Games. Movies and Music

  Diner Dash has sunk its claws into me.  After my wife, daughter, brother and sister all became addicted to it, I had to sit down one day and see what all the fuss was about.  That was about a week ago.  Last night at one in the morning, I completed the game.  As the first one in the house to finish it, and as a video game expert, I feel qualified to offer these helpful hints:

- Diner Dash is like life- sometimes you just have to ignore the old people.  I call this strategy the After-Hours Senior Special.  Anyone who has seen Wrestling Ernest Hemingway knows that old people don't come to restaurants for food, they come for company.  Flo is no Sandra Bullock, but as long as you find time to stand at the podium and talk to them, the seniors will stand in line from open to close with a smile on their face, waiting for you to seat them.  The most important thing you can do to win Diner Dash is save the old people for last.

- The first thing you must do to get past the higher levels is let the line build up until it is out the door.  If a group is waiting outside where you can't see them, they don't get mad.  Only the line that is on-screen gets grumpy about waiting.  Once you have a line, seat any non-senior group at a table.  If you have a bar, save it as a last resort in case you have a group of business women or college kids who just won't wait in line when you have no tables left.  I have made it past some levels without even having to use the bar.  The bar is also useful if you have a line full of old people and another group of seniors is next to walk in.  If you absolutely have to sit seniors, at least take a group you can color code with the chairs.

- While everyone is looking at the menu, stand at the podium and keep the old fogies happy.  They just want attention.  Once every one has their order, take the orders all at once.  The only way to pass most levels is to chain actions together.  This is another important reason to let the line build up.  I passed the final level on my first try because I was getting chains in double digits.  It didn't even matter if I lost the occasional table.  Chain the orders together and then do the same thing serving food.  Do not serve snacks in between because it breaks the chain.  The only time to serve snacks is after a chain is over andyou happen to be close by.  Otherwise while everyone is eating, you should stand at the podium and keep the geezers happy.

- Handing out checks in a row gets the most points, so make sure you finish everyone off at the same time.  Then clear all the tables in a row.  Flo will do that on her own if you check everything off, so while she is cleaning, you should be looking at your line anticipating color matches.  After cleaning is done, stand at the podium while you are seating the next batch of customers.  Then repeat the order and serving process over and over again until closing.  Once all the tables are clear and the restaurant is closed, it's finally time for the After-Hours Senior Special.  Some of those dudes have been waiting all day for it!  Repeat the chaining process until everyone is gone.  This strategy should make you an expert on almost every level.  :-)

-------

    On Friday, my brother and I went to see See No Evil, the WWE produced film starring WWE wrestler Kane.  It wasn't a cinematic masterpiece, but it wasn't supposed to be.  It was a classic-style R-rated horror movie.  It was no better or worse than anything Jason or Freddy or Michael Meyers has to offer.  If you like slasher films, then you will like this movie.  My brother complained about some of the plot holes and ridiculousness of it all, but as I pointed out to him, half the fun of this type of movie is picking it apart.  If you can accept, or at least laugh about the notion that Jason Voorhees can squeeze someone's head until their eyes pop out, then you should certainly have no problem with Kane removing an eyeball in tact with his fingernail.

  The only problem I can see with the movie is the inherent stigma that comes from the phrase WWE Films.  My wife didn't want to go and her initial reason was that she didn't want to see a wrestling movie.  Other than the fact that the killer is played by a wrestler, this movie has nothing to do with wrestling.  I really think Vince McMahon made a mistake naming his film division WWE Films.  He should have called it VKM Films or something.  That way it would still be named after him, but not everyone might initially realize that the movie was in any way associated with that filthy, lowest common denominator establishment known as pro wrestling. 

  I think the film did reasonably well in its limited release.  The evening show we wanted to go to was sold out and we had to come back at 10.  If we hadn't had our tickets in advance we would have been shut out then too.  It may have come in 6th, but that was on only 1000 screens.  It had the third highest gross per screen, which means you could techinically say it did better than RV and MI 3.  If it had opened wide on 4000 screens like Da Vinci, See No Evil would have been third or even second.  Horror movies have a built-in critic-proof audience and have been bucking the downward box-office trends lately.  I dare say that in a wide release with no competition from a summer tent pole like Da Vinci, Kane could have been a Number 1.

BTW, even though there were no sex scenes like a good horror movie should always have, the best thing about See No Evil was that it was rated R and was not afraid to amp up the gore.  It was certainly better than the PG-13 garbage that has been passing for horror lately like Boogeyman, The Fog and the abysmally boring When A Stranger Calls.  Remember kids, if a horror movie is PG-13, then it is going to suck.  It's an ironclad rule.

----

Not much change on my music scene this time around.  The stuff I like now I have not yet grown tired of and I haven't had much car time to hear anything new.

This Week's Top Ten:

1. Crazy- Gnarls Barkley

2. Hands Open- Snow Patrol

3. The Number- Pretty Girls Make Graves

4. Fraud in the 80's- Mates of State

5. Miss Murder- AFI

6. Conventional Wisdom- Built to Spill

7. This Isn't Farm Life- Essex Green

8. Saying Sorry- Hawthorne Heights

9. Hard to Beat- Hard Fi

10. New English- Ambulance LTD