My land of the dead

  My dreams have been extra vivid lately and two nights in a row now I've dreamt about the thing I dream about the most-

ZOMBIES!

  I can't remember the first one anymore, but last night was a really good one.  I kind of wish I didn't wake up.  Yes, I dream about zombies so much that they are not even nightmares anymore.  I'm going to break it into scenes since that's how it played out.  It progressed like a movie, only big chunks of it were missing.

  1. I for some unknown reason was in charge of getting my cousin's daughter to nursery school and picking her up.  I got her there on time but I was really stressed out about not being able to remember how to get back to the school once I left.  So I went to my aunt's house to try to get some information.

  2.  I end up in a big house that's not my aunt's but I'm with my aunt and all my extended family and we are trying like crazy to get all the curtains and drapes over the windows so that the zombies can't see that there are people inside.  I went in the kitchen and found my cousin Susie outside in the yard trying to teach a little 2-year-old how to count.  I called her in and for some reason she didn't bring the kid.  This was bad and we both watched from the window as a bigger zombie kid bit the hell out of the baby!  Yeah, that was the worst part of the dream.

3.  I am in a tiny, tiny room serving as a police station and a cop is asking me if I know how to use a gun.  I am adament that I don't and we will be fine if we just stay away from the windows.

4.  I am cruising through a giant empty parking lot at a supermarket and everyone is walking around slowly, only they're normal.  I'm like, "Where the hell did all the zombies go?"  Then I get out of the car just as some old lady screams, "That guy's turning!!!"  Some big bearded dude in a flannel shirt is grabbing his head and sreaming and then all the normal people start flipping out and running for their lives.  I run into the supermarket and the flannel zombie follows me.  I know that zombies die if you kill their brain so I grab a bat and try to beat his brains in.  Only the bat is made of rubber, so I'm doing no damage at all except to move him back toward the front door of the supermarket.  Then I grab a broken-off windshield wiper and try to stab him with it.  I can't quite puncture his head though until I realize that it would be a lot easier to get him in the eye so I jam it in there.  But he's still not dead and I'm pushing as hard as I can until the zombie takes a gun out of his pocket and says, "Jesus Christ, I'll just kill myself already!"  So he blows his brains out and I get splashed on the arm with his blood.  It starts making all kinds of lines on my arm and forming a pattern and I start freaking out that I might be infected.  The pharmacist calls me over and says, "No, look closer."  I do and the lines have turned into a medical diagram of someone's lungs with arrows pointing into them like on a Sudafed commercial or something.  The pharmacist seemed pretty pleased that this was going to tell us how to save ourselves from zombies but I woke up before I could find out how.

 

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A Window to the Tongue

 

"Hey guys, where did the FIRST parents come from?" - Kasey Burke

The Best of 2005

10. Your Little Hoodrat Friend- The Hold Steady-     THE HOLD STEADY.     2005.         

9. Sunnyroad- Emiliana Torrini- Emiliana Torrini

8. Evil- Interpol- INTERPOL :: news

7. You Are a Runner and I Am My Father's Son- Wolf Parade- Wolf Parade // Apologies to the Queen Mary

6. Parting Gift- Fiona Apple- FIONA APPLE

5. Feel Good Inc.- Gorillaz- WWW.GORILLAZ.COM

4. Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo- The Bloodhound Gang-

www.bloodhoundgang.com

3. The Bucket- Kings of Leon- Kings Of Leon - The Official Website

2. Soul Meets Body- Death Cab for Cutie- :: Death Cab For Cutie ::

My very favorite song of 2005 is:

1. Banquet- Bloc Party- BLOC PARTY: HOME

I decided to get my count-down out of the way altogether because I got so bored of it.  I don't know why that happened.

Anyway, Christmas was fun.  Got a lot of good stuff.  Got a lot of the things I asked for.  I really can't complain and maybe shouldn't complain, but no one thought enough of me to get the #1 thing that I asked for. 

Anyone who reads this journal can probably figure out what it is that I didn't get.

 

 

 

 

 

The Run-around

Dec. 9- Obtain LOA paperwork from job.  Told to have it filled out by the doctor who will treat me for the carpal tunnel syndrome.

Dec. 16- Finally found out what doctor will perform the procedure and drop paperwork off there.

Dec. 21- Receive phone call saying they can't do it.  It has to be signed by my primary doctor.  Take paperwork to primary doctor and am told that they can't sign it because they are not the ones who diagnosed me.  Take paperwork to doctor who diagnosed me (thankfully in the same building), but the office is closed until Friday.

Dec. 23- Take paperwork to doctor who diagnosed me and am told that they can't sign it because they only diagnosed me, they are not my healthcare provider.  Take paperwork upstairs to primary who repeat that they cannot sign it because they did not diagnose me.  Take paperwork back downstairs where Dr. Kim, the diagnosis doctor shrugs and says he will just sign it.  Then when he reads it and sees that the signature line says "provider" he changes his mind again and says his signature would be no good.  Go back upstairs one more time and am told that my doctor will look at the paperwork but he has patients and they will leave it on his desk.  I explain as calmly as I can that my two weeks are up today and I need to get the paper back to work today.  The secretary says she will mark it urgent, but no guarantees.  I return home with a knot in my stomach.  Two hours later I get a call that the paperwork is done and I can come pick it up.  I return there to pick it up and they can't find it.  Ten minutes later, I finally have the paperwork completely filled out and head off to work to hand it in.  Now the only thing left is for Wal-mart to "approve" my LOA.  Whatever that means.

--------------------

Best of 2005 #9- Sunnyroad- Emiliana Torrini

-------------------

  I went to see King Kong last night with my mom.  I was going to try and review it, but my jaw still hasn't closed.  I'll do my best.

  It is absolutely awesome- best movie I have seen in a while.  The exposition of the characters for the first hour is almost enough to sustain a comedy in itself in the style of State and Main or Bowfinger.  Then when they get to Skull Island, the whole thing just kicks into another gear that is certainly not for the faint of heart.  The dinosaur stampede was one of the most exciting and wonderful scenes I have ever had the joy of seeing.  The famous fight between Kong and the T-Rex goes on for about twenty minutes and it doesn't even drag.  Just when you think the action on Skull Island can't possibly go on any longer, everything just keeps coming and coming.

  Naomi Watts does an excellent job in a somewhat difficult role requiring her to essentially fall in love with her captor.  The "love triangle" between Watts, Kong and Adrien Brody adds a much more interesting dynamic to the story.  Kong's death goes from a damsel in distress being rescued like in the earlier films to being a full-fledged romantic tragedy.

  Jack Black was just okay in his role as the greedy filmmaker.  I actually thought he wasn't quite sleazy enough.  A lot more could have been done with the role- though I don't blame Black for that.  Some of the subplots could have been cut without hurting the film, but as I said before, it doesn't drag and it is actually a really quick 3 hours.

All in all, King Kong gets 4 stars from me.   ****

With no television, I really have nothing to say.  That's so sad!

I will try to think of something good for tomorrow.

 

12. Tear You Apart- She Wants Revenge

11. Dance Music- The Mountain Goats

10. Your Little Hoodrat Friend- The Hold Steady

The curse has been lifted!

  Ok, the brace is off for now because it gets irritating and I wanted to be able to type.  #13 on my countdown is The Comeback by Shout Out Louds.  I'm going to try to go back to putting effort into it when I get to the top ten, but no promises.  I think next year, I'll just wait 'til the end of the year, as I have a lot more fun making the list than I do revealing it.

  How was my weekend?  Glad you asked.  On Saturday, I took my chances and agreed to go to the Giants vs. Chiefs.  I even went the entire day without mentioning how much of a jinx I am.  Since the game was on Saturday instead of Sunday, it was a lot rowdier than normal because the people who didn't have to get up the next day allowed the wine and spirits to flow more easily.  I told myself I shouldn't clap that much because it hurt like hell afterwards and hitting my hand against something makes my finger tingle so clapping makes it a double, but somehow you forget all that when Tiki Barber is running 41 yards to the endzone.  By the end of the night, Tiki had broken or tied 5 Giants rushing records and the whole place was breaking into chants of TIKI! TIKI!, Ti-ki Bar-ber!  Ti-ki Bar-ber!, or MVP! MVP! 

   You could feel the platonic love fans have for a football player and it felt pretty good.  I had forgotten what it was like to be part of a crowd that just won, since I hadn't experienced it in this century.  But now I remember.  Mr. Jinx is no more.  I still would like a double 0 jersey that says Mr. Jinx on the back.  That would be cool.

  On the way home, my dad and I stopped at McDonald's and the cleaning lady was being really sympathetic toward me and trying to talk to me, because I had my brace back on and must have looked really pathetic trying to eat my French fries.  The problem was that she didn't speak the English, so we had to try to figure out what she was saying.  Dad figured it out that she was saying she also has carpal tunnel syndrome.  She seemed to take a perverse pride in showing me how she could dislocate her thumb.  Whatever her problem was, it hurt mucho.  This is when I realized that a carpal tunnel brace is a chick magnet and if I wanted to, I could have any ancient, ailing, Spanish-speaking McDonald's employee I wanted.

