Saturday Night

Highlights of taking Kasey to the "Mall Trick or Treat" earlier this evening:

-Walking behind someone wearing purple pants, yellow shoes and a green rag on their head and then realizing that it wasn't a costume, it was a weird old Chinese lady.

-A kid wearing a Jason mask, camoflauge pants and a Troy Aikman jersey.  Huh?

-Kasey reacting with genuine concern when people's skull masks started spurting blood.

-The Indian kid at the newspaper stand giving out the contents of the store.  Kasey got a package of crackers.

-Finally, the grumpy looks on the faces of all the regular people who didn't realize the mall was having a special night.  I overheard a group of teenage girls saying "Remind me never to go shopping on Halloween!" and more than one middle aged, clearly childless woman saying "Excuse me!" and almost knocking kids over to get to the store they wanted.  Hilarious! 

Review- Saw

  SAW

  Suspension of disbelief is not a problem I usually have, but Saw crosses the line early on and stays there for the duration.  Every serial killer movie wants to be the next Se7en, and Saw tries its hardest to recreate the atmosphere of that film.  It succeeds for the most part- we have the gloomy and nameless city where it's always night time.  We have the killer with endless resources and time to create whatever sick games he wants to play.  We even have a tired black cop in pursuit, though he's not the focus of the movie and Danny Glover is given shamefully little to do.

  The great thing about Se7en was that while it might be a little far-fetched, it never strayed too far off course to be implausible.  The Deadly Sins are a nice tool to work with for a psycho with a purpose.  Kevin Spacey's villain wasn't trying to save anyone- he was making a point.  The villain in Saw challenges individuals to appreciate their lives but does so in an overly complex and inherently flawed way.  Would being forced to murder someone actually cure a drug addict of their habit?  This movie seems to think so.  Spacey tied people up and forced them to make choices.  Simple and effective.  Saw's bad guy builds elaborate mazes made of barbed wire or invents bear trap face masks.  It would be funny if the movie wasn't being serious. 

 The bar has been set by movies like Se7en and now it seems that every movie has to try and go higher.  Instead of making a straight up and honest edge of your seat thriller, the film makers seem concerned more with being one step ahead of the audience.  The twists and turns, plot devices, red herrings and surprise ending are supposed to shock and thrill us, but I was too busy laughing.  The entire premise is that stupid.

  Things do start out promising, however.  Two strangers awaken chained to the walls across from each other in a dirty public bathroom.  One is told he has to kill the other in order to go free.  If the movie had stayed in that room and watched these guys figure things out, I might have bought it.  By the time the movie runs through the gamut of invisible paint, one-way cell phones and of course, hacksaws, I was literally shaking my head at the utter implausibility.  Yes, it must be fun for serial killers to set up games of life and death for their victims, but how could anyone have possibly set all this up?  No one, not even perfectionist killers can predict what people will do in any given situation. 

  When a movie is supposed to take place in the real world, it's the little things that get you.  Tell me Mr. Killer, if the guy you had dumped in the bathtub for Scene 1 had drowned, what would you have done?  The whole premise of your game would have been shot to pieces!

1 star

LOST- Episode 6: House of the Rising Sun

  My thoughts and prayers go out to the Hendrick family- this weekend was a sober reminder of what really happens when a plane crashes.

After a tedious recap (tedious for those of us who watch every episode three times), things kick off through the eyes of Sun.  Don't you love it when episode titles are puns?  She smells the lovely flowers and watches as Kate teases Jack about his tattoos, which she thinks are out of character for him.  Charlie disrupts the two and suggests they get a move on to fetch the water because everyone is thirsty and Mr. Locke looks eager to be off.  They finish packing up and head off- Charlie openly disturbed by the notion of Kate and Jack hooking up.  Sun takes all this in with a sad look on her face.

  Watching her husband beat a fish to death triggers a flashback to a party where Sun receives a note on a napkin from the waiter- the waiter is revealed to be Jin who does everything but wink at her.  Later, in private, he kisses her and they talk about marriage.  I don't speak Korean, but there's subtitles.  Sun wants to elope to America but Jin would rather do the right thing and ask her father for permission.

We quickly shift back to the present where Jin is in a huff and storming toward the water.  He tackles Michael from behind and starts beating the holy hell out of him, complete with ridiculous movie sound effects.  Walt and Sun scream for help, but the only thing that comes is the creepy LOST title screen.

Back to the action, Sayid and Sawyer (brawling makes strange bedfellows) come to the rescue- a textbook tackle by Sayid gives Sawyer time to drag Michael to safety.  Sayid calls for the Marshall's handcuffs which Sawyer keeps in his back pocket for reasons unknown.  They chain Jin to the wreckage and ask Michael what happened.

Off in the magic jungle, Jack leads the way to water.  Charlie suggests looking through the wreckage for useful stuff and Locke agrees, much to Charlie's surprise- I guess Charlie is not used to having any good ideas.  In a bit of irony, Jack emphasizes that they should look for drugs.  Before he even picks up one suitcase, our favorite rock star scampers off behind a tree to hit his stash.  Locke is right on top of it- not because he was performing a drug bust, but because Charlie is standing on top of a beehive.

On the beach, Michael is getting awfully tired of being harrassed- he didn't do anything!  He points out that the attack could have been a clear cut case of racism.  Sun watches silently and thinks back to when her husband got her an engagement ring.  The only catch is that he has to go to work for her father- a prospect which Sun doesn't think too highly of.

  Back in the jungle, Jack tries to cover the beehive with a suitcase, but before he can, Charlie slaps at a bee too hard, causing the hive to shatter and everyone to run for their lives.  One gratuitous bra shot later and Kate and Jack have stumbled onto a cave filled with skeletons.  Kate wonders where they came from and Jack reminds her where they are- a jungle with polar bears for goodness sake!  Anyway, the bodies have been there at least forty years according to Jack's speculation.  Charlie and Locke show up- Charlie immediately blows Island Secret Number 1- now Locke knows that they knew there were people there before them.  I don't see the big deal- he was about to find out anyway.  Locke dubs the bodies Adam and Eve.

  Sun tends to her captive husband and thinks back to the time when he bought her a puppy- compensation for his tirelessly working for her father and consequently never being home.  Before they can properly argue about their lifeless marriage, Jin has to take an urgent cell-phone call from Bossman Dad. 

  Water team is finally ready to head back, but Locke wants to stay behind to get to know Charlie better as he continues to salvage.  Jack punches the numbers in his head and realizes that it would be a lot more logical to move everyone to the waterfall than to keep coming back to fill 46 jugs.  It makes sense, though over the course of a week, he seems to have forgotten about the Giant Invisible Monster.

  At the shore, Michael realizes that his son knows nothing about him- not even his birthday.  As if being in Australia hadn't cut Dad out enough- Mom apparently never even talked about him.  Elsewhere, Sun urges Jin to let her explain things to everyone, but he refuses- her place is by his side and they are not going to explain anything to a thief!  Flashback to Jin arriving home covered in blood.  Sun is getting a fishy feeling that what Jin does for her father may not be entirely savory.  Being covered in blood that's not yours is usually a pretty big clue.  Jin reminds her that he does whatever he is told and he does it for the both of them.

  On the way home, Kate stops to tie her shoe right in front of Jack and asks him if he was checking her out.  In her dreams though, because he admits he was only thinking about how great it will be to start a new jungle society.  Kate bursts his bubble by telling him that she is not entirely convinced about the merits of his plan.

  At the second crashsite, Locke annoys Charlie by following him around.  Apparently he knows who he is and what he's looking for.  Once again, this isn't a drug bust- Locke has heard of Driveshaft and has both of their albums, which he gives his opinions on.  You know, I can suspend my disbelief that a plane could have the good fortune to crash on land and 48 people could survive, but an aging militant liking a modern rock band from England seems a little far-fetched for me.  Anyway, Locke seems pretty sure that Charlie will see his lost guitar again.

  Jack and Kate bring Sayid some water and have a civil, unspoken power struggle over what to do with Jin.  Jack changes the subject to the big move, which Sayid disagrees with.  Does that qualify as irony that an Iraqi guy doesn't want to move into a cave?  Sayid rightly asks why he and Kate weren't in on the decision making process, yet again.  Turns out, Sayid would much rather stay on the hot beach and keep the signal fire burning.  Settling down in the jungle would be like giving up on the hope of a rescue.

  Later at the beach, Jack recruits some extras and Hurley for his new civilization plan, while Sayid signs Michael up for staying right there.  Sawyer teases Kate about being caught in a love triangle with the leaders of each group.  They weigh the options of being an optimist or a pessimist.  Meanwhile, Sun follows Michael into the shallow woods and watches him chop wood.

