an answer.

  Down in Station Three, Henry is playing nurse and helping Locke onto the couch.  Locke asks him what happened with the computer and Henry insists that he only did what he was told.  Nothing unusual happened.  A moment later, Jack, Sayid and the others are storming in and they look angry.  Sayid points his gun at Henry while Jack presses the prisoner against the wall.  Locke tries to explain that Henry was helping and he's really a good guy, but no one listens.  For you see, Sayid has a bombshell to drop.  Yes, there was a balloon and yes, there was a grave, but when they dug it up, there was not a wife down there.  There was a black man.  And that black man had a driver's license.  And that driver's license reads:

Henry Gale- 815 Walnut Ridge Rd. Wayzata, MN 55391

  "Henry Gale" can only stare at his captors- completely busted.

  Next time: The extras are coming...to fight over the new rations.  Plus, Hurley attacks Sawyer when he calls him crazy, then falls off a cliff.  I'm betting all my mangos that that last part is a dream.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

This Week's Top Ten

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Song With A Mission- The Sounds

2. Mr. November- The National

3. Gold Lion- Yeah Yeah Yeahs

4. There Is No Ending- Arab Strap

5. Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games- Of Montreal

6. Dream Sequence- Arab Strap

7. Steady, As She Goes- The Raconteurs

8. You Have Killed Me- Morrissey

9. Shine a Light- Wolf Parade

10. Munich- Editors

 

The Radar:

 This month I'm going to tell you about an up and coming band that is actually a SUPER band- made up entirely of members of other bands who are friends and found inspiration while hanging out together.  Jack White and Brendan Benson have recently formed The Raconteurs.

  You can visit the very retro looking website here: The Raconteurs

  If you have Sirius radio, you can hear their first single (the song that inspired them to get together) Steady, As She Goes on Alt Nation 21 or Left of Center 26

  If not, the single comes out on April 24, and their first album will be released in May.

  They are also in the line-up for Lollapalooza if you happen to be in Chicago at the beginning of August.

 

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Another Rave Review

Here is an excerpt from an e-mail I received this morning from my journal friend Lisa, who just got done reading my book.

  I cannot say enough about your talent as a writer.  You definitely have a gift for this and if I were you, I would start writing my next book if you aren't already.  Another way I judge a good book is if I want to read everything that author wrote after I finish one of their books and I found myself wishing you had another I could start reading as soon as I was done with "In Hiding".  It amazed me how you could get into the female psyche as well as you did being that you are a male too!  How do you know so much??  It is scary!  LOL!  But, it also shows someone that is sensitive to the feelings of others and absorbs things and catalogs them in that brain of yours to use for future reference. 
You are AMAZING and this book was INCREDIBLE!!  I wish Oprah would plug it so you could make millions, that's how good I thought it was (and I hate Oprah, just know what her word does for authors)!  Keep me posted on any new books you might have coming out of that head of yours.  You have a fan here now that's for sure!!!

Thanks for the kind words, Lisa.  It meant a lot to me.

You can read Lisa's journal here: My Life, Warts & All

Lisa has a lot more to say than what she watches on TV and what music she listens to, which makes her journal much better than mine.  Go check it out.

EDIT***  So apparently Lisa's journal is private so you will have to ask her if you really want to read it.  Here is what she wrote in her journal (reprinted without permission!)

our very own J-land author's book "In Hiding".  Kevin is a/k/a Capt Happy in case you didn't know and you can visit his journal HERE .  I cannot say enough about this book!!  As you all may know I am a big time historical romance reader, so this was a total different direction for me to go when I asked to read his book once it was published.  It is a murder mystery and it had me captivated from page one!  He doesn't go into all those boring details that I was used to in my historical romances such as the material of the dresses, drapes, the type of furniture, what the architecture is of the home, etc., he sticks mostly to the actual human characters and what makes them tick.  I actually got half way through the book and sent him an email asking him if any male character in the book had a redeeming quality because I HATED them ALL!  He said that I was supposed to feel that way so I felt better about that.  LOL!  Shows how used to romances I am doesn't it?  The female lead has something tragic happen to her right in the beginning of the book and the description Kevin gives of what happens to her is so realistic and so into the female mind that it freaked me out a bit.  How the hell did he know what a woman goes through when something like this happens to her?  How could he?!?!  But, that's the sign of a good writer, they know things that most people don't even think about. 

I have to say that I was clueless for the entire book on who did what and right up until the last 10 pages I had no clue who committed the murders.  I was happy though that at least one male character was a good guy though.  PHEW!!!  Thought I would have to come over to visit Kevin and knock him in the head or something.  LOL!  If any of you are interested in reading an incredible book, please contact him at: 
CaptHappyv2@aol.com 
or you can go and visit his journal and ask him for a copy of the book.  I think it's time we show some love to a fellow J-lander who is making adream come true and has actually become a PUBLISHED AUTHOR don't you?!?  Who knows, maybe we will see him sitting on Oprah's couch one of these days!!!  Check out the book, you won't be sorry and you have my recommendation, as an avid reader, what more could you ask for?  ;)

WAY TO GO KEVIN!!  I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!  :)

LOST- Episode 40: The Whole Truth

  Previously on LOST: Rousseau captured Henry Gale and Sun was snatched from her secret garden.

  Welcome back to LOST recaps done in a timely fashion.  Don't get used to it- I go under the knife in April.  Let's have some fun today as Dr. Shepherd said.  Oh wait, that was Derek Shepherd on Grey's Anatomy.  Jack Shepherd says stuff like "What did you do?"  Then he fights back the tears.  I'm losing you already?  All right, let's get to it then.

  As Sun stares into the mirror some time in the past, her husband calls from the other room.  He is shirtless, in bed, and ready for love.  In the middle of some romantic kissing, Jin kills the mood by asking Sun if she took her temperature.  It seems Jin is a little upset because they have been trying to have a baby for a year with no luck.  He thinks they should visit a fertility doctor.  Sun wants to know why a man who is never home cares so much about a baby.  Jin reminds her again that everything he does for her father he does for them.  He hopes that maybe a baby would soften the old man up and make him give Jin a safer, less bloody job.

  In the present, Sun has returned to her garden and is understandably jumpy when she hears a noise in the brush behind her.  Not to worry, though.  This time, it's only Jin.  Unfortunately for her, it's first season Jin and he is being all pushy and controlly- demanding that she return to the beach with him.  He doesn't want her to be alone in the place where The Others attacked and when she won't comply, he destroys her beloved garden.  "Now you have no reason to be out here," he says (in Korean).  This cues the creepy LOST title screen.

  Back at the beach, Ana-Lucia is bolting in a full-on run, but don't be fooled by the tense music, she's just exercising.  She finds Locke waiting for her, and since he has never said two words to her, she naturally wonders what he wants.  Locke gets right to the point and tells her all about Henry Gale.  He feels that since she was a cop and has dealt with The Others, she is best suited to get the truth out of the stranger.

  Elsewhere, Sun is walking off the anger when she doubles over in pain.  She overhears Rose and Bernard having some literal trouble in paradise, but they stop arguing when they notice that Sun is in trouble.  Sun insists that she is okay, but Rose urges her husband to give her some water.  Rose explains that he is grumpy because he forgot her birthday.  Bernard swears he didn't forget, he just can't keep track of what day it is on the island.  Both husband and wife suggest that Sun visit Jack, but she is insistent on doing the opposite.  She walks away from them to have a flashback in private.

  Sun enters a hotel room and puts out the "Do Not Disturb" sign.  Inside waiting for her and smiling is her ex-boyfriend- the bald hotel heir.  He is surprised that she hasn't told Jin about them.  When she asks for some iced tea, he asks her to say it in English and reveals that we have been swerved.  This is not a romantic affair, it's Sun's secret English lessons.  Baldy thinks Jin would be proud of her for learning English, but Sun doesn't see how she can tell him how or why she is learning it.  Sun asks Baldy if he wants to stop the lessons and he says no, perhaps a little too quickly.  He follows up with, "It's good practice for me, too."

  In Station Three of the Dharma Initiative, Jack steps out of the shower and is surprised to find Locke shaving in there.  Locke says that with no shaving cream, he needs the steam to open up his pores.  I wasn't going to include that tedious explanation, but the "Wish I knew how to quit you" jokes are getting to be a little overdone.  John mentions his plans regarding Ana-Lucia and I hope Jack doesn't have a problem with it, because she's already in the armory with Henry.

  Inside the armory, Henry has gotten a little tired of telling his story to everyone he meets, but Ana-Lucia insists after telling him the story of how she threw Nathan in the pit.

  At the beach, Sun asks Sawyer if she can look through his medical supplies.  Sawyer is not one to give up that much control over a situation so he naturally denies her request.  In no position to argue, Sun tells him what she needs- a pregnancy test.