  The next day at the mall, a guy peddling cell phones told me to get well soon.  A carpal tunnel brace is also a dude magnet.

-----------------------

   I read a bit of a disturbing story yesterday about masculine pride gone wild.  I know, unheard of, right?  It seems the father of Washington Redskins player Shawn Springs needs a kidney.  But dad won't let Shawn even test to see if he is a match.  Why?  Because Shawn said he would give up his football career to save his dad's life.  NFL players are required to have two working kidneys, you see, so if he gave one to his dad, he would be forced to retire.  So, in essence, Mr. Springs would rather DIE than have his son not be a professional football player.  Is there a special place in heaven for the severely deluded?  Let's hope so.

----------------

  Finally, my shipment of books was last seen in East Syracuse according to UPS, so I am expecting them today.  If you would like to buy one directly from me, drop me an e-mail.  Once Jan 22 rolls around, they will go very fast.  I anticipate having none left once the autograph signing is over.

The first batch of strangers is done reading it and I am breathing a huge sigh of relief.  I have received glowing reviews!  It's one thing for people that know you to say your book is good.  While one appreciates that, one always has in the back of one's mind that these people KNOW you, so how objective can they be?  I admit I was a little nervous when the book went on sale as a real book to real people that don't know me from anywhere except as the guy who makes hilarious and/or insightful comments on a LOST message board.  I am happy to say that the next hurdle in my literary career has been cleared.  Every stranger that has read my book has liked it, possibly even loved it.  At this time, I would like to share an e-mail I got from one such "stranger".

    Hey Capt. I just have to tell you that I really, really enjoyed your book. I was surprised.  I stopped reading those types of thrillers because it was the same old crap, too much information that had little to do with the plot and didn't grab my attention. One of the things I love about reading is getting the visual images in my head and actually being able to see the characters and the setting in my head. I could completely picture your characters, the cabins, the whole set up. Its been a long time since a book has captured my imagination in that sort of way. Granted, I haven't done much reading for pleasure the past year (went back to school, oh dear lord I feel a Billy Maddison song coming on) but the few books I have tried to read I never finished because it simply did nothing for me.

  ...how you were able to portray Melissa's fear and dreams was dead on accurate... All the characters were very real. Davis totally creeped me out. Arn was such a son of a bitch and I kind of wished his wife had kicked his ass in the end but that's a different story. Any way it was a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The one-handed typist.

Minds out of the gutter.  I am a one-handed typist because of the ridiculously long brace I just bought at wal-mart that i have on my left hand.  i got the call today from the bone doctor and they scheduled my first visit for march 15.  i was like 'oh man!  even i didnt want to miss that much work'.  then the 1st doc i went to called and said that they called the guy back and got me moved up to Jan 24.  that's better, but still a long time gone and a long time to be in pain.  so i bought this brace for my 'severely injured left wrist.  it's so big, i cant wear my watch and it even came with a pillow to rest my head on.  i swear.  i look completely silly and there's no way i'll be able to clap at the football game tomorrow. 

i'm not in the mood to do any research and this brace keeps hitting buttons i dont want it to when i forget and try to type with both hands, so i will just tell you that:

#16 is Side 2 by Dressy Bessy

#15 is Forever For Her (Is Over For Me) by The White Stripes

and #14 is Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley

...ok, i'm off to bed with my wrist brace pillow.

Good news all around

  In the last five minutes I have read not one, but TWO articles that have raised my spirits.

1.  FMQB: Radio Industry News, Music Industry Updates, Arbitron Ratings, Music News and more!

This basically says that that legislation I complained about last week is being put on the back burner.  You mean politicians might have other things to worry about than censorship?  No way!  Next thing you know, they'll want to tell college football they have to have playoffs.  What's that you say?

  Anyway, Ted Stevens (R) of Arkansas is my new hero- for now.

2.  #a0007926019

  This next one is the Entertainment Weekly PopWatch blog- saying that, brace yourself, ABC and Showtime are both 100% completely serious about picking up Arrested Development if FOX foolishly dumps it.  Even if this is a long shot, just the fact that they said it may force FOX to change their minds about canceling it.  No network wants to have egg on its face, after all.  How do you think NBC feels about letting JAG go and then watching CBS turn it into a multi-season hit?

Leave my uncensored cable and radio alone and give me my AD and I'll be happy.  That can be my Christmas present, Jesus.

If Ernest can save Christmas, anyone can.

  My 17th favorite song of 2005 is Love in a Trashcan by The Raveonettes.  The poor Raveonettes have had a tough few months.  First, they had all their equipment stolen in Brooklyn and just a couple of weeks ago, they were dropped by their label.  :(  Hopefully, they will be able to bounce back and make more cute little songs like Trashcan.

THE RAVEONETTES   <-----website

THE RAVEONETTES  <----- video

---------------------------------------

 - My hands are getting worse.  I got jolts of pain three times in one trip to the bathroom and I can barely hold my toothbrush.  I hope the surgeon calls today to tell me when I am getting in there to have this done.  If it takes another week or so and he only does one hand at a time, I might be out of work longer than I thought.  The Super Bowl would be just fine with me.

- Congratulations are in order.  Once again, I correctly predicted who would win The Amazing Race based on their first episode introductions.  I think that's maybe the second time that's happened.

- The holidays are the wrong time to start a diet but I have to.  The doctor told me to.  Plus, I won't be getting nearly as much exercise being out of work.

- I haven't sold a book the whole month of December.  Still only have five sold.  Not even enough to receive a royalty check.  :(  I should soon be getting my shipment of books to sell myself.  My first book signing will be at my aunt's house in Union City, NJ on Jan. 22.  E-mail me for directions. 

The VCH Television Awards

  #18 on the Countdown is I Predict A Riot by The Kaiser Chiefs.  Their website is here: Kaiser Chiefs

But that's not what I want to talk about today.  I was reading zap2it yesterday and the TV Gal put up her best TV shows of the year.  Since television is another thing I talk about a lot here, I decided I should expand my awards to include television too.

Zap2it - TV tv gal - TV Gal Awards Best in Show

Here's my list:

1. Arrested Development (FOX)- Not just the funniest show on television right now.  The funniest show ever.  Period.  This is the most clever, well-written show and the acting and casting are so perfect that you can sometimes forget that they are actors.  What other show can make a running gag out of one word?  ("Her?")  What other show can reference things that happened in previous episodes so seamlessly without worrying about whether the audience gets it or not?  This show doesn't break the rules- it shatters them.

2. The Office (NBC)- I've said it before.  The Office is Scottie Pippen to AD's MJ.  With AD going off the air soon, more than likely forever, The Office is poised to take over the spot as television's best comedy.  What I love about this show is that it is not just clever, absurd and downright hilarious, but it also takes the time to humanize these ridiculous people.  Michael Scott may be the world's worst, unfunniest boss, but deep down he is just a lonely man who wants nothing more than to have friends and be one of the boys.  He just happens to be a clueless, offensive idiot that has no ability to control his impulses.  He is genuinely hurt that his boss wanted nothing more out of their one night stand or when he wasn't invited to Jim's party.  I expected to laugh out loud repeatedly when I got hooked to this show, but I never expected to almost be brought to tears by the humanity underneath.

3. LOST (ABC)-   I think it is safe to say that this is the best drama on television right now.  It is so complex that you can't even begin to describe it to anyone.  All you can say is, "watch the first season DVD."  What's more is the sense of community it has instilled more than any other show I've ever watched.  The spirited debates over every little nuance of the show can be found on dozens of message boards.  I have made a lot of friends on AOL's board thanks to a mutual love of LOST.

4. My Name Is Earl (NBC)- I've been a Jason Lee fan since Mallrats, and he drew me to this show, but the supporting cast of this show is equal to if not better than Lee's Earl.  You would think that a show about a guy trying to right the wrongs he's done would be a cheesy Touched by an Angel kind of show, but it is so much better than that.  Never has a show managed to be so funny while still maintaining a sweetness and an uplifting message that the whole family can enjoy.

5. Project Greenlight (Bravo)- I usually only watch competitive reality shows.  To watch a camera following someone around is not my idea of a good show unless the subject is really interesting.  And what could be more interesting than making a movie?  The first season of this show on Bravo contained some of the most entertaining moments of the past year.  I hope John Gulager's Feast does well when it comes out so that Bravo will consider taking us for another ride on the moviemaking roller coaster.

6. Survivor (CBS)-  After five years, this is still one of the biggest water cooler shows around.  Every season is pretty much the same, even when they try to twist things up, but every season I get sucked in.  The debates you could start on the rights and wrongs, pros and cons of every player is almost endless.

7. Grey's Anatomy (ABC)- Slowly and quietly, Grey has become one of the most captivating shows on television.  It's broad range of drama and comedy have vaulted this show past the much more hyped Desperate Housewives in terms of quality.  The difference is in the characters.  I can name at least five characters I like on Grey and not one on DH.