  She flashes back to a conversation she had with her interior decorator.  Once out of Jin's earshot, the two ladies plot Sun's escape.  At the airport for their scheduled trip, a car will be waiting for her outside-  all she has to do is excuse herself, leave, and her husband will think she has been kidnapped.  Brilliant in its simplicity!  Back to her watching Michael, she approaches him and as it turns out, she can speak English!  Michael is appropriately shocked, but does manage to learn that he is inadvertantly wearing her father's watch.  A watch Jin feels obligated to protect at all costs.

  In the jungle, Charlie tries to shake Locke and this time, Locke finally asks him to hand over the drugs.  Locke only wants to help so he starts up on his crazy magic island talk- if you want your guitar back badly enough, the island can make it happen, but you have to give something in return- like your drugs.  Charlie reluctantly agrees and then- voila!- he looks up and his guitar is in a tree unscathed!  The only question is, did Locke see it there and play a head game with Charlie, or is there something to this Magic Island of Wish Fulfillment?

  On the shore, Kate finally breaks it to Jack that she is not going with him.  He would like to know why she is the way she is and what crime she committed, but she has changed her mind about wanting to tell him.  Elsewhere, Michael does a little yelling at Jin, gives the watch back and chops the handcuffs off.

  Sun flashes back to the airport scene from last week where Jack is trying to get his father's coffin on board.  She sees the clock- it's time to go, the car is waiting, but she is a sucker for flowers.  When Jin holds one up to her, she decides she can't leave him, wipes away her tears of regret and walks back over to his side.

  That night, Jack and company arrive at the waterfall to settle down.  Hurley puts on his headphones and listens to an appropriate song that asks if this is where you want to be.  Over at the beach, Walt asks his dad when his birthday is, and gets a playful headlock as an answer.  Jack and Kate both look sad that they have been split up.  Fade out...

Next week: It seems Charlie is going to get chased by that Giant Invisible Monster everyone forgot about, beg Locke for his drugs back and be responsible for Jack getting trapped in some kind of cave collapse.

On a side note, I had some problems with this installment- first no one bringing up the strange tree-pushing dangers that come with moving into the jungle.  It was never really made clear what Jin and Sun were doing in Australia.  I assumed they were in Korea the whole time.  Finally, there was no Claire, Boone, or Shannon.  I was very interested to find out if the pregnant woman would go with the doctor or understandably stay put.  I suppose these are questions left to another day, but they seemed answerable enough for this one episode.

This Week's Top 10

It's a milestone- for the first time since June, Modest Mouse does not have a song in my # 1 slot.  I already know both of their songs are going to be in my best of 2004, so I made a conscious effort to give some other songs a chance.  Here's my Top 10 for the week, now with links for the curious.  :-) 

1. I'm Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance - AOL Music: My Chemical Romance: 'I'm Not Okay...

2. Golden Touch- Razorlight- AOL Music: Razorlight: 'Golden Touch'

3. Buried A Lie- Senses Fail- AOL Music: Senses Fail: 'Burried a Lie'

4. Somewhere Only We Know- Keane- LAUNCH: Music Video Player

5. I Love You Cause I Have To- Dogs Die in Hot Cars- AOL Music: Dogs Die in Hot Cars: 'I Love You ...

6. Ocean Breathes Salty- Modest Mouse- AOL Music: Modest Mouse: 'Ocean Breathes Salty'

7. Breakin'- The Music- AOL Music: The Music: 'Breakin' '

8. A Favor House Atlantic- Coheed & Cambria- AOL Music: Coheed & Cambria: 'A Favor House A...

9. Here I Am- The Explosion- AOL Music: The Explosion: 'Here I Am'

10. The Getaway- High Holy Days- LAUNCH: Music Video Player

Week 8 NFL Forecast

  Officially I am a beyond horrible 44-55 this season, but doing this makes me feel like I have all the answers.  I am always right and always wrong and knowing this brings me comfort.  My AOL almost timed itself out when I changed radio stations, so if my analyses are really quick this week, it's because I'm trying to get them all in before the computer goes down and I lose what is usually my longest post of the week.  On to the games:

Take the Packers -2.5  Since Coach Mike Sherman took over playcalling duties- an old Jim Fassel trick!- the Pack has scored 79 points in two games.  I'm not just saying the Pack is back because it rhymes, I'm saying it because it's true.

Take the Redskins +2.5  I am still not sold on this Packer defense- look how badly they've been run on in some of their games.  All Gibbs does is run and max protect the QB so much that they only have two passing patterns per play sometimes.  The DC crowd will be very raucous coming up on election day and that atmosphere certainly helped the Skins to a Week 1 win.  It could do it again here considering the political ramifications...if you haven't heard, a Skins victory before Election Day means re-election, an opponent victory means defeat for the president.  Without fail!  For once I will be rooting for Washington...

Take the Eagles -7.5  The Eagles got a wake-up call by almost blowing the game in Cleveland- it's an indication of how good they are that even when they don't bring their A game, they can still pull games out.  The Ravens defense might be good, but T.O and McNabb have been monsters this year.  They will score and the Baltimore offense will not be able to keep up.

Take the Ravens +7.5  The Ravens defense thrives on challenges and Owens certainly presents one- expect them to be ready.  The Browns proved what we kind of already knew- you can run the ball against the Eagles.  They might not have Jamal Lewis, but the Ravens still employ a run-heavy playbook.  I expect some guy I've never heard of to torch the Eagles D- that's the way the NFL happens sometimes.

Take the Bills -3  I think this game comes late enough in the season that weather could be a factor.  It's already looked like it could snow a few times here in upstate NY.  Sure, the Cards played well on the road in domed stadiums (Atlanta, St. Louis) but those desert boys are in for a shock when they have to come up and play in real football weather.  It's hard to believe the Bills are 1-5...they're really not that bad.  Honest.

Take the Cardinals +3  I think it's pretty obvious that the Cards' new coaching is working out while the Bills' isn't.  That's what happens when you hire somone as a vendetta against Pittsburgh instead of someone qualified.  I'm sure Mr. Mularkey is a very nice man, but how do you get a head coaching job as the Offensive Coordinator of a losing team?  Notice now that the Steelers have abandoned the crazy formation passing game and gone back to running, they're winning again.  Meanwhile, the Bills offense is the worst I have ever seen.

Take the Vikings -7  Culpepper proved that he can handle the job of carrying the team last week with Moss out.  They didn't score big, but he still made plays and they still won.  Now with Moss back, they should crank things up again.  The Giants got exposed a little last week- the defense had better wake up this week.  If they made Harrington look like an MVP, what are they going to do for an actual MVP candidate?

Take the Giants +7  Good or bad, the Giants have matched up well against the Vikings.  They have a lot of skill players that the weak Vikings D can't handle.  Tiki Barber is having an MVP like season of his own (though I think they'll never give it to a RB over a qualified QB).  If this turns into a shoot-out, the Giants could easily cover...especially when Moss gets upgraded during the week and the Vegas line shoots up.

Take the Titans -3.5  This line surprised me- a team free-falling favored over a team that just got a huge victory?  That's how much Vegas likes the home team sometimes.  It might be valid here- the Titans are well-coached and now that they know they won't have McNair, they can actually gameplan for Volek to be their QB.  Things always work out better when you're more prepared.  I also give you Exhibit A from the short week file- the St. Louis Rams.  Called by me last week (because I call everything), the Rams could not handle a short week followed by a plane trip.  They're a good team- imagine what this scenario will do for a bad team.

Take the Bengals +3.5  How many times do the Titans have to lose before they get taken off the Good Team Pedestal Las Vegas relies on so heavily?  These two teams are passing each other on the elevator.  Take the team that's on the way up.

Take the Colts -1.5  I think the Colts will get up for this one- they will want to prove that they are the elite offense in the NFL.  They certainly proved it in the playoffs.  Manning's ability to audible will not be affected by the crowd because he does it all the time and his line knows what to do.  In a game with no defense, you have to take the team with the better offense, and it's Indy.

Take the Chiefs +1.5  The Chiefs sent out a second notice last week that they are not dead yet.  Now they don't have a bye week to kill the buzz this time.  Eight rushing TDs in one game was a record and if the line plays that well again, they might just keep the ball out of Manning's hands long enough to let the potent KC offense get their revenge.

Take the Cowboys -3  This is the Cowboys' last stand.  If they don't get well here, the season will be all but over.  Parcells admitted he was at his lowest point...well, there's only one way to go but up.  I think his players, who love him, will get this one at home for him.

Take the Lions  +3  Another example of how set in their ways Vegas is... they love the Cowboys.  What exactly does Detroit have to do to get some respect?  Be more undefeated on the road?  They have waltzed into Atlanta and the Meadowlands and handed two good teams their first home loss.  Mooch has made believers out of them and they will beat this suddenly bad Cowboys team.

