LOST- Episode 19: Deus Ex Machina

  Previously on LOST: Locke was denied his place on the Australian walkabout, regained his ability to walk after the plane crash and found a hatch in the ground.

  We open in flashback mode to a busy Wal-mart-looking place where Locke (with hair, but barely) is working in the toy department.  He explains his display of the board game Mouse Trap to a young boy, but is interrupted by a woman in a fur coat who seems to want to speak specifically with Locke.  He offers assistance and she asks where the footballs are.  Aisle 8 for regulation, 15 for Nerf.  815! BOM BOM BOM!  You would think this would trigger the creepy LOST title screen, but it doesn't.

  In the present, Locke and Boone are trying to open the hatch by breaking the glass on the door with some crazy contraption- Locke gives it a name, but you'll have to consult a professional recapper with access to a script- I don't even try to spell French words.  Anyway, basically what they do is drop a tree trunk with a piece of metal tied to it right onto the glass panel.  As they are setting it up, Boone asks Locke why he never talks about his life.  Locke replies that his life story is boring.  They spring their contraption but it collapses upon impact with the hatch- not even making a dent.  Locke throws an uncharacteristic temper tantrum and screams, "This was supposed to work!"  Boone points out that Locke has a piece of shrapnel stuck in his leg- Locke pulls it out and it is covered with BLOOD!  

  At camp that night, Locke tends to his wound and begins to prick himself in the legs with a pin.  Not satisfied with the results, he takes a stick out of the fire and burns the bottom of his foot.  Apparently, he feels nothing.  This unfortunate development is what finally triggers that creepy LOST title screen we all know and love.

  The next day, a cranky Locke begins to rebuild his hatch-opening contraption , but Boone's lack of faith is trying his patience.  Locke then flashes back to the 'not Wal-mart' parking lot where a flyer for a LOST dog is on his windshield.  That's not the big news though- the big news is that that fur coat lady is watching him again.  He chases after her, gets knocked over by a car, gets back up and catches up to the woman. She tells him that she is his mother.

  This news is enough for them to have a cup of coffee together.  She tells him that he is very special and their meeting is a sign of great things to come.  Locke asks about his father, but Mom drops the bombshell that Locke was immaculately conceived.  Okay, so she's crazy.

  Over at the garden, Sawyer asks Sun if she is sure he gave her the right magic healing leaf because nothing is happening.  Kate asks what is going on, but Sawyer won't tell her and walks off.  Sun reveals that Sawyer is suffering from headaches and aspirin and magic leaves are not helping.  Kate returns to Cavetown to consult a doctor, but Jack is reluctant to help.  He says all he would get for his trouble is a one-liner and a new nickname.

  At the hatch, Locke tells Boone that he is late for work and Boone replies that he is done working.  Boone says that they can't open the hatch- Locke replies with his classic catchphrase, "Don't tell me what I can't do."  He says that the island will send them a sign.  Boone mocks this comment, until a crashing little plane flies by over their heads.  Things start to get weird now.  Boone begins cut-scening back and forth between being normal and being battered and bloodied.  He repeats, "Theresa falls down the stairs.  Theresa falls up the stairs."  Locke also sees his mother pointing toward the plane crash and finds himself back in the wheelchair.  He awakens from his dream in a panic, but when he calms down, a look of recognition passes over his face.

  As the sun rises, Locke wakes Boone up and they set off for the jungle.  Locke flashes back to his meeting with a PI at work.  The man tells him all about his schizopherenic mother.  He is reluctant to hand over the information about Locke's father, but Locke insists on having it.  Locke takes the blood red folder and drives his blood red VW bug to the gates of Anthony Cooper, his father's house.  They share a drink and Dad invites his son hunting.  Locke happily accepts- he's never been hunting before.

  In the present, Locke tells Boone about his crazy dream.  Boone is skeptical, but Locke mentioning Theresa gets his attention and they set off tofind the dream plane.  At the beach, Jack finds Sawyer in a typically grumpy mood.  Jack doesn't have much patience for his patient, but he does learn that Sawyer's uncle died of a brian tumor, which may or may not be important.  Sawyer declines Jack's offer to run a few tests.