8. Pardon the Interruption (ESPN)- This show revolutionized sports shows and in a way, all of television.  How many shows do you watch on other cable networks where they have a little sidebar that tells you what topics are coming up?  I've seen at least two, not to mention the Olympics.  That idea was PTI's.  But what really makes the show great is the interaction between Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon.  Their good-natured arguing is as entertaining as the sports they talk about.  It's like Siskel and Ebert for the sports world and I can't believe someone didn't think of that sooner.

9. Prison Break (FOX)- I don't care about all the plot holes and all the other kinds of craziness that could never happen in real life.  It's called suspension of disbelief and this show works as a straight-up wild-ride television show.  It twists and turns at every corner, makes bad guys into good guys, good guys into bad guys and still more bad guys into even badder guys.  This show is just a lot of fun to watch.

10.  Reunion (FOX)-  Was hooked when I read what the premise was.  A murder mystery told over the course of twenty years.  Done right, how could that miss?  Well apparently it did, because it's order has been reduced.  Still, I like this show a lot and enoy the twists and turns.  For every obvious one you can see a mile away, there is at least one you had no idea was coming.  I hope this show is given a proper chance to tie everything together before it gets the hook.

Music Catch-up and a charitable pervert

  Okay, first, a lot of catching up to do- again!  #21 on the countdown is My Doorbell by The White Stripes.  You can watch the video here: Music Archive Videos: 1 of 4: The White Stripes :Get Behind Me Satan :'My Doorbell'

  I remember the first time I heard this.  I said to myself, this sounds pretty silly and stupid, but I think I will end up liking it in the future.  And it was true-  it is addictively catchy, even if the lyrics are slightly retarded.  I do not agree with some DJ's assessments that this song is about sex.  With the children in the video and the fact that it debuted on Nickelodeon, I think it's just supposed to be a cute little song with no real meaning.

Artist: The White Stripes

Members: Jack & Meg White

Hometown: Detroit, MI

Album: Get Behind Me Satan

------

#20 is Nth Degree by Morningwood.  At my old job, on Sunday morning we used to listen to the Fox music countdown or whatever it was called and every week, the host would play a new song and let his 13 year old female listeners decide if the song was good or not.  I used to give myself a laugh every week by correctly predicting that the girls would say the song had a good beat.  Now in trying to explain why I like some of these songs, I find that sometimes that's all there is to say.  Maybe I'm no more articulate than a thirteen-year-old girl, but Nth Degree has a good beat!  Oh, and I also like when they yell Harder!  That's good stuff right there.  You can hear the song at the band's myspace page: www.myspace.com/morningwood

Band: Morningwood

Members: Chantel Claret, Richard Steel, Pedro Yanowitz, Japa Keenon O.

Hometown: NYC

-----------

#19 is Forget Myself by Elbow.  This was one of those cases where I hated a song- I mean I would turn it off instantly- until the one day I just gave a chance and I ended up liking it a lot.  This usually happens when I hear a lyric I like or something like that.  This song might have been even higher if I redid the list right now.  Their website is here: elbow  The best part of the site is that they published their lyrics.  More bands should do that.  The video is here:

Elbow :Leaders of the Free World :'Forget Myself'

--------------------------

  How was my weekend, you ask?  Pretty good, other than the constant numb pain of my damaged nerves.  I can barely use my left hand- I can't hold anything for very long- it's terrible.  But I don't have to go to work, so that makes everything okay.  On Saturday at the mall there were the Salvation Army guys making their usual collections.  The guy was holding a sign that said DONG.  I thought, 'That's kind of lewd'.  Then I saw that he had a partner I hadn't seen initially whose sign said DING.  That made a little more sense.  Quite a relief actually. 

I have to wait 14 days to get an STD

  This morning I went to Dr. Kim's office to see if I have carpal tunnel syndrome.  Or as I am going to call him, the sadistic Dr. Kim.  First I thought he was funny in a stereotypical, coldly efficient Asian way.  His secratary was out so he answered the phone, "Hello...She not here today." *Click*  Then he brought me to the back where the fun really began.

  I laid down and he hooked my right arm up to a machine.  Then he said, "May feel slight discomfort."  I think we all know that in doctor-speak, that means "you are going to pray for death."  "Okay, here we go."  ZZZZZZZZT!!!  My arm gets a shot of electricity and goes involuntarily flying toward the ceiling.  "Here we go.  Here we go.  Here we go."  Over and over and over til I was sweating.  Then the stabbing began.  "I use needle now.  Don't move."  I was punctured repeatedly by what I think was a miniature camera because he kept staring at a screen that sounded like a sonogram.  And he wasn't gentle about it.  That flippin' hurt a lot. 

  Speaking of flippin', then it was time to flip around to test the left arm.  By this time he figured I was an old pro at getting electrodes shot into me because the 'Here we go' warnings stopped.  If this had been a cartoon, I'm sure you would have been able to see my skeleton. Zap Zap Zap Zap Zap.  Soon it was time for the stabbing again.  One time he got me so good, that I said, "Ow, that was a good one."  He laughed and said, "No mercy."  Damn your hard-nosed Asian culture, Dr. Kim.  We American men are babies!  I am starting to think that he may have done some damage with that "good one" because it still hurts right this minute and I haven't been able to use my left thumb all day.

  Then came the diagnosis.  Carpal tunnel syndrome, just as I self-diagnosed a couple of months ago.  I had to stifle some laughter when he demonstrated what the syndrome was using his hands.  He made a circle with his thumb and forefinger and then stuck his other forefinger into the hole.  To him, this represented the nerves getting pinched, but to the rest of the world it represents "getting it on".

  Anyway, I have to have surgery on both hands sometime next week and (boo hoo) I am missing some work.  He told me there is no magic pill to make nerves betterand they won't get better on their own, so I have to get the surgery.  I guess all that literature I read about surgery being a last resort was wrong.  And if you think he was getting dollar signs in his eyes, he wasn't, because he isn't even the guy who does the surgery.  I have to go to doctor #3- a hand specialist.  I'm glad actually- I don't exactly want a doctor whose motto is "No Mercy" to be performing surgery on me!  The weird part was that he said I have had this for a year or more, which is weird since I have only been getting symptoms for a few months.

In reference to the title of this entry- Wal-mart, honest to God, abbreviates Short Term Disability as STD, but I can't even qualify for it until I miss 14 work days.  Kind of unfair to those of us who only work a three day schedule.  So instead I took a Leave of Absence and have to burn out my sick time if I want to get paid.  I have about 100 hours so I should be good.  It's outpatient surgery so I shouldn't be on the shelf for very long.

-----------------

#22 on my Best of 2005 list is In the Morning by The Coral.

Their website is here: .:THE CORAL:.

Sorry I can't find any samples of the song, but if you have Realplayer Rhapsody, you can hear it on that.

------------

  I wanted to do something a little different and present my own music awards, since the Grammys are so disrespected and irrelevant.  To build them back up, we need to have awards that are even more disrespected and irrelavant.  With that in mind, I present the 2005 VCH Music Awards.

 

Breakout Band of the Year

 Death Cab for Cutie

Runners-up: Fall Out Boy, Bloc Party

DCFC signed with a major label this year while maintaining their artistic integrity and indie roots and oh yeah, they also put out an album that's pretty much better than anything they've ever done.  Fall Out Boy came out of nowhere with their hit "Sugar, We're Going Down" and became huge on both the rock and pop charts.  Bloc Party put out three solid hits this year, but for the moment, their best years are still ahead of them.

 

Best New Band

  The Kaiser Chiefs

  Runners-up: She Wants Revenge, Tegan & Sara

  The Kaiser Chiefs are another one that just blew onto the scene this year.  Yes, they are yet another retro-style band, but they still manage to make themselves a unique sound.  The four songs they released this year were all catchy and excellent.  She Wants Revenge definitely gets a mention here, but I wanted to save them for another category.  Tegan & Sara are a cute pop type band, but I don't know if they have the staying power that would keep me from looking back on these awards in the future and laughing at my choice.

The Keep on Rockin' Award (for the band that just kept on staying great) 

  Franz Ferdinand

Runners-up: Gorillaz, The White Stripes

  Who would have thought that Franz Ferdinand, who had a mega-hit with Take Me Out last year, would be able to keep churning out catchy tune after catchy tune?  I would not have been surprised if they had been a one hit wonder, but instead they released a second album that is nearly as good as their first.  They now have solid proof that they are toe-tapping specialists with their current hits Do You Want To? and The Fallen.  As for the Gorillaz, their new album is arguably better than their first and who even knew that an animated band would be able to pull off a follow-up.  And now I hear they are going to start touring?  That will be amazing if they pull that one off.  I was resistant to the White Stripes new style at first and thought Get Behind Me, Satan was going to bomb, but as usual, the Stripes grow on you with their pianos and drums and cute lyrics.

  The 'Welcome Back, Where Ya Been' Award

  Fiona Apple

Runners-up: Kate Bush, Depeche Mode

  I don't think anyone overcame more to get her album released the way she wanted it to be heard than Fiona Apple.  And Extraordinary Machine was well worth the hassle.  Fiona overcame being bullied by a record label, artistic disputes with her collaborators and her own procrastination to release one of the most beautiful collection of songs ever.  Kate Bush- what can you say?  If music actually had a comeback player of the year award, she would have to take it since it was 12 years between albums.  As for Depeche Mode, I assumed they were dead- now all of a sudden they're back on the radio- with a new song to boot.