Take the Texans -1  Speaking of believing in yourself, the Texans are getting there too.  They have enough victories over quality teams that at some point we have to stop being surprised.  They are turning that new stadium into their own and starting to develop a home-field advantage.  This is a suddenly important division game and the nod goes to the home team for most of those.

Take the Jaguars +1  If the Lions are getting no respect, I can't even print what's being done to the Jags.  They are in first place!  They just knocked off the best offense in the league.  Their reward for being 5-2 is to not even be favored against an up and down 3-3 expansion team.  The Jags have won enough close games that it can't be a fluke anymore.

Take the Broncos -6.5  Vegas loves their Broncos too.  They just got creamed by the Bengals of all teams on national TV...better keep that line under a TD then, right Vegas?  It's becoming a theme this week, but I just can't get over some of these lines.  Anyway, I see why they did it... the Broncos are home and the Falcons just lost 56-10.  And they did it by giving up a record 8 rushing TDs.  And what do the Broncos do a lot of?  Okay, I'll bite and I apologize Las Vegas.

Take the Falcons +6.5  Last week aside, the Falcons defense is good.  You can bet they will be hungry for redemption.  That's what I give you for the Falcons this week: Redemption.

Take the Seahawks -8  Finally the nightmare ends for Seattle.  One letdown loss and two tough road games later and everyone is down on them all of a sudden.  Fortunately, the Panthers are in worse shape.  Seahawks get well here and remind everyone why they were Super Bowl contenders.

Take the Panthers +8  It's hard to come up with reasons to like the Cats in this one, but that might be a reason in itself.  I made jokes about Cleveland and Cincy last week and they both covered.  You just never know what's going to happen in the NFL.  After the Monday night Cincy game, I'm ready to use that as a valid reason for picking a team.  Take the Panthers because you never know.

Take the Patriots -3  Sure, I could say it's a team that has won 21 in a row and now is gameplanning for a rookie QB.  I could say a lot of reasons, but at this point all I have to say is: Never bet against the Patriots.

Take the Steelers +3  I'm not going to make too big a deal about Bettis saying he wanted to be the one to break the streak.  I'm sure every team the Pats have played wanted that.  But I do like the fact that all these long streaks have historically ended on the road.  I think the Steelers are a good enough team to get it done.  The Patriots haven't had a killer road game for this entire streak.

Take the Chargers -5.5  Finally one of the upstarts gets some respect from Vegas, though I think it's equally a condemnation of the Raiders.  They are beyond awful.  I'll use the elevator analogy again.  Chargers- up, Raiders- down.

Take the Raiders +5.5  I can understand the Raiders being underdogs, but 5.5 is a lot.  This is the Chargers we're talking about.  By midseason, some of these upstarts stop sneaking up on people and fall back down to the pack.  Of the upstart bunch, I think San Diego is the best candidate for this reasoning.

Take the Bears -2.5  I don't expect you to take me seriously when I start an item with "Take the Bears."  Rim shot, please.  There.  I just did my part to make the Bears a sure fire winner this week.

Take the 49ers +2.5  You know, I have vague childhood memories of being at a Christmas party where the Bears and Niners were playing a very important late season contest.  My how times change.  Since I gave no real reason to take the Bears, I can't tip the scales for San Fran by giving you my insight on them.  Sorry.  E-mail me if you care that much!  I highly doubt anyone would admit to caring about the 49ers right now.

Take the Jets -7  The Jets are going to make the playoffs on schedule alone.  I can't remember anything like this before.  They failed their one big test in New England, but who cares?  As long as they have more patsies than pats on tap, they will roll to 10 or 11 or 12 wins.  They also have the Dolphins number, don't forget that.

Take the Dolphins +7  A-ha!  All this time the Dolphins were playing opossum.  They are really capable of laying 31 on anyone, they just didn't want to.  Now that they are finally back, they should be able to dispatch the Jets with ease.  Seriously, if the Red Sox can come back from 3-0 and beat the Yankees, anything can happen...10-6 Miami anyone?

Well, that's it.  I feel good- almost like I'm going to be both right and wrong about everything. :-)

Video Review- "Cold"

"Cold"- Crossfade

  Today's video came highly recommended from a co-worker who told me the girl in it is really hot.  The guy didn't even know the band's name- he called them Coldfade, I think.  Heck, I don't blame him for being confused with "Cold" being out at the same time as "So Cold" by Breaking Benjamin.  There's also bands named Cold and Coldplay for that matter..

  But I'm losing focus- back to the hot girl.  She looks okay to me but I think he must have built her up too much in my head.  What strikes me more than any beauty in this video is the irony.  Lead singer Ed Sloan is singing that he never meant to be so cold, while completely ignoring the young lady who has interrupted his band's session.  She even nudges him to no avail.  When he finally does acknowledge her presence, he is singing at her, not to her.

  It is no surprise then that she goes into the bathroom and throws a picture of them into the toilet- literally where the relationship has gone.  In the spots where the woman is seen moving on with her life, the roles are almost reversed- she is the one ignoring him as he watches on very closely.  It's almost as if he is a ghost.

  I like the song, which always helps when I'm judging a video, but the video itself isn't very high concept and the girl, while pleasing, isn't nearly as smoking hot as I was led to believe.  I'll fight through my own shallowness to give this one a B.

LAUNCH: Music Video Player

Saturday Night

I got an e-mail from AOL yesterday.  They want a picture of me in case they decide to highlight this very blog as an editor's choice... I don't know if that's something they do for new ones or if it means I'm doing a really good job blogging.  Either way, being on the front page of keyword Journal could only mean good things for a young writer trying to create a fanbase :-)

Wow, this World Series is hard to watch as a Yankee fan, excuse me while I turn it off...Anyway, in honor of the Red Sox Nation having their one measly moment, I have decided to compile my own list of favorite sports memories:

5) The Devils 2000 Stanley Cup run...Just moving in to my first place with the future wife, I remember desperately trying to get the TV hooked up in an empty apartment to see if the Devils could come back from a 3-1 series deficit on Philly.  Then a few days later, I felt a strange combination of being both ecstatic and subdued when they won the Cup past Keri's bedtime and I had to keep the celebration down.

4) The Giants 31-3 victory over the Bears on their way to Super Bowl XXV.   The only playoff game I've ever been to.

3) The NJ Nets sudden and unexpected rise to prominence in 2001-2002.  It just felt great to finally be able to wear my Nets gear without being secretly ashamed.  A team that sucked for my entire lifetime in the FINALS, baby!

2) Super Bowl XXV- Some things just stick with you as part of your life.  I remember so much about this game, not just the infamous and obvious Wide Right.  Mark Ingram being short of the first down and juking, jiving and hopping on one foot to make it.  Matt Bahr- "This is for the troops!"  Thurman Thomas almost being the MVP in a losing effort.  Best Super Bowl ever.

1) The NFC Championship before Super Bowl XXV.  I remember being at my aunt's house and celebrating like we had actually helped the team win.  Lot of memorable things here too- Fake punt- direct snap to LB Gary Reasons of all people , LT forcing Craig to fumble when all hope seemed lost, Marshall creaming Montana from behind- and of course that radio call they play all the time whenever they show highlights of this- "It's over for the three-peat!  It's over."  

Wow- kind of sad that three out of five are from the same football season- have I really been a partof that much misery that I have to dwell on one year?  Nah- the Giants' run was just that darn good!

Review- Shaun of the Dead

SHAUN OF THE DEAD

  I knew I would like this movie before I even sat down.  The tagline on the poster outside reads: "A romantic comedy.  With zombies".  Well, two out of three isn't bad.  There's plenty of comedy and plenty of zombies, but not much romance.  It's not missing entirely, but the movie has better targets in mind and no one is going to leave the theater complaining that there wasn't enough kissing.

  I really hope no one sees this movie expecting an actual romantic comedy or worse, to be really scared, because the film is pure laughs.  The zombies are really more of an inconvenience that keeps getting worse as the film progresses.  At first, our hero Shaun doesn't even notice them- in a hilarious extended scene where Shaun does exactly the same thing he had done the previous day, oblivious to the fact that there is blood everywhere and the dead walk amongst him. 

  Shaun's world starts out as both monotonous and all-consuming.  He is going nowhere as an employee at an electronics store.  Even when having a heart to heart with his girlfriend about getting a life, he can't be bothered to change the scenery from the pub he frequents or tell her friends and his to take a hike while they sort things out.  These every day problems keep him in enough of a rut that dire news reports and television warnings to stay inside go unnoticed.  I imagine there's supposed to be some thinly veiled social commentary when even the viewer can't tell at first who is a zombie and who is not- such is our workaday lifestyle!  But the movie doesn't spend any time dwelling on such observations before amping up both the violence and the comedy.