  Back in the armory, Ana-Lucia recaps Henry's story and asks him to draw a map to his balloon.  He is reluctant, drawing suspicion from Ana.  How could a world traveler by balloon not be able to make a map?  Henry says that no matter what he does or says, he will end up dead.  Ana points out that he then has nothingto lose by drawing her a map.

   In the jungle, Sun has snuck off to take her test, but bumps into Hurley who has snuck off to eat a candy bar.  They share an awkward moment, then when the coast is clear, Sun stares at the box in her hands and thinks back...

  ...Back to the Kwan family visit to the fertility clinic to hear their results.  The doctor explains that Sun has too much endometriotic scar tissue and it would be almost impossible for her to conceive.  Jin is angry and accuses his wife of knowing of this all along.  She sarcastically answers that it was her plan to trap the son of a fisherman.  After that low blow, Jin throws some stuff and storms out of the office.

  In the present, Ana-Lucia shows Sayid and Charlie the map that Henry drew for her.  Sayid asks if Jack and Locke know.  Ana replies that they are too worried about each other, which draws a knowing smirk from Charlie.  When Sayid asks why she came to him, she says that she wants to know the truth and judging from Henry's damaged face, so does Sayid.

 After going to the bathroom, fixing a snack, and thinking about some products they might like to buy if they ever get home, the three set off on their journey.  They see a cliff in the distance, which Henry has helpfully included on his map as 'Go around the mountain'.  Even if the map is accurate, Sayid is not convinced that they are heading toward a balloon.  As the trek continues, Ana-Lucia asks Charlie to give his gun to someone who knows how to use it.  He counters that last time she had one, she murdered someone.  He hands it over, but to Sayid.

  At the beach, Sun has recruited Kate to help her with the pregnancy test.  Kate asks the obvious "Who travels with one of these?" and we all share a wink and a laugh with the writers.  Sun is not in a joking mood and asks Kate if she has ever taken one.  "Yeah," she replies.  When the wait is over they learn that Sun is indeed pregnant.

  They take the test result to Jack, who confirms that they are usually pretty accurate.  Sun asks them not to tell anyone, including Jin.  Jack, like most of us, is tired of all the island secrets (even if he is hiding a secret prisoner).  He advises Sun to tell her husband the whole truth.  Hey, that's the name of this episode!  When Jack leaves for another mysterious trip to "the hatch", Kate asks Sun if she is okay.  But Sun is only there in body.

  In mind, she is back in the hotel room.  Baldy asks why she is distracted and she tells him about the bad baby news.  He is sorry for her and Jin but reminds her that she is learning English to run away from her husband to America.  Then he pretty much lays his cards on the table when he tells her she doesn't have to go to America if she leaves Jin.  For a while, they just stare at each other longingly.

  Night has fallen on the island, and neither Ana-Lucia or Sayid can sleep.  Ana uses the quiet time to explain herself and sincerely apologize for killing Shannon.  Sayid does not blame her for protecting her people.  He blames the Others for putting her in that position.  With a sinister glare he says that when they find out Henry is one of them, "something will have to be done."

  The next morning, Sayid hears a storm coming and insists that they get moving.  As the rain falls, they reach their destination and to no one's surprise, they do not see a balloon.  Sayid seems ready to pronounce Henry guilty of being an Other, but Ana-Lucia preaches caution.  They need to be sure.  Sayid reluctantly agrees and they begin to search more thoroughly.

  Over on the sunny side of the island, by the ocean, Jin finds Bernard trying to catch oysters but having no luck.  "No oyster here," he says helpfully, which dashes Bernards plans to give Rose a pearl for her birthday.  Sawyer approaches and congratulates Jin on being a daddy, but of course Jin cannot understand.  As Sawyer and Bernard discuss the good news, we hear what Jin hears, which is gibberish.  This makes him realize something.

  Jin returns to the scene of his crime and begins to repair his wife's garden.  When Sun catches him doing it, he says he is sorry for what he did and confesses that he needs her.  He needs her to help him understand what everyone around him is saying.  The tearful apology makes it easier for Sun to reveal to him that she is pregnant.  She stops his celebration prematurely by saying that she has to tell him something.

  She flashes back to when she was walking her dog and Dr. Kim from the fertility clinic approached her.  He has been doing some soul searching and has decided that she should know the truth.  Jin is actually the one who is shooting blanks and cannot have children.  Dr. Kim explains about Jin's reputation as a strong man for Sun's father and if he told a man like that such bad news, surely he would burn down the practice.  (The subtitles here had a type-o.  "You're father"  instead of "Your".  If you get confused, just expand the contraction to what it's short for.  You are father.  That makes no sense.  Easy, right?)

  While Sun was thinking about this, she was also telling Jin, because upon our return to the present, he drops to his knees in shock.  So naive it's almost cute, he wonders how there can be a baby if he can't make one.  Sun swears that she has been true to him, which can mean only one thing- it's a miracle baby!  As they embrace happily, we see that while Sun's mouth says miracle, her eyes say something else. 

  As they continue to repair the garden, they talk about baby names and who already knows about the pregnancy.  Jin suggests they head back for lunch, but Sun wants to stay.  Proving that the new, second season Jin is back for good, he lets her.  Then he surprises her by kissing her and saying "I love you" in English.

  Over in Station Three, Jack decides to let Henry out of his cell for some breakfast.  Henry marvels at the officially licensed Dharma Initiative cereal and also at how little Jack and Locke know about the place.  He can't believe they're not naturally curious about where all the stuff came from.  When Henry mentions the map he drew, he is again surprised that his two captors were in the dark about it.  He says that they have trust issues.  In a speech amusing only to himself, Henry speculates that if he were an Other, he would draw a map to a trap, have their friends captured by his friends and make a trade.  "I guess it's a good thing I'm not one of them, huh?"  As Jack and Locke stare at him, Henry asks for some milk.

  Next time: Ana-Lucia and friends find the balloon, but since the Others do things like carry around theatrical glue, I'm not sure I'm convinced of Henry's innocence yet.  Also, Station Three goes bonkers and traps Locke and Henry inside.  The voice-over guy promised five shocking events and I promise you that I will be counting.  

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Ask Kevin: Results

So my first venture into being an advice columnist did not go that well.  I offered to help and all I got was one person who is afraid of me and a stalker. 

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Ask Kevin

 Got a problem?  Ask me anything.  I'm here to help. 

Seriously.

TV and Music...what else?

- Do FOX programmers even watch their own shows?  If they wanted a mid-season cliffhanger for Prison Break, wouldn't it have been a lot more nerve-racking to have strectched it one more episode last fall and had Lincoln staring at the electric chair with all hope seemingly lost?  Instead, we had "the pipe has been replaced!" and now we only have to wait a week to find out how Lincoln escapes death at the stroke of midnight. 

  Every time I watch this show I think to myself that this is the one I should have bestowed the recap skills on.  I've been wanting to write up a second show for a long time but haven't been confident enough that any show I pick would last.  What if I had started a Threshold recap?  How embarrassing would that have been?  Right now, I'm thinking about the upcoming Kidnapped, if only so I can write about the one, the only, Jeremy Sisto. 

---------------

Here's this week's Top Ten:

1. Mr. November- The National

2. Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games- Of Montreal

3. Gold Lion- Yeah Yeah Yeahs

4. There is No Ending- Arab Strap

5. No Key, No Plan- Okkervil River

6. Munich- Editors

7. Song With a Mission- The Sounds

8. You Have Killed Me- Morrissey

9. Shine a Light- Wolf Parade

10. Conceived- Beth Orton

 

-Album Recommendation:  The Sounds- Dying To Say This To You

  As you may know, Tuesday is the day when albums and DVDs come out.  So I thought I'd add another feature to my weekly music entry since it falls on the same day everything is released.  When I heard on the radio this morning that The Sounds' new album was coming out today, I had to rush to the computer to see if it was available on Rhapsody.  I've been patiently waiting for the single "Song with a Mission" to be on there and, to my delight, it was.  Sometimes Rhapsody can be annoying because most songs are on the radio before being officially released but Rhapsody can't give you a song until it's available for purchase (for obvious reasons).  Anyway, I gave most of the album a listen and, while I don't recommend buying albums in this day and age, if you have Rhapsody or an mp3 player, I would definitely suggest that you check out "Song with a Mission" and "Night After Night" at the very least.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

No mercy!

  - Saturday I had planned to write about everything I go through with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (like how much my left thumb is killing me right now), but then last night I complained it about it to try and get out of something (capped by my sister saying, "Yeah, but you can spend all day on the computer!") so I decided not to use this space to complain.  I'm fine!

- It was a total coincidence that I changed the color on here to green on St. Patrick's Day.  I just got tired of a year and a half of blue and most of AOL's journal color schemes are for girls or robots.

- It is amazing how much less you care about the NCAA tournament when you don't have a bracket filled out.  That's one thing I miss about my job in Utica- I was in charge of that stuff.  This year- nothing.