 

Biggest Buzz

She Wants Revenge

Runners-up: The Magic Numbers, Antony and the Johnsons

Practically no explanation needed for this one.  I have never been so personally involved in a band receiving buzz than I was when I kept getting messages from people who had heard SWR on Sirius 26: Left of Center and wanted to know if I had a copy of the song- Tear You Apart.  I didn't, because this album wasn't available for most of the year, even though LOC had been playing them for a while.  That's how you build buzz- demand blowing supply out of the water.  The Magic Numbers are apparently HUGE in England so I ended up hoping LOC would play them before I even knew what they sounded like.  I was not disappointed.  Antony and the Johnsons, you either love it or you hate it.  Either way, it gets you talking.

The Wait a Second....This Sucks! Award

  The Darkness

  Runners-up: The Strokes, The Dandy Warhols

  Here's a sure-fire way to be able to tell you are heading toward being a one-hit wonder- When your new stuff sucks so bad that the radio stations stop playing it and go back to playing your old song which hasn't been dusted off in years.  It happened to the Spin Doctors and now it's happening to The Darkness.  On the radio today I heard I Believe In a Thing Called Love.  I did not hear, One Way Ticket to Hell and Back.  That song sucks and as an English major, I can't bring myself to even give it a chance.  The Darkness is destined to become part of the Jukebox from Hell radio gimmick in 25 years.   "J5- I Believe in a Thing Called Love"   "AHHHHHHHHH!"  

The Strokes- good move making your new song sound nothing like any other song you've done.  Stick with what works.  The Dandy Warhols- it seemed to me like no two songs sounded the same and it worked for them.  The new ones, which do all sound the same, don't do anything for me. 

The Please Just Go Away Award

  Coldplay

Runners-up: Audioslave, Foo Fighters.

  I have nothing much to say about any of these bands because it's been so long since I've liked anything they've done.  Please just, well, go away.

 

 

That's it on my end.  What are some of your favorites this year?

When you tie one shoe, the other one feels looser.

  I should have added yesterday that I was almost totally unprepared for a complete physical.  If I had known it was coming, I would have cleaned my ears and I certainly wouldn't have worn Scooby Doo boxers.  Anyway, they called this morning and said that they made the appointment with the specialist for me.  Amazing.  How did they know that I hate making phone calls and put it off like crazy?

#23 on my Best of 2005 is Worlds Apart by ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead. 

Website here: ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead // News

This is like the song that says what no one wants to hear.  Basically, the world hates us because we're spoiled.  I am going to post the lyrics.  Please read no further if easily offended.

 

Worlds Apart

Random lost souls have asked me
"What’s the future of rock ’n’ roll?"
I say "I don’t know, does it matter?"
This and that scene,
They sound all the same to me
Neither much worse nor much better.

We’re so fucked these days
We don’t know who to hate or who to praise
Consider that suffering & pain
When we’re so privileged, a fact
We forget about as
We go whinging all over the place.

How they laugh as we shovel the ashes
Wrath has soured
Blood and death, we will pay back the debt
Of this candy store of ours.

Look at those cunts on MTV
With cars, and cribs, and rings and shit
Is that what being a celebrity means?
Look, boys and girls, at BBC
See corpses, rapes and amputees
What do you think now of the American dream?

And our soccer moms and dads
Who raised us brats on those TV ads
I know that they sleep at night
Their conscience is intact
They’ve convinced themselves of that
Giving money to Jesus Fucking H Christ

How they laugh as we shovel the ashes
Of the Twin Towers
Blood and death, we will pay back the debt
Of this candy store of ours
Of this candy store of ours
Of this candy store of ours

Real waiting rooms don't have Natalie Portman in them

  Well, I went to the doctor today.  And it was a Christmas miracle that I made it there too.  First, I didn't know what time it was or the doctor's name and the online login to find that kind of stuff out was incorrect.  Then they called two hours before it was scheduled for as a reminder.  I said, Thank goodness you did that.

  Then at the designated time, I went to the medical facility where the doctor's office was located.  Armed with only the time of the appointment and what I thought the doctor's name sounded like.  I was staring at the directory looking for something close to what I thought his name was when a nice old lady came over and asked me if she could help.  So she took me back to the help desk and with just my name and birthday entered into her computer, she could tell me where I had to go.  Pretty cool.

  I was there for my hand problem but they accidentally gave me a complete physical.  I didn't say anything since I figured I was due for one.  Everything went fine and I am almost completely healthy.  Though he wouldn't take my word for it that I didn't have a hernia.  He almost forgot that part and I would have let him.  Anyway, he said I described the symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome, which I kind of figured and he referred me to some other dude so I have to make an appointment with him.

  For the curious, my doctor's name is Chakraborty, but on the phone it sounded like Checkerboard.

QUOTE-FEST 05

Arrested Development

GOB: You want me to be your best man?

Michael: It's just a signature I need on the license.  My son isn't old enough.  It's no big deal.

GOB: I am not going to take this sacred duty lightly.  I am going to get you the healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.

Michael: That's why I'm calling it a witness and not a best man.  All you gotta do is watch.

GOB: Oh, I'm not going to spend this kind of money and not watch.

---

Michael: When did you realize that you and Tobias had no chance at a physical relationship?

Lindsay: Oh my God!  You think we have no chance at a physical relationship?

Michael: So just now.

---

Narrator: GOB began to prepare a magic trick for Michael's wedding.

GOB: So the KING (pulls out a king card) takes his QUEEN (pulls out a queen card) and showers her with DIAMONDS! (pulls out a club card)  ...Clubs...Club sauce.  He covers her with club sauce.  All right, that'll be my line if that happens.

My Name Is Earl

Earl: What the hell is going on?  Why are your parents still calling me son?

Joy: They think we're still married.

Earl: What???

Joy: Shhhh!  You know how traditional my parents are.  If they found out I got divorced and married a black man, they'd crap in a sock.  They think of me as their little angel.  Now come on, help me slosh around on the water bed and make it sound like we're doin' it.

---

Randy: Catalina, winning this car for Joy is my Christmas present to Earl.  This is for a family.  At Christmas.  You know, Feliz Naviblah.

Catalina: That means nothing.

Randy: To you maybe, but in American that means Christmas in Mexican.

The Office

(Kevin is hacking the top of the too tall Christmas tree off.)

Michael: Did it work?

Kevin: Well, sort of.  Why did you get it so big?

Michael: A) That's what she said and B) I wanted it to be impressive.  Biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year. 

Kevin: But what are we going to do with this hacked off part?

Michael: Well, that is a perfectly good mini tree, Kevin, and we are going to sell that to charity.  That's what Christmas is all about.

---

Kevin: I got myself for Secret Santa.  I was supposed to tell somebody...but I didn't.  (smiles)

---

Michael: Reverse psychology is an awesome tool.  I don't know if you guys know about it but basically, you make someone think the opposite of what you believe and that tricks them into doing something stupid.  Works like a charm.

MUSIC

#24 on my countdown is Oh My God by The Kaiser Chiefs.  I'm going to hold off on information about them because they are coming up again in a few days and this entry is long enough.

Kaiser Chiefs :Employment :'Oh My God'

Kaiser Chiefs

The Northway in Upstate NY has no Exit 3

  I read the other day that TPTB are looking into expanding decency laws to include cable TV and satellite radio.  This is just unbelievable.  I already have to pay extra money to see movies the way they were filmed and listen to music the way it was recorded and now someone wants to tell me that I can't even do that?  Wasn't one of the things this country was founded on freedom of speech?  I don't listen to songs that have curses in them or the uncensored comedy channel when my daughter is in the car with me nor do I let her watch movies unless I know what's in them.  Is that too simple?  To actually monitor what your kids are doing?  Now I may have to watch a movie where a sex scene has been cut out or listen to a song with a beep in it because the government feels the need to regulate everything. 

  They say officially it's because non-regulated media have an unfair advantage in the competition with broadcast television or terrestrial radio.  They may say that, but I know what the trouble really is and I don't even listen to the man.  Howard Stern is going someplace where they can't get to him.  You know there's some uptight dudes somewhere freaking out over an uncensored Stern.  And they are going to do whatever they can to get to him in order to continue their personal vendetta, even if it means taking away another form of freedom from us regular guys who just might want to hear a song with the word shit in it and not think anything of it.

(How ridiculous is censorship?  A few weeks ago, I heard a DJ on 102.7, a terrestrial indie station out of Vermont, say that he couldn't play the Bloodhound Gang song "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" because it was potentially indecent.  This is a song with no curse words in it, that is filled with nothing more than nonsensical innuendo and it was not allowed to be played on the air...in fact, the DJ wasn't even sure if he could say the name of the song on the air!  What impressionable young child can even figure out what the police alphabet is and realize that the song "has" a "bad word" in it?