  The movie does resort to the usual horror cliches from time to time.  For every hysterical scene like Shaun and his friend Ed trying to decide which of their vinyl records they can part with before hurling them at oncoming zombies, there's also obligatory horror items such as one of the survivors trying to hide the fact that they will soon be forced to switch sides.

  Overall, the comedy is sharp and fresh- even if it wasn't, the premise alone keeps one from ever being bored.  It's easy to like Shaun and root for him as he finds his untapped courage while battling under strange circumstances.  The film should not be frightening to anyone over twelve, but there are a few moments where things do look grim, even for the residents of a zombie "spoof".  The ending is inspired and I believe it is what might really happen if we were ever forced to share the world with the undead. 

3.5 stars 

Friday Morning

  I really wanted to get a set schedule going for this thing but Movie Friday might be kind of tough since there really isn't anything I want to see.  Is the biggest movie out this week really The Grudge?  Anyway, this is what I'm shooting for:

Monday- Video Review

Tuesday- Football Forecast, where I courageously pick every team!

Wednesday- My own personal music chart (Top 10)

Thursday- LOST recap

Friday- Movie Review

Saturday- Flashback- I'll bring up something from my past- cue soap opera music...or, more likely, review older stuff I see on DVD or something

Sunday- Off, during football season anyway :-)

It'll be tough to see a movie every week so Friday will be the most difficult.  Hopefully I will talk to you later, dear diary!

LOST- Episode 5: White Rabbit

   We open through the eyes of a young boy being told to stay down by a bully.  Apparently not wanting to lie there and watch his friend get beat up, the boy gets up and takes a beating of his own.  Bully: "You should have stayed down, Jack."

   Back to "live" action, Charlie, who is in a panic, wakes Jack up and points out to sea, where a woman is screaming for help.  Charlie would go himself, but he has little hobbitt legs...I mean, he can't swim.  Shirt torn off for the ladies, our hero, Dr. Jack scrambles into the water and pulls up, not the woman, but Boone who, turns out, is an even lousier lifeguard than we first imagined.  Making a life or death gametime decision, Jack decides to bring Boone back to the beach and then head back out to get the girl.  These people defer to the hero so much!  Is there no one else among the forty-plus who can swim?  Anyway, will Jack make it in time?  We won't know before commercials.

   Cue creepy LOST opening title.  We're back and Boone is on the beach looking depressed.  Elsewhere, Kate gives Jack the vital statistics on the woman he failed to save.  Yes, failed!  He regrets that he had never even spoken to her.  RIP, Joanna who liked to swim.  And we're down to the final 46.  Jack half-heartedly tries to justify his actions but is distracted by that guy in the suit again.  This time the guy is standing in the water, so we pretty much know that he's in Jack's head now.  Kate confirms this by not seeing him and asking when the last time the good doctor got any sleep.

   Sun has a subtitled conversation with Jin about how everyone is ignoring them and no one is coming to rescue them.  Jin assures her that they don't need anyone else and if she needs someone to tell her what to do, she's all set with him around.

  Elsewhere, Sawyer has opened up a shop where he barters all the stuff he stole from the wreckage.  One guess what he wants to trade Shannon his bug spray for.  To hammer home what Sawyer is up to, Claire complains to Kate that she can't find a hairbrush in anyone's luggage.  Such vanity in these women!  You're pregnant- shouldn't you be looking for vitamins or something?

   Hurley and Charlie come to Jack with Crisis #72- they are running low on drinking water.  Jack wants no part in the decision making process- a fact that is lost on the two knuckleheads who follow him around like puppies.  He finally has to yell at them: "I'm not deciding anything!"  This stuns the boys who respond with a weak, "Why not?"

Flashback time- this week we are obviously invading Jack's memories.  This one is post-bully fight and Daddy dearest is in his fancy study drinking and looking over his son with restrained disdain.  Dr. Dad relates the tale of how he came home today unaffected by the death of a small boy on the operating table as if this cold-heartedness is something to brag about.  His point is that if you can't handle failure, don't become a doctor- in fact, never even make decisions!  He thinks Jack doesn't have "what it takes."

   Boone wakes Jack from his thoughts and angrily tells him he should have left him and gone after the drowning Joanna.  Jack tries to walk away, but Boone follows, asking the question Jack has been asking himself- who made you the leader?  Jack ignores him and heads straight into the jungle to chase that wacky man in the suit again.  The realization that this is his father literally bowls him over.

   We head back to Jack's flashbacks where Mom informs a fully grown Dr. Hero that Dad has run off again.  Jack tries to beg off the job of bringing him back, but Mom insists.  In the Lost tradition of providing more questions than answers- Mom blasts her son by telling him "You don't get to say 'I can't'- not after what you did!"  Jack looks remorseful and reluctantly agrees to retrieve his father from, where else but, Australia.

   Back on the beach, Walt runs up to Kate with the terrible news that Claire has fallen down from the heat.  Since Jack is in the jungle, our replacement heroes of Charlie and Michael carry her into the tent.  All she needs is some water, but unfortunately, someone has swiped it all.  Kate, Sayid and Locke decide it may be time to look for a water source since things could start getting ugly.  Even in these extreme circumstances, sexist barriers remain solid as Sayid shoots down Kate's offer to go look, but agrees to let Locke go off alone.  Locke may know where to look, but after last week, one has to get a little nervous when people head into the jungle by themselves.

  Speaking of which, Jack is currently in a desperate state as he chases after his father who is staying one step ahead of him by simply walking or reappearing behind him.  Hmm, maybe that's a clue that he's not really there, Jack, old buddy.  Flashback to Australia, where a hotel employee informs the good son that Dad hasn't used his bed and has been in quite the drunken stupor when seen.  Jack confirms this by finding a lot of empty bottles of pills and alcohol.  Dad also left behind his wallet- never a good sign. 

  Now deep in the magic jungle, Jack is just about to catch Dad this time when he trips and tumbles down a hill, leading to him hanging precariously from a cliff.  I was filled with such fear that I could barely listen to Stuart Scott and Subway Jared telling me to buy their food.  My fears were groundless, however, since Mr. Locke knew exactly which way Jack went and arrives on the scene to rescue him.  When asked if he is okay, Jack cracks up laughing, because that is such a dumb question.

   In the tent, Claire wakes up and bonds with Charlie by making fun of Mr. Locke.  Could there be romance in the air?  Outside the tent, Hurley rats out Jin and Sun for having water.  Sayid and Kate try to break the language barrier and manage to get Jin to point at Sawyer.  Kate wants to confront the rat, but Sayid convinces her to wait and follow him to his stash.  They don't have to wait very long since Sawyer goes there in the next scene.  They tackle him and make accusations but of course, he is once again a red herring.  Water has no value to him since it's eventually going to rain- he traded his last bottle with Jin for a fish.  That should rejuvenate the struggling crashsite economy!  That sarcastic jerk tops things off by tossing Kate the Marshall's badge- she's the new sheriff in town!  

  Mr. Locke feebly tries to catch dripping water off a leaf while simultaneously giving Jack a much needed pep talk.  Neither works very well- Jack says he doesn't have what it takes (wherever did he get that from?)  Locke changes the subject by asking him why he's out there.  He assures Jack that he is notgoing crazy and that there is magic on the island.  Even though it is technically impossible for Jack's father to be there, he asserts, it might very well be possible in this special place.  I can't do this scene justice- here is a transcript of what the great Mr. Locke says:

      "I'm an ordinary man, Jack.  Meat and potatoes.  I live in the real world.  Not a big believer in...magic.  But this place is different.  It's special.  The others don't want to talk about it because it scares them, but we all know it.  We all feel it.  Is your white rabbit a hallucination?  Probably.  But... what if everything that happened here...happened for a reason?  What if this person you're chasing is really here?" 

Jack: "That's impossible." 

Locke:  "Even if it is- let's say it's not." 

Jack: "Then what happens when I catch him?"  

Locke: "I don't know, but I've looked into the eye of this island- and what I saw... was beautiful."

  Locke then goes off to find more water.  Jack would like to come but Locke insists that he stay out there to finish what he started.  "A leader can't lead until he knows where he is going."

Flashback to the morgue, where we learn that Dad's last drinking binge has killed him via heart attack.  Jack sheds a few tears both in memory and around the jungle fire he has somehow made.  He is stirred out of his thoughts by the sound of ice rattling in a glass... a familiar sound heard in the 'Dad's study' flashback.  Jack does some more jungle stumbling- this time in the dark and finds, of all things, a waterfall.  Oddly, there's a doll in the water- Jack follows a trail of dolls to more plane wreckage where sitting innocently in the mess is a coffin.

  This triggers yet another memory scene where Jack argues with the airline counter girl about getting his Dad's coffin onto the plane.  I think we can assume that he succeeds.  Back in the jungle, you get no prizes for guessing that the coffin is empty.  Jack wrecks the thing to pieces with a convenient pipe.