- LOST is on this Wednesday!  Remember that show?  I PROMISE that the recap will be done the next day.  Of course, my first surgery is on April 3, so I should only have to keep that promise once, considering ABC's programming.

- Entertainment Weekly's latest edition has great feature on Prison Break.  But it's spoiler-ific, so if you don't want to know, avoid it.  I managed to avoid anything huge since they warn you about anything big, but I did get some info I didn't want that there was no warning for.  I'm the kind of guy that doesn't want to know ANYTHING that's going to happen.

- So America lost the World Baseball thing that I watched exactly 0 hours, 0 minutes and 0 seconds of.  I'm no baseball expert, but shouldn't we have gotten a bye to the championship like Ken Jennings did on Jeopardy's Ultimate Tournament?

- Am I the only one who remembers Ken Jennings?  That is so 2005.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Mid-season Grind

  Even if Arrested Development gets picked up by Showtime, I'm not going to order a premium channel for one twenty-two minute show, no matter how fantastic it is.  Therefore, I've decided to branch out and give some of the mid-season replacement comedies a chance.  There are three that I know of.  Actually four, but the WB doesn't count so I'm not going to watch anything on that channel.  There's already a good chance that the three new shows I watched will be canceled (anyone even remember Life on a Stick or Jake in Progress?) so I figure any mid-season show debuting on a network that is about to merge with another network has no chance of making the schedule in the fall.  My apologies to Jane Seymour.  Anyway, I feel like I'm starting to ramble, so I'll just get to the shows that I did watch:

Sons and Daughters (Tuesdays ABC)

  This show has drawn comparisons to AD because it's shot in the same voyeuristic style with hand-held cameras.  That's where the comparisons end, though.  S & D has its moments, but it is not nearly the classic I envisioned when I read the great write-ups it got.  The first two episodes were lackluster until the last ten minutes when two scenes convinced me to give it another chance the next week.  The first was when the mother voiced her outrage that everyone knew her husband was leaving her except her (not exactly what I'm looking for in a COMEDY, but still a good dramatic scene).  The second was the only time I laughed at the show that night, but it was a good one- the sister and her husband lying in bed together sharing their bizarre sexual fantasy.  It wouldn't translate here, but it was hilarious how excited they were getting at these crazy notions they were having.

  As for the second batch of episodes, I will say that, not unlike AD, it helps to know the characters a little better before you can laugh at them.  The show was still not laugh out loud funny, but I got a few chuckles, started to care about the people and, most importantly, didn't regret that I had recorded it a second time.  I can't see myself tuning in on Tuesday rubbing my hands together in anticipation, but Sons and Daughters is a solid, if imperfect, time killer on those long afternoons of doing nothing because of your Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Grade: B-

Free Ride (Sundays FOX)

  I only saw twenty minutes of the second episode of this show, but what I saw was enough for me to make sure I record it this Sunday.  My wife called it "over-the-top" (we were both watching it waiting for Grey's Anatomy to come on) and I would have to agree.  Sometimes, that's just what I want in a comedy.  I didn't have to know who the characters were in order to get at least five genuine laughs out of the show.

Grade: Incomplete, but I'll be back for more.

The Loop (FOX)

  This is the show that got the Life on a Stick slot where FOX tries to get people to stay tuned after American Idol to watch their new shows.  Doesn't usually work, but in this case, I hope it does.  It's not exactly groundbreaking (there is apparently no limit on how many shows can use the unrequited crush on a friend) but I did enjoy every minute of it and am perfectly willing to make it one of "my shows", provided FOX will let me.  I laughed more times in twenty minutes than I did at the last three episodes of My Name is Earl, which has been losing steam over the stretch run.

Grade: A

 

 Overall, I think this season has been a good one for comedy (Emily's Reasons Why Not, notwithstanding).  I will definitely be disappointed if any of the shows I have given my opinion on here are canceled.

  My advice for Sons and Daughters would be to stop reminding us that it is "partially-improvised".  I don't really care and all that knowledge does is distract me from what's going on.  (Like, "Did they tell that kid what to say or is he the world's youngest improv actor?")  I would drop the improv schtick altogether and focuse on getting a script that's funnier than what can be thought of on the fly.  Improv is an unnecessary gimmick for a sitcom.

  Also, to both S & D and The Loop- stop putting up on the screen who everyone is and what their relationship is- that is also distracting.  If the show is good enough, we'll keep tuning in and learn who everyone is.

  Okay, that's it for today.  Don't forget that My Name is Earl and The Office are back with new episodes tonight.  And Fox airs another episode of The Loop before that at 8:30 eastern.  That's an excellent 90 minute block right there.  Plus, CBS has shelved their normally powerhouse line-up for college basketball so there's no excuses.  Support comedy!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

This Week's Top Ten

Here's what I've been listening to this week:

1. Mr. November- The National

2. Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games- Of Montreal

3. No Key, No Plan- Okkervil River

4. Munich- Editors

5. Conceived- Beth Orton

6. You Have Killed Me- Morrissey

7. Ooh La La- Goldfrapp

8. There Is No Ending- Arab Strap

9. Not Going Home- The Elected

10. Wicked Light Sleeper- The Joggers

 As I mentioned yesterday, here is a profile of Maya Arulpragasam, a Sri Lankan from London.  Her band is called M.I.A, but I'm actually not sure if that's a band or just her initials.  Seems to be just her, so who knows.  Anyway, here is her amazing story, courtesy of the Bio page on sing365.com: 

  Maya [Arulpragasam] was born in Hounslow, London but spent little time there as, at only 6 months old, her parents moved the family back to their native Sri Lanka. Motivated by her fathers wish to support the Tamil efforts to win independence from the majority Sinhalese population, her father became politically known as Arular and was a founder member of EROS (the Eelam Revolutionary Organisation of Students), a militant Tamil group.

In Sri Lanka, they lived at first on her grandparent's remote farm, a collection of huts without electricity or running water. After a year, as her fathers involvement in militant activities increased, Maya, her older sister Kali and their mother moved to Jaffna in the far North of the country, where Maya's younger brother Sugu was born. Contact with her father was strictly limited as he was in hiding from the army, he occasionally visited in secret, slipping through the window at night and being introduced to the children as an uncle so that they didn't give him away to the army when they regularly came to question the family.

Eventually, as the civil war escalated, it became unsafe for them to stay in Sri Lanka, so her father sent tickets for them to relocate to Madras in India. Maya's mother moved with the three children into an almost derelict house, 3 miles from the nearest road or neighbor. They scraped by for a while, with sporadic visits from Maya's father, and the girls attended the local school, excelling as students. After a while, visits from friends and family grew less frequent and money grew very tight. The children became ill, Maya's sister caught Typhoid and they struggled to eat enough. A visiting uncle took concern and moved them back to Sri Lanka again, where they settled back in Jaffna.

By now, the violence of the civil war was at its peak and the family repeatedly tried to flee the country. The army regularly shot Tamils seeking to move across border areas and bombed roads and escape routes. After several failed attempts to leave, Maya's mother successfully made it out with the three children, on to India and then finally back to London, where they were housed as refugees.

It was in the late eighties and on a notoriously racist council estate in Mitcham, Surrey, that Maya began to learn English. Aged just eleven and in a new country, she was exposed to western radio for the first time by the noise resonating from her neighbours. Her affinity with hip-hop and rap began from there - the uncompromising attitudes of Public Enemy and N.W.A. clicked with a frustrated, energetic war-child trying to relate to grey and foreign surroundings.

Maya was a talented and creative student, eventually winning a place at London's Central Saint Martins Art School, where she studied fine art, film and video. Here, for the first time, she began to piece together some of the different strands of her life experience. In an early incarnation of what was later to become M.I.A., she learnt how to play off her different cultural personae against each other; layering rap iconography with the warfare pictures from her youth, Asian Britain with American new-wave film making style and St. Martin's fashion sense with refugee outlooks.

A successful art career beckoned and, for a while, seemed to be Maya's destined path. Her first-ever public exhibition of paintings featured candy colored spray-paint and stencil pictures of the Tamil terrorist movement. Graffitied tigers and palm trees mixed with orange, green and pink camouflage, bombs, guns and freedom fighters on chip board off-cuts and canvases. The show was nominated for the alternative Turner prize, every painting sold and a monograph book of the collection was published by Pocko (which was simply entitled 'M.I.A.', an acronym for Missing In Acton).

A commission from Elastica's Justine Frischmann to provide the artwork and cover image for the band's second album led to Maya following the bandon tour around forty American states, video-documenting the event. The support act on the tour was electro-clash supremo Peaches, who introduced Maya to the Roland MC-505 sequencing machine and gave her the courage to take on the one art-form she felt least confident in, music.

