LOST- Episode 8: Confidence Man

    Previously on LOST- Jin attacked Michael, Michael found out Sun speaks English and Sayid got cracked on the coconut.

  No opening eyeball this week- instead we get Kate walking alone on the beach with a bunch of bananas.  She comes across some discarded clothes and the book Sawyer has been reading.  Our resident bad boy is taking a little dip but when he spots Kate, he gets out to let her spot him.  This is not NYPD Blue, so the camera stays above the waist- sorry, ladies.  Kate dismisses his crude come-on which makes Sawyer think back to a bedroom romp with a woman who didn't think he was a total pig.  He tells her he loves her, but the good times don't last when she points out that he is going to be late for his meeting.  In his haste, he drops his briefcase, which pops open and dumps out a whole lotta cash.  "You weren't exactly supposed to see that," Sawyer tells his girl.

  Back to reality, Sawyer is walking through the jungle when he hears some ominous rustling. He breaks into a run and catches Boone rummaging through the secret stash of stuff Sawyer has been so careful to hide from everyone.  Obviously, not careful enough.  Elsewhere, Jack is tending to Sayid's wounds and asks what happened to him.  Sayid recounts last week's happenings almost as well as I could have.  The only new information we get is that the transceiver has been destroyed as well.  Jack advises against making hasty accusations, but Sayid promises no such thing.  Their conversation ends when Shannon drags her injured brother into the camp.  Boone's one word answer to what happened to him:  Sawyer.  Cue creepy LOST title screen.

  At the beach, Charlie, who is looking much healthier now that he is not the focus of the episode, brings a bottle of water to Claire, who is making her triumphant return to television.  Seriously, this woman was written out of the show for so long, my wife thought she really had a baby.  Charlie confesses that he worries about her out in the sun and tries to convince her to switch to Team Cave.  She insists she is staying put until they get rescued.

  Over at the cave, Boone tells Jack that Shannon has asthma and her inhaler is empty.  There were more inhalers in their luggage, which Sawyer has, evidenced by Sawyer's reading of the book Boone packed.  Cut to the beach, where Jack has teleported over to take immediate action against Sawyer.  They argue the merits of the Finders-Keepers policy and are about to come to blows when Kate interrupts them.  In case he might accidentally impress the woman who has a thing for him, Jack chickens out and walks away. 

  Sawyer flashes back to the bedroom where he tries to quickly explain the reason he is carrying all that cash.  It's all the money he has, $140,000, and he is investing in an oil mining operation.  You could triple your money, but one share costs 300 thou.  He has an investor to cover the rest, but his girlfriend helpfully offers to get the rest of the money from, who else but, her husband.

  In the present, Kate goes after Jack who tells her he would really like to kill Sawyer- the only thing stopping him is that they are not savages- yet.  Kate offers to talk to the man instead, since Sawyer seems to think they have some kind of connection. 

  Kate finds Sawyer chopping wood and asks him what he wants for the inhalers.  A kiss oughta do it.  Kate tells him that she doesn't buy his act.  She really gets his attention when she says she has seen him reading the precious piece of paper he keeps in his pocket.  The care with which he protects it tells her that there is a real person in there.  Sawyer is offended that she thinks she knows him and forces her to read the letter from his pocket, out loud, thank goodness:

     To: MrSawyer@aol.com

    From: HauntingBackstory@yahoo.com

Subject: You ruined my life!

  You don't know who I am, but I know who you are and I know what you've done.  You had sex with my mother and then you stole my dad's money all away.  So he got angry and killed my mother.  And then he killed himself too.  All I know is your name, but one of these days I'm going to find you and I'm going to give you this letter so you remember what you've done to me.  You killed my parents, Mr. Sawyer.

  Well, how convenient- a commercial for the asthma medicine, Advair.  I get it- if you're ever stranded on anisland and someone steals your inhalers, wouldn't you wish you had a pill to take instead?  Brilliant!

  Sayid begins his investigation with Locke, who seems most likely to not want to leave the island.  Locke steers the investigation away from himself and on to Sawyer by suggesting a cigarette could be used to delay a fuse.  He then hands over one of his knives- for next time.