   At camp, Boone is busted as the one who stole the water.  Turns out he wanted to take Jack's place as the leader by rationing the water himself without bothering to tell anyone.  Nice plan, genius.  Before hecan be properly lynched, Jack emerges from the jungle to put a stop to the chaos.  Destroying the coffin being pretty good catharsis, Jack is ready to be a leader and gives a nice, inspiring speech about how they need to stop waiting to be rescued and start worrying about organizing and surviving.

  With peace restored, everyone drinks the rest of the water (tomorrow they'll get more from the waterfall).  Sun thanks Jin for getting her water and Jin tells her, "That's what husbands do," finally making their relationship clear.  Oh wait, maybe he could be reminding her that they were going to be married and aren't yet.  Change that to almost clear.  Sawyer asks Boone how it feels to be the new "Island's Most Hated" while Jack tells Kate that his father died.  And that is that.  We fade to black before they show everyone peeing from drinking so much water before bedtime.

Next week: Jin attacks Michael and vice versa, the speaking parts stumble across some skeletons and Locke knows who Charlie is and what he's after...

On another note, it looks like they are going to be steadily replaying the episodes on Saturday night from now on, which can only be a good thing.

This Week's Top 10

   For anyone who told me they have never heard of any of my favorite songs, I listen to AOL Radio stations like Radio @ AOL : NewRockArtists as well as Top Alt, Alt Mix, etc... I wish I could take it in the car with me!  I also dutifully tune in to the MTV2 Rock Countdown Sat. at 7pm and anytime I'm in Albany I listen to the absolute best radio station- 102.7 WEQX.  I may have to move 20 miles east so I can pick it up from home.  Great tunes and one (1!) commercial in an hour ride.  On to the actual list:

1. Ocean Breathes Salty- Modest Mouse

2. A Favor House Atlantic- Coheed & Cambria

3. Golden Touch- Razorlight

4. I Love You Cause I Have To- Dogs Die in Hot Cars

5. I'm Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance

6. Slow Hands- Interpol

7. Somewhere Only We Know- Keane

8. Nowhere Again- The Secret Machines

9. Alive & Amplified- The Mooney Suzuki

10. Dry Your Eyes- The Streets

Week 7 NFL Forecast

It's Football Tuesday again!  Is there any season that goes faster than fall?  Summer changes to autumn seemingly overnight- blink and it's Halloween, blink again and it's Thanksgiving.  Then before I can even find all my sweaters, White Christmas is on the radio and teams have been mathmatically eliminated from the NFL playoffs.  Better get on with my preview of Week 7- Week 17 is just around the corner...

Take the Ravens -6   When was the last time there were so many terrible offenses in the league at once?  At least once a week there is a game between two awful offenses and good defenses that screams 13-10! or 6-3! at you.  The Ravens have had a week off to get some of their offense healthy and they should be able to put up enough to get past Buffalo.  The Ravens' combo of bad offense and good defense has won a Super Bowl, the Bills combo barely beat Miami.

Take the Bills +6   Hey, see those scores I mentioned up in the Baltimore section?  They cover this six point spread.  The Bills personally have been involved in two 13-10 games.  This team doesn't lose by more than a TD- they're natural born heartbreakers- the Red Sox of football.  Also, this is Game 1 without Jamal Lewis for Baltimore.  Kyle Boller cannot beat anyone by himself.

Take the Giants -6.5   Something has got to give- the Giants are undefeated at home and the Lions are undefeated on the road.  By the way, the latter is a fluke. 2-0 on the road this year, but 2-24 in their last 26.  The Lions have been capitalizing on mistakes their opponents make.  The Coughlin Giants don't make those kinds of mistakes.

Take the Lions +6.5   Both of these teams have been playing over their heads but the difference is the Giants are coming off a lazy old bye week, while the Lions are still stinging from a pride hurting blow-out loss.  They will be ready to play and the Giants will not.  I also cannot emphasize the jinx factor enough- I will be at this game live and I have not witnessed the Giants win since 1997.

Take the Eagles -7.5   I'm afraid this is where the Browns 8-8 season gets blown.  They could have been 8-0 at home and 0-8 on the road, but no, Philly had to be on the home schedule, of course.  Cleveland has proven over and over that they can't hang with a team that has a better offense than they do.  I see nothing to indicate that the Eagles aren't going to keep their roll right on going.

Take the Browns +7.5   Eh, I have to grasp at straws for this one.  The Browns are undefeated at home!  The Eagles are starting a string of three straight games against AFC opponents and might not be particularly motivated!  7.5 is more than a TD so if the Browns can just keep it close, they'll cover! Garcia wants revenge on T.O.!  Like any of those?  I didn't think so.

Take the Colts -9   The Colts can put a stranglehold on the division with a sweep of the Jags.  There's much less buzz about the matchup this time around since the Jags have come back to Earth a little bit.  1-2 in the last three with the one being yet another late comeback.  The last time Jacksonville got on an airplane, they got blown away by a mediocre Charger team. 

Take the Jaguars +9   Nine?  When I saw that, I thought it was a misprint.  The first game between the two was 24-17 and Jacksonville had a chance to tie.  That's all this team does is stick close and win or lose on the last possession.  Spotting nine gives no respect to this upstart squad and it could motivate them.  If you think the players don't know the spreads, just look how hard the Pats D played that untimed down last week when they already had the W clinched.

Take the Vikings -6.5   Culpepper has more TD passes than 29 teams have total TDs.  He is being mentioned at the top of MVP conversations.  Until this passing game is stopped, the Vikings are not going to be a bad pick.

Take the Titans +6.5    The Vikings defense is terrible.  They are ranked 30th.  Somewhere along the line that has to cost you.  Why not against a struggling former MVP looking to regain his form?  I think this bad defense could be some good medicine for McNair. 

Take the Panthers -3   The Panthers are not playing all that poorly.  It's just that they play everything so close to the vest and the breaks they got last year are going the other way this year.  The defense is still full of All-Stars who should be able to bring Drew Brees crashing back down and finally get some balls bouncing their way.  Also consider the jetlag.  San Diego flewto Atlanta, went back home and now has to fly right back to Charlotte.  I will be shocked if they are not flat from all that traveling. 

Take the Chargers +3   Second highest scoring team in the league playing the conservative "Martyball"?  That tells you that this team has some offensive talent.  The Panthers are slacking on defense this year, giving up a lot of big runs.  LT may have his way with them.

Take the Rams -6.5    I don't think I have to give many reasons to pick against the Dolphins.  The Rams are clearly the better team here and their defense finally showed up on Monday night, just in time to play an offense that has more picks for TDs than actual TDs.  The Rams had their season turn around with that big comeback two weeks ago and they will just keep on rolling.

Take the Dolphins +6.5   The Dolphins games have all been close.  Now they are getting to the point at 0-6 where teams are going to take them lightly.  It will be hard for the Rams to get up for this one, playing a bad team and traveling on a short week.  Plus, the Dolphins play on grass and the Rams are only the greatest show on turf.

Take the Bucs -6   It doesn't look like there are too many games on the schedule that the Bucs can win but this is one of them.  At home against a team that's struggling worse than they are.  At least the Bucs have stability at QB now- Griese looked okay to me on Monday night.

Take the Bears +6   I take back what I said above- there's not one game, there's two games every week where two bad offenses play two good defenses.  The Bucs barely score six points a game, how can you ask them to cover a large spread like that?

Take the Chiefs -3.5   The Falcons may have the better record, but they have been lucky.  It's just not as widely publicized as Jacksonville because the Jags do it in the last minute.  The Chiefs get well here- they are still a powerhouse on offense and they are at home against a team that is not as good as its record.

Take the Falcons +3.5   Vick finally broke out of his slump last week as we all thought he eventually would.  KC is a tough place to play but Vick has proven he can do wellin hostile environments.  The Atlanta defense is pretty good too.  They only allowed 95 yds on the ground against San Diego so you know they will be able to stop Priest Holmes.

Take the Patriots -6.5   The Patriots get up for every challenge. I'm sure all week the experts are going to talk themselves into how the Jets can win this thing.  Don't buy it.  6-24- that's the record of the teams the Jets have played during their best start ever.  This undefeated battle will get a lot of hype, but the Jets aren't really at the same level as the Pats.

Take the Jets +6.5    As if these teams didn't hate each other enough, now the Jets can be the ones to end the streak.  More importantly, they can take the lead in the division.  This is a respect game for Gang Green.  They pull this one off and suddenly everyone will be talking about them.  The Patriots and Eagles have been getting all the press- but the Jets are no slouches.  Past Jet teams would have blown one of those games against bad teams- this one hasn't.  6.5 is a juicy number to take in what should undoubtedly be a close game.