Back home in London, Maya and Justine got hold of their own 505 and, working with the simplest of set-ups (a second-hand 4-track, the 505 and a radio mic), Maya worked-up a series of six songs onto a demo tape which became her calling card to the industry. The tape found it's way into the hands of Steve Mackey and Ross Orton who then re-worked "Galang" into the monstrous meld of influences that would eventually propel M.I.A. into the limelight.

An addictive mashed-up recipe of dancehall, electro, grime and world music, Showbiz Records only pressed up 500 copies of Galang but that was enough for her to go on and win the instant support of DJs and the media seemingly everywhere.

The majors did indeed pile in with M.I.A. eventually opting to sign to XL Recordings (home to Dizzee Rascal, Basement Jaxx and the White Stripes), embracing them as they were the only label to offer her 100% creative control. Meanwhile, the underground success of "Galang" had continued to spread, even earning M.I.A. plaudits in the American Press.

For her next single release, "Sunshowers," Maya again hooked up again with Ross Orton and Steve Mackey who had furnished her so successfully with the insane electro-squelch and mangled beats on "Galang." Hitting the UK airwaves this past June, they pushed boundaries even further with hyper-minimalist production and a reworked chorus from Dr. Buzzards Original Savannah Band's track of the same name to create a hypnotic template for her to fire out her young-girl bravado, this time about guerilla warfare and the Tamil-Sinhalese civil war.

With this first single proper barely on the shelves and no gigs at all to her name, New York's Fader magazine made her their cover star with the strap-line 'THIS IS M.I.A. - MUSIC'S NOW THING!' She flew out to New York to perform her first ever live set (for the launch of the issue) to a screaming crowd of hyped fans and then stayed to see Matthew Williamson open and close his fashion week runway show with "Sunshowers."

The accompanying video for "Galang", featuring multiple M.I.A.'s amid a backdrop of her graffiti artwork animated and brought to life, was directed by Ruben Fleischer and art directed by M.I.A. herself. On the surface it looked like a colourful pop video but watch it carefully and you'll see scenes of urban Britain and the ongoing Sri Lankan civil war being depicted and delivered with a wry sense of humour. M.I.A. is fast proving herself to be a far from ordinary pop star.

Her debut album, Arular , is set for release in February 2005. Titled in acknowledgment of her father's past, it follows the same philosophy that unites all strands of the M.I.A. project - cut and paste. The mix of production credits on the album all feature forays into new territory for the collaborators, with ex-Pulp member Steve Mackey doing dancehall and pop-maestro Richard X working with Sri Lankan nursery rhymes; and from her hand-sprayed artwork on the record sleeves, lyrics that mix Tamil, cockney and American slang to her tracksuits and hoodies specially sewn from the brightest, boldest African print fabrics, or Mowgli dance moves for ragga beats - M.I.A. creates culture clashes that work. - Courtesy of XL/Beggars

  Here is M.I.A on AOL Videos: M.I.A. :Arular :'Bucky Done Gun'   

  I'm sure you'll hate it, but I like it and after everyone telling me I should go to a concert in a genre of music I hate, I really don't care what you think.  :-P

Monday, March 13, 2006

Resolution

  My wife came home today  (LMAO- I almost typed that my wife came out today.)  and said that her friend Liz wants to with her to the concert.  Based on the comments I received, I don't think I made it quite clear enough how much I don't like country music.  Anyway, big sigh of relief here.

  If you haven't read my book yet, why not?  My perfect record of everyone liking it continued today with a letter my grandmother-in-law sent from one of the relatives who bought my book at Christmas.  Here is what she said:

  I finished Kevin’s book a few weeks ago. I was very impressed. Before I started to read it, I thought about what I like best about my favorite authors and the way they write. I like a book that grabs my attention within the first few pages; because I read very slowly I like short chapters; and I like something at the very end of the chapter that makes me want to keep on reading. Kevin’s book had all of these. As I read the book I kept thinking, "He’s only in his 20’s – how did he write this? What life experiences did he draw on? How did he think of these things?" If you can’t tell, I was impressed. I hope he keeps going with his writing. Please let him know that I really liked the book and am awaiting the next one.

Dilemma

  You have no idea how much it physically hurt to catch up on all those LOST recaps!  But it was good, though.  It made me realize that my physical therapy has really gotten me nowhere.  My left hand is going to be operated on April 3, stiches out on April 13.  I called the nurse today and asked if I could schedule the right hand so she penciled that one in for April 21.  Pending how well I recover from the first surgery.  I told her I at no point wanted to be completely incapacitated.  She said she didn't blame me.

 --------------------

Wanted:  Someone to take my wife to a country music concert. 

  My wife really, really, really wants to go to the Faith Hill/Tim McGraw concert that is coming to the Pepsi Arena in Albany.  Unfortunately, she has not found anyone to go with her.  So, of course, who does she fall back on?  ME.  Now, I've done a lot of things at my wife's request, but I cannot describe how much this would be one of the circles of hell for me.  I loathe/ despise/ utterly can't stand country music.  It drives me crazy and sends my body and brain into a rage, not unlike the movie 28 Days Later, until I can get away from it.  I even wrote about it way back in "Eight Things I Hate", putting it in the Number 1 slot.  Take a look:

Eight Things I Hate

  If I wrote that today, I'd probably bump static electricity up to #4, but other than that, it's the same.  Country music is still my #1 most hated thing.  I hate, hate, hate it.  So, is my wife wrong for knowing this and still wanting me to go, or am I wrong for not wanting to take my wife to something she would enjoy?  Or can it be both?

  Oh, and just to prove how out of touch my wife is with what I listen to, she offered to go with me to something I like, even though the crowd that goes to my concerts would not be "my kind of crowd".  For the record, I don't listen to crazy rock/punk music like someone having a quarter-life crisis.  (Yes, I am going to live to 120)  Most of the music I listen to is sweet and/or mellow.  It really is.  And the DJ's on the station I listen to are nerdy music elitists in their thirties.  I think that is exactly my crowd, for better orworse.

  So please, anyone within shouting distance of Albany, please step up and keep my first ever concert experience from being one where I might murder someone!

-------

  Speaking of the indie music scene, I read some interesting news here: FMQB: Radio Industry News, Music Industry Updates, Arbitron Ratings, Music News and more!

  It seems there is a petition and an investigation ongoing to put a stop to the unfair practices that have been going on in radio.  Why have I only discovered indie music after getting Sirius?  It's because it has been almost impossible to hear it anywhere else!  Indie record labels don't have as much clout or money to get their artists on the standard radio airwaves.  Hopefully, this will soon be remedied and the obscure bands I've come to love will be on the radio next to Nickelback and the Black-Eyed Peas.

 

Tomorrow:  My new top ten, plus a profile of a woman who has one of the most fascinating rises to musical stardom I have ever read.

Friday, March 10, 2006

LOST- Episode 39: Maternity Leave

Original airdate: 3/1/06

  Would you believe I almost FORGOT to record this episode?  If you really need to know what previously happened on LOST, please consult the archives.  If I remember correctly, they gave us the history of Ethan.

  The first thing I have is Claire walking away from Locke in the middle of the night, upset that the baby is crying.  She wants to go see Jack over in Station Three, but Locke stops her and offers to go for her.

  So Locke teleports over there and wakes the doctor up with news of the baby's fever.  When Locke mentions that Claire had been on her way there, they both glance at the armory door- the captive Henry Gale being the real reason Locke didn't want Claire there.

  Back at the beach, Claire is trying frantically to stop Aaron's crying.  She thinks she hears Jack coming, but when she turns around she sees Danielle Rousseau instead.  Claire warns her to stay away, but Rousseau continues to creep forward, asking if the baby is infected.  Claire is puzzled by her questions and Rousseau realizes that she does not remember her abduction.

  Or does she?  Rousseau's words trigger a lightning quick flash of images in Claire's brain.  A needle is injected into her stomach as an unseen voice tells her that they do not want the baby to get sick.  Then the images become more vivid.  They are of Claire scratching and clawing to get away from Rousseau.

  The commotion has stirred Kate out of bed.  She comes running and demands that Rousseau leave their camp.  Rousseau wordlessly obeys.  Kate asks Claire what happened and in near tears, she replies that something is wrong with the baby.  This cues the creepy LOST title screen.

  Later, Claire expresses her fears to Jack that the fever and rash could be a sign of something worse.  Jack thinks that it is more likely a run of the mill illness.  When Jack wonders where Claire got the notion of an infection, Kate tells him about Rousseau.  He assures Claire that Rousseau is crazy and that the best action is to just let the baby's fever run its course.

  The next morning, Claire and Kate approach Libby and ask for her help.  Claire explains what happened with Ethan and about her amnesia.  Libby thinks that as a pyschologist, she can help Claire regain the two weeks of her abduction that are missing from her memory.  Claire doesn't have amnesia- she has a mental block.

