I Dream of Murder

  So, as I came to expect.  I didn't get my too good to be true job at Pepsi Bottling.  They told me the interview went well, but they decided to fill the position from the inside.  I take that to mean that the union got involved and pushed for a promotion for one of their boys.  Unions suck.  That's right, I said it.  I don't even care if they have me killed.  But please remember, union, if you do decide to have me killed, that I have a wife and daughter. 

Anyway, I've made my peace with that.  What I really wanted to talk about was the dream I had last night.  I was part of a conspiracy cover-up organization of some kind that was helping kill people secretly.  So I had a sit-down with Nicolette Sheridan at my dining room table to discuss our plans to murder the cast of Grey's Anatomy for becoming better than Desperate Housewives.  Before we could come up with a solid plan, my wife sprang up from the couch and revealed that she had only been pretending to sleep and had heard the whole thing.  She stomped out of the room and said she was leaving me.  I smoothed things over by telling her, "I wasn't planning to kill YOU."  Then I woke up before anyone but the short black boss lady could be killed in a mysterious accident.  Good times!