I have to wait 14 days to get an STD

  This morning I went to Dr. Kim's office to see if I have carpal tunnel syndrome.  Or as I am going to call him, the sadistic Dr. Kim.  First I thought he was funny in a stereotypical, coldly efficient Asian way.  His secratary was out so he answered the phone, "Hello...She not here today." *Click*  Then he brought me to the back where the fun really began.

  I laid down and he hooked my right arm up to a machine.  Then he said, "May feel slight discomfort."  I think we all know that in doctor-speak, that means "you are going to pray for death."  "Okay, here we go."  ZZZZZZZZT!!!  My arm gets a shot of electricity and goes involuntarily flying toward the ceiling.  "Here we go.  Here we go.  Here we go."  Over and over and over til I was sweating.  Then the stabbing began.  "I use needle now.  Don't move."  I was punctured repeatedly by what I think was a miniature camera because he kept staring at a screen that sounded like a sonogram.  And he wasn't gentle about it.  That flippin' hurt a lot. 

  Speaking of flippin', then it was time to flip around to test the left arm.  By this time he figured I was an old pro at getting electrodes shot into me because the 'Here we go' warnings stopped.  If this had been a cartoon, I'm sure you would have been able to see my skeleton. Zap Zap Zap Zap Zap.  Soon it was time for the stabbing again.  One time he got me so good, that I said, "Ow, that was a good one."  He laughed and said, "No mercy."  Damn your hard-nosed Asian culture, Dr. Kim.  We American men are babies!  I am starting to think that he may have done some damage with that "good one" because it still hurts right this minute and I haven't been able to use my left thumb all day.

  Then came the diagnosis.  Carpal tunnel syndrome, just as I self-diagnosed a couple of months ago.  I had to stifle some laughter when he demonstrated what the syndrome was using his hands.  He made a circle with his thumb and forefinger and then stuck his other forefinger into the hole.  To him, this represented the nerves getting pinched, but to the rest of the world it represents "getting it on".

  Anyway, I have to have surgery on both hands sometime next week and (boo hoo) I am missing some work.  He told me there is no magic pill to make nerves betterand they won't get better on their own, so I have to get the surgery.  I guess all that literature I read about surgery being a last resort was wrong.  And if you think he was getting dollar signs in his eyes, he wasn't, because he isn't even the guy who does the surgery.  I have to go to doctor #3- a hand specialist.  I'm glad actually- I don't exactly want a doctor whose motto is "No Mercy" to be performing surgery on me!  The weird part was that he said I have had this for a year or more, which is weird since I have only been getting symptoms for a few months.

In reference to the title of this entry- Wal-mart, honest to God, abbreviates Short Term Disability as STD, but I can't even qualify for it until I miss 14 work days.  Kind of unfair to those of us who only work a three day schedule.  So instead I took a Leave of Absence and have to burn out my sick time if I want to get paid.  I have about 100 hours so I should be good.  It's outpatient surgery so I shouldn't be on the shelf for very long.

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#22 on my Best of 2005 list is In the Morning by The Coral.

Their website is here: .:THE CORAL:.

Sorry I can't find any samples of the song, but if you have Realplayer Rhapsody, you can hear it on that.

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  I wanted to do something a little different and present my own music awards, since the Grammys are so disrespected and irrelevant.  To build them back up, we need to have awards that are even more disrespected and irrelavant.  With that in mind, I present the 2005 VCH Music Awards.

 

Breakout Band of the Year

 Death Cab for Cutie

Runners-up: Fall Out Boy, Bloc Party

DCFC signed with a major label this year while maintaining their artistic integrity and indie roots and oh yeah, they also put out an album that's pretty much better than anything they've ever done.  Fall Out Boy came out of nowhere with their hit "Sugar, We're Going Down" and became huge on both the rock and pop charts.  Bloc Party put out three solid hits this year, but for the moment, their best years are still ahead of them.