  Over in Station Three of the Dharma Initiative, Jack brings Henry Gale some food and Locke brings him a book to read- something by Dostoevsky.  Henry jokes that he would prefer Stephen King.  Outside the armory, Jack asks Locke about giving Henry the book and Locke answers that it's just something to pass the time.  He then launches into how Hemingway was always jealous of Dostoevsky for being a better writer.  He eventually moves on and asks what the long term plan for Henry is.  Jack tells him there is no plan, but he's open to suggestions.  From the other room, Henry suggests letting him go.

  In a peaceful beach spot far from the noise of the camp, Libby begins breathing exercises to help Claire get more relaxed and open-minded.  As Claire concentrates, her quick flashes of memory begin again, but this time they eventually settle into a standard LOST flashback.  She is pregnant and getting a check-up.  The doctor explains that she is mildly sedated, then opens a locked fridge and prepares to give her an injection.  The camera in Claire's brain pans up to reveal that the presiding doctor is one Ethan Rom.  Upon injection into her stomach, the alarming memory flashes resume and Claire is brought back to the present screaming, thrashing and freaking Libby out.

  Kate, Aaron, Libby and Claire are all upset not, but Claire insists that they must "do it again."  Libby thinks that Claire has experienced a merging of several memories, but Claire is convinced that what she saw was real.  There was medicine in the place where she was taken and she has to go there.

  Back in Station Three, Jack hears Mr. Eko coming and ducks into the bathroom.  He closes the door and hushes a shaving Henry.  Eko finds Locke changing a light bulb and asks him if he can borrow a saw.  As he walks by, Eko notices the armory and the unmade cot inside and makes a mental note of it.

  On the beach, Kate asks Sawyer for a gun and insists that he doesn't get to ask why.  Since he has all the leverage, he insists that he does get to ask.  So Kate tells him that they are going after Rousseau because she might know where Claire was taken.  Sawyer asks her what kind of gun she wants.

  Elsewhere, Sun is very upset that Claire is leaving her baby behind.  She asks if she really wants to go through with it.  These words cause Claire to pause for a moment and begin to remember again...

  Ethan is giving her another injection and apologizes that it hurts.  She is currently too drugged to care.  She reacts with childlike wonder when Ethan offers to show her a surprise.  He leads her down a long, dank corridor (they pass a Dharma logo on the way).  Ethan opens a door and shows her what will be the baby's nursery.  As Claire studies the room, she asks what happened to Charlie and Ethan lies that when they got far enough away, he was let go.  Doped up Claire seems satisfied with this answer.  She then notices a mobile hanging over the crib- the same airplane mobile that was in her nightmare just prior to her abduction.  As she turns it on and listens to the music, Ethan is called away by a guy that sounds a lot like "Zeke", only he doesn't have a beard.  It seems Ethan is in a bit of trouble for not making "the list" before taking Claire.  Ethan insists that this was not his fault because they knew he wasn't on the plane.  "Zeke" is pretty upset and wonders what "he" will do when "he" finds out about this.  He then notices Claire watching and shuts the door, effectively ending the memory.  Claire snaps out of her trance just in time to leave with Kate into the jungle.

  As they walk, Claire asks about Rousseau so Kate fills her in on what she knows.  When Claire asks why Rousseau would kill her crew, Rousseau herself shows up to answer, "Because they were infected."  Claire gets suddenly aggressive and demands that Rousseau take her to the place where she scratched her.  Rousseau says that it is not far and they begin to walk again.

  At the beach, Eko approaches Jack and asks straight up who the stranger in "the hatch" is.  After establishing that Locke didn't tell him, Eko asks to speak to the man alone in exhange for his silence on the whole matter.

  Meanwhile, in the jungle, the girls have reached the spot where Rousseau was scratched and there is nothing of interest there.  There seems to be a misunderstanding as both Claire and Rousseau think the other should know where to go next.  Things start to get physical and Kate is forced to draw the gun on the French woman.  Rousseau moves toward the gun and begs Kate to do it.  Beforeany murders can be committed, Kate realizes that Claire has wandered off.  She's only a few yards away, however.  She sees an oddly shaped log and once again her shattered memories begin to piece themselves back together.

  Her thoughts settle on the nursery where Ethan watches her sit in the rocking chair knitting a booty.  He asks her if she wants to go for a walk.

  Outside in the jungle, Ethan tells her he couldn't bring her out more because his friends are afraid she will run away.  When she stumbles and laughs, it becomes apparent that she is in no condition to do anything on her own, let alone run away.  They sit down on the log that triggered the flashback and Ethan tells her that he is going to miss her and wishes that she didn't have to go back to her friends.  Claire actually suggests staying, but Ethan reminds her that there is not enough vaccine.  She worries about seeing the baby, but oddly, Ethan tells her that no one is going to take the baby if she doesn't wish them to.  She has a choice.

  Once she snaps back to reality, Claire begins to search the nearby brush until she finds what she is looking for.  She pulls back a tarp and reveals another hatch.  They open it and see a long corridor, lit only by a dim, flickering light.

  The three women make their way cautiously and find a supply box full of flashlights.  Kate goes off on her own to try and get the power on, while Claire follows her instincts and fuzzy memories into the room that was once a nursery.  The lights come on to reveal that the only thing left is the rocking chair.

  Elsewhere, Kate enters what appears to be a locker room and begins rummaging around.  She finds a wool hat, some dirty clothes and a trunk containing a fake grey beard and some officially licensed Dharma Initiative theatrical glue. 

  On the floor, Claire finds the single booty she completed while there, which triggers the memory of a woman telling her to wake up.  The young woman helps her up and practically shoves her out the door.  Claire looks down the hallway and sees several people in white preparing an operating room.  The girl warns her that they are going to cut the baby out and let Claire die- she has to leave- now.  Claire doesn't believe it so the girl is forced to take drastic measures and knock Claire out with a rag over her mouth.  "You'll thank me for this, one day," she tells her.

  Once again in the present, Claire is filled with a renewed sense of purpose.  She has seen the room where the medicine was and marches to the end of the hallway and into the operating room.  She calls for Kate and together they lift up the tipped over fridge.  Claire is dismayed to see that it is completely empty.  She turns her wrath on Rousseau- convinced that she must know where the vaccine is.  Looking into the confused French woman's eyes stirs up yet another forgotten memory, however.  Claire is in the jungle and Rousseau is warning her to be quiet.  Claire, sensing danger, scratches Rousseau and tries to run.  With the Others' search party drawing closer, Rousseau takes swift action, knocking Claire out with the butt of her rifle.

  Claire now realizes that Rousseau wasn't trying to bring her back to the Others.  She was trying to save her.  Rousseau admits that she carried her on her back and left her where her friends would find her.  She turns to leave and Claire asks where she is going.  "You're not the only one who didn't find what they were looking for," she answers sadly.

  As the dejected team trudges back through the jungle, Rousseau stops and says she will go no further with them.  Claire asks her about her long-lost baby girl- Alexandra.  She then tells her that there was a young girl who helped her escape and was not like the others.  She was good.  Danielle is visibly pleased by this and says she is sorry they didn't find the vaccine.  She hopes the baby is not infected, "but if it is," she warns, "I hope you know what must be done."  With that pleasant thought lingering in the air, Rousseau walks away from them.

  In Station Three, Jack tells Locke that Eko knows about Henry, so Locke opens the armory to give Eko what he requested.  Once inside, Mr. Eko confesses his sins to Henry.  He is sorry for what happened on his first night on the island and regrets killing those two men.  When Henry asks the obvious, "Why are you telling me this?", Eko answers that he needed to tell someone.  With that, he pulls out a Bowie knife and holds it to his throat.  He slices off a piece of his beard and hands it over to a bewildered Henry.

  Back at the beach, Claire is happy to hear Jack's news thatAaron has gotten all better.  After Jack leaves, Claire gives her son the one booty she knitted for him and promises that they will always be together.

  Over in the armory, Locke brings Henry some food and their conversation turns toward what Locke mentioned earlier- Hemingway vs. Dostoevsky.  Henry's point is to ask Locke why he takes orders from Jack.  "Jack and I make decisions together," Locke assures him.  Henry apologizes and begins to eat.  When Locke gets outside the door, he reveals that Henry's words have gotten to him and the throws the dishes on the floor in a mini-tantrum.  Henry hears the noise and takes note of it, but he doesn't quite smile, even if he wants to.

  Next time: Locke seeks Ana-Lucia's help in getting Henry out of "his hatch."  That sounds kind of dirty, but whatever it means, it leads A-L and Sayid on a quest to find Henry's downed hot air balloon. 

LOST- Episode 38: One of Them

Original air date: 2/15/06

  Previously on LOST: Rousseau told Sayid about The Others, who have since done a lot of stuff to our survivors.