You know what I think of censorship?  Censorship Bravo Lima Oscar Whiskey Sierra.  Did that make sense to you?)

Anyway...

  #25 on my Best of 2005 list is Four Kicks by The Kings of Leon.  I'm not going to link to anything since I know that the video is severely edited.  You can read the archives to see what I thought of that.  Totally a coincidence that this song came up the same day I had a little rant.  To sum up, I felt it was totally ridiculous to edit the violent words (blood, etc.) yet still show all the violent images on the screen.  Anyway, this is a great little two minute song about southern dudes kicking some pretty city boy's ass because "there ain't shit else to do".  Oops, I said a bad word again!

---------------------------------------------------

And now the completely offensive lyrics to Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo by The Bloodhound Gang.  Please do not read if you are in the least bit offended by any word in the English language.  If you read this and your eyes begin to bleed, consult your nearest FCC representative immediately.

 

Vulcanize the whoopie stick in the ham wallet

Cattleprod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket

Batterdip the cranny axe in the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch (ooh la la) with the boink swatter

Chorus: If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then in lieu of the innuendo in the end you know my intent though

I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically

I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

 

Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten

Powerdrill the yippee bog with the dude piston

Pressurewash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove (ooh la la) with the pork steeple

(Chorus)

Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where

Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where- pronto!

 

 

Patton Oswalt is so funny, I almost crashed my car.

  Long, tiring week at work.  There were three new guys so not only does that slow us down, but it takes away three of the best people so they can train them.  When I'm coming in third on production with a 109%, you know things are going slowly.  Most of the guys that have done it a while can get in the 120's or 130's.  Anyway, I am now three whole days behind on my Best of 2005 countdown.

# 28 is Chocolate by Snow Patrol.  Snow Patrol :Final Straw :'Chocolate'

#27 is Do You Want To by Franz Ferdinand.  This is Kasey's number 1.  She is so funny singing 'Lucky lucky, you're so lucky!'  Franz Ferdinand :You Could Have It So Much Better :'Do You Want To'

#26 is Decent Days and Nights by The Futureheads.   Their website is here: The Futureheads

Can you believe I'm half way done already?  That's how fast the Christmas season goes.

- - - - -

The song I'm listening to is my absolute favorite at the moment.  If I were to make a Top Ten, it would be #1.  If I waited until this month to make my Top 100, it would have made it.  I'm sure I will still like it next month- it will have to be the first thing I write down toward 2006.

- - - - - - - - - -

For no reason whatsoever here's some of my favorite things:

Bands: The White Stripes, Interpol, Bloc Party, The Magnetic Fields, The Shins, Death Cab for Cutie

Comedy Albums: Mitch All Together- Mitch Hedberg

 Skanks for the Memories- Dave Attell

 Doin' My Time- Jim Gaffigan

Shut Up You F'ing Baby- David Cross

Falling Off the Bone- Todd Barry

TV Shows: LOST, Arrested Development, The Office, Prison Break, My Name is Earl

 

  Finally, if an e-mail with football picks you received was sent at 1:15 and the sender went 14-1 that day, wouldn't you raise an eyebrow?  I know for a fact that by 1:15 Buffalo already had a 14-0 lead, so that should be at least one game my brother is disqualified for.  I am not happy about relinquishing the lead in the standings under such suspicious circumstances. 

I only hate my job when I'm there

Music

  #29 on my Best of 2005 collection is Jerk it Out by Caesars.  Caesars :Paper Tigers :'Jerk It Out' 

Unfortunately, I couldn't find the band's website.  My search results came up with Caesar's Palace and Little Caesar's Pizza, but no official band website.  :(

The song is off the album Paper Tigers.  Jerk it Out is #29 because it's just a fun song.  Very catchy.

-----

By the way, the good music coming out this year has been very steady.  I already have about ten songs I wish I could have included on this year's list.  Next year I may have to actually wait until the end of the year to come up with it.  I will definitely make a list of songs that had the misfortune of coming out in December.

Television

Last night's episode of Survivor was pretty good.  I like it when the next obvious person to go wins immunity and screws everything up.  I know a lot of people didn't like Judd because he was a loud, bully type, but I thought he was pretty funny and enjoyed his work.  He definitely should have lasted longer than Lydia, whose continued presence in the game is just inexcusable.

Reunion was excellent as well.  They did such a good job making the cop look different, that my wife wasn't sure it was him at first.  I also liked how they ditched the format of one of the people telling an elaborate story about the past that had little to do with the murder investigation.  We know that the events of the past will lead to the present situation- the writing became a little strained whenever they would try to make the flashbacks into a story being told.  Just show the flashbacks and remember that it doesn't all have to tie into a neat bundle with the present.  That's what they did last night and it flowed a lot more smoothly.

Here's an idea:  Don't cancel this show, please.

Quotes of the Day:

-How far do you want to make it to the final two? -a slightly confused Lydia on Survivor.

-  Did anyone tell you about the sales we're having today?  Ten dollars off all sweatshirts, selected pants and jackets and I'm sure you don't care about the women's underwear.   -Monick, the sales girl at the mall.

-  Hey, maybe I do. -Me

LOST- Episode 33: What Kate Did

  It's morning on Crazy Island and Jin and Sun emerge from their tent where they have obviously gotten back together.  Probably more than once.  Hurley sees them and gives Jin a thumbs up.  Sun watches sadly as lonely Sayid digs a lonely grave for Shannon.

  In the hatch, Jack is tending to Sawyer when the injured man starts stirring.  In a half-conscious state, he mutters that he "loves her" which Jack takes to mean Kate.

  Kate herself is out in the jungle picking fruit out of a tree top.  She drops some and almost falls.  As she is picking them up, the camera stays close so anyone who has seen a horror movie knows that someone will be there when she stands back up.  And there is.  But it's not a person- it's a black horse.  Kate then flashes back to sitting on her front porch playing with a lighter when a drunken somebody comes home.  She helps him into bed, resists his come-ons and heads outside.  As she rides off on her motorcycle, the camera lingers on the house just a little too long so that anyone who has ever seen an action movie knows that it is going to blow up.  And it does.  This cues the creepy LOST title screen.

  Later, Kate goes to the diner where her mother works and shows her the insurance policy she took out in her name.  This only makes mom wonder what Kate did.  Hey, that's the name of this episode!  Kate leaves without answering the question and tells her mom that she was never there.

  In the present, Kate returns to the hatch where Jack tells her to go to Shannon's funeral.  Kate insists that Jack go instead.  Jack wonders if she is okay and she insists that she is.

  In the outskirts of the society that Jack built, Mr. Eko finds Ana-Lucia to tell her that he is going to the funeral.  She says she is not for obvious reasons.  Eko tells her that most people realize it was an accident.

  At the funeral, Sayid says a few words about how he loved Shannon, then Jack, Locke and others come forward to drop handfuls of dirt into Shannon's grave.  My mom gets the quip of the night when she says, "That is going to take a long time."  Now you know where I get it from.

  In the hatch, Kate turns on some music and feeds Sawyer some mashed up fruit.  Sawyer starts muttering so she leans in closer.  Then he grabs her by the neck and screams, "Why did you kill me?"

  When Jack and Locke return to the hatch, they find the alarm sounding, Sawyer laying on the floor in a heap and Kate nowhere to be found.  Locke scrambles to get the numbers entered and pulls it off without a second to spare.

  In the jungle, Charlie finds Kate and starts going on and on about the funeral and the new people, but Kate is not really listening and he notices.  She asks if he thinks there are horses on the island and he says no, just polar bears and monsters.  Kate walks off to have a flashback in private.

  In this one, Kate is buying a one-way ticket to Tallahassee when the man behind her strikes up a conversation about how much Tallahassee sucks.  We know this man to be the marshal and he confirms this by grabbing her and cuffing her after a minor scuffle.  She says she is innocent, but the marshal tells her that her mother gave her up.

  At the beach, Jack asks Charlie if he has seen Kate and he points him toward the cave path.

  In the hatch, Locke uses bolt cutters to finally set Jin free from his broken handcuff.  Yay!  Michael asks Locke what the blast doors are for but he doesn't know.  Desmond never mentioned them.  Locke mentions the movie and Eko says that he would like to see it too.

  Jack finds Kate sitting alone in the jungle and is ready to read her the riot act over what happened in the hatch.  He lets up a little when he sees that she is freaking out.  He hugs her as she cries and anyone who has seen a romantic movie knows that they are going to kiss.  And they do.  Kate seems even more freaked out by this and takes off into the jungle.

  At the conclusion of the hatch matinee, Michael has many questions about the button and the computer and the missing pieces of the film.  Locke says the missing pieces probably aren't important.  He asks Eko what he thought.  Eko's wheels are turning but he walks away without answering.