Take the Packers -4   The Pack is not dead yet.  They got well last week in Detroit and you have to believe it will continue this week against a struggling Dallas team.  How can the Packers be winless at home?- they will be motivated to rectify that and get back in the division hunt.  The Cowboys loss last week was deflating- the kind of season killer they themselves put on the Giants last year.  They may not recover from those two consecutive home losses.

Take the Cowboys +4   The Cowboys still have their fast defense with a strong secondary that will pounce on all those crazy Favre throws.  Both sides of the ball have been playing fairly well and they should have beaten the Steelers.  The offense should be able to keep things going against a normally terrible Packer D.

Take the Seahawks -7  Okay, so they failed their two biggest tests of the year.  Now that the pressure is off, they can go back to padding their record in that wimpy division.

Take the Cardinals +7  The Cards have been playing well- they've covered most of theirgames.  The last home game, theynot just covered but won going away.  This is a different team under Dennis Green and they just might pounce on a Seahawk team suddenly nursing a losing streak.

Take the Raiders -3   Kerry Collins has now had three bad games as the starter.  He's due for his comeback performance that will allow him to keep his job for another week.  Believe me, I've seen it firsthand as a Giants fan.  Plus, the Raiders were able to unload Me-first guy Jerry Rice so the mood in the locker room should be lighter and more relaxed.

Take the Saints +3  Just like Kerry Collins, the Saints occassionally pull out the perfect game and remind people what they could be if they were properly motivated.  This Raider team gives up a lot of points and the Saints have a lot of offensive weapons to use.

Take the Broncos -5.5   Yikes!  The Bengals on Monday Night??? What is that?  As long as the Bengals D gives up 26 points a game and Carson Palmer is playing, I will always advise against the Bengals.  The Broncos meanwhile have just about won the division and should be ready to roll.

Take the Bengals +5.5  In the interest of fairness, I guess I should come up with some pro-Cincinnati stuff.  They're at home.  This is the second consecutive road game for Denver.  That Drohnes guy can't be good every week, can he?

There, I'm finally done.  If the arguments are kind of weak this week, I apologize.  My heart wasn't too into it on this gloomy day.  To paraphrase TK on PTI- I'll do better next week...

Video Review: "Imagine"

AOL Music: A Perfect Circle: 'Imagine'

   I don't know why the music industry is so full of Bush haters.  Aren't the Republicans the ones who supposedly favor the rich?  Yet we get things like Rock Against Bush without an equal time Rock Against Kerry to counter it.  Now A Perfect Circle enters the fray- the latest band to think we care what they think.  But instead of bothering to compose a scathing new song on their own, like say The Beastie Boys,  they have taken the easy way out and done a cover.  

   Unfortunately, they chose to cover the definitive Lennon tune, "Imagine", a song that could not possibly be improved upon.  Whereas Lennon sounded hopeful (it is called Imagine, after all) APC sounds depressed.  I heard the song on the radio last night and all I thought was "Eh, remake."  After seeing the video today, I say, "Yuck, never let me see that again."  It is almost all stock footage of war and violence, contrasting the lyrics and apparently meant to show that planet Earth is nowhere even close to achieving Lennon's vision. 

     If you don't want to see all the terrible footage, you can be easily distracted by the CNN spoof of fake news and scores scrolling along the bottom.  This is where Bush and others take the majority of their lumps and APC make absolutely sure you know who they are voting for.  Interestingly enough, the last blurb is about how Devo made a social commentary video in the 80's comprised of mostly archival footage.  So, borrowing from Lennon and Devo, A Perfect Circle have achieved the rare double rip-off.  I might not have agreed with their views, but I would have had so much more respect for them if they had written their own song.

Grade: D    (You can follow the blue link above to judge for yourself.)

Saturday Night

   I just wanted to thank everyone who has stopped by to check out what I've been doing here.  101 on the counter in just 4 days- I know that's not all me opening the thing up when I sign on.  Since there's no guestbook that I know of, I encourage everyone to make comments so I know you were here :-)

   Tonight I'm just killing time until the Rock Countdown on MTV2.  In true countdown spirit, and by request of Jamie Mottram, Senior Manager- AOL Channels Community Programming (I'm a namedropper) I am going to dust off my own private personal Best of lists for previous years in rock and/or roll. 

Best of 2003-

25. Feeling This- Blink 182

24. Until the Day I Die- Story of the Year

23. Fall Back Down- Rancid

22. We Used to Be Friends- The Dandy Warhols

21. I Believe in a Thing Called Love- The Darkness

20. The Hardest Button to Button- The White Stripes

19. Glow- Alien Ant Farm

18.  Are You Gonna Be My Girl?- Jet

17. All My Life- Foo Fighters

16. In Da Club- 50cent

15. Meant To Live- Switchfoot

14. Bandages- Hot Hot Heat

13. Do You Call My Name?- Ra

12. Hands Down- Dashboard Confessional

11. Try Honesty- Billy Talent

10. Swing, Swing- All-American Rejects

9. (I Hate) Everything About You- Three Days Grace

8. Shatterday- Vendetta Red

7. Taste of Ink- The Used

6. Diamonds & Guns- Transplants

5. Bottom of a Bottle-

4. Girl's Not Grey- AFI

3. Polyamorous- Breaking Benjamin

2. The Seed- The Roots

1. Hey Ya- Outkast

Review- Friday Night Lights

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

   "I like enthusiasm, but my goodness!"

   Coach Gary Gaines utters this line about one of his hyperactive players, but he might as well be talking about the entire town of Odessa, Texas.  I love football as much as most American guys (maybe it borders on obsession when I use vacation time from my job to leave early on Sunday), but this town takes football obsession to the next level.  Businesses close early and proudly post that they've gone to the game.  Dinner parties discuss the team's chances.  Townsfolk bombard the coach's office with suggestions for the defense.  Since high school teams only play about ten games a season, it makes one wonder what these people do with the rest of their lives.  Probably discuss the past or upcoming season, is my guess.

   One of the points the movie gets across well is that these young players live joyless lives.  Like one kid says, "It's a small town so everyone knows when you screw up."  Is it unfair for seventeen-year-old boys to carry the weight of a town's identity on their shoulders?  Of course it is.  That's what makes it all the more sad that this is a true story.  These boys work their butts off playing as hard as they can and get barely any reward except for the constant reminders from has-been adults that this is the best time of their life and it is very fleeting.  "You have one year to make memories," a father says.  Quite a depressing outlook on life.

  The problem I had with the movie, and it's tough because it's supposed to be this way, is that it is as narrow-minded as its subject.  What's wrong with the quarterback's mom?  I must have missed it if they told us.  Aren't there any girls at this school other than the borderline hookers who appear at one party?  When your whole town is obsessed with the high school football team it doesn't leave much room for personality.  By the time two guys pull up outside Wal-mart and tell the coach he better win the state championship or else, I was saying, "Okay, I get it."

   It's easy to get wrapped up in the big game at the end, considering the implied stakes, but for anyone looking for depth, it really turns into just another sports movie at this point.  The unlikely heroes, the monster team inexplicably getting weaker in the second half, etc...  The football scenes are the most fun, however, most likely to remind us why people would get so into this stuff.  It's a fun game.

  The film is well-cast and shot like a documentary making it easy to forget sometimes that these people are actors.  Tim McGraw certainly looks and acts the part of a drunken dad who sees his own failure in the failures of his son.  I was a little distracted by the Sling Blade reunion every time coach Billy Bob Thornton had a heart to heart with the quarterback, but that was my problem.

  Overall, I wish the movie had gone a little deeper into its characters, but considering the one-track mind of its subjects, there probably wasn't much else there anyway.

2.5 stars

Lost- Episode 4- The Walkabout

   I was psyched for this episode because we were finally going to learn more about the mysterious Mr. Locke.  All we know about him so far is that he likes board games and he believes in miracles.  I would too if 48 people survived a plane crash.

  We open with a flashback to Scene 1 Episode 1, this time seen through the eyes of Locke.  He appears understandably dazed and makes quite a dramatic effort to put his shoe back on.  Walt's dog awakens him as well as everyone else by barking at something rummaging through the plane wreck.  Jack thinks it's Sawyer again, but no dice, he's right behind him.  Soon we find out what happens when animals attack and everyone scatters.  When the creatures run off, Mr. Locke informs us that they were boars.  He looks pretty pleased about this.

     The speaking parts discuss what to do with the bodies since they're attracting animals.  Dr. Jack says burn them- everyone else seems a little more cautious and respectful of the dead.  Next day, Sayid seems upset about Jack's decision and the fact that Jack is the one who makes the decisions.  He tells Kate that he is making an antenna to track the signal the French woman put out.  He rightly points out that if a distress signal has been playing for sixteen years, it must have a power source.