  There's a war going on and Sayid's troop is getting raided.  The Iraqi soldiers are shredding documents as fast as they can when American troops burst through the door with guns pointed.  The U.S. sergeant demands to know who is in charge and threatens to shoot the one man who won't stop shredding.  This makes Sayid yell for his comrade to stop.  With the attention now focused on him, Sayid denies that he is in charge and says that their commanding officer fled two hours ago.  The sarge is impressed with Sayid's English, but thinks he is lying and knocks him out.

  Later, Sayid the POW is asked to be a translator so the U.S. can find out what Sayid's captured commanding officer has done with a downed helicopter pilot.

  In the present, Sayid is washing up when Ana-Lucia runs up looking for Jack.  She settles for Sayid and leads him into the jungle where they spot someone coming toward them.  Sayid recognizes Danielle Rousseau and sends Ana-Lucia home.  Sayid runs over to cut off Rousseau's path and ask her what she is doing there.  "Looking for you," she replies solemnly.  This cues the creepy LOST title screen.

  Rousseau leads Sayid through the jungle, but in typical LOST fashion, she won't say why.  Sayid has an ace up his sleeve, however.  He stops walking and demands to know where they are going.  This forces Danielle to stop as well.  Sayid does not trust her since she lied about the Others the last time they saw each other.  She offers up that the place they are going is important and will help him.  To gain trust, she hands over her gun.

  Sayid flashes back to his first attempt to get information from his leader.  The captive is less than cooperative so Sayid tries to cover for him by insisting that the man is saying that he doesn't know where the pilot is.  The U.S. soldiers don't believe him, but all they can do at the moment is lock them both back up.

  On the beach, Sawyer can't get a good nap in because of the irritating cries of a tree frog.  He asks Jin to help him find it, but Jin just keeps on walking.  Sawyer doesn't have too many friends these days.  He heads into the jungle alone.

  He doesn't find the frog, but he does find some leverage over someone.  Hurley is caught red-handed stuffing his face with his secret stash of officially licensed Dharma Initiative junk food.  Sawyer quickly makes a deal to keep Hurley's secret in exchange for help locating the frog.

  Elsewhere, Danielle picks up her hidden bow and arrow and announces that they have arrived at their destination.  Sayid hears cries for help and sees a man hanging from one of Danielle's homemade traps.  The trapped man is panicked and begs Sayid to cut him down.  He offers that he is Henry Gale from Minnesota.  Danielle insists that he is lying.  "He is one of them," she warns.  Sayid is not as easily convinced and decides to cut Henry down.  As soon as he is free, Henry makes a run for it and despite Sayid's protests, Danielle shoots him in the shoulder with an arrow, knocking him out.  Sayid is pretty mad as he makes sure the man is still breathing.  Danielle continues to be pretty damned sure that Henry is an Other.  She helps Sayid tie him up and warns him that Henry will lie for a long time.

  As Sayid carries Henry to Jack on his shoulders, he flashes back to a meeting with a U.S. military higher-up.  He shows Sayid footage of a village being gassed- a village where Sayid had relatives.  The army big shot tells him that Tariq- Sayid's commander was responsible.  Even if this new information has swayed Sayid's loyalties, he insists that Tariq will never talk.  That's when Sayid's new friend breaks out the box-o'-torture and says to "make him talk."

  In Station Three of the Dharma Initiative, Sayid wakes  Locke up and shows him Henry Gale.  When questioned, Henry, through troubled breaths, tells his story.  Four months ago (FOUR!), he and his wife crashed on the island in a hot air balloon during their quest to cross the Pacific.  He then claims that his wife got sick and died while they were living in a cave off the beach.  Just then, Jack crashes the party and asks what is going on.  He begins to treat the man, who still has an arrow sticking out of him and any more questions will have to wait.  Sayid warns Jack not to untie him.

  In the jungle, Sawyer and Hurley have begun Operation: Tree Frog, but Hurley stops after he can take no more teasing.  He says he knows he is fat and likes to eat, but at least people like him.  He starts to walk off,  but Sawyer stops him with a seemingly genuine plea for help.

  Back in Station Three, Jack cuts the arrow out of Henry's shoulder and begins to patch him up.  A few feet away, Locke and Sayid agree that their captive tells a pretty convincing story.  Sayid implies that the only way to the truth is through torture and Jack might have a problem with that.  Locke agrees to change the combination to the armory so Sayid can have some alone time with Henry.

  Once Locke is done, which took him about the length of a commercial break, he and Sayid suggest keeping Henry in the armory so no one will walk in, see him and panic.  Smooth, guys.  Jack doesn't suspect a thing.  Once they get their captive inside, Sayid hangs back and locks he and Henry inside.  A confused Jack pounds on the door as Sayid prepares for "what needs to be done."

  Before he starts that, Sayid thinks back to attempt #2 to get the information from Tariq.  As Sayid lays out the instruments of torture on the table, Tariq laughs.  He thinks Sayid is too loyal a soldier to go through with it.  He orders his subordinate to kill himself on the spot and save his dignity, but Sayid won't do it.  Tarik spits in his face, which only makes Sayid pick up one of the instruments.

  As the U.S. soldiers pace outside, Sayid emerges with blood on his hands.  The bad news is that the downed helicopter pilot was already executed.  Sayid offers to take them to the grave.

  Back in the present, Jack can't quite get the lock combination to work.  I hate when that happens.  It's not his fault, though.  Locke admits that he changed it and explains that what Sayid is doing is part of the very war effort Jack wants to train an army for. 

  Inside the armory, Sayid ignores Henry's pleas for mercy and answers and continues to ask his own questions.  Henry has a quick answer for every one, but Sayid is not satisfied.  Henry finally gets tired of explaining himself and demands to know who Sayid is.  The answer he receives is chilling.   "My name is Sayid Jarrah and I am a torturer."

  Back in the jungle, Sawyer and Hurley have found their prey.  They approach slowly, but the frog leaps.  Sawyer uses his quick reflexes to catch the thing in mid-air.  As Saywer petsthe harmless creature, Hurley offers to release it a few beaches away.  Sawyer likes his own idea better- crushing the thing in his bare fist.  He puts the dead body in a disappointed Hurley's outstretched hands and walks away.

  Over in Station Three, Jack tells Locke to shut up when he tries to make peace.  In the armory, Sayid directs his questioning toward the balloon.  Henry again has all the answers without missing a beat.  When Sayid questions this method of travel, Henry reveals that he was rich from selling his mining company and it was his dream to travel by balloon.  Sayid is still not satisfied so he breaks out the pliers and asks for Henry's hands.  As the situation escalates, Henry finally begins to give some answers that Sayid really doesn't like.  If Henry had really buried someone he loved, he would remember every excruciating detail.  Sayid has done this, so he knows.  If Henry can't remember what it was like then he must not have ever done it.  Thinking about Shannon and perceiving that Henry is lying about his wife makes Sayid angry.  He drops the pliers and begins a merciless beating with his bare hands.

  From outside the door, Jack has heard enough and grabs Locke by the shirt and pushes him against the wall.  Locke stands his ground and refuses to open the door.  They both notice the countdown alarm beginning to sound, which Jack tries to use as a bargaining tool.  At this point, he's ready to see what happens at 0, but is Locke?  The answer is no, as Locke gives in, quickly opens the armory and rushes over to the computer.  As Jack pulls Sayid off of Henry, Locke is too late and the counter reaches 0.  The flaps begin to spin frantically and settle on some ominous red symbols.  Locke finally gets the numbers in and hits enter.  The counter then flips back to its normal, dull 815.  Jack finally drags Sayid out of the armory, but not before Sayid and Henry have an icy staredown.

  After things cool down, Sayid tells Jack that he "just knows" that Henry is one of them.  Hey, that's the name of this episode!  Jack reminds him that Rousseau once thought Sayid himself was an Other.  Locke points out that it is all relative.  Everyone is an Other to Rousseau.

  Sayid flashes back to when he was riding in a U.S. transport.  The truck stops and the man in charge lets him out.  He sets him free and gives him a couple of bucks because the U.S. is pulling out of Kuwait.  Sayid says that what he did to Tariq, no man should ever have to do.  Surprisingly, the man answers in Iraqi and says that someday Sayid will need something and now he knows how to get it.  As the truck pulls away, Sayid is left on the side of the road with a lot to think about.

  As the sun sets on the beach, Sayid tells Charlie all about what happened in the armory.  He says he knew Henry was an Other because when he beat him, he felt no guilt.  Jack and Locke wouldn't understand that because they have forgotten that Charlie was hung and left for dead and all the other terrible things their enemies have done to them.  The Others will do anything they want with no remorse.  "Have you forgotten?" he asks Charlie.

  Next time: Libby helps Claire remember what happened when she was abducted, which sends her on a quest to return to the place where she was taken.

Thursday, March 9, 2006

LOST- Episode 37: The Long Con

Original air date: 2/8/06

  Previously on LOST: Charlie kidnapped Aaron and "Zeke" warned Jack about crossing the line.  This made Jack want to train an army.