  Locke and Boone travel deeper into the jungle, with Boone still questioning the dream.  Locke trips and after he gets up, he notices a rosary bead hanging from a branch.  He pulls a rope and a rotting skeleton falls from a tree.

  After commercials, Locke is LOST in his memories again- this time he thinks back to showing up early for a visit with Dad and finds him getting dialysis treatment for a failing kidney.  Dad says not to worry- it won't spoil their day together.

  Locke and Boone study the corpse- the man was a priest from Nigeria.  Locke speculates that he has been dead anywhere from two to ten years.  Locke is a lot of things, but he's not a CSI.  He does question the dead guy's priesthood when he finds a gun.

Kate drags Sawyer by force to see Jack who runs his follow the pen test and asks some wildly inappropriate questions about STDs and prostitutes.  To avoid revealing any more embarrassing things, Sawyer storms off in anger.  Jack tells Kate that the man needs glasses.

  In the jungle, Locke continues to deny that anything is wrong with him, even though he can barely walk.  He finally collapses and is forced to tell Boone his wheelchair secret.  He starts spouting his crazy magic theories- convinced that the island wants them to find the plane.  Perhaps not believing but still impressed by the man's determination, Boone picks Locke up and helps him move forward.

  Locke has a quick flashback to some father-son bonding.  Locke beams with pride when his dad is proud of him for shooting down a bird and Dad is thankful that crazy Mom ended up bringing them together.

  A tired Boone drops Locke for a second and reveals that Theresa was his nanny.  She fell down the stairs and broke her neck when Boone was six.  That's right- six!!!  Oh wait, I don't think six is one of the special numbers.  Sorry.  Locke starts laughing, which angers Boone, until he realizes that Locke has seen the plane they are looking for, dangling precariously above them on the edge of a cliff.

  Locke is sure that the answers to all their questions are inside that plane, so he sends Boone climbing up the cliff to get in.  Locke then flashes back to pre-surgery with Dad.  Locke is giving up one of his kidneys.  Dad thanks him and Locke tells him it was meant to be.

  Back at the beach, Jack tells Sawyer that he is getting headaches from all the reading he does and offers a wide selection of glasses.  When they find the right prescription for both eyes, Sayid uses primitive welding techniques to make one new pair of glasses out of two.  The weird spectacles draw some laughs from Hurley and the others, but at least Sawyer's problem is solved.

  Back to more important things- Boone makes it up the cliff after some time-killing missteps and gets into the plane.  Unfortunately, all he finds are maps and statuettes of the Virgin Mary filled with heroin.  Locke is disheartened and questions out loud why the island would send them to a drug smuggler's plane.  Before he can get a good cry going, he hears the plane rocking on the edge of the cliff and yells for Boone to get out ASAP.  But perhaps more importantly, Boone has found the radio- and it works!  Someone answers him on the other end, but before a rescue can be arranged, the plane does a nose dive off the cliff.  Locke struggles to get up and drag a bloodied and unconscious Boone out of the wreckage.

  In Cavetown, Jack and Kate have some 'Aren't we sexy?' banter but are interrupted by Locke returning to camp with his injured friend.  He tells Jack that Boone fell off a cliff while hunting (almost believable since he is such a klutz!).  Jack goes to work and asks Locke exactly what happened.  Locke is already gone and can't answer, however.

He has snuck away to have a flashback to post-surgery.  Dad's hospital bed is already made and he is gone.  As a confused Locke wonders what happened, Mom stops by to tell him that all Dad wanted was the kidney and she got some money out of him to supply one.  Dad arranged the whole thing, including Mom finding Locke to begin with.  This is just too unbelievable, so Locke returns to the gate of his father's house where the security guard won't let him in.  Coming to the realization that his Dad is not a "cool guy" and is, in fact, quite heartless and selfish, Locke breaks down and cries on the side of the road in anger and heartbreak.

  In the present, Locke is again crying and in the midst of a mental breakdown.  He pounds on the hatch and yells about how he has done everything asked of him.  It is then that Locke's faith is finally rewarded- a light comes on from inside the hatch window.  We leave Locke staring in wonder at the haunting glow and fade out for the night.

  Next week on LOST- Jack promises to not let Boone die, Claire goes into labor forcing Kate and Charlie to become impromptu midwives and Boone asks Jack to just let him go.  You know, like, die.