  At Shannon's grave, Kate apologizes to Sayid for not attending the funeral.  She also mentions how she might be crazy.  Sayid says he saw Walt in the jungle, so maybe he is crazy too.  When Sayid walks off, Kate flashes back tothe ride in the marshal's car.  He asks her why she would kill her stepfather now, but she continues to proclaim her innocence.  The marshal laughs this off and makes some speculations of his own.  Kate swears that Wayne (the stepfather) never touched her.  The marshal goes to light a cigarette just as a black horse crosses the road.  The car swerves and hits a pole.  Kate unlocks her cuffs, wins a struggle with a not-quite-unconscious marshal and takes off in his car without even thanking the horse.

  Back in the hatch, Locke is still trying to explain the computer shenanigans to a skeptical Michael.  He shows him that nothing can even be entered until the four minute warning.  Michael asks to look at the hardware and Locke agrees as long as he doesn't break anything.  Locke then has a sit down with Mr. Eko, who has something to show him.  He tells a story about a king who lived before Jesus- a round-about analogy that leads him to reveal that the bible he found in the other hatch is hollowed out and has a piece of film inside.  Locke is shocked to discover that it is a spliced portion of the orientation film. 

  After Kate returns to the hatch to relieve Sun from watching Sawyer, she flashes back to a visit to an Army recruitment center where she talks to her father.  Dad can't believe the phone calls he's been getting about her and really can't believe that she has actually done what they say she has.  Kate asks why she wasn't told that her stepfather was really her father.  "Dad" says it was because he knew that she would kill him.  Kate asks why he wasn't the one to do it and "Dad" looks shocked and says he doesn't have murder in his heart.  He says he has to call the authorities but agrees to her request for an hour head start.

  When the trip down memory lane ends, Kate approaches Sawyer and addresses him as Wayne.  She confesses that she killed him not because he beat her mother or drove off her dad but because she couldn't stand that he was a part of her.  At that point, Sawyer wakes up and asks who Wayne is.

  Meanwhile, while Locke and Eko put the missing film piece back in, Locke asks what the odds are of the events that have led them to this point.  Eko says not to confuse coincidence with fate.

  Kate helps Sawyer out of the hatch and shows him the proof that they haven't been rescued.  Sawyer swears and can't believe that she wasn't ribbing him.  Waking up in a bed, he would have sworn they had been saved.  They flirt a bit until Sawyer sees a big black horse.  Kate turns and sees it too, thankfully confirming that she is not as crazy as she thought.  She approaches and pets the horse before it walks off.  Sawyer asks her if she knows it and she says yes.

  At the beach, Jack brings Ana-Lucia a drink to recreate their meeting.  She asks if he is going to try to convince her that everyone doesn't hate her.  He replies, "Only if you're going to try to convince me that every woman is not crazy."

  In the hatch, Locke and Eko watch the Orientation Film: Special Edition, complete with extended bonus features and deleted scenes.  The missing piece warns against using the computer for anything but entering the code.  Using it to communicate with the outside world compromises the integrity of the project and could lead to another "incident".  Anyone who has ever seen a disaster movie knows that as soon as this crucial information is learned, someone is going to violate it.  And Michael does.  The computer beeps at him with a message "Hello?"  He answers back and says that he is Michael.  The shocking reply to that is "Dad?"

Next time on LOST: Eko prays and the security monster returns. 

Thursday Thoughts

Opening

  Just to be a little clearer from yesterday, I don't dislike Fall Out Boy for wanting to be more successful, but there are more respectable ways to achieve it.  You can make it very big as an alt rocker in this world.  The White Stripes, Bloc Party, and the Dandy Warhols are some of the biggest bands around, but you don't hear them on Hot 86 or The Beat 93 or whatever.  The difference between rock and pop is that rock is created by artists and pop is manufactured by producers.  (Except Ashlee Simpson...she's real  Bwahahahaha)  Fall Out Boy can get themselves into a mansion very easily without appearing on a radio station that by the very nature of the genre it plays makes me call their artistic integrity into question.  It has nothing to do with me being an elitist, even if that's kind of what I said yesterday.

Music

We kick off my 30 favorite songs of 2005 with Gangsters and Thugs by Transplants.  I was pretty surprised when I searched the internet for "Transplants" and the band was the first result.  I expected a lot doctors and ads for breast enhancement.  I guess the band is pretty popular.  Their official website is here:

Transplants

You can watch the edited video here: Music Archive Videos: Transplants :Haunted Cities :'Gangsters & Thugs' 

You can get hair transplants here: Dr. Paul McAndrews - Los Angeles Hair Restoration and Corrective Surgery Expert

 

Television

  All I watched yesterday was LOST and, while I wasn't blown away or particularly surprised by the Kate stuff, everything else was great.  The full recap will be coming later, of course.  I quite literally gasped at the ending.

 

Quotes of the Day

- That puts the tail in tailgating.  -Tony Kornheiser commenting on the RV converted into a strip club at the last Buccaneers game.

- So...Rose's husband is white- didn't see that coming. -Hurley on LOST.

- Am I in a bunk bed?- Sawyer waking up from his illness on LOST.

 

Shout-outs

Happy Birthday, Mom.

I <3 hit counters

Top 4 Reasons I Came Back to the original VCH:

-I missed my hit counter and comments- it felt like I was writing in a black hole.

-I missed the mood and music at the top.

-The publishing button at blogger sometimes takes a long time.  I thought a few times I had lost some entries.

-Sentimentality.  I started here.  I put a lot of good stuff here and I just couldn't get attached to anything new.

MUSIC

Since my private journalistic thoughts have jumped all over the place in recent weeks, I think I should refresh everyone's memory on what have been my favorite songs of the year.  Scroll down if you don't care.  :-P

50. Helicopter- Bloc Party

49. Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt- We Are Scientists

48. One of is Gonna Die Young- The Ark

47. Thinking About You- Ivy

46. Love Steals Us From Loneliness- Idlewild

45. I Turn My Camera On- Spoon

44. You Can't Steal My Love- Mando Diao

43. Twin Cinema- The New Pornographers

42. Empty Room- Marjorie Fair

41. Fortress- Pinback

40. Fistful of Love- Antony and the Johnsons

39. Catch My Disease- Ben Lee

38. Silver Sparkler- The Jim Yoshii Pile-up

37. We Both Go Down Together- The Decemberists

36. Apply Some Pressure- Maximo Park

35. Hey Now Now- The Cloud Room

34. Ghettochip Malfunction (Hell Yes!)- Beck

33. Goodnight Goodnight- Hot Hot Heat

32. An Honest Mistake- The Bravery

And today we add #31: Sugar, We're Going Down by Fall Out Boy.  I don't have much to say about this one.  I liked it a lot better when it first came out and was only on the alternative stations.  This band sold out faster than a sale item on Black Friday.  The pop machine gobbled them right up and all of a sudden I'm hearing them on Sirius' "Pulse" channel- a self-proclaimed channel for soccer moms.  Call me an indie snob, but that just infuriates me.  Enjoy your mansions, Fall Out Boy.  I hope Matt Groening sues you.

Television

 -We watched the finale of Prison Break yesterday and I have to say I was a little disappointed with where it ended.  I have a feeling that's because that episode was not meant to be the start of a 4 month cliff hanger.  They had clips of what was coming up!  If the episodes are made, why hold them until March?  You've effectively canceled AD and Kitchen Confidential, so why not just keep PB on when 24 comes back?  Are they going to be doing the special encore thing every week for 24 too?  (By the way, when does a rerun stop being a "special encore"- they showed almost every episode of PB twice.  Doesn't seem too special to me!)

- I haven't watched the last two episodes of Desperate Housewives yet, and what's worse is, I don't really care that much.  That show is just flailing.  Someone needs to whack it with an oar.

- On the other hand, Grey's Anatomy just keeps getting better.  A tad predictable in spots, but that can be forgiven because the characters just keep getting better and better.  The last episode was one of the funniest yet.  If this show can keep blending humor with heart and drama, then it should be around for a while.

- This is the first time in a while that I haven't been completely hyped up for LOST tonight.  I still love the show, but I'm just not anticipating Kate's story as much as I was the "other 48 days" or the meeting of the two survivor groups.

Wrestling 

If there was a silver lining in My Name is Earl and The Office not being on last night, and it's a small one, it's that I was able to record the WWE special on the DVR.  There was only one glaring problem I had with it and that was The Big Show.  On Monday night, he was positioned to be the next great hero- the man to finally put an end to Triple H's bullying.  And then 24 hours later, he is shown as a big bully himself, deliberately trying to hurt a 175 lb man who had dedicated the night to his recently deceased best friend, Eddie Guerrero.  So which is it, WWE?  Are we supposed to love Big Show or hate him?  Are we supposed to like him on Raw and hate him on Smackdown because he is a so-called "invader"?  Does anyone in WWE think that there are actually fans who have such a brand preference that they only watch one or the other.  Look WWE.  There are no Smackdown fans.  There are no Raw fans.  There are only WWE fans.  As interesting as the feud between the two shows has been- no fan is taking real sides as if it's a real promotional war.  We root for the wrestlers we like- and how are we supposed to do that if a guy is playing two different characters on consecutive nights?

I'm Back

  Yes, I've decided to reluctantly return home to my original journal.  It just doesn't feel the same at the new one.  I miss my hit counter and my comments.  AOL has added a disclaimer under the ads and the pop-up blocker knocks out most of them, so I guess that will have to do. 

