The Office Quotes "The Return: Producer's Cut"

Jim: I miss Dwight.  Congratulations, Universe.  You win.

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Michael (admiring Oscar's new car):  How many pesos that set you back?

Oscar: It's a company lease.  From the settlement.  After you kissed me. 

Michael: Well, that's how this company takes care of its employees.  We settle and we settle high.

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Kevin: Hi, Oscar.  How was your gay-cation?

Oscar: That's very funny, Kevin.

Kevin: Yeah, I thought of that, like, two seconds after you left.

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Oscar: Hey, where's Dwight?

Creed: Oh, you didn't hear?  Decapitated!  Whole big thing.  We had a funeral for a bird.

Jim: Pretty sure none of that's real.

(Oh, but it is, Jim!  LOL But it was Truck, not Dwight.)

Creed:  You're not real, man!

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Michael:  (about Andy)  He's always up in my bidness, which is ebonics for being in my face, annoying the bejezzus out of me.  I just don't understand how someone could have so little self-awareness.

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Michael (to Oscar): Your gayness does not define you.  Your Mexican-ness is what defines you, to me.  And we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity.  So Phyliss, I want you to go find some firecrackers ...and a...chihuahua.   Pam, in the frozen food section, Swanson makes a delightful chimichanga.

Oscar:  Why don't you have me riding in on a donkey into the office?

Michael: Ahhh, of course.  A burro.  If Oscar wants a donkey, let's get him one.

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Karen: ... I've inherited 15 new clients from Dwight and each file is password protected with a different mythical creature so...

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Jim: Hey, Ryan, you wanna pull a prank on Andy?

Ryan: Not right now, but ask me again ten years ago.

Jim: I liked you better as a temp.

Ryan: Me too.

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Andy (singing): In your head!  In your head!  Zombie-e-e-e-e-e!

Jim: Would you like to pull a prank on Andy?

Pam: I'm kind of in the middle of- Yes please!

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Kelly: So how much do you love Lance Bass now?

Oscar: I don't know who that is.

Kelly: You don't know who Lance Bass is? Only one of the five best singers ever and ...gay!

Oscar: I've never heard of him.

Kelly: You really need to learn more about your culture.

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Michael: I don't want someone sucking up to me because they think it will help their career.  I want someone sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.

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Andy: So Michael had a little talk with corporate and they decided to send me to management training.  Anger management technically, but still, management material.