   Sawyer and Hurley fight over the last packets of airline peanuts- here comes Jack to break it up again.  Crisis # 57 is revealed- there's no more food.  Mr. Locke helpfully suggests they hunt- making his entrance by throwing a knife in the general direction of Sawyer.  Way to make a point.  And if you're wondering how he got a set of hunting knives on the plane, well, he checked them of course.  Hmm.

  We flashback to a closeup of Locke getting a phone call where he is addressed as Colonel and told the rendezvous point is secure.  Alas, it's all a camera trick because when the camera pans back we see poor Mr. Locke stuck in an Office Space cubicle (complete with TPS reports).  His boss rudely gets on his back for personal calls at the office, even if they were for role-playing purposes.  Locke gives bossman Randy the evil eye, but gets back to work.

   Back to the present, Jack wonders why Kate always wants to go on the adventures into the mysterious jungle.  She shows him Sayid's antenna.  Meanwhile, Michael tries to convey to Sun that he wants her to babysit while he goes on the wildboar safari.  Wasn't there anyone around who speaks English?  I'm just saying.  And where is her hardcase partner to put a stop to this nonsense?  

  Claire asks Jack if he would like to lead the funeral service at the body burning that night, but he blows her off.  Our good doctor seems awfully cold to the idea of remembering those who were lost (for good).  What kind of doctor lacks sympathy?  I'm sure we will find out eventually. 

 Elsewhere, Boone scoffs at the idea that Shannon can catch fish.  So later, just as Charlie is about to hit his ever-dwindling stash, Shannon asks him if he knows how to fish.  I have a feeling she's used this strategy before- the one that says guys will do anything for a beautiful girl.

   Boone talks Jack into talking to the old black woman who is sitting alone mourning her husband and not eating.  Now an exclusive report from Jack's thoughts: "Why is everyone deferring to me?  Did I ever actually declare myself the leader?  Oh well, I'll do it."  Anyway, Rose ain't talking to nobody, not even the leader.

   Locke finally corners a boar but Michael blows it by loudly questioning the Colonel's hand signals.  Everyone goes down and Michael has gotten gored in the leg for his troubles.  Mr. Locke checks to make sure his foot is still there.  Flashback to the office breakroom, where Locke is playing a wargame complete with little GI Joes.  Randy stops by to ridicule him again.  He was never in the service, he'll never go on a Walkabout (Australian safari adventure thing).  Locke mumbles that he took vacation time, he is going and oh yeah, don't tell him what he can't do.  When Locke wakes up from the flashback, he ignores the injured Michael and goes off to find the boar, leaving Kate and us wondering why he is acting so strangely and why he called her Helen.

   Sorting through the wreckage, Claire finds an envelope with Sayid's name on it.  It's a picture of an Arabic woman which he fingers longlingly.  

   Flashback again, Locke is on the phone withHelen telling her how great it was to tell Randy off (gee, that's not the scene I saw)  He invites her to go with him on his expedition but she says it's against the rules to see customers.  Ouch!  Is anything what it seems with this guy? 

  Back to reality, Kate climbs a tree to try and get a signal with Sayid's antenna.  Unfortunately, G.I.M. (Giant Invisible Monster) decides to strike, knocking the device out of Kate's hands and breaking it.  At the same time, Locke thinks he's onto a boar but is actually onto GIM.  I scream at the TV "No, not Mr. Locke!  He's my favorite!"

    Michael and Kate return less than triumphantly- Walt wants to be impressed with Dad but it's hard when they are missing one team member and Dad has to admit he lost a fight to a boar.  Charlie brings a fish to Shannon but has his bubble burst when Boone reveals that he has been manipulated.  At the shore, Rose pipes up about her husband.  Jack invites her to the funeral to say goodbye to him, but she tells him he is not dead.  Denial ain't just a river, baby.  Oh, and Jack, try to ignore that mysterious man in black looking at you from a distance.

   Kate pulls Jack aside and tells him that Locke is gone, but before he can even mourn he sees that weird MIB again and goes after him this time.  In the woods we find that, hooray, Mr. Locke is not dead!  And he comes bearing a 200 lb boar!

   That night, the funeral begins with Claire reading off everything she could find out about the dead.  Everyone is there except Jack who sits on the beach alone.  Michael thanks Locke for killing the boar.  Locke responds with a look on his face that says, "Hey, I didn't do anything except hide behind a tree and pee my pants while GIM did all the killing and I made off with the body like the scavenger that I am."  Yes, I got all that from one look- the show is that darn good. 

   Final flashback and this one is a shocker.  Locke is denied his place on the Walkabout because he is in a wheelchair!  But it's his destiny, man!  Don't tell him what he can't do!   Back to the crashsite where suddenly, Locke can walk!  That was the miracle he told Walt about, that was why he kept wiggling his toes to make sure they were still there- because he could!  That's why Randy ridiculed him for signing up for a "Walk"about!  So there ya go all you invalids- just get in a plane crash and everything will be all right!  Inspiration in the form of Lost.

Next week: Jack admits he might be crazy and hangs from a cliff.  Plus, there's someone in the water!

Wednesday Night

  Well, I was blown away again by LOST.  My wife seemed shocked when I announced to the living room that this was my new favorite show.  (I'm sorry but the last season of Six Feet Under was just not as great as past seasons, except for the David abduction episode.)  I will post a full review of Lost once I get a chance to watch it again- the phone rang five times (5!) while it was on and NEVER during a commercial.  Typical!

Anyway, why oh why would they put both baseball games on at the same time?  Do MLB officials gather for meetings to discuss how they could possibly be more retarded, because this was a pretty good one.  Add to that that both games are at the same time as a presidential debate- geesh!  I'm going debate with the Yanks on PiP.  Right now, it's 1-0 Daddy.

This Week's Top 10

   I am obsessesed with music.  I am constantly tracking songs I like and compiling lists in my head or even on paper of what my favorites are.  Every year since 98 I can't wait to the end of the year just so I can write down my "Best of" list.  I know no one cares what my favorite songs are, but somehow this categorizing of new music keeps my brain occupied a good portion of the time.  Since this is my space, here's my top ten list for mid-October:

1. Ocean Breathes Salty- Modest Mouse

2. A Favor House Atlantic- Coheed & Cambria

3. Alive & Amplified- The Mooney Suzuki

4. I Love You Cause I Have To- Dogs Die in Hot Cars

5. Golden Touch- Razorlight

6. Slow Hands- Interpol

7. I'm Not Okay (I Promise)- My Chemical Romance

8. Nowhere Again- The Secret Machines

9. Getting Away With Murder- Papa Roach

10. 1985- Bowling for Soup

 

Week 6 NFL forecast

In an effort to thwart and confuse my rivals in the old NFL pool, I spend pretty much all day Tuesday compiling why every team in the league is going to win.  Here are my thoughts on the upcoming week, which I will probably post every week here instead of writing a huge e-mail:

Take the Bills:  Yes, these teams are both winless but they are still miles apart.  The Bills have played just well enough to lose heartbreaker after hearbreaker.  Their offense came alive against the Jets and they almost pulled it out in the Meadowlands.  This will be the week they finally break into the win column and start heading in the right direction.  The Bills simply have more talent and that's what you have to go by here.

Take the Dolphins:  This is going to be one butt-ugly game.  Two of the worst offenses in the league squaring off against two of the better defenses.  Judging by defense, the Dolphins are in better shape.  They held the Patriots offense to shockingly low numbers and if they had had any kind of offense they could have been competitive in that game.  The Bills D on the other hand is banged up in the secondary and gives up many more big plays- such as the game winner from Byron Leftwich (Week 1) and allowing the Jets into FG range (Week 5).  This game is screaming out a score of 6-3 or 7-6.  If the line comes out with the Dolphins getting points, take those points.  

Take the Jets -10  The 49ers are out of their league here.  They had to make a miracle comeback to defeat historically the worst team ever in the Cards.  Now they travel across the country to take on an undefeated team.  It's asking a lot of them to even cover.  Disregard their lucky home win and look at what happened the last time the Niners got on an airplane- they lost 34-0.

Take the 49ers +10  The schedule tells the story here.  The Patriots are waiting for the Jets next week in what could be a battle of undefeateds for first place in the division.  Ask the Seahawks what happens when you just can't wait to play the champs.  This is the LETDOWN I promised about the Jets last week.   TRAP GAME ALERT!!!    

Take the Patriots -4  This team just broke the record for consecutive wins.  I shouldn't even have to give you reasons to bet ON them.  But the fact is that the Seahawks proved they are not ready to be an elite team by blowing a 27-10 lead in a division game at home where they had won the past 10.  Contrast that with the Patriots playing a division game at home and leading 24-10, allowing the Dolphins inside the 10 twice and turning them away twice.  The Pats are the better team here because they are always the better team.