I'm back and I can only hope that my readers come back.  :)  I haven't had a comment in weeks.

Moving!

I really don't feel like fighting a corporation over why there should or should not be banner ads in personal journals, so I'm just leaving.  The Voyages of Captain Happy will now be found on blogger:  The Voyages of Captain Happy

Hope to see you there. 

Sincerely,

Captain Happy

The Best of 2005- #47

  #47 on the countdown is Thinking About You by IVY.  You can watch the video at their official website here: IVY | media player  If that link doesn't work, you can get to the video pretty easily yourself by navigating the website.  It's worth a look, as it is the best video about animated catepillars I have ever seen! 

Thebandivy.com

IVY | official website

Band: IVY

Album: In the Clear

Members: Adam Schlesinger, Dominique Durand, Andy Chase

Hometown: New York, though Durand is from Paris

Why Thinking About You is #47:  Anyone who has paid attention to my Top Tens over the last year (which is thousands and thousands I'm sure!) will realize that I like my female vocalists to sound hauntingly beautiful.  Thinking About You has a little bit of that quality while still keeping a catchy beat.  It's a good one that will stay with you for a little while.

The Best of 2005- #48

  #48 comes to us all the way from Sweden...it's The Ark with One of is Gonna Die Young.  AOL Music does not have this song available but you can visit the band at their website and hear at least a sample.  When I have more time I will do a little more extensive research and try to find the whole song.  For now, I'm going to the game!

The Ark

Band: The Ark

Album: State of the Ark

Homecountry: Sweden

Members: Ola Salo, Sylvester Schlegel, Martin Axen, Jepson, Leari

The Best of 2005- #49

  #49 on my own personal Best of 2005 countdown is Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt by We Are Scientists.  You can watch their low-budget, yet very funny video (in which the band is attacked mid-song by a ferocious bear) right here:

Music Archive Videos: We Are Scientists :Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt :'Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt'

  As you can probably tell by the name of the link, Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt is the title track from the band's debut on a major label (Virgin).  Here are the vital statistics on We Are Scientists-

Band: We Are Scientists

Hometown: Brooklyn, NY

Members: Guitarist/lead vocalist Keith Murray, bass player Chris Cain, and drummer Michael Tapper

Currently touring with: Hot Hot Heat

Why Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt is #49:  This is one of those songs that hooked me right away.  I am notoriously bad at giving anything a chance, even bands I like, because I always flip through the radio stations looking for something I know the words to.  I know it's a little crazy for someone who is so into new and offbeat music, but that's just me.  Anyway, like I said, I never went through a phase where I was shutting this song off automatically- I listened to it and liked it the first time.  The words are easy to understand, though slightly repetitive so I wouldn't listen to it 100 times in a row or anything, but at this point, it still gets turned up whenever it comes on.

  You can visit We Are Scientists at their website, which is conveniently located at wearescientists.com.  I just found this site today while doing my research and I implore you to take a minute to read the band's slightly wacky advice column.  Also, if you don't like AOL's addition of a pre-video Wendy's commercial, the video is also on the official site commercial free.  It loaded pretty easily for me.

The Sci-Cave : We Are Scientists

My body is your body,  I won't tell anybody, if you want to use my body, go for it!

The Best of 2005- #50

  Starting off the official countdown at # 50 is Helicopter by Bloc Party.

  You can watch the video here: Music Archive Videos: 1 of 2: Bloc Party :Silent Alarm :'Helicopter'

  AOL has more commericals than they used to, which is kind of annoying, but be patient- the video is a cartoon and worth the wait.

    If you're not into videos, which I really am not that big into myself, you can just listen to the song here: Bloc Party :Silent Alarm :'Helicopter'

  Helicopter is off the album Silent Alarm.

  Bloc Party

Hometown: London

Members: Singer/Guitarist Kele Okereke, guitarist Russell Lissack, bassist/singer Gordon Moakes, and drummer Matt Tong

Why Helicopter is #50:  The latest release getting radio play off of Silent Alarm is damn catchy, that's why.  I debated a long time over whether or not this song I had just been exposed to a few weeks ago should be included on a list I was making such heartbreaking cuts from.  In the end I decided that 1) The hook- "Are you hoping for a miracle?" crawls into your head and stays there for a long time and it's not annoying.  2) I don't know why the song is called Helicopter, but everytime I see a helicopter now, I start singing the song....who knows, maybe that's why it's called that.  That, my friends, is influence and any song that influences my everyday life MUST be included on a list of my favorite songs.  :-)

Visit Bloc Party at their home on the web, which is conveniently located at Blocparty.com.

BLOC PARTY: HOME

 

Are you hoping for a miracle?

100- 51

  I couldn't stop myself.  I was sitting here trying to decide what songs I really felt bad about not putting in my Top 50 and I ended up filling the thing out into a Top 100.  100-51 are not getting any fanfare, though!  I'm just listing them.  That is what will keep my Top 50 special- the details.

THE BEST OF 2005

100. E-Pro- Beck

99. Lazer Beam- Super Furry Animals

98. Dakota (You Made Me Feel Like the One)- Stereophonics

97. Wonderwall- Paul Anka

96. My So-Called Celibate Life- The Pernice Brothers

95. Born in the 70's- Ed Harcourt

94. Trouble With Dreams- Eels

93. Hey Scenesters!- The Cribs

92. Bedroom Talk- The Starting Line

91. Little Sister- Queens of the Stone Age

90. Everyday I Love You Less and Less- The Kaiser Chiefs

89. All That I've Got- The Used

88. L.S.F. (Lost Souls Forever)- Kasabian

87. Nancy- Troubled Hubble

86. Car Underwater- Armor for Sleep

85. Paralyzed- Bob Mould

84. Smoke It- The Dandy Warhols

83. How We Know- The Thermals

82. Here Comes a City- The Go-Betweens

81. Dear Scene, I Wish I Were Deaf- Nightmare of You

80. Galvanize- The Chemical Brothers

79. Love & Memories- O.A.R.

78. Chicken Payback- A Band of Bees

77. Beverly Hills- Weezer

76. Hey Man (Now You're Really Living)- Eels

75. Out of Control- She Wants Revenge

74. Drive Away- Gratitude

73. God Is My Girlfriend- The Brian Jonestown Massacre

72. Riot Radio- The Dead 60's

71. Middle of Nowhere- Hot Hot Heat

70. Love Me Like You- The Magic Numbers

69. Dare- Gorillaz

68. Dirty Little Secret- The All-American Rejects

67. Swing Life Away- Rise Against

66. Girl- Beck

65. NY Girls- Morningwood

64. I Never- Rilo Kiley

63. Daft Punk is Playing At My House- LCD Soundsystem

62. Bang Theory- World Leader Pretend

61. We Will Become Silhouettes- The Postal Service

60. You're Beautiful- James Blunt

59. Very Loud- Shout Out Louds

58. I Was Never Young- Of Montreal

57. Call To Love- Crooked Fingers

56. When I'm Gone (Sadie)- No Address

55. Soft Machine- By Divine Right

54. Baby C'Mon- Stephen Malkmus

53. Smile Like You Mean It- The Killers

52. Over My Head (Cable Car)- The Fray

51. Finding Out True Love is Blind- Louis XIV

Fan Club

Okay, I think the KKK has a bigger message board than I do...not that I've looked.  Come on...go here:

The Kevin Burke Forum - Home

LOST- Episode 30: Abandoned

  Previously on LOST: Boone died, Michael ran off and Jin and Mr. Eko saw The Others.

  It is night and Shannon is looking after Vincent when Sayid tells her to grab her things and come along.  He leads her onto the beach where he has built her a new tent.  It is this sweet gesture that allows him to finally score a blonde.

  Elsewhere, most of the Tail Gang is asleep and Ana-Lucia is uncharacteristically reluctant to wake them up and move out.  Sawyer accuses her of being lost.  Hey, that's the name of the show!  Just as Sawyer starts badmouthing Michael, Michael shows up to hear it.  Mr. Eko informs them that he saw Them and this is the motivation the gang needs to get up and move out. 

  Back in the love tent, all the action has made Shannon thirsty, so Sayid leaves to get her some water.  Right after he makes his exit, the wind blows out the candles and Walt appears in the doorway.  Shannon screams, which cues the creepy LOST title screen.  You know, he's psychic and sopping wet and Shannon was thirsty, so maybe he was offering to drip in her mouth.  No need to scream really.

  Sayid assures her that the whole thing was just a dream, but Shannon is convinced otherwise.  She stalks off, upset that her new boyfriend doesn't believe her.  All the commotion has brought Charlie, Claire and Aaron over to see what's wrong.  Charlie scolds Claire for waking the baby.  She does not look too happy as he takes him out of her arms.

  As Shannon walks off, she flashes back to a ballet class where she is teaching a class of young girls.  After class, she is giggling with her friend when she gets a cell phone call bearing some bad news.  Her father was just in a car accident.  Later at the hospital, a doctor informs Shannon and her stepmother that Dad died.  Dr. Jack Shepherd walks by just to make sure it's drilled into our heads that this was the same man he let die to save his future wife.  Even in this time of great crisis, Stepmom is sure to correct the doctor when he mistakenly refers to Shannon as her daughter.