 

Best New Band

  The Kaiser Chiefs

  Runners-up: She Wants Revenge, Tegan & Sara

  The Kaiser Chiefs are another one that just blew onto the scene this year.  Yes, they are yet another retro-style band, but they still manage to make themselves a unique sound.  The four songs they released this year were all catchy and excellent.  She Wants Revenge definitely gets a mention here, but I wanted to save them for another category.  Tegan & Sara are a cute pop type band, but I don't know if they have the staying power that would keep me from looking back on these awards in the future and laughing at my choice.

The Keep on Rockin' Award (for the band that just kept on staying great) 

  Franz Ferdinand

Runners-up: Gorillaz, The White Stripes

  Who would have thought that Franz Ferdinand, who had a mega-hit with Take Me Out last year, would be able to keep churning out catchy tune after catchy tune?  I would not have been surprised if they had been a one hit wonder, but instead they released a second album that is nearly as good as their first.  They now have solid proof that they are toe-tapping specialists with their current hits Do You Want To? and The Fallen.  As for the Gorillaz, their new album is arguably better than their first and who even knew that an animated band would be able to pull off a follow-up.  And now I hear they are going to start touring?  That will be amazing if they pull that one off.  I was resistant to the White Stripes new style at first and thought Get Behind Me, Satan was going to bomb, but as usual, the Stripes grow on you with their pianos and drums and cute lyrics.

  The 'Welcome Back, Where Ya Been' Award

  Fiona Apple

Runners-up: Kate Bush, Depeche Mode

  I don't think anyone overcame more to get her album released the way she wanted it to be heard than Fiona Apple.  And Extraordinary Machine was well worth the hassle.  Fiona overcame being bullied by a record label, artistic disputes with her collaborators and her own procrastination to release one of the most beautiful collection of songs ever.  Kate Bush- what can you say?  If music actually had a comeback player of the year award, she would have to take it since it was 12 years between albums.  As for Depeche Mode, I assumed they were dead- now all of a sudden they're back on the radio- with a new song to boot.

 

Biggest Buzz

She Wants Revenge

Runners-up: The Magic Numbers, Antony and the Johnsons

Practically no explanation needed for this one.  I have never been so personally involved in a band receiving buzz than I was when I kept getting messages from people who had heard SWR on Sirius 26: Left of Center and wanted to know if I had a copy of the song- Tear You Apart.  I didn't, because this album wasn't available for most of the year, even though LOC had been playing them for a while.  That's how you build buzz- demand blowing supply out of the water.  The Magic Numbers are apparently HUGE in England so I ended up hoping LOC would play them before I even knew what they sounded like.  I was not disappointed.  Antony and the Johnsons, you either love it or you hate it.  Either way, it gets you talking.

The Wait a Second....This Sucks! Award

  The Darkness

  Runners-up: The Strokes, The Dandy Warhols

  Here's a sure-fire way to be able to tell you are heading toward being a one-hit wonder- When your new stuff sucks so bad that the radio stations stop playing it and go back to playing your old song which hasn't been dusted off in years.  It happened to the Spin Doctors and now it's happening to The Darkness.  On the radio today I heard I Believe In a Thing Called Love.  I did not hear, One Way Ticket to Hell and Back.  That song sucks and as an English major, I can't bring myself to even give it a chance.  The Darkness is destined to become part of the Jukebox from Hell radio gimmick in 25 years.   "J5- I Believe in a Thing Called Love"   "AHHHHHHHHH!"  

The Strokes- good move making your new song sound nothing like any other song you've done.  Stick with what works.  The Dandy Warhols- it seemed to me like no two songs sounded the same and it worked for them.  The new ones, which do all sound the same, don't do anything for me. 

The Please Just Go Away Award

  Coldplay

Runners-up: Audioslave, Foo Fighters.

  I have nothing much to say about any of these bands because it's been so long since I've liked anything they've done.  Please just, well, go away.

 

 

That's it on my end.  What are some of your favorites this year?