Take the Seahawks +4   The Seahawks want this one so bad they overlooked their biggest rival in their own division.  17 fourth quarter points and an OT loss later, and suddenly the bandwagon wheels are coming off for Seattle.  That is exactly why you should take them.  In a "what have you done for me lately" league, people are jumping all over that disastrous collapse and forgetting that the Seahawks only allowed 13 points total in their first 3 games.  They have already gone on the road twice and walked away winners.  This is the one they have circled on their calendars.  New England has not played a good team since Week 1 (combined record of last 3 opponents 1-13).  Seattle will give them all they can handle.    

Take the Eagles -7.5   Two quick and key things here:  1) Since last season the Eagles have gotten better on offense and the Panthers have gotten worse on defense.  2) The Eagles lost the NFC title game to the Panthers at home last year.  This is the classic REVENGE game. 

Take the Panthers +7.5  The Panthers may be in bad shape at 1-3 but I actually can come up with some reasons to take them 1) they have played well on the road- they beat KC and they were a ridiculously foolish penalty away from tying Denver.  2) They should finally get Stephen Davis back this week, immensely improving the run game which Philly is notoriously weak against.  3) The Eagles could come out flat off the bye week.  They were rolling along and sometimes that interruption is the worst thing that can happen (again look at the Seahawks)  

Take the Browns -2.5  I mentioned it last week and I think it will hold true again.  The Browns are undefeated at home and winless on the road.  They're home this week so take them, especially against a weak Bengals team coming off a bye.

Take the Bengals +2.5  Throw out the records when two rivals clash.  The Browns are injury riddled and the Bengals are better than them on paper anyway.  This is also a potential revenge game, since it was a loss to the Browns last season that cost the upstart Bengals a chance at the division crown.     Take the Lions -1.5  Some things come into focus by the time you hit the middle of October and one of them is this:  The Lions are up and the Packers are down.  Plus, it is pretty well documented how poorly Brett Favre plays in domes.  The worse the Pack does, the more Brett wants to play Superman.  He throws wild passes and forces things into coverage.  It is going to be a long season for that team.  And by long season I mean they are going to lose a lot.

Take the Packers +1.5  Brett Favre has also been known to impose his will on games and now at 1-4 he definitely has that back against the wall kind of feeling.  Everyone has written the Packers off already and they might have something to say about that.  The Lions are a nice story, but it's hard to see them as a good team just yet.  Vegas might be getting ahead of themselves installing Detroit as a favorite over the defending division champs.  

Take the Redskins -1  How much worse can it get for Washington?  Done in by turnovers yet again.  The good news is the pressure is off now- everyone is resigned to the fact that Gibbs is going to struggle this year.  They won't have a raucous Skins crowd to get on their backs when they screw up.  In essence, they have nothing to lose.  A bad Bears team might be just what the doctor ordered to help Washington get back on track.  The Skins defense has played well and the Bears (again) have no offense.

Take the Bears +1  The Bears must be salivating at the chance to play a turnover prone offense.  They have one of the most oppurtunistic defenses around, even with some of their  playmakers hurt.  Coach Lovie Smith got a league high 48 turnovers out of his Rams D last season (this year the Rams have 2,on pace for 8) so you can bet he knows how to get his defensive players to the ball.  The trends I've laid out say it's a close game blown open by a critical Redskins mistake.    

Take the Titans -6.5  What a difference McNair makes.  A blowout loss in San Diego without him and a blowout win with him in Green Bay.  Now they finally come home where they are surprisingly winless.  That will change when the Texans come to town.  The Titans just got a season saving win and looked like a team ready to turn things around.  They have already lost two division games on their own turf and this is their last chance to take one.  Every season the Titans reach a point where it looks like they will finally take that step back and then they surge forward.  That surge began Monday and continues here.  Expect Tennessee to roll.

Take the Texans +6.5  I said it before and I will say it again- the Texans are not doormats anymore.  They were down 21-0 to arguably the league's best offense in the Vikings and they were able to come back and force overtime.  They proved they can hang with anybody and just might catch the Titans off guard here.  Both teams have played mostly close games, 6 and a half points might come in handy.    

Take the Falcons -5.5   The Falcons know they didn't play well last week and were still in the game.  That has to give them confidence.  Four turnovers will not happen every week and I'm sure they will pay extra attention this week to protecting the ball.  Michael Vick is always the most dangerous player on the field and reading all the press about how he is struggling might finally force the coaches to let the man do his thing out there- the "Experience"

Take the Chargers +5.5  The Falcons have not yet covered at home and are playing another game they "should win."  Vick is struggling in his new offense and the Falcons are lucky to have the record they have.  The Chargers are quietly the second highest scoring team in the league and it's a good bet that they can put up enough points to, if not win, at least cover against a team that doesn't score much.    

Take theChiefs -1.5  In their quest to rebound from the bad start, the Jags could notcome at a better time for the Chiefs.  Two weeks ago, it looked like the Chiefs could potentially start 0-5, instead they got a big win in Baltimore and now head into Jacksonville, who all of a sudden don't look as good as they did before.  (The normally strong defense gave up a hundred yards to a no-name Charger last week)  Now with their shaken confidence, the Jags D is asked to stop Priest Holmes.  Chiefs are on an upswing, Jags on a downswing- it's that simple.

Take the Jaguars +1.5  Just like the Seahawks, the Jags have had to watch their bandwagon crash and burn this week.  The defense has had its pride hurt and will be ready to avenge their loss by hitting anything that moves.  The Chiefs built some momentum by winning on Monday two weeks ago but as I said above, there is no bigger momentum killer than the bye.  Road game, bye, road game is a tough combination to overcome and the Chiefs have proven that they are not a good enough team this year to deal with it.    

Take the Cowboys -3  The Cowboys had to be encouraged that they finally got a run game going last week, the problem was they forgot to pass.  This game is so important for them- they can't lose another home game in a division that is slowly slipping away with the Giants and Eagles having such stellar records.  The defense is aware of what former Eagle Duce Staley can do and will be prepared to make the Steelers' rookie quarterback beat them.

Take the Steelers +3  Steelers 4-1, Cowboys 2-2 and the 4-1 team is the underdog?  Come on!  What have the Cowboys done to deserve being a favorite over a winning team- they got blown away by the Vikings and Giants and barely beat the Browns and Redskins.  This Vegas line is a joke.  Take the Steelers to win outright just because the Cowboys are so bad this year.     

Take the Broncos -1.5  It's almost comical how the Broncos really can insert anyone into the RB spot and be able to run the ball.  The guy forced into RB action last week is a backup fullback and he almost got 200 yards.  The Broncos always get up for their arch rivals and with a chance to almost put the division away so early, you know they will pounce all over a suddenly struggling Raiders team. 

Take the Raiders +1.5  The Raiders held true to form last week- win at home, lose on the road.  They're home this week and it could not come at a better time.  Kerry Collins struggled massively in Houston and Indianapolis, but he played so well in his only game at Oakland that he made a lot of people not too upset that Rich Gannon was lost.  Even though they've been winning, the Broncos have struggled on the road with a close loss in Jacksonville and a close win in Tampa.  Not exactly hostile environments- the Raiders crazy fans might help their team get past a tough division opponent.    

Take the Vikings -3.5  The Vikings are hot right now and it's all about the passing game.  Meanwhile, the Saints have given teams their first win in consecutive weeks.  If they can't beat the bad teams, how can they possibly expect to keep up with the Vikings?

Take the Saints +3.5  The Saints are one of those teams that play to the level of their competition.  As easy as it was to predict their struggles with the bad teams, it is just as easy to predict that they will play well against a good team.  It would not shock me at all if the Saints won.  The Vikings are not that great on the road, getting killed by the Eagles and almost blowing it against the Texans.    

Take the Rams -7  The Rams made a statement against Seattle that they are still a force to be reckoned with.  The offense exploded for 17 points in five minutes to force overtime.  If the Seahawks lose to New England on Sunday, which is very possible, the Rams should come out ready to explode again on a bad Bucs team since they would have the oppurtunity to take the lead in the division.

Take the Bucs +7  Scores of Bucs games this season: L 16-10, L 10-6, L 30-20, L 16-13,  W 20-17.   If you could take them +7 every week, you would have a pretty good thing going.  The Rams may have exploded last week, but that was against a good team caught off guard.  The Bucs are much more physical than the Rams are used to- when the Rams get hit in the mouth by physical teams, they fold pretty quickly.

Origin Story

     Captain Happy has existed for about 7 years now.  He first came into existence in college when I was being my usually silly self in Psych class and invented a character for various diseases.  CH was the leader who organized these various strange people into an orchestra and toured the world.  It was never intended to be anything significant, like I said, it was just me being silly. 

    It was around this time that my family first got hooked up to the internet and Capt Happy just naturally became my screen name.  I realize it's not a very interesting story but at least I can dispel the rumor that CH is a penis.