What The Fog?

  My own wife didn't believe me about the clowns the other day!  Lisa was right, I should have taken a picture.  I swear to Buddha that that really happened.

  In football news, I was a mediocre 6-8 this past week but managed to hold onto first.  As punishment for not believing me about the clowns, karma made Keri go 2-12 and fall from second to fifth.  The only question remains, what will happen to me for laughing at the clowns instead of helping them?  Well, Pepsi hasn't called me back yet...  PS- my brother, who has gone back to school to become a social worker went 10-4 and is breathing down my neck 3 games back.  Looks like Carson Daly really is right about that karma stuff, Earl.

  Now that's what we writers call a segue.  In case you missed it, NBC is rerunning the pilot of My Name is Earl tonight.  The first show should have been an hour because the set-up takes up half the show and the first resolution in Earl's journey happens way too quickly.  Fortunately, with the premise out of the way, future episodes run more smoothly.  The pilot was still laugh out loud funny, though, and got me hooked immediately.  Having Jason Lee, who I've loved since Mallrats, doesn't hurt either.

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  I was all set to call this entry "(I Don't) Enjoy the Silence" because of the trouble I've had with my music scene lately.  First, I've been borrowing my Dad's car and my Sirius radio blew the fuse in the cigarette lighter, so Sirius is out and my soul hurts.  Then, my Realplayer Rhapsody password got messed up and I couldn't log in.  Fortunately, they do get around to answering their e-mail eventually.  I contacted them about 50 million times, so I guess they finally wanted to shut me up.  Anyway, I now have Rhapsody back so I am a little better and had to change the name of the entry.  The lesson is, and I am 100% serious here, don't use the "Remember Password" option on sign-in screens because when something like this happens, you usually have no idea what you made the password and you're up a creek without a plunger.

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  In order to get to work with my sanity, I had to dust off my Best of 2004 homemade CD and listen to that on the way to and from work.  So, whatever my song list was last week, it stays the same this week because I haven't heard anything new in a while. 

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*SPOILERS AHEAD*

  Last night, my wife and I went to the movies to see The Fog.  Unfortunately, my Ironclad Law of Horror Movies stood up once again.  If it's not rated R, it is going to suck.  The whole thing made no sense whatsoever which might be okay, if it wasn't so, um, boring and not scary!  Don't waste God's gift of sight by watching this crap.

Here are the questions I came up with as we talked it over in bed last night:

  -Why was Maggie Grace walking along the side of the road and why would her boyfriend pick her up and act like nothing had happened after she left town without a note however long ago it was?  How about even a smidge of tension between them?  Especially since he was in a relationship with Selma Blair. 

  -Or wait, was he?  They only had one real scene together and they didn't exactly act like people who had been fooling around and were facing a dilemma with the return of Maggie.  The only reason I could see for them even knowing each other was that so Baby Superman could save her son.  And who was the father of that kid?  Was he a pedophile that knocked up a twelve year old?  Because Selma Blair looked way too young to have a ten or twelve-year-old.  And if the kid had been a little younger, not only would I have bought that she had a kid, it also would have made me care about him more when danger came a-calling.  

  -How come when the aunt got grabbed by the ghost in the sink, she became a burning corpse, but Selma Blair got grabbed by a ghost in almost the very next scene and was able to get away?

  -The whole character development was half-assed- like they laid the groundwork but didn't finish the job.  Why was Maggie's mother not exactly happy to see her and if this was the case, why would Maggie care so much when Mom bit it?  Who was that dog guy and why did he have cuts all over him...and why did his one dog die in the beginning?

  -Why would the leper colony wait more than 100 years to get their revenge on people who had nothing to do with them, instead of haunting the founding fathers who double-crossed and murdered them?  And did Maggie Grace die at the end?  And did that make everything ok- does the haunting stop now because the ghost leader got the girl?

  -And the cliches!  Were they in there as a nod to the genre or were the writers just lazy?  I laughed out loud when Selma's car stalled.  And the token black guy was the comic relief yet again.

I think I had more, but I don't want to waste any more time thinking about this! 

GRADE: D

 

PS- Movie theater popcorn makes your pee smell funny.