  In Station Three of the Dharma Initiative, Locke lets Jack into the armory so he can add the marshal's gun case to their weapons collection.  Jack notices the Mary statues and Locke explains that he kept them for possible medicinal purposes but didn't want to break them out of superstition.  Who says this show never provides any answers?  Jack asks for the lock combination, which Locke, of course, has to make a big deal out of.  He assumes it's because something might happen to him and not because of mistrust.  "There are a lot of cliffs on this island," Jack deadpans.  The combo is 7-33-18.  Figure out what that means, obsessed nerds!  I'll get you started.  Those numbers add up to 58, which is only ten more than the number of survivors in the pilot episode.  Ten is the value of the King Hurley had when playing Blackjack.  Clearly, this means they are all dead.  Anyway, Locke also suggests locking up the medicine.  When Jack asks why, the director answers him by switching scenes to Sawyer coming out of the ocean.  He smiles and officially welcomes Charlie to the outskirts of the society that Jack built.  Charlie shrugs off the teasing and suggests that Sawyer be more concerned with Jack ransacking his tent.

  Sawyer rushes over in a huff and finds Jack taking back the medicine Sawyer stole.  Sawyer says it was his first, but Jack tells him he doesn't get to have a stash anymore.  Jack walks away from Sawyer's thinly veiled threats and gets an evil eye staredown from the con man.  This cues the creepy LOST title screen.

  Sawyer flashes back to when he was in bed with yet another beautiful woman saying exactly the same things he said in the con run in one of his earlier focal point episodes.  This time, however, the woman is too smart and recognizes the situation as the "can't-miss investment" scam.  Sawyer admits he is busted and wants to just walk away.  The woman tells him he was wasting his time because she didn't get anything in her divorce, but she does have an idea.  She wants Sawyer to teach her the ways of the con man.

  In the present, Kate brings Sawyer a woman's magazine since he's out of reading material.  Since he lost his glasses on the raft, he flirtingly asks her to read it to him.  Before she can start, Locke walks by and Sawyer speculates that his interest in Claire is less than virtuous.  "Not everyone is like you, Sawyer," Kate answers.  Sawyer then mentions Jack and Ana-Lucia's army, which apparently, Kate has been left out of.

  Elsewhere, Hurley finds Sayid and tells him about Bernard's radio.  He also mentions that Bernard is a dentist, which I find interesting, since the only other thing we've learned about him is that he has a sweet tooth.  Anyway, Hurley wants Sayid to use his technical know-how to boost up the radio's power.  Sayid thinks it's a waste of time since all he'll get is Rousseau's signal again.  Hurley is visibly disappointed, but he would be glad to know that after he left, Sayid took a good long stare at the radio.

  In the jungle, Ana-Lucia expresses disbelief that Locke gave Jack the armory combination so willingly.  She thinks they can't get anyone to join their army because everyone feels too safe.

  That all might change, however, since Sun was just abducted right out of her secret garden.  From the beach, Sawyer and Kate hear Sun's muffled cries and go running to help.  They find her a few feet into the jungle, bound and lying in the mud unconscious.  Sawyer brings her to Jack and tells him what happened.  This brings Ana-Lucia to one chilling conclusion.  "They're back."

  And so the pow-wow begins at the beach.  Jack and Ana-Lucia want to take some guns and look around, but Locke thinks they are just as likely to end up shooting each other as they are one of them.  (I'm looking at you, Ana.)  Jack agrees to let Sun wake up and tell them what happened, but then they are going to do something about it.

  Elsewhere, Kate and Sawyer have begun investigating on their own.  Sawyer has his doubts about the Others' involvement since Sun got away, but the other day, Kate couldn't.  They find the hood that was thrown over Sun's head and Sawyer channels his inner detective to determine that it is not the same style of fabric or design that the Others used on Kate.  Sawyer thinks someone was trying to scare the masses into joining an army.

  He then flashes back to a fairly simple con he taught to his new apprentice.  He puts expensive price tags on junky jewelry and sells them at a "discount" to some guys at a gas station.  When Sawyer's friend expresses interest, the targeted guys quickly want in on the action.  Easy money.

  At the beach, Jack tells Jin that Sun will be fine.  He is then met by Kate, who lets her concerns about Ana-Lucia be known.  Jack doesn't seem like he wants to hear her theory.  He almost puts on his about-to-cry face, but instead just walks away.

  Walking along the beach later, Ana-Lucia brings the doctor the good news that more people have been inspired to join the army.  This, however, plays right into the seeds of doubt Kate just planted.  He asks Ana-Lucia where she was during the attack- an accusation she doesn't look too thrilled with.  Before they can throw down, Claire runs up with word that Sun has woken up.

  Sun tries to explain what happened, but she doesn't remember much and it's taking twice as long to say it in both English and Korean.  Her every word makes Jin more and more angry until he lets Jack know that he has a new word in his vocabulary.  "Gun."  From afar, Sawyer and Kate watch the goings-on and Kate pieces together that this whole thing has been a ploy by Ana-Lucia to get into the armory.  Kate asks Sawyer to head to Station Three of the Dharma Initiative and warn Locke that Jack and his posse are on the way.

  This request makes Sawyer think back to a bathroom scene with his partner/lover.  She is getting bored and wants to up the ante.  Sawyer reluctantly tells her what a long con is.  He says it takes a lot of money, which they don't have.  She then reveals that she actually got $600,000 in her divorce which makes Sawyer upgrade to an "I'll think about it."

  In Station Three of the Dharma Inititative, Sawyer finds Locke alphabetizing the library.  Sawyer scoffs at this, but savvy viewers will realize that Locke was probably really looking for more film splices.  Sawyer tells Locke about Jack and offers to help because he would love nothing more than to piss Jack off since he took his meds.  They agree that Sawyerwill hang around to push the button while Locke moves the guns out of the armory.

  In flashback land, Sawyer meets up in the diner where Kate's mom works with his real partner- character actor, Kevin Dunn.  Sawyer admits that he has his girl, Cassidy, right where he wants her, but he has fallen for her and won't go through with the con.  Kevin Dunn gets pretty mad about this and threatens both Sawyer's and Cassidy's lives.  Sawyer walks away anyway.

  Back in the present, the beeping alarm wakes Sawyer from his naptime flashback just as Jack and Jin arrive.  Jack is, of course, dismayed to find that the armory is now empty and demands to know what is going on.  Sawyer plays dumb, which infuriates Jack to the point that Jin has to hold him back.

  That night at the beach, Jack confronts Locke about the guns.  Locke says he had to do it because Jack was about to break their agreement to consult each other before accessing the armory.  Locke doesn't want any more guns in play because he feels guilty about what happened with Michael.  Their argument is ended swiftly by the sound of actual gunfire.  They turn to see Sawyer approaching with a smoking gun and a smirk.  Sawyer tells them that they're both stupid.  As everyone looks on in disbelief, he explains how mad he is about people taking his stuff while he was off on the raft.  Worse than that, while he was gone, everyone began taking orders from Jack and Locke.  Sawyer has the guns now and anyone who wants one will have to come to him.  "There's a new sheriff in town, boys," he practically cackles.

  Sawyer then thinks back to his return home to Cassidy.  He lets her in on what has really been going on- that she is the long con.  If he doesn't walk out the door with her money in two minutes, the man in the parked car outside will kill them both.  She is mad, but softens when she realizes that Sawyer decided not to go through with it.  He hands her a bag full of money and leads her to the back door, promising to meet her in the morning.  They exhange proclamations of love and she runs off.

      Night has fallen on the island and Kate asks Sawyer how he pulled off the con.  He will never tell.  Kate is pretty upset about how she played right into his hands, but hey, what are ya gonna do?  She knows now that this whole thing was really about Sawyer's need for people to hate him.

  Elsewhere, Hurley has found the much talked-about ingenius marketing ploy- a manuscript called 'The Bad Twin'- soon to be a real honest to goodness book in a store near you!  Sayid is more interested in showing him that he went ahead and souped up Bernard's radio.  They fiddle with it and eventually pick up a crystal clear radio station playing "Moonlight Serenade."  Hurley is excited, but Sayid bursts his bubble by babbling some technical mumbo-jumbo about how the signal could be coming from anywhere.  "Or any time," Hurley jokes.

  On the outskirts of camp, Sawyer meets up with his partner in crime, one Charlie Pace.  Charlie was the one who grabbed Sun and followed Locke to the guns' new hiding place.  Sawyer offers a reward of a Mary statue, but that is not why Charlie did it.  It's because he wanted Locke to feel like a fool.  Charlie asks Sawyer how he could ever think of their whole plan. 

  Before answering, Sawyer finishes up his earlier flashback.  After Cassidy left, he went out to the empty car outside, counted some Mississippis, then went back inside.  He packed up the real bag of money, turned a picture of him and Cassidy face down and walked out of the house.

