Fun with Job Listings

Found this one on AOL's new job listings:

Special agents are charged with two missions: protection and investigation. During the course of their careers, special agents carry out assignments in both of these areas and must be available to be assigned to duty stations anywhere in the world.

Newly appointed special agents may be assigned to duty stations anywhere in the United States. Throughout their careers, agents may experience frequent travel and reassignments to Secret Service offices located throughout the United States or liaison assignments in foreign countries.    REQUIREMENTS Special Agent Requirements

• U.S. citizenship.
  
• Must be at least 21 years of age and younger than 37 at time of appointment.
  
• (1) Bachelor's degree from an accredited college or university; or (2) three years of work experience in the criminal investigative or law enforcement fields that require knowledge and application of laws relating to criminal violations; or (3) and equivalent combination of education and related experience.
  According to the Office of Personnel Management regulations, nonqualifying law enforcement experience is as follows: Experience as a uniformed law enforcement officer where the principal duties consisted of investigations and arrests involving traffic violations, minor felonies, misdemeanors, and comparable offenses; or in which the major duties involved guarding and protecting property, preventing crimes, and/or legal research without the application of investigative techniques.
  
• Uncorrected vision no worse than 20/60 binocular; correctable to 20/20 in each eye.
  (NOTE: Lasik, ALK, RK and PRK corrective eye surgeries are acceptable eye surgeries for special agent applicants provided specific visual tests are passed one year after surgery. Applicants who have undergone Lasik surgery may have visual tests three months after the surgery.)
  
• Excellent health and physical condition.
  
• Must pass the Treasury Enforcement Agent.
  
• Complete background investigation to include in-depth interviews, drug screening, medical examination, and polygraph examination.

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I fell off the chair when I read this one....

Lockheed Martin's vision is to be the world's best systems integrator in aerospace, defense and technology services; to be the company our nation and its allies trust most tointegrate their largest, most complex, most important advanced technology systems. Our goal is to provide the best value to our customers, growth opportunities to our employees, and superior returns to our stockholders.

Janitorial position requires individuals to be responsible for providing services to assigned areas. Duties include cleaning of offices, hallways, restrooms and other public areas. May use cleaning equipment including floor washers, buffers, and polishers.
Requires high school diploma or GED. Prior janitorial experience preferred.

 

1) I found it funny that the government is looking for special agents on the internet.  2)  I also found it funny that Lockheed Martin chooses to share its mission statement with the potential janitor. 

Maybe it's just me.

My search continues...