  That night, Shannon's breathing is getting worse so when Sawyer stops by to fill his water bottle, Jack demands the inhalers and he is not kidding around.  He punches Sawyer twice but gets nothing but taunts in return.  Sawyer doesn't fight back because he is too busy having a flashback to the time when he got his girlfriend's husband in on the oil investment.  He uses reverse psychology by trying to back out.  When he tries to walk away and is stopped, he smiles a very snake-like smile to himself.

  Back at the beach, Charlie and Claire discuss what they miss about the real world.  Charlie strikes a deal with her that if he can find some peanut butter, she will move to the caves.  Elsewhere, Shannon has taken another turn for the worse, but Dr. Jack helps her through it.  Afterward, Jack agrees to let Sayid perform torture methods he learned in the Iraqi military to make Sawyer give up the inhalers.

  Walking through the jungle, Charlie pushes the wrong button on Hurley in the quest for peanut butter.  Fatty likes food, so he must have some tucked away somewhere.  He does not and is mightily insulted.  For Charlie's information, Hurley is down a notch in his belt.  Elsewhere, Sun sneaks up to Michael and reveals that she can help Shannon but will have to do it through him since she's not supposed to understand what's happening.

  Jack and Sayid abduct Sawyer while he's asleep and begin to threaten and torture him.  Sawyer does not back down but after getting some horrible fingernail torture and thereatened with losing an eye, he finally gives in.  His original stipulation holds, however, and Kate must kiss him.  In another flashback, Sawyer assures his partner in a sleazy pool hall that the scam definitely worked and they will have their mark's money in no time.  The man still seems unsure and demands his own money back plus fifty percent by the next day...or else.

  Kate comes to Sawyer and fulfills his request quite nicely.  She definitely went above and beyond the call of duty in my opinion- perhaps she can't resist his bad boy charm after all.  Unfortunately for Kate and Shannon, Sawyer doesn't even have the inhalers- Boone's book washed up on the beach.  Sayid doesn't believe it, pulls out his shiny new knife and heads over to do God knows what.  Sawyer frees himself just in time and they brawl a little and fall to the ground, causing the knife to cut Sawyer's arm, severing an artery.  Jack does all he can to stop the bleeding and sends Sayid back for his medical bag. 

  Michael brings Sun the plants she asked for but Jin comes from behind and is very angry.  It is possible he just caught her speaking English, but I don't know for sure since I can't speak Korean.  Michael tells the man to back off.

  Sawyer struggles to tell Kate and Jack that he doesn't even want to live and if the tables were turned he would want Jack to die.  Sawyer flashes back to the time he finally sealed the oil deal with his girlfriend's husband.  Or almost sealed, that is.  When he realizes that they have a little boy, he backs out, drops the money and walks away without looking back.

  Sawyer wakes up all bandaged up with Kate watching over him.  She has been reading his letter over and over, trying to figure out why he would pretend to have Boone's bag just to play the bad guy.  The seal on the envelope is from the bicentennial, written by Sawyer himself when he was just a kid.  Sawyer is not even his real name, it is the name of the man who was indirectly responsible for his parents' deaths.  Growing up, "Sawyer" became a "confidence man" himself, preying on pretty women with dumb husbands.  He had become the man he was pursuing and thus, took his name.

  Back at the cave, Jack finds Sun using a mixture she made from eucalyptus leaves to soothe Shannon's asthma.  Meanwhile at the beach, Charlie brings Claire an empty jar of peanut butter and they pretend to eat it.  Kate catches Sayid with his bags packed and heading off down the beach.  He is ashamed of what he almost did to Sawyer so he is banishing himself from camp and going to map the island on his own.  Team Beach was supposed to be the optimists, but Sayid kind of blows that when he says, "I hope we meet again."

  Now it's time for the bi-weekly musical montage:  Defeated on a lame technicality, Claire and Charlie are seen carrying Claire's stuff off the beach.  Shannon smiles at her brother when he brings her some water and the Con-Artist Formerly Known as Sawyer can't quite bring himself to burn that childhood letter.  The last shot is from the distance- Sayid walking alone as the music says, "I shall not walk alone." 

  Well, with Shannon, Boone, and Claire switching sides and Sayid leaving, it looks like Team Beach has been decimated.  Probably planned by the writers that the optimists would be the first ones to break up... 

Next week on LOST: Hurley and Locke find something that fell out of the plane so shocking, it causes Hurley to mutter, "Dude..."  Also, Sayid is captured by a mysterious woman who has syringes and electricity.