  In the present, Sawyer answers the question.  "I'm not a good person, Charlie.  Never done a good thing in my life."

  Next time: Rousseau captures a stranger and there's only one thing to do- have Sayid torture him!  Also, the Dharma countdown reaches zero.

LOST- Episode 36: Fire + Water

  Original airdate: 1/25/06

  Previously on LOST: Sayid accidentally put Charlie on Temptation Island by showing him the contents of the Mary statues.

  Things kick off in flashback land, presumably, as two young boys eagerly open presents on Christmas morning.  Well, only one boy actually, as all of the boxes are addressed to Liam.  Mom walks in and tells young Charlie that his present is in the corner covered by blankets.  It's a piano, which Charlie is very excited about.  Mom tells him his talent will get them all out of there.  (No pressure)  Charlie turns around to see a grown-up Liam agreeing with her.  Just as a now grown-up Charlie is about to play a tune on the piano, he is interrupted by a butcher chopping meat in the living room telling him that he won't get anywhere unless he learns a trade.  When Charlie finally starts playing, he is transported back to the edge of the island he currently calls home.  He hears baby Aaron crying from inside the piano and tries desperately to open it.  There is an ominous rumbling coming from the jungle now and when Charlie turns back around, the piano is tipped over and floating away in the tide.  At this point, Charlie wakes up from his dream in a cold sweat.  He races over to Claire's tent but finds neither mother nor son.  He does find Sun, though, and she steers him about twenty feet to the left where Claire and Aaron are happily playing with John Locke.  Charlie sees this and instead of approaching, he slinks into the shadows to watch them.  This cues the creepy LOST title screen.

  Later, Charlie finds Claire alone and tries to talk to her, but she will have none of it.  He apologizes and wants things to go back to the way they were before.  Claire tells him that there is no "before"; they were just two strangers on a plane who became friends. 

  Charlie walks away and flashes back to the hospital where he met his newborn niece, Megan, for the first time.  Liam is conspicuous by his absence, so Charlie explains to his wife that he missed the flight home.  One scene later, Charlie arrives home to find his brother strung up on heroin and oblivious to the fact that he is a new father.  Charlie sternly tells Liam that he had better clean himself up.

  On the beach, Hurley reluctantly asks Sawyer if he got to know Libby on the long walk home and if she is cool or not.  Sawyer sees right through the feigned casualness and teases Hurley about a love connection.  Speaking of which, Sawyer next focuses his aim on making sure Kate notices Jack and Ana-Lucia coming out of the jungle yet again.  If Kate is jealous, she doesn't show it. 

  Near the shore, Charlie is practicing his guitar when he hears Aaron crying.  Oddly, the cries are coming from the ocean.  Finding no one to help, Charlie dives into the water.  This is either a dream or a continuity error since we learned way back in "White Rabbit" that Charlie does not swim.  I'm going with the former.  Especially since after he is done fishing Aaron out of the water, Charlie sees his mother and Claire in biblical attire warning him repeatedly and robotically that he has to save the baby.  Hurley appears and asks Charlie what he is doing, but it turns out this isn't part of the dream.  Charlie wakes to find that he is holding the baby on the beach in the middle of the night with no clue how he got there.  From afar, Claire is flipping out that Aaron is gone, but Hurley calls her over.  Charlie stumbles toward an apology, but Claire doesn't wait for it before giving him a hard slap.

  The next day, Hurley and Sawyer are playing Blackjack.  Hurley has a King and a 2, while Sawyer is the dealer showing a 6.  Figure out what that means, obsessed nerds!  I'll get you started: Hurley's last name is Spanish for king and 6+2=8, which is one of the cursed numbers.  Discuss.  Anyway, Hugo can't quite understand why he should stand on 12 with the dealer showing  a low card, so Sawyer welcomes the distraction of Libby walking by.  Hurley is a little gun shy about making his move, so Sawyer yells for her and disappears into his tent.  Hurley meekly waves at her and receives what looks like- yes, they are bedroom eyes.

  In the jungle, Charlie meets Locke coming out of the hatch.  (BTW, how pissed must Locke be that he spent half of last season trying to blow open the hatch door when there was a regular door all along?)  Charlie tries to explain about his sleepwalking and asks Locke to talk to Claire for him.  Locke sidesteps this and asks straight up if Charlie is using again.  Charlie responds to this with anger and says that he and Mr. Eko burned the entire stash along with the prop plane.  Locke advises giving Claire more time and space since it takes that to win back trust.

  Charlie then flashes back to Driveshaft's lowpoint.  Standing in a crib wearing diapers and singing a bastardized version of 'You All Everybody' in a diaper commercial.  At least they're trying to, anyway.  Liam is high again and keeps screwing things up.  The director has no choice but to fire the band and advises Charlie to ditch his brother. 

  [NOTE: I know they call it "the hatch" on the show, but that really bugs me since the hatch is just the door.  I am going to call scenes set in "the hatch" what they really are- scenes set in Station Three of the Dharma Initiative.]  

  Meanwhile, in Station Three of the Dharma Initiative, Hurley and Libby are doing laundry.  You would think Hurley would be excited that his crush is changing in front of him and asking what he thinks of a top she found, but he is too distracted by the sudden notion that he knows her from somewhere.  Libby says it was on the plane when he stepped on her foot on the way to his seat, but I don't know how much water that holds knowing that Hurley is a former mental patient and Libby is a psychologist.

  On the edge of the jungle, Charlie finds Mr. Eko marking the trees he likes.  My dog does that, too, only he doesn't use a knife.  Charlie mentions that he might be going crazy because of his vivid dreams.  Eko asks him to consider that the dreams might be trying to tell him something- like maybe he really does need to save the baby.

  This leads Charlie frantically back to Claire's tent where Kate pushes him away.  He fights through and tells Claire that Aaron must be baptized.  As Kate finally gets him to go away, the camera pans over to Locke who's got his creepy Sling Blade-esque stare going on again.

  Later, in the jungle, Charlie seeks comfort from his secret stash of Marys.  He thinks back to when he was inspired to write Driveshaft's comeback song.  Liam walks in with the news that his wife kicked him out because he dropped the baby.  Charlie tries to cheer him up by playing the new song- and it works.  But just when things are starting to look up again, Liam spoils it by asking his brother if he's "got any".

  As present day Charlie stares his temptation in the face, Locke shows up to bust him.  Locke is understandably upset about being lied to and puts the rest of the statues in his bag.  Charlie tries to appeal to Locke's love of the island's mystical qualities by saying that the island is testing him, but Locke is not buying what he's selling.  Charlie moves on to trying to make him understand that Aaron is in danger but that doesn't work either.  "You've given up the right to be believed, Charlie," Locke tells him matter-of-factly.

  Locke returns to the beach where Claire asks if she and the baby can stay in Station Three of the Dharma Inititative for a while.  Locke doesn't think this is a good idea because of the alarm and offers instead to move his stuff near hers.  She tells him what Charlie said about baptism, but Locke blows it off, saying that Charlie just feels like he has to save the baby because he can't save himself.

  That night, Charlie starts a fire at the edge of the jungle.  When Sayid and the others rush to put it out, Charlie takes a moment to stare at Claire and Aaron from the comfort of darkness.  As he's doing this, he thinks back to the biggest betrayal of his young life.  Good news: Liam has decided to clean himself up and save his family.  Bad news: he sold Charlie's piano in order to afford tickets to Australia, where all this rehabilitation is going to happen.  Oh, and he's leaving right now, leaving Charlie in the street screaming, "What about my family?"

  As everyone is still working on the fire, Charlie uses the distraction to kidnap Aaron.  Claire sees him and tries to stop it, which gets Locke's attention.  Now attracting a crowd at the shore, Charlie looks to Eko for support of the baptism theory.  Mr. Eko looks disgusted and says that this is not the way.  When Locke asks for the baby back, Charlie screams at him that Locke is not Aaron's father or his family.  "Neither are you, Charlie," Locke reminds him.  Defeated, Charlie hands the baby back and Locke punches him three times, knocking him in the water.  Everyone walks away, disgusted and bewildered by Charlie's actions.

  The next day, as Jack tends to his wounds, Charlie admits that he started the fire, which Jack kind of knew already.  Charlie knows it doesn't matter now, but for the record he never went back to using. 

  Elsewhere, Claire finds Mr. Eko and asks him about baptism.  To keep them from being seperated in the afterlife, Eko agrees to baptize them both. 

  Meanwhile, in Station Three of the Dharma Initiative, Locke changes the lock on the gun room and puts Charlie's statues in there for safe keeping.

  That night, Charlie sits on the edge of the society that Jack built, but it is unclear if this is self-banishment or has been imposed upon him.  He puts his hood up and stares into the distance.

  Next time: Sun gets abducted, Jack demands the guns from Locke and Sayid picks up a radio signal.