  As the jungle trek continues, Sawyer falls down and is tended to by Libby, who is most qualified as a clinical psychologist.  Sawyer tells her to talk to his shoulder.

  At the beach, Hurley and Rose are hanging wet laundry, which Hurley thinks issilly since there is a dryer in the hatch.  Rose says she doesn't like the hatch.  Shannon comes by to ask if they have seen the stuff Michael and Walt didn't take with them.  They point her in the right direction and Shannon finds what she is looking for.  A shirt for Vincent to pick up the scent on.  The dog bounds off, dragging Shannon with him into the jungle.  Shannon stops in her tracks when she comes across Boone's grave.

  Elsewhere, Claire is having problems with her gigantic crying baby until Locke stumbles onto one of the only people he hasn't solved a problem for yet.  He wraps Aaron up tight in a blanket and the crying stops instantly.  Claire complains to Locke that Charlie has become Aaron's dad without her agreeing to it.  She thinks he might be a religious freak since he carries around a statue of the Virgin Mary.  Locke, the only person on the island who knows of both Charlie's habit and the contents of the statues, looks intrigued.

  Over at Boone's grave, Shannon flashes back to the last funeral she attended in the real world.  Shannon is sad and alone at her father's wake until she is reunited with her beloved stepbrother.  They share a drink in her bedroom and talk about how she might beat the odds and get an internship at a prestigious dance school in New York.  They also discuss how Boone's mom hates her so Boone encourages her to keep trying.

  On a distant and rocky shoreline, Mr. Eko tells Ana-Lucia that they have to cut inland into the jungle.  She is skeptical that he is just doing it to get Sawyer home faster- a claim he does not deny.  Ana-Lucia says she liked him better when he didn't talk.

  At the beach, Claire expresses shock and gratitude to Locke that Aaron is still asleep.  Then she forces Locke to hold the baby and we can clearly see that he is awake.  Even my mother caught that continuity error.  Just then, Charlie stops by to take the baby so Claire can go for her walk.  Locke dutifully hands the kid over and Claire glares at the rock star.

  Back in the jungle, Jin and Sawyer are making too much noise for the Tail Gang's liking so Michael puts his foot down and demands to know what happened to these paranoid freaks.  Ana-Lucia coldly explains that on their first night, The Others took three of them.  Two weeks later, they took nine.  They are ruthless animals.  Michael says they took his kid.  Ana-Lucia responds that they took a lot of things.

  Elsewhere, Sayid finds Shannon at her brother's grave and tries to sympathize, but she will not hear it, saying this is not all about Boone.  As she goes off to find Walt, she thinks back to the moment of truth about the dance school.  She got in!  The good times don't last, however, as she soon after gets a call that her rent check bounced.  At Stepmom's house, she learns that there was no will, Stepmom got all the money and she is cutting Shannon out.  Shannon asks for at least the money to get to New York, but Stepmom is a particularly wicked Stepmom and denies the request.

  At the beach, Charlie and Locke are playing backgammon and talking about Claire, who Charlie thinks needs to learn more responsibility.  Locke thinks that's an interesting thing for a heroin addict to say.  A surprised Charlie reminds him that he is a recovering addict.  Locke stands corrected and they have a minor little stare down before going back to the game.

  Back in the deep, dark jungle, Sawyer's body finally gives out from fever and injury and he collapses.  Michael tries to snap him out of it, but Sawyer treats this like a deathbed scene and rolls his eyes back.  Ana-Lucia says they have to keep moving, a decision which is universally panned.  The rest of the Tail Gang agree to help Michael build a stretcher for the unconscious con man as Ana-Lucia can only look on with disgust.

  In a different part of the deep, dark jungle, Sayid is following close to Shannon and trying to talk her out of her wild goose chase.  Shannon says she is not crazy because they found the bottle of messages that were on the raft so Walt very well could be out there.

  And so after making a phenomenally impressive make-shift stretcher, the Tail Gang hits their next challenge- a big, steep hill/borderline cliff.  They manage to get the stretcher up with some teamwork but in the process, Cindy somehow vanishes into thin air.  Ana-Lucia wants to look for her, but Mr. Eko reminds her that is just what the Others want.  Just then, the Whispers start up so Ana-Lucia pulls out the gun and tells everyone to run.

  Meanwhile, Shannon flashes back to some more bad news.  1) Boone couldn't get any money from his mom because she seemed to know what it was for.  2) Shannon can't crash at his place in New York because he is leaving to take a job with his mother.  He tries to offer his sister all the money he has with promises of more, but she is so betrayed that she refuses.  He urges her, but this only makes her more angry and determined to make it on her own.  When she asks if Boone believes she can do it, he can't answer so she kicks him and his money out.

  It is pouring rain now and Shannon's search for Walt has gotten more frantic.  After she trips, she has a break down and tells Sayid that she needs him to believe in her because no one else does.  She thinks he is going to leave her as soon as they get rescued.  He counters this by saying he believes her about Walt and that he loves her.  Their romantic embrace is interrupted by the Whispers and the reappearance of Soggy Walt.  He presses his finger to his lips, but Shannon does not heed this advice, getting up and running toward him, shouting his name.  Sayid realizes this is foolish and chases after her in a panic.  And that's when the off-camera gun goes off.  Then a stunned and bleeding from the gut Shannon falls into Sayid's arms.  Sayid is in shock, but his shock turns to anger when he looks up and sees Ana-Lucia holding the literally smoking gun.  The End.

  Next week: an especially awesome and extended awesome episode that will take us way back to the beginning- it's the Tail Gang origin story!

If not for the teams that made the Super Bowl last year, I would have been 9-3!

  Not posting my football picks worked as I went 7-5-2 and held onto first place.  It should have been even better, but I foolishly had the Eagles and the Patriots in the primetime games.  My record stands at 66-59, 3 games in front of my brother and sister-in-law.  Still tight, but better than last week.

--------------------------------------------------

  So it turns out that my Sirius wasn't broken after all.  I had something plugged into the wrong hole according to the guy at Best Buy.  This still doesn't explain how it worked on first break at work two weeks ago but then not at lunch.  Unless the gremlins got in while I was inside.  No sign of forced entry, however.  Those gremlins are good.

-----------------------------------------------------

  Wasn't it great to see Arrested Development back on the air last night?  ....................*crickets*............... Shut up crickets- that show is great!

---------------------------------------------------

  My tingling hands are back and worse than ever.  I can't even get a decent night's sleep because it hurts so bad.  It makes me not even want to sit here and type.  And as excited as I am for LOST to be back tomorrow, writing the beloved recap is going to be a literal pain.

----------------------------------------------------

  Grey's Anatomy is not only a great show, but they also have great taste in music.  During the preview for next week's episode, they were playing Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley, which you might recognize from reading my Top Ten list the last few weeks.

-----------------------------------------------------

  Speaking of the Top Ten, it's retired for the last 51 days of the year as I count down my 50 favorite songs of 2005.  (I pause to celebrate the birth of Jesus, hence the 51).  See you on Thursday for the LOST recap where someone *gasp* dies, or, as I like to say, bites it.  Then on Friday, it's the big day as I reveal what my 50th favorite song of the year was.  That actually doesn't sound too impressive, but remember, there were 60 songs that didn't even make it!  :) 

Done!

  The Top 50 is done.  I sat in the car on break from work last night and forced myself to do it.  It was quite difficult to cross off 60 songs so I am thinking about listing honorable mentions or something.  I simply could not believe how much good crap had to face the cruel cut.  I felt like a reality show contestant backstabbing my alliance.  Anyway, once I got down to 50, the rest of the compiling was easier than I thought.  It simply becomes a game of 'which one of these songs would I want to hear the least?'.  I am pleased with the results even if there was no clear cut #1 this year.  Just because there was no stand-out doesn't mean there was no good music this year.  Quite the contrary- the song I have at #12 I contemplated putting at #1- if anything, there was TOO MUCH great stuff out there. 

-------------------------------------------

  I'm not posting the football picks this week.  I have had two consecutive bad weeks and am losing my grip on first place, so I have to change the routine.  You understand.  Oh stop, the tears aren't necessary.

-------------------------------------------

  I think I made it over the hump (quiet Julie) at work.  I pulled a 105% on production last night and if I can get it up another 5, I will start earning bonuses.  Last night I thought to myself, hey these sacks of potatoes are lighter than they used to be.  Than I realized it's more likely that I am getting stronger.  I think I will stick this job out- paid to get a work-out.  Of course, my book will be here any day now and then I will be a famous writer.  A double threat!  Brains and brawn.

------------------------------------------------

  I noticed the other day that my Yankees poster for the 1999 championship has the Twin Towers in the background.  I should take that down.  Also, this Giants poster has Jason Sehorn on it with the label BONE CRUSHERS.  That one should definitely come down.  Or at least be changed to 'overrated pretty